DISCLAIMER: FFIX and all its related characters, including Freya Crescent, are the property of Squaresoft.
I Was a Teenage Summoner
EXT. LINDBLUM CASTLE - EVENING
Establishing.
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - EVENING
EIKO is standing behind a small table. Some tea cups, plates and a tea pot have been placed onto the table. Eiko rubs her hands together.
EIKO
"The table is set, the tea is brewing. Now all I have to do is wait for my darling Zidane to arrive, and the fun can really begin!"
ZIDANE walks in.
EIKO
"Speak of the angel!"
ZIDANE
"Hi, Eiko!"
EIKO
"Hi, Zidane!"
DAGGER walks in.
DAGGER
"Hi, Eiko!"
EIKO
"Hi, Dagger! Dagger?!"
DAGGER
"I love what you've done with your room, Eiko. You've really got a Kathy Brunswick thing going on here."
EIKO
"Dagger? I-I know this may sound a little rude, but, uh, what are you doing here?"
DAGGER
"You invited me."
EIKO
"Uh, no, I invited Zidane. You didn't even figure into the equation."
DAGGER
"Zidane? You told me I was invited to Eiko's dinner party too."
ZIDANE
"You were. At least, that's the impression I got. You know, when Eiko said, "You're invited to my dinner party on Sunday evening," I just naturally assumed she meant the two of us. You... did mean the two of us, didn't you, Eiko?"
EIKO
"I..."
Eiko looks at Dagger. Dagger smiles sweetly.
EIKO
"...Oh, yes, the invite was meant for the both of you. Like... Like I'd only invite one of you! Hee hee! What kind of person would that make me? Hee hee!"
Dagger wanders off and feels the curtains.
DAGGER
"I love the fabric on these, Eiko. Where did you get them?"
EIKO
"Oh, um, Father bought those for me. I think he got them made especially."
DAGGER
"They're gorgeous. Aren't they gorgeous, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
(uninterested)
"Yeah, fabulous. Look, Eiko, you invited us over for dinner right, and, uh, I'm kinda hungry, so... when is dinner?"
EIKO
"Dinner is... now. Hee hee! Please, sit down."
ZIDANE
"...What? Here?"
EIKO
"Excuse me?"
ZIDANE
"I-I thought we'd be eating downstairs in the dinning room..."
EIKO
"Well..."
ZIDANE
"Don't tell me we're gonna be eating on this little kiddies table?"
DAGGER
"Oh, of course we're not, are we, Eiko?"
EIKO
"...Um, no, no. Obviously not. Like I'd expect you guys to dine here. I mean, we're not babies, are we? We're all grown ups here. We're going to eat in the dinning room... like adults would. Hee hee!"
DAGGER
"You see, Zidane? You shouldn't just jump to conclusions like that. This is Eiko's playset. Obviously we wouldn't be eating our meal on this. Now, honestly."
EIKO
"Yeah, um, could you guys excuse me for a second?"
Eiko leaves.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
REGENT CID, LADY HILDA and a few of their friends are sitting at the table. Eiko walks in.
CID
"...So then I said-"
EIKO
"Father! Father!"
The guests look quite shocked. Cid turns to Eiko, nervously.
CID
"Eiko, it is not polite to interrupt people when they're talking."
EIKO
"I know, and I'm really sorry, but, uh, could I have a quiet word?"
CID
"Well, not unless it's urgent..."
EIKO
"It's pretty darn urgent."
CID
"Well, all right then."
Cid turns to his guests.
CID
"Excuse me for a moment, please."
Cid gets up from the table and walks off with Eiko.
HILDA
"Sh-She's not our REAL daughter..."
CID
"Now what is this all about, Eiko?"
EIKO
"Would it be all right if you and your guests could maybe... oh, I dunno, go somewhere else tonight?"
CID
"What?!"
EIKO
"It's my friends, Father. They came over for dinner tonight and I want to give them a good time."
CID
"But I thought you were having your dinner party in your room."
EIKO
"There's been a change of plan."
CID
"I see..."
EIKO
"Come on, Father, I don't wanna be embarrassed infront of my friends. Please, please, please can I have my party down here?"
CID
"How can I say no to you? Oh, all right then. You and your friends can come down here."
EIKO
"Then where will you go?"
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - EVENING
Cid, Hilda and their guests are sitting at Eiko's small table. They are all quite squished together. Cid picks up the tea pot.
CID
"Ugh... More tea, anyone?"
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
Zidane and Dagger are sitting at the table. Eiko is standing behind Zidane.
ZIDANE
"Mmm... Great food, Eiko! This is what I call a dinner party!"
EIKO
"Thank you, Zidane. One does try one's best. More wine?
ZIDANE
"Please..."
Eiko pours some wine into Zidane's glass.
DAGGER
"I'd like another glass of wine, if it's all right, Eiko."
EIKO
"Oh, sure, sure. Help yourself."
Eiko gives Dagger the bottle. Eiko watches Zidane eat.
ZIDANE
"Yeah...?"
EIKO
"Nothing."
ZIDANE
"Right. Well, could you give me some time alone with the food, please?"
EIKO
"Oh, certainly!"
DAGGER
"I wouldn't mind a little company, Eiko. Come and talk to me."
EIKO
"Gee, I'd love to, Dagger, but... oh, I think dessert's ready. I'll be right back."
Eiko leaves.
DAGGER
"Eiko's acting a little strange tonight. I hope everything's okay."
ZIDANE
"Ugh... She's fine. Now, let me eat."
DAGGER
"I think I'll go and give Eiko a hand..."
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
Eiko is taking a cake out of the oven. She places it on the table and starts icing it.
EIKO
"Stupid Dagger... I didn't even invite her. Why the heck did she have to come along anyway? I'm never gonna get anywhere with Zidane with her hanging around!"
DAGGER (O.S)
"Hi, Eiko..."
EIKO
"Dagger?!"
Dagger is standing by the doorway. Eiko laughs nervously.
EIKO
"How long've you been standing there?"
DAGGER
"Not long."
EIKO
"Do you mean "not long" as in not long, or "not long" as in a few minutes and I heard everything you were just saying?"
DAGGER
"I mean "not long" as in not long."
Dagger walks up behind Eiko and puts her hand on her shoulder.
DAGGER
"Eiko, is something wrong? You seem... I don't know, not your usual self tonight. You're okay, right?"
EIKO
"I'm fine, yes. Don't worry about me. I'm as right as rain."
DAGGER
"Positive? I can tell if you're lying."
EIKO
"Why would I lie? Look, Dagger, I'm fine, I swear!"
DAGGER
"Well, okay then. Shall I take that through to the dinning room?"
EIKO
"No, it's all right, I can do it. You go back in and sit down."
DAGGER
"All right."
Dagger leaves. Eiko takes a deep breath, and then picks up the cake.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
Zidane is sitting back in his chair, with his hands behind his head. Dagger is sitting in her chair, staring at her half eaten plate of food. Eiko walks in with the cake, then waits quietly by the doorway.
ZIDANE
"Man, I'm beat! I don't think I've ever eaten anything as delicious as that! Eiko's a fantastic cook, huh? She's definitely got some serious skills in the kitchen!"
Eiko smiles.
DAGGER
"Yes, she is an excellent cook. And to think, she's less than half my age and she can cook so well. I can't even boil an egg properly."
ZIDANE
"What's the matter, Dagger? Jealous?"
DAGGER
"Of Eiko's cooking??"
ZIDANE
"..."
DAGGER
"All right, yes, a little. I just wish I could cook a meal like this for you."
ZIDANE
"Aw, don't be so hard on yourself, Dagger. So Eiko can cook, big deal. Quina can cook too, y'know. No, you have other talents. Things that Eiko could never do."
Eiko stops smiling.
ZIDANE
"Like... in the bedroom department, for example."
DAGGER
(coyly)
"Oh, Zidane!"
They both start giggling. Eiko begins to look upset.
ZIDANE
"C'mere, baby!"
Zidane reaches over to Dagger and pulls her closer to him. They then start kissing. Eiko frowns and walks back into the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
Eiko walks in and slams the cake down on the table. She frowns and grits her teeth.
EIKO
"Darn Dagger! I'll never be able to compare to her! No matter what I do, no matter what I say, I'll always play second fiddle to her and her... cuteness! When it comes down to it, cooking is never going to be a substitute for sexy looks and straight curves! I might aswell give up on this whole trying to steal Zidane away from her thing right now!"
She sits down on the kitchen floor, leaning against the cupboards.
EIKO
"All I want is to be loved by him. That's all I've ever wanted."
She sighs.
EIKO
"If only I was a little older. If only I had those sexy 16-year-old looks and straight 16-year-old curves. If only... If only he would at me the way he looks at her. And the way he looks at Ruby,... and Lani,... and Beatrix,... and Her Highness, Queen Brahne,... and everybody else over 14..."
She sighs again. A tear rolls down her cheek. She then gets up.
EIKO
"All right, Eiko. That's enough. It's time to pull yourself together. You have a dinner party to host, after all."
She picks up the cake off the table and walks off.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
Zidane and Dagger are walking towards the exit. Eiko walks in from the kitchen.
EIKO
"Hey! Wh-Where are you going?!"
DAGGER
"Oh, sorry, Eiko. When you didn't come back, Zidane and I just assumed the party was over."
ZIDANE
"Yeah, well, actually, I wanted to leave, anyways."
EIKO
"Don't go yet. We still have cake. Look, I made it myself."
ZIDANE
"Mmm... yourself. No, sorry, Eiko, we won't be swayed by cake. We're full to bursting as it is, without eating anything else. If it's all the same with you, we'll just say our goodbyes and be on our way home."
EIKO
"Are you sure?"
DAGGER
"Yes, it's been a long night."
EIKO
"You've only been here for half an hour!"
ZIDANE
"And it was one looong half hour. Eh, I'm just kidding, Eiko."
DAGGER
"But thank you so much for inviting us over, Eiko. You should come over to Alexandria one night. Zidane and I would love to return the favour and cook something special for you, too."
EIKO
(under her breath)
"Grrr...!"
DAGGER
"Good night, Eiko."
ZIDANE
"Yeah, see ya, shorty!"
They both leave.
EIKO
"Shorty? Shorty?! Who the heck does he think he's calling 'shorty'? Ooh, I'm so angry right about now!"
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - NIGHT
Cid is tucking Eiko into bed.
CID
"So, did you have a nice evening with your friends, Eiko?"
EIKO
"It was okay, I guess. I'm sorry I disrupted your dinner party, Father."
CID
"Oh, that's quite all right, Eiko. It spiced up the conversation at the dinner table, if nothing else. Our friends loved the fabric on your curtains."
Cid kisses her on the forehead.
CID
"Good night, sweetie."
EIKO
"Good night, Father."
Cid turns off the light and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Eiko closes her eyes. A bright light fills the room. Eiko opens her eyes. Her old friend MOG is floating infront of her.
EIKO
"M-Mog?! Is that you, old friend?!"
MOG
"Yes, kupo!"
EIKO
"Oh, my! It's been so long! I... wait a darn minute! Since when did you learn how to talk?!"
MOG
"It's amazing what you can do when you're dead, kupo!"
EIKO
"Dead?!"
MOG
"Eiko, I have been sent here by the gods tonight because you seem unhappy."
EIKO
"You've got that right, Mog. I'm very unhappy."
MOG
"I know, and that's why the gods have decided to grant you the one wish that will make you happier than anything in the world, kupo!"
EIKO
"R-Really?! You'd really do that for me?!"
MOG
"No. The gods would."
EIKO
"Wow! So, I can wish for anything I want, and it'll come true?!"
MOG
"Within reason. You couldn't, for example, wish to become to the ruler of the planet or... or to kill off every living creature in order to create a barren uninhabitable world of nothingness."
EIKO
"Well, no, obviously. That would be just plain crazy."
MOG
"Exactly, kupo!"
They both remain silent for a few minutes.
MOG
"Look, Eiko, I know this is a very big decision and all, but could you please hurry it up and make a wish? I have other places to be tonight. I'm having dinner with Princess Garnet's dead but extremely attractive natural mother in 20 minutes, kupo."
EIKO
"...Weren't you female, Mog??"
MOG
"The... The gods gave me a penis and a set of testicles..."
EIKO
"Ewww!"
MOG
"Come on! Come on! Wish!"
EIKO
"All right, I'm thinking, I'm thinking!"
An evil smile flashes across Eiko's face.
EIKO
"Oh, hang on, I'm not allowed to kill anyone, am I?"
MOG
"No."
EIKO
"All right, then in that case, I wish I was ten years older."
MOG
"Ten years older...?"
EIKO
"Not just ten years older, I also wish to be the girl of Zidane's dreams! I want to be a sexy 16-year-old super babe with a bust to die for!"
MOG
"Just a second, Eiko. I'm not sure if that counts as more than one wish. Give me a moment while I talk it over the almighty beings."
Mog looks up into the air.
MOG
"The wish clears. And now, by the power invested in me by the gods, I shall grant your request! Shazzam!"
A cloud of dust covers Eiko. The dust fades and Eiko finds that she has been transformed into a teenager. She's very pretty and has long purple hair down to her shoulders. Her breasts have developed nicely too. She gets out of bed and looks at herself in the mirror.
EIKO
(gasps with delight)
"Oh my gosh! I'm beautiful!"
MOG
(drooling with her tongue out)
"You sure are!"
EIKO
(angry)
"Mog!"
MOG
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You'd be amazed how hot a woman looks to the owner of a bunch of male reproductive organs, seriously."
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - THE NEXT MORNING
Eiko, still a teenager, rolls over in bed. She wakes up, gets out of bed and runs over to the mirror.
EIKO
(sighs with relief)
"Thank goodness! It wasn't a dream! I'm still gorgeous!"
The door knocks. Eiko gasps.
HILDA (O.S)
"Eiko, dear, breakfast is served!"
EIKO
"Oh, no! How in the heck am I going to explain my sudden growing up to Mother and Father?! I probably should've thought this through before I made that wish..."
HILDA (O.S)
"It's scrambled eggs, Eiko!"
EIKO
"Scrambled eggs?! Ooh! My favourite!"
She runs over to the door, opens it and rushes downstairs. Hilda is left standing by the doorway, gobsmacked.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING
Eiko is sitting at the table, eating her breakfast. Cid and Hilda are watching her, with their mouthes open in shock and confusion. Eiko finishes her food.
EIKO
"That was delicious, Mother. Hmm... I see you two haven't touched yours. Do you mind?"
Eiko reaches over and takes their plates. She begins to eat their breakfast.
HILDA
(nudging her husband)
"...Cid?"
CID
"Yes, right. Um, Eiko, darling?"
EIKO
"Yes, Father?"
CID
"Y-Your mother and I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have... uh, grown up a little, uh, a lot... since last night."
HILDA
"What in the world have you done to yourself?! We demand an explanation, young lady!"
CID
"Hilda!"
HILDA
"No, Cid, I'm sorry, but I refuse to pussyfoot around this! If Eiko's been getting breast implants and buttocks lifts, then I think we, as her parents, have a right to know!"
EIKO
"Relax, Mother. Relax, Father. I haven't been doing any of those things. I've just... grown up, that's all."
HILDA
"Six-year-old girls do not become sixteen-year-old girls overnight!"
CID
"I-I don't know, Hilda. Girls ARE maturing a lot quicker these days."
HILDA
"You are not helping, Cid!"
CID
"Sorry, dearest..."
EIKO
"All right, I suppose I should tell you the truth. The truth is, as hard as this is to believe, is that last night I was paid a visit by my deceased friend Mog, and she told me that the gods said I could have any wish I wanted, so I wished to be sixteen years old, so I could rival Dagger for Zidane's affections..."
HILDA
"That is the silliest thing I have ever heard... but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt as not to slow this story down any longer."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY
STEINER is standing by the front doors. Eiko walks up to him.
EIKO
"Hello, Captain Steiner! Lovely day, isn't it?"
STEINER
"Do I know you, madam?"
EIKO
"Madam? Hee hee! You're funny, Steiner!"
Eiko tries to walk past him.
EIKO
"Steiner? What's the deal here? Let me past, please!"
STEINER
"I don't just let anyone into the castle. And I especially don't let little brats like you in."
EIKO
"How dare you talk to me like that! I'm Eiko Carol, daughter of Regent Cid and Lady Hilda!"
STEINER
"And I'm the King of Alexandria!"
EIKO
"I'm serious, Steiner!"
STEINER
"Hmph! Miss Eiko is a fine well mannered child! You are nothing more than a loudmouth scruffy teenager! And I hate teenagers!"
EIKO
"Yeah, I know! You give Zidane a hard enough time as it is!"
STEINER
"You know that young scoundrel?! Hmph! That doesn't surprise me! The two of you are probably in cahoots!"
EIKO
"Agh!"
VIVI walks towards the front doors.
STEINER
"Ah, good morning, Master Vivi!"
VIVI
"H-Hi, Captain Steiner!"
EIKO
"Vivi! You've gotta help me! This idiot here won't let me in! Do something!"
VIVI
"...I-Idiot? Captain Steiner? I-I'd never have the nerve to call him that!"
STEINER
"Don't mind her, Master Vivi. She was just leaving."
EIKO
"No I was not!"
VIVI
(to Steiner)
"Wh-Who is she, anyway?"
EIKO
"Surely you know who I am, Vivi! I'm Eiko, Eiko Carol!"
VIVI
"You're not Eiko. Eiko is just a kid, like me. You're not a kid. You're a lady girl, like Princess Garnet."
EIKO
"I am too her! And I can prove it! Go on, ask me something only Eiko would know!"
STEINER
"I shall not participate in these mindless games. Go on in, Master Vivi. I'll take care of this little troublemaker."
VIVI
"Th-Thanks!"
Vivi walks into the castle. Steiner steps infront of Eiko, wielding his sword. She gulps and backs off.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
ZORN AND THORN walk past a window. Eiko climbs in through it and drops down to the floor.
EIKO
"Ow! That's the last time I climb through any windows!"
She gets up and cleans herself off.
EIKO
"But hey, at least I got into the castle. Now, time to find Zidane and seduce his brains out."
INT. DINNING ROOM - DAY
Zidane is sitting at the table, drinking from a jar of pickles. Eiko walks in.
ZIDANE
"Ah, man, that's good pickle juice!"
Eiko clears her throat. Zidane looks over. His eyes pop out of his head and he goes horizontal, like a cartoon character. Hearts float above his head.
ZIDANE
"Hellooo, baby!"
EIKO
"Oh, uh, hi."
Eiko sniggers to herself.
EIKO
(to herself)
"It's working! He's noticing me in THAT way!"
Zidane's leg stretches all the way to Eiko, and quickly pulls the rest of his body over to her, again, like in some cartoons. He pulls out a bunch of flowers from behind his back and gives them to her.
EIKO
"Thank you!"
ZIDANE
"I've never seen you around here before, baby!"
EIKO
"No, I, uh, I'm from out of town."
ZIDANE
"You're a total stunner, baby! I think I'm falling for you!"
EIKO
(giggles)
"Oh, really?"
ZIDANE
"Mmm... definitely."
Zidane takes her hand and kisses it. He then pulls her close and French kisses her. Vivi walks in.
VIVI
"Zidane?! Wh-What're you doing?!"
ZIDANE
"Vivi?! Get out of here! I'm busy!"
VIVI
"But that girl! She's not Princess Garnet!"
ZIDANE
"Well, duh!"
VIVI
"Zidane, I-I'm serious here! That girl is trouble! Y-You can't trust her!"
ZIDANE
"And why the hell not?"
VIVI
"Sh-She tried to pass herself off as Eiko earlier! Sh-She's a liar and a fraud!"
ZIDANE
(to Eiko)
"Is this true?!"
EIKO
"Well, yes and no. I AM Eiko, but-"
ZIDANE
"Get outta here! You're not Eiko!"
EIKO
"I am! Y'see, I made a wish last night to become a teenager and it came true, I swear! I'm not lying!"
DAGGER
(walks in)
"What's going on in here?"
Dagger looks at Eiko.
DAGGER
"Who are you?!"
EIKO
"Eiko!"
DAGGER
(shouting)
"Steiner!"
STEINER
(walks in)
"Yes, Princess?"
DAGGER
(pointing at Eiko)
"Please remove this lunatic from the castle!"
STEINER
"You again?! I thought I asked you to leave the premises!"
EIKO
"But I am Eiko! Oh, lord! Why doesn't anybody believe me?!"
DAGGER
"That does it. Throw her in the dungeons, Steiner!"
STEINER
"With immense pleasure, Princess!"
Steiner advances onto her. Eiko backs into a corner.
EIKO
"Oh, this is it. I'm done for. Unless..."
She thinks for a second.
EIKO
"...I didn't want to resort to this, but..."
Eiko summons MADEEN. It appears infront of Steiner and growls. Steiner backs off. Zidane, Vivi and Dagger all gasp.
ZIDANE
"Oh my God! She IS Eiko!"
VIVI
"Only Eiko could summon Madeen like that!"
Eiko banishes Madeen. Steiner kneels down before her.
STEINER
"Miss Eiko, I am so sorry I ever doubted you. Please accept my most humble apologies."
EIKO
"It's okay. I wouldn't have believed me either."
INT. DINNING ROOM - DAY
Everyone is sitting around the table.
DAGGER
"But... how? How did this happen?"
EIKO
"Like I said, I made a wish, and it came true."
DAGGER
"But why on earth would you want to be a teenager in the first place? Why the rush to bypass your childhood years?"
VIVI
"Y-Yeah. What was wrong with being a kid, Eiko?"
ZIDANE
"I think we all know why Eiko did this, people."
EIKO
"Y-You do?!"
ZIDANE
"Yes."
Zidane puts his hand on her's.
ZIDANE
"We all know that puberty can be a difficult time, especially for girls. What with the period pains and the bleeding and the yadda-yadda-yadda. You just wanted to skip through all that to avoid the unpleasantness that comes with it, huh?"
EIKO
"Uh, yeah, oh, yeah, of course. I mean, geez, everyone hates puberty."
ZIDANE
"Yes, that's right. They do."
Zidane stares at Vivi.
ZIDANE
"Do black mages go through any of that stuff?"
VIVI
"I'm hoping I'll be dead before then."
DAGGER
"What did Uncle Cid and Aunt Hilda have to say about this?"
EIKO
"They were very supportive of me. And, I want you guys to be too."
DAGGER
"I don't think I can..."
ZIDANE
"Dagger?!"
VIVI
"M-Me neither. I think we have enough teenagers around here, without you adding to them."
EIKO
"Zidane? How about you? What do you have to say about this?"
ZIDANE
"I..."
DAGGER
"Zidane agrees with us."
EIKO
"Excuse me, Dagger, but I believe I was talking to Zidane, not you."
DAGGER
"Zidane wants the old Eiko back too. Isn't that right, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
"Uh..."
DAGGER
"Zidane!"
EIKO
"Don't yell at him!"
DAGGER
"Look, Eiko, I don't want to fight here. Just, please, find a way to turn yourself back to normal, so we can all get on with our lives."
EIKO
"Zidane? Who do you prefer? The old Eiko..."
She shakes her booty.
EIKO
(continued)
"...or the new Eiko?"
DAGGER
"He prefered the old one!"
EIKO
"Well I disagree!"
DAGGER
"Based on what?!"
EIKO
"Based on the way he almost choked me to death with his tongue earlier!"
DAGGER
"...What?!"
EIKO
"That's right, Dagger! When he first laid eyes on me in this form, Zidane could hardly keep his hands off me! Isn't that right, Zidane?!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I..."
DAGGER
"Is this true, Zidane?!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I..."
EIKO
"It's okay, Zidane. Tell her. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get out of this dump and have some fun."
ZIDANE
"I... oh, it's true, Dagger. It's true! I did make advances onto Eiko!"
DAGGER
"Zidane!"
STEINER
"You little...!"
ZIDANE
"I couldn't help myself. She's just so... sexy. I'm sorry, babe, I really am."
DAGGER
"Well that tears it! If you want Eiko that much, then take her!"
ZIDANE
"What are you saying, babe?"
DAGGER
"We're finished!"
Dagger runs off, crying.
STEINER
(to Zidane)
"Are you happy now?!"
Steiner runs off after Dagger. Vivi shakes his head in disgust and follows.
EIKO
"..."
ZIDANE
"..."
EIKO
"...What have I done?"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - AFTERNOON
Zidane and Eiko are walking through the streets.
EIKO
"I'm sorry Dagger dumped you, Zidane, I really am. I never meant for any of this to happen."
ZIDANE
"Don't worry about it, Eiko. Dagger's dumped me before, but we always manage to patch things up eventually. I take it as a sign that we were... destined to be together. But that doesn't stop me liking other girls. Man, I hate my weakness."
EIKO
"I should never have made that wish in the first place. Not only have I ruined yours and Dagger's relationship, I've also ruined her's and my friendship. I only did it 'cause... well, you know."
ZIDANE
"Yeah..."
EIKO
"I-I've got to put things right again. I have to apologise to Dagger, get our friendship back on track, and get you two back together again, like fate intended."
ZIDANE
"That's sweet of you, Eiko, but I don't think that's gonna happen. For a start, we'd have to get back into the castle, and what with Rusty and Beatrix on patrol, that's gonna be no mean feat. Nah, I think we should just give Dagger a couple of days to calm down, and then apologise."
EIKO
"Perhaps you're right."
They continue to walk down the street.
EIKO
"So, where do you think you'll go from here?"
ZIDANE
"Back to Lindblum, I guess. Hopefully the guys from Tantalus'll let me crash at the ol' hideout for a few nights."
EIKO
"I-I'd offer to let you stay at the castle, but..."
ZIDANE
"Yeah, that would be a little awkward..."
They reach the bottom of Main Street.
ZIDANE
"We should probably not go back to Lindblum together, either. We don't want to give people the impression we left as a couple."
EIKO
"Oh, hmm, of course."
ZIDANE
"It's okay, Eiko. You go first, I'll just, uh, hang around here for a while."
EIKO
"You sure?"
ZIDANE
"Yeah. You go on ahead."
EIKO
"Thanks, Zidane."
They hug. They then look into each others eyes. And kiss.
EXT. LINDBLUM CASTLE - NEXT MORNING
Establishing.
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - MORNING
Eiko is fast asleep in her bed. Zidane is laying beside her. He opens his eyes, sits up, and looks across.
ZIDANE
"Oh my God! Oh, no! How could I?!"
EIKO
(wakes up)
"Zidane? Zidane! Calm down!"
ZIDANE
"Calm down! Calm down?! I slept with my girlfriend's best friend!"
EIKO
"No, you didn't!"
ZIDANE
"Huh?!"
EIKO
"Dagger isn't your girlfriend anymore. You split up, remember?"
ZIDANE
"But you... and me! We knocked boots!"
EIKO
"Shh! We did no such thing!"
ZIDANE
"Excuse me?!"
EIKO
"After that little... romantic moment yesterday in Alexandria, we came back here to Lindblum Castle to talk... Things went on for a little longer than expected, and you ended up falling asleep in my bed."
ZIDANE
"And you just thought you'd climb in with me?!"
EIKO
"Well where the heck was I supposed to sleep?! On the floor?!"
ZIDANE
"You could've put me in the Guest Room, surely..."
Mog appears infront of them.
ZIDANE
"Agh! A ghost!"
EIKO
"Mog?! What're you doing back here?!"
MOG
(out of breath)
"Eiko! Thank goodness, kupo!"
EIKO
"What's wrong?"
MOG
"It seems certain complications have arisen. I'm sorry to break this to you, but it looks like I wasn't entitled to grant that wish for you, after all."
EIKO
"What?"
MOG
"The gods have been on my back all night. They've talked it over with their gods, and apparently the wish you made a few days ago was... well, not acceptable. It turns out it really does count as three wishes, rather than one, kupo. And like I said, I was only supposed to grant you one wish."
EIKO
"Oh, I see..."
ZIDANE
"What the hell is going on here?"
EIKO
"Zidane, this is Mog. She was the one responsible for turning me into a teenager."
MOG
"Yes, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel your wish, Eiko. Hey, it's the gods' doing, not mine."
EIKO
"Really?! You mean I'm going to be a 6-year-old again!?"
MOG
"Yeah, like I said, I'm really sorry..."
EIKO
"No, Mog, it's fine! I want to be turned back into a kid!"
MOG
"You do?"
EIKO
"Yeah. I mean, life as a teenager was fun for a while, but after the novelty worn off, it just ended up bringing too many problems with it."
MOG
"All right then, here goes! Shazzam!"
A cloud of dust covers Eiko. The dust fades and Eiko finds that she has turned back to her old self. She pulls out a mirror and looks at herself.
EIKO
"Ah, that's better!"
Zidane sighs.
EIKO
(to herself)
"Oh, I forgot all about Zidane and his problem..."
Eiko looks towards Mog.
EIKO
"Mog? Could you do me one last favour before you go?"
MOG
"As long as you don't want me to scare anyone. I hate doing that, kupo."
EIKO
"No. Could you use your spiritual powers to bring Zidane and Dagger back together again?"
ZIDANE
(smiling)
"Yeah! Please!"
MOG
"What do I look like, a genie?!"
Zidane looks upset.
MOG
"Ah, fine!"
ZIDANE
"Hurray!"
MOG
"Geez, I'm such a soft touch, kupo!"
A cloud of dust covers the bed. The dust fades and Dagger is sitting inbetween Zidane and Eiko.
DAGGER
"Zidane? Eiko?"
EIKO
"Hee hee!"
ZIDANE
"Uh, hi, Dagger!"
DAGGER
"Could someone explain just what in the world is going on here?"
MOG
"Yeesh! I've done my bit, kupo! I'm outta here!"
Mog disappears. Zidane, Dagger and Eiko look awkwardly at each other. Zidane and Eiko smile nervously.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Was a Teenage Summoner
EXT. LINDBLUM CASTLE - EVENING
Establishing.
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - EVENING
EIKO is standing behind a small table. Some tea cups, plates and a tea pot have been placed onto the table. Eiko rubs her hands together.
EIKO
"The table is set, the tea is brewing. Now all I have to do is wait for my darling Zidane to arrive, and the fun can really begin!"
ZIDANE walks in.
EIKO
"Speak of the angel!"
ZIDANE
"Hi, Eiko!"
EIKO
"Hi, Zidane!"
DAGGER walks in.
DAGGER
"Hi, Eiko!"
EIKO
"Hi, Dagger! Dagger?!"
DAGGER
"I love what you've done with your room, Eiko. You've really got a Kathy Brunswick thing going on here."
EIKO
"Dagger? I-I know this may sound a little rude, but, uh, what are you doing here?"
DAGGER
"You invited me."
EIKO
"Uh, no, I invited Zidane. You didn't even figure into the equation."
DAGGER
"Zidane? You told me I was invited to Eiko's dinner party too."
ZIDANE
"You were. At least, that's the impression I got. You know, when Eiko said, "You're invited to my dinner party on Sunday evening," I just naturally assumed she meant the two of us. You... did mean the two of us, didn't you, Eiko?"
EIKO
"I..."
Eiko looks at Dagger. Dagger smiles sweetly.
EIKO
"...Oh, yes, the invite was meant for the both of you. Like... Like I'd only invite one of you! Hee hee! What kind of person would that make me? Hee hee!"
Dagger wanders off and feels the curtains.
DAGGER
"I love the fabric on these, Eiko. Where did you get them?"
EIKO
"Oh, um, Father bought those for me. I think he got them made especially."
DAGGER
"They're gorgeous. Aren't they gorgeous, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
(uninterested)
"Yeah, fabulous. Look, Eiko, you invited us over for dinner right, and, uh, I'm kinda hungry, so... when is dinner?"
EIKO
"Dinner is... now. Hee hee! Please, sit down."
ZIDANE
"...What? Here?"
EIKO
"Excuse me?"
ZIDANE
"I-I thought we'd be eating downstairs in the dinning room..."
EIKO
"Well..."
ZIDANE
"Don't tell me we're gonna be eating on this little kiddies table?"
DAGGER
"Oh, of course we're not, are we, Eiko?"
EIKO
"...Um, no, no. Obviously not. Like I'd expect you guys to dine here. I mean, we're not babies, are we? We're all grown ups here. We're going to eat in the dinning room... like adults would. Hee hee!"
DAGGER
"You see, Zidane? You shouldn't just jump to conclusions like that. This is Eiko's playset. Obviously we wouldn't be eating our meal on this. Now, honestly."
EIKO
"Yeah, um, could you guys excuse me for a second?"
Eiko leaves.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
REGENT CID, LADY HILDA and a few of their friends are sitting at the table. Eiko walks in.
CID
"...So then I said-"
EIKO
"Father! Father!"
The guests look quite shocked. Cid turns to Eiko, nervously.
CID
"Eiko, it is not polite to interrupt people when they're talking."
EIKO
"I know, and I'm really sorry, but, uh, could I have a quiet word?"
CID
"Well, not unless it's urgent..."
EIKO
"It's pretty darn urgent."
CID
"Well, all right then."
Cid turns to his guests.
CID
"Excuse me for a moment, please."
Cid gets up from the table and walks off with Eiko.
HILDA
"Sh-She's not our REAL daughter..."
CID
"Now what is this all about, Eiko?"
EIKO
"Would it be all right if you and your guests could maybe... oh, I dunno, go somewhere else tonight?"
CID
"What?!"
EIKO
"It's my friends, Father. They came over for dinner tonight and I want to give them a good time."
CID
"But I thought you were having your dinner party in your room."
EIKO
"There's been a change of plan."
CID
"I see..."
EIKO
"Come on, Father, I don't wanna be embarrassed infront of my friends. Please, please, please can I have my party down here?"
CID
"How can I say no to you? Oh, all right then. You and your friends can come down here."
EIKO
"Then where will you go?"
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - EVENING
Cid, Hilda and their guests are sitting at Eiko's small table. They are all quite squished together. Cid picks up the tea pot.
CID
"Ugh... More tea, anyone?"
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
Zidane and Dagger are sitting at the table. Eiko is standing behind Zidane.
ZIDANE
"Mmm... Great food, Eiko! This is what I call a dinner party!"
EIKO
"Thank you, Zidane. One does try one's best. More wine?
ZIDANE
"Please..."
Eiko pours some wine into Zidane's glass.
DAGGER
"I'd like another glass of wine, if it's all right, Eiko."
EIKO
"Oh, sure, sure. Help yourself."
Eiko gives Dagger the bottle. Eiko watches Zidane eat.
ZIDANE
"Yeah...?"
EIKO
"Nothing."
ZIDANE
"Right. Well, could you give me some time alone with the food, please?"
EIKO
"Oh, certainly!"
DAGGER
"I wouldn't mind a little company, Eiko. Come and talk to me."
