CHAPTER TWO: GOODBYE

The run took nearly thirty minutes, and she arrived at the airport at just after nine.  With the envelope still firmly in her hand and the small box still in her pocket, she found the gate his flight was leaving from and positioned herself strategically so she would be able to see him as soon as he had finished with all the security checks.

She fidgeted nervously for over twenty minutes, her fingers tapping incessantly on the envelope, her hand reaching down to her pocket every few minutes to make sure the little box was still there.  She was so caught up in making sure she had everything that she didn't even notice as Giles walked up to her and took a seat beside her.

"Waiting for someone?" came the British voice from beside her.

She jumped at the sound of it, but she looked up and gave a sheepish grin to the familiar face.

"Yeah, something like that," she replied quietly.

They sat in silence for nearly ten minutes, neither one entirely sure where to begin with the conversation that could make or break their entire relationship.  Part of her, the selfish part, wanted to get down on her hands and knees and beg Giles to stay with her.  But she knew that she had no right to even ask him to stay, let alone beg him to.

Giles eventually sighed, the silence between them having finally got to him.

"If you're here to ask me to stay, it won't work," he said, his voice soft, gentle, not accusing her of anything, just stating a fact.

"I know.  I wasn't even gonna ask," she replied.

He saw the envelope in her hand and nodded to it. 

"What's in the envelope?"

She looked down at it, staring at it as though it was the first time she had even seen it.  She shook herself, trying to force herself out of her endless depression.

"Oh, uh…it's…it's for you," she said, handing it to him.

He took it gingerly, peeking inside.  He was astounded by the sheer volume of the pages. 

"You uh…you don't want me to read it before I get on the plane, do you?" he asked.

"What?  No!  You uh…you probably couldn't get through it all.  I uh…I think I kinda went a bit nuts with the whole writing thing.  I…I haven't really been keeping a journal since…since I came back so…it kinda felt good to get some stuff out.  Oh and uh…you hafta forgive me for the spelling mistakes," she joked.

He smiled a little at that and sat the envelope on his lap.

"Well uh…thank you.  I think," he said quietly.

He hated the uncomfortable silences that sat between them now.  He hated the way that ever since he had first seen his Slayer alive again after five months of her being dead, he hadn't had the faintest idea of what to say to her.  It had hurt him on a level he couldn't understand, and, even though he would never admit it, it was one of the reasons he was leaving.  He couldn't bear being shut out.

"It's uh…kinda long.  And I didn't write it to make you feel guilty or anything I just…"

"Needed to get it out," he finished.

She gave a small smile and nodded, thankful that he still understood her sometimes.

"Flight 841 from Sunnydale to Los Angeles, then continuing on to London is now boarding," a voice over the PA announced.

Giles looked up at the sound, suddenly alarmed.  He had barely said a word to his Slayer in the forty minutes that they had been sitting there.  He needed to explain, needed to make sure she understood that he was leaving so she could continue on with her life without having to rely so much on other people.

Buffy stood up and looked down at him.

"So I guess this is it?" she asked sadly.

He stood up and swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in his throat.  He saw tears forming in his Slayers eyes and held back the urge to wipe them away.

"I guess it is," he agreed.

Buffy hesitated for only a second before stepping forward and putting her arms around his waist.  He hugged her back tightly, thankful that she was endowed with Slayer strength.  Buffy slipped the small box out of her own pocket and into his without him noticing and smiled, thankful that she didn't have to explain giving it to him.

He didn't even complain when she started holding him a little too tightly.  As though she heard the silent thought she eased up the embrace but remained within his arms. 

"We'll miss you," he heard her whisper.

He smiled and stroked her hair gently.

"I'll miss all of you as well."

She sniffled and pulled back, trying to muster up the courage to watch him walk away from her.

"Uh…if I were to call you sometime…even if it's just to talk…you wouldn't mind, would you?" she asked.

He smiled properly at that and kissed her forehead.

"I think I'd be highly offended if you didn't."

She smiled and nodded, wiping away the tears from her eyes.  She bit her lower lip to keep herself from breaking into a bout of sobs.

Giles touched her cheek fondly, reminded of when he had first seen her after she had been brought back. 

"You'll do brilliantly Buffy.  I have every confidence in you."

She smiled and stood on her toes, pecking his cheek.  "I know you do.  Let's just hope that I can find some in me too."

He breathed out a sigh and picked up his carry on bag.

"Goodbye Giles."

"Goodbye."

It wasn't until he had turned the corner of the corridor leading to his plane that Buffy let the tears flow freely.  With a heavy heart she watched as the plane took off.

It took nearly two hours to walk back to her house.