Another chapter of this. I'm skipping far, far ahead. This one will be the first to end, of my three, by the way. I chose to leave a lot of stuff out that would have been chapters by themselves because I... can.
--
Six months ago.
That's when he'd fallen into that hole. And had the help of digging himself out. Yes, he was depressed. The reckless tool dragged him down and held him there. He couldn't breathe, eat, speak, function in general...
Without Abby.
And he still wasn't with her. But she was a friend. They were best friends. Again. It wasn't what he wanted, though; he was madly in love with her. However, she didn't know this. She thought once again they were on good terms. That's what he assumed, by the way she talked to him.
Then that one day hit him. He was stuck at another crossroads in his life. In a way, he'd made the best choice in his life, and the worst -
----
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," he said nonchalantly. He tossed a chart to the side. "What about?"
"Over lunch," she suggested.
"Yeah, okay," he said as they lead themselves to the lounge. Five minutes later, Carter and a silent Abby made their way across the street. Doc Magoo's. Where else?
"I need to ask a favor," she had said.
"Shoot," Carter threw, sipping a coffee. "Are you sure you aren't hungry?"
"Yes," she said urgently. "I really need to talk to you about something serious - "
"Go ahead," he said, still sipping with a smile. "All ears."
"I'm not kidding Carter," she said, pulling down the coffee. "I need your attention."
"Well," he said with a chuckle, setting the coffee aside, "you have two ears. Go."
She pulled in a deep breath and let it go. "I want a baby."
----
And that had been that. She said she wanted him to get her pregnant, but that he wasn't to have any part in the fathering process. He had tried to convince her that it wasn't the right idea. That she should have a rightful dad -
----
"Why not?"
"Because," he stuttered, "you want your baby to have a father."
"He'll have a father," she said. "Just not around."
"You're dad isn't around, Abby," he said. "You know how that feels."
"My baby will know who his dad is," she fought. "He'll know that his father is my best friend. He can be friends with his dad."
"That's not right," he pointed. "A baby deserves a family - "
"A family doesn't mean dad, mom, child," she said. "A family is just a home, for comfort."
He shook his head. "There's history here," he said. "We used to date."
"I thought that was behind us."
Carter looked down. He didn't want to go here. He wanted to believe that she was about as over him as he was her. But the fact was that he wasn't over her at all. Apparently, though, she was done with him. They would never be together again. And it hurt.
----
So he made the best choice he could think of. And now he was walking away from Doc Magoo's, pondering whether or not that decision was the right one.
He'd said yes.
But had he said yes because he wanted to help her, or because he wanted to have a baby with her? A child? Both ways were selfish on his part. It wasn't the sex he wanted with her, but the baby. The child between them. And even though she'd said the baby wouldn't be a big part of *his* life, he wanted it still.
He cursed himself. Maybe it hadn't been the right decision.
But he was still happy with it.
--
Six months ago.
That's when he'd fallen into that hole. And had the help of digging himself out. Yes, he was depressed. The reckless tool dragged him down and held him there. He couldn't breathe, eat, speak, function in general...
Without Abby.
And he still wasn't with her. But she was a friend. They were best friends. Again. It wasn't what he wanted, though; he was madly in love with her. However, she didn't know this. She thought once again they were on good terms. That's what he assumed, by the way she talked to him.
Then that one day hit him. He was stuck at another crossroads in his life. In a way, he'd made the best choice in his life, and the worst -
----
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," he said nonchalantly. He tossed a chart to the side. "What about?"
"Over lunch," she suggested.
"Yeah, okay," he said as they lead themselves to the lounge. Five minutes later, Carter and a silent Abby made their way across the street. Doc Magoo's. Where else?
"I need to ask a favor," she had said.
"Shoot," Carter threw, sipping a coffee. "Are you sure you aren't hungry?"
"Yes," she said urgently. "I really need to talk to you about something serious - "
"Go ahead," he said, still sipping with a smile. "All ears."
"I'm not kidding Carter," she said, pulling down the coffee. "I need your attention."
"Well," he said with a chuckle, setting the coffee aside, "you have two ears. Go."
She pulled in a deep breath and let it go. "I want a baby."
----
And that had been that. She said she wanted him to get her pregnant, but that he wasn't to have any part in the fathering process. He had tried to convince her that it wasn't the right idea. That she should have a rightful dad -
----
"Why not?"
"Because," he stuttered, "you want your baby to have a father."
"He'll have a father," she said. "Just not around."
"You're dad isn't around, Abby," he said. "You know how that feels."
"My baby will know who his dad is," she fought. "He'll know that his father is my best friend. He can be friends with his dad."
"That's not right," he pointed. "A baby deserves a family - "
"A family doesn't mean dad, mom, child," she said. "A family is just a home, for comfort."
He shook his head. "There's history here," he said. "We used to date."
"I thought that was behind us."
Carter looked down. He didn't want to go here. He wanted to believe that she was about as over him as he was her. But the fact was that he wasn't over her at all. Apparently, though, she was done with him. They would never be together again. And it hurt.
----
So he made the best choice he could think of. And now he was walking away from Doc Magoo's, pondering whether or not that decision was the right one.
He'd said yes.
But had he said yes because he wanted to help her, or because he wanted to have a baby with her? A child? Both ways were selfish on his part. It wasn't the sex he wanted with her, but the baby. The child between them. And even though she'd said the baby wouldn't be a big part of *his* life, he wanted it still.
He cursed himself. Maybe it hadn't been the right decision.
But he was still happy with it.