EIKO
"Gee, I'd love to, Dagger, but... oh, I think dessert's ready. I'll be right back."
Eiko leaves.
DAGGER
"Eiko's acting a little strange tonight. I hope everything's okay."
ZIDANE
"Ugh... She's fine. Now, let me eat."
DAGGER
"I think I'll go and give Eiko a hand..."
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
Eiko is taking a cake out of the oven. She places it on the table and starts icing it.
EIKO
"Stupid Dagger... I didn't even invite her. Why the heck did she have to come along anyway? I'm never gonna get anywhere with Zidane with her hanging around!"
DAGGER (O.S)
"Hi, Eiko..."
EIKO
"Dagger?!"
Dagger is standing by the doorway. Eiko laughs nervously.
EIKO
"How long've you been standing there?"
DAGGER
"Not long."
EIKO
"Do you mean "not long" as in not long, or "not long" as in a few minutes and I heard everything you were just saying?"
DAGGER
"I mean "not long" as in not long."
Dagger walks up behind Eiko and puts her hand on her shoulder.
DAGGER
"Eiko, is something wrong? You seem... I don't know, not your usual self tonight. You're okay, right?"
EIKO
"I'm fine, yes. Don't worry about me. I'm as right as rain."
DAGGER
"Positive? I can tell if you're lying."
EIKO
"Why would I lie? Look, Dagger, I'm fine, I swear!"
DAGGER
"Well, okay then. Shall I take that through to the dinning room?"
EIKO
"No, it's all right, I can do it. You go back in and sit down."
DAGGER
"All right."
Dagger leaves. Eiko takes a deep breath, and then picks up the cake.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
Zidane is sitting back in his chair, with his hands behind his head. Dagger is sitting in her chair, staring at her half eaten plate of food. Eiko walks in with the cake, then waits quietly by the doorway.
ZIDANE
"Man, I'm beat! I don't think I've ever eaten anything as delicious as that! Eiko's a fantastic cook, huh? She's definitely got some serious skills in the kitchen!"
Eiko smiles.
DAGGER
"Yes, she is an excellent cook. And to think, she's less than half my age and she can cook so well. I can't even boil an egg properly."
ZIDANE
"What's the matter, Dagger? Jealous?"
DAGGER
"Of Eiko's cooking??"
ZIDANE
"..."
DAGGER
"All right, yes, a little. I just wish I could cook a meal like this for you."
ZIDANE
"Aw, don't be so hard on yourself, Dagger. So Eiko can cook, big deal. Quina can cook too, y'know. No, you have other talents. Things that Eiko could never do."
Eiko stops smiling.
ZIDANE
"Like... in the bedroom department, for example."
DAGGER
(coyly)
"Oh, Zidane!"
They both start giggling. Eiko begins to look upset.
ZIDANE
"C'mere, baby!"
Zidane reaches over to Dagger and pulls her closer to him. They then start kissing. Eiko frowns and walks back into the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
Eiko walks in and slams the cake down on the table. She frowns and grits her teeth.
EIKO
"Darn Dagger! I'll never be able to compare to her! No matter what I do, no matter what I say, I'll always play second fiddle to her and her... cuteness! When it comes down to it, cooking is never going to be a substitute for sexy looks and straight curves! I might aswell give up on this whole trying to steal Zidane away from her thing right now!"
She sits down on the kitchen floor, leaning against the cupboards.
EIKO
"All I want is to be loved by him. That's all I've ever wanted."
She sighs.
EIKO
"If only I was a little older. If only I had those sexy 16-year-old looks and straight 16-year-old curves. If only... If only he would at me the way he looks at her. And the way he looks at Ruby,... and Lani,... and Beatrix,... and Her Highness, Queen Brahne,... and everybody else over 14..."
She sighs again. A tear rolls down her cheek. She then gets up.
EIKO
"All right, Eiko. That's enough. It's time to pull yourself together. You have a dinner party to host, after all."
She picks up the cake off the table and walks off.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - EVENING
Zidane and Dagger are walking towards the exit. Eiko walks in from the kitchen.
EIKO
"Hey! Wh-Where are you going?!"
DAGGER
"Oh, sorry, Eiko. When you didn't come back, Zidane and I just assumed the party was over."
ZIDANE
"Yeah, well, actually, I wanted to leave, anyways."
EIKO
"Don't go yet. We still have cake. Look, I made it myself."
ZIDANE
"Mmm... yourself. No, sorry, Eiko, we won't be swayed by cake. We're full to bursting as it is, without eating anything else. If it's all the same with you, we'll just say our goodbyes and be on our way home."
EIKO
"Are you sure?"
DAGGER
"Yes, it's been a long night."
EIKO
"You've only been here for half an hour!"
ZIDANE
"And it was one looong half hour. Eh, I'm just kidding, Eiko."
DAGGER
"But thank you so much for inviting us over, Eiko. You should come over to Alexandria one night. Zidane and I would love to return the favour and cook something special for you, too."
EIKO
(under her breath)
"Grrr...!"
DAGGER
"Good night, Eiko."
ZIDANE
"Yeah, see ya, shorty!"
They both leave.
EIKO
"Shorty? Shorty?! Who the heck does he think he's calling 'shorty'? Ooh, I'm so angry right about now!"
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - NIGHT
Cid is tucking Eiko into bed.
CID
"So, did you have a nice evening with your friends, Eiko?"
EIKO
"It was okay, I guess. I'm sorry I disrupted your dinner party, Father."
CID
"Oh, that's quite all right, Eiko. It spiced up the conversation at the dinner table, if nothing else. Our friends loved the fabric on your curtains."
Cid kisses her on the forehead.
CID
"Good night, sweetie."
EIKO
"Good night, Father."
Cid turns off the light and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Eiko closes her eyes. A bright light fills the room. Eiko opens her eyes. Her old friend MOG is floating infront of her.
EIKO
"M-Mog?! Is that you, old friend?!"
MOG
"Yes, kupo!"
EIKO
"Oh, my! It's been so long! I... wait a darn minute! Since when did you learn how to talk?!"
MOG
"It's amazing what you can do when you're dead, kupo!"
EIKO
"Dead?!"
MOG
"Eiko, I have been sent here by the gods tonight because you seem unhappy."
EIKO
"You've got that right, Mog. I'm very unhappy."
MOG
"I know, and that's why the gods have decided to grant you the one wish that will make you happier than anything in the world, kupo!"
EIKO
"R-Really?! You'd really do that for me?!"
MOG
"No. The gods would."
EIKO
"Wow! So, I can wish for anything I want, and it'll come true?!"
MOG
"Within reason. You couldn't, for example, wish to become to the ruler of the planet or... or to kill off every living creature in order to create a barren uninhabitable world of nothingness."
EIKO
"Well, no, obviously. That would be just plain crazy."
MOG
"Exactly, kupo!"
They both remain silent for a few minutes.
MOG
"Look, Eiko, I know this is a very big decision and all, but could you please hurry it up and make a wish? I have other places to be tonight. I'm having dinner with Princess Garnet's dead but extremely attractive natural mother in 20 minutes, kupo."
EIKO
"...Weren't you female, Mog??"
MOG
"The... The gods gave me a penis and a set of testicles..."
EIKO
"Ewww!"
MOG
"Come on! Come on! Wish!"
EIKO
"All right, I'm thinking, I'm thinking!"
An evil smile flashes across Eiko's face.
EIKO
"Oh, hang on, I'm not allowed to kill anyone, am I?"
MOG
"No."
EIKO
"All right, then in that case, I wish I was ten years older."
MOG
"Ten years older...?"
EIKO
"Not just ten years older, I also wish to be the girl of Zidane's dreams! I want to be a sexy 16-year-old super babe with a bust to die for!"
MOG
"Just a second, Eiko. I'm not sure if that counts as more than one wish. Give me a moment while I talk it over the almighty beings."
Mog looks up into the air.
MOG
"The wish clears. And now, by the power invested in me by the gods, I shall grant your request! Shazzam!"
A cloud of dust covers Eiko. The dust fades and Eiko finds that she has been transformed into a teenager. She's very pretty and has long purple hair down to her shoulders. Her breasts have developed nicely too. She gets out of bed and looks at herself in the mirror.
EIKO
(gasps with delight)
"Oh my gosh! I'm beautiful!"
MOG
(drooling with her tongue out)
"You sure are!"
EIKO
(angry)
"Mog!"
MOG
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You'd be amazed how hot a woman looks to the owner of a bunch of male reproductive organs, seriously."
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - THE NEXT MORNING
Eiko, still a teenager, rolls over in bed. She wakes up, gets out of bed and runs over to the mirror.
EIKO
(sighs with relief)
"Thank goodness! It wasn't a dream! I'm still gorgeous!"
The door knocks. Eiko gasps.
HILDA (O.S)
"Eiko, dear, breakfast is served!"
EIKO
"Oh, no! How in the heck am I going to explain my sudden growing up to Mother and Father?! I probably should've thought this through before I made that wish..."
HILDA (O.S)
"It's scrambled eggs, Eiko!"
EIKO
"Scrambled eggs?! Ooh! My favourite!"
She runs over to the door, opens it and rushes downstairs. Hilda is left standing by the doorway, gobsmacked.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING
Eiko is sitting at the table, eating her breakfast. Cid and Hilda are watching her, with their mouthes open in shock and confusion. Eiko finishes her food.
EIKO
"That was delicious, Mother. Hmm... I see you two haven't touched yours. Do you mind?"
Eiko reaches over and takes their plates. She begins to eat their breakfast.
HILDA
(nudging her husband)
"...Cid?"
CID
"Yes, right. Um, Eiko, darling?"
EIKO
"Yes, Father?"
CID
"Y-Your mother and I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have... uh, grown up a little, uh, a lot... since last night."
HILDA
"What in the world have you done to yourself?! We demand an explanation, young lady!"
CID
"Hilda!"
HILDA
"No, Cid, I'm sorry, but I refuse to pussyfoot around this! If Eiko's been getting breast implants and buttocks lifts, then I think we, as her parents, have a right to know!"
EIKO
"Relax, Mother. Relax, Father. I haven't been doing any of those things. I've just... grown up, that's all."
HILDA
"Six-year-old girls do not become sixteen-year-old girls overnight!"
CID
"I-I don't know, Hilda. Girls ARE maturing a lot quicker these days."
HILDA
"You are not helping, Cid!"
CID
"Sorry, dearest..."
EIKO
"All right, I suppose I should tell you the truth. The truth is, as hard as this is to believe, is that last night I was paid a visit by my deceased friend Mog, and she told me that the gods said I could have any wish I wanted, so I wished to be sixteen years old, so I could rival Dagger for Zidane's affections..."
HILDA
"That is the silliest thing I have ever heard... but I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt as not to slow this story down any longer."
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY
STEINER is standing by the front doors. Eiko walks up to him.
EIKO
"Hello, Captain Steiner! Lovely day, isn't it?"
STEINER
"Do I know you, madam?"
EIKO
"Madam? Hee hee! You're funny, Steiner!"
Eiko tries to walk past him.
EIKO
"Steiner? What's the deal here? Let me past, please!"
STEINER
"I don't just let anyone into the castle. And I especially don't let little brats like you in."
EIKO
"How dare you talk to me like that! I'm Eiko Carol, daughter of Regent Cid and Lady Hilda!"
STEINER
"And I'm the King of Alexandria!"
EIKO
"I'm serious, Steiner!"
STEINER
"Hmph! Miss Eiko is a fine well mannered child! You are nothing more than a loudmouth scruffy teenager! And I hate teenagers!"
EIKO
"Yeah, I know! You give Zidane a hard enough time as it is!"
STEINER
"You know that young scoundrel?! Hmph! That doesn't surprise me! The two of you are probably in cahoots!"
EIKO
"Agh!"
VIVI walks towards the front doors.
STEINER
"Ah, good morning, Master Vivi!"
VIVI
"H-Hi, Captain Steiner!"
EIKO
"Vivi! You've gotta help me! This idiot here won't let me in! Do something!"
VIVI
"...I-Idiot? Captain Steiner? I-I'd never have the nerve to call him that!"
STEINER
"Don't mind her, Master Vivi. She was just leaving."
EIKO
"No I was not!"
VIVI
(to Steiner)
"Wh-Who is she, anyway?"
EIKO
"Surely you know who I am, Vivi! I'm Eiko, Eiko Carol!"
VIVI
"You're not Eiko. Eiko is just a kid, like me. You're not a kid. You're a lady girl, like Princess Garnet."
EIKO
"I am too her! And I can prove it! Go on, ask me something only Eiko would know!"
STEINER
"I shall not participate in these mindless games. Go on in, Master Vivi. I'll take care of this little troublemaker."
VIVI
"Th-Thanks!"
Vivi walks into the castle. Steiner steps infront of Eiko, wielding his sword. She gulps and backs off.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
ZORN AND THORN walk past a window. Eiko climbs in through it and drops down to the floor.
EIKO
"Ow! That's the last time I climb through any windows!"
She gets up and cleans herself off.
EIKO
"But hey, at least I got into the castle. Now, time to find Zidane and seduce his brains out."
INT. DINNING ROOM - DAY
Zidane is sitting at the table, drinking from a jar of pickles. Eiko walks in.
ZIDANE
"Ah, man, that's good pickle juice!"
Eiko clears her throat. Zidane looks over. His eyes pop out of his head and he goes horizontal, like a cartoon character. Hearts float above his head.
ZIDANE
"Hellooo, baby!"
EIKO
"Oh, uh, hi."
Eiko sniggers to herself.
EIKO
(to herself)
"It's working! He's noticing me in THAT way!"
Zidane's leg stretches all the way to Eiko, and quickly pulls the rest of his body over to her, again, like in some cartoons. He pulls out a bunch of flowers from behind his back and gives them to her.
EIKO
"Thank you!"
ZIDANE
"I've never seen you around here before, baby!"
EIKO
"No, I, uh, I'm from out of town."
ZIDANE
"You're a total stunner, baby! I think I'm falling for you!"
EIKO
(giggles)
"Oh, really?"
ZIDANE
"Mmm... definitely."
Zidane takes her hand and kisses it. He then pulls her close and French kisses her. Vivi walks in.
VIVI
"Zidane?! Wh-What're you doing?!"
ZIDANE
"Vivi?! Get out of here! I'm busy!"
VIVI
"But that girl! She's not Princess Garnet!"
ZIDANE
"Well, duh!"
VIVI
"Zidane, I-I'm serious here! That girl is trouble! Y-You can't trust her!"
ZIDANE
"And why the hell not?"
VIVI
"Sh-She tried to pass herself off as Eiko earlier! Sh-She's a liar and a fraud!"
ZIDANE
(to Eiko)
"Is this true?!"
EIKO
"Well, yes and no. I AM Eiko, but-"
ZIDANE
"Get outta here! You're not Eiko!"
EIKO
"I am! Y'see, I made a wish last night to become a teenager and it came true, I swear! I'm not lying!"
DAGGER
(walks in)
"What's going on in here?"
Dagger looks at Eiko.
DAGGER
"Who are you?!"
EIKO
"Eiko!"
DAGGER
(shouting)
"Steiner!"
STEINER
(walks in)
"Yes, Princess?"
DAGGER
(pointing at Eiko)
"Please remove this lunatic from the castle!"
STEINER
"You again?! I thought I asked you to leave the premises!"
EIKO
"But I am Eiko! Oh, lord! Why doesn't anybody believe me?!"
DAGGER
"That does it. Throw her in the dungeons, Steiner!"
STEINER
"With immense pleasure, Princess!"
Steiner advances onto her. Eiko backs into a corner.
EIKO
"Oh, this is it. I'm done for. Unless..."
She thinks for a second.
EIKO
"...I didn't want to resort to this, but..."
Eiko summons MADEEN. It appears infront of Steiner and growls. Steiner backs off. Zidane, Vivi and Dagger all gasp.
ZIDANE
"Oh my God! She IS Eiko!"
VIVI
"Only Eiko could summon Madeen like that!"
Eiko banishes Madeen. Steiner kneels down before her.
STEINER
"Miss Eiko, I am so sorry I ever doubted you. Please accept my most humble apologies."
EIKO
"It's okay. I wouldn't have believed me either."
INT. DINNING ROOM - DAY
Everyone is sitting around the table.
DAGGER
"But... how? How did this happen?"
EIKO
"Like I said, I made a wish, and it came true."
DAGGER
"But why on earth would you want to be a teenager in the first place? Why the rush to bypass your childhood years?"
VIVI
"Y-Yeah. What was wrong with being a kid, Eiko?"
ZIDANE
"I think we all know why Eiko did this, people."
EIKO
"Y-You do?!"
ZIDANE
"Yes."
Zidane puts his hand on her's.
ZIDANE
"We all know that puberty can be a difficult time, especially for girls. What with the period pains and the bleeding and the yadda-yadda-yadda. You just wanted to skip through all that to avoid the unpleasantness that comes with it, huh?"
EIKO
"Uh, yeah, oh, yeah, of course. I mean, geez, everyone hates puberty."
ZIDANE
"Yes, that's right. They do."
Zidane stares at Vivi.
ZIDANE
"Do black mages go through any of that stuff?"
VIVI
"I'm hoping I'll be dead before then."
DAGGER
"What did Uncle Cid and Aunt Hilda have to say about this?"
EIKO
"They were very supportive of me. And, I want you guys to be too."
DAGGER
"I don't think I can..."
ZIDANE
"Dagger?!"
VIVI
"M-Me neither. I think we have enough teenagers around here, without you adding to them."
EIKO
"Zidane? How about you? What do you have to say about this?"
ZIDANE
"I..."
DAGGER
"Zidane agrees with us."
EIKO
"Excuse me, Dagger, but I believe I was talking to Zidane, not you."
DAGGER
"Zidane wants the old Eiko back too. Isn't that right, Zidane?"
ZIDANE
"Uh..."
DAGGER
"Zidane!"
EIKO
"Don't yell at him!"
DAGGER
"Look, Eiko, I don't want to fight here. Just, please, find a way to turn yourself back to normal, so we can all get on with our lives."
EIKO
"Zidane? Who do you prefer? The old Eiko..."
She shakes her booty.
EIKO
(continued)
"...or the new Eiko?"
DAGGER
"He prefered the old one!"
EIKO
"Well I disagree!"
DAGGER
"Based on what?!"
EIKO
"Based on the way he almost choked me to death with his tongue earlier!"
DAGGER
"...What?!"
EIKO
"That's right, Dagger! When he first laid eyes on me in this form, Zidane could hardly keep his hands off me! Isn't that right, Zidane?!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I..."
DAGGER
"Is this true, Zidane?!"
ZIDANE
"Well, I..."
EIKO
"It's okay, Zidane. Tell her. The sooner you do that, the sooner we can get out of this dump and have some fun."
ZIDANE
"I... oh, it's true, Dagger. It's true! I did make advances onto Eiko!"
DAGGER
"Zidane!"
STEINER
"You little...!"
ZIDANE
"I couldn't help myself. She's just so... sexy. I'm sorry, babe, I really am."
DAGGER
"Well that tears it! If you want Eiko that much, then take her!"
ZIDANE
"What are you saying, babe?"
DAGGER
"We're finished!"
Dagger runs off, crying.
STEINER
(to Zidane)
"Are you happy now?!"
Steiner runs off after Dagger. Vivi shakes his head in disgust and follows.
EIKO
"..."
ZIDANE
"..."
EIKO
"...What have I done?"
EXT. ALEXANDRIA - AFTERNOON
Zidane and Eiko are walking through the streets.
EIKO
"I'm sorry Dagger dumped you, Zidane, I really am. I never meant for any of this to happen."
ZIDANE
"Don't worry about it, Eiko. Dagger's dumped me before, but we always manage to patch things up eventually. I take it as a sign that we were... destined to be together. But that doesn't stop me liking other girls. Man, I hate my weakness."
EIKO
"I should never have made that wish in the first place. Not only have I ruined yours and Dagger's relationship, I've also ruined her's and my friendship. I only did it 'cause... well, you know."
ZIDANE
"Yeah..."
EIKO
"I-I've got to put things right again. I have to apologise to Dagger, get our friendship back on track, and get you two back together again, like fate intended."
ZIDANE
"That's sweet of you, Eiko, but I don't think that's gonna happen. For a start, we'd have to get back into the castle, and what with Rusty and Beatrix on patrol, that's gonna be no mean feat. Nah, I think we should just give Dagger a couple of days to calm down, and then apologise."
EIKO
"Perhaps you're right."
They continue to walk down the street.
EIKO
"So, where do you think you'll go from here?"
ZIDANE
"Back to Lindblum, I guess. Hopefully the guys from Tantalus'll let me crash at the ol' hideout for a few nights."
EIKO
"I-I'd offer to let you stay at the castle, but..."
ZIDANE
"Yeah, that would be a little awkward..."
They reach the bottom of Main Street.
ZIDANE
"We should probably not go back to Lindