Love 'Ship
The story that more than likely will get me enough flames to out do hell.
Surprisingly enough it's the 4th in my Midnight Series.
Disclaimer: this is just wrong. I simply can't make money here, and I'd
be more than happy to say I don't own it.
By : Faber Wolffe
Okay, lets cut right to the chase on this one. It was summer vacation, and everyone in the magical world was frankly sick of dealing with the whole good vs. evil thing. Even Lord Voldemort wanted a break, and Dumbledore was to the point that he nearly gave Snape permission to poison Harry, just to have the annoying brat out of the way. Well, obviously, many characters (Hermione Granger for one) saw that most people would regret that decision later and suggested a two-week break from it all on a cruise. Everyone was invited, every Hogwarts, beaubatons, and durmstrang student, every teacher from those schools, all the death eaters, even Snape, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, all the Weasleys, Lord Voldemort, several Mary Sues, Fudge, and to everyone's shock, even the Dursleys came along. (it was a free cruise, you honestly think that Vernon would have passed that up?) Anyway though, at first it actually seemed to be working pretty darn well. But then people began to notice a few things, it was just little things at first. It really all started when the house elves began serving key lime pie with Sprite at dinner. Ron holding hands with Hermione. Harry watching a sunset with Ginny, and then a sunrise with Draco. A couple of obscene dog jokes between Remus and Sirius. Snape began to take a sudden interest in botany and rumor was that anyone who passed his room these days was struck not with the scent of potions but of lilys. Tom Riddle assumed his old name and looks and immediately made "friends" with some Mary Sues who had a thing for black, however they were prone to wander over to "Sevi's" room as well. However, things just got creepy after a while, just after the elves made the horrible mistake of serving malted lemonade with very little sugar at nearly every meal. Public displays of affection were so affectionate that several people were arrested for indecent exposure, even though they were in supposedly neutral territory. Also the public health clinic on the ship became quite a frequent hangout for all characters concerned. Only a few words are needed to sum up all that happened next. Dudley and Dumbledore showed up at the clinic. And all hell broke loose. Over was the game of musical beds. People were just terrified of what in merlin's beard they had been exposed too. Lover's tiffs sprung up everywhere. And then Faber frankly realized how incredibly wrong wrong wrong it was to even put Dudley into this and this fic just had to stop here. To make things short and sweet it was a nightmare, and all the characters woke up terrified, but none the worse for the wear, as I'm now sure I'm going to tonight.
THE END (::curls into fetal position:: its bad pictures in head over, bad pictures in head over.)
Moral: Ships can be wonderful things when the author takes the time to put some plot behind it. If all we wanted was porn we'd look at a porno site, not a fan-fic site. Oh. and Dudley should never ever be in a ship. but that's just me. Also. If you can believe this, I did have worse ideas and they were going to be quite detailed. be thankful to every deity ever worshiped that I had sense enough to edit this. I have a very, very sick mind.
Okay, lets cut right to the chase on this one. It was summer vacation, and everyone in the magical world was frankly sick of dealing with the whole good vs. evil thing. Even Lord Voldemort wanted a break, and Dumbledore was to the point that he nearly gave Snape permission to poison Harry, just to have the annoying brat out of the way. Well, obviously, many characters (Hermione Granger for one) saw that most people would regret that decision later and suggested a two-week break from it all on a cruise. Everyone was invited, every Hogwarts, beaubatons, and durmstrang student, every teacher from those schools, all the death eaters, even Snape, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, all the Weasleys, Lord Voldemort, several Mary Sues, Fudge, and to everyone's shock, even the Dursleys came along. (it was a free cruise, you honestly think that Vernon would have passed that up?) Anyway though, at first it actually seemed to be working pretty darn well. But then people began to notice a few things, it was just little things at first. It really all started when the house elves began serving key lime pie with Sprite at dinner. Ron holding hands with Hermione. Harry watching a sunset with Ginny, and then a sunrise with Draco. A couple of obscene dog jokes between Remus and Sirius. Snape began to take a sudden interest in botany and rumor was that anyone who passed his room these days was struck not with the scent of potions but of lilys. Tom Riddle assumed his old name and looks and immediately made "friends" with some Mary Sues who had a thing for black, however they were prone to wander over to "Sevi's" room as well. However, things just got creepy after a while, just after the elves made the horrible mistake of serving malted lemonade with very little sugar at nearly every meal. Public displays of affection were so affectionate that several people were arrested for indecent exposure, even though they were in supposedly neutral territory. Also the public health clinic on the ship became quite a frequent hangout for all characters concerned. Only a few words are needed to sum up all that happened next. Dudley and Dumbledore showed up at the clinic. And all hell broke loose. Over was the game of musical beds. People were just terrified of what in merlin's beard they had been exposed too. Lover's tiffs sprung up everywhere. And then Faber frankly realized how incredibly wrong wrong wrong it was to even put Dudley into this and this fic just had to stop here. To make things short and sweet it was a nightmare, and all the characters woke up terrified, but none the worse for the wear, as I'm now sure I'm going to tonight.
THE END (::curls into fetal position:: its bad pictures in head over, bad pictures in head over.)
Moral: Ships can be wonderful things when the author takes the time to put some plot behind it. If all we wanted was porn we'd look at a porno site, not a fan-fic site. Oh. and Dudley should never ever be in a ship. but that's just me. Also. If you can believe this, I did have worse ideas and they were going to be quite detailed. be thankful to every deity ever worshiped that I had sense enough to edit this. I have a very, very sick mind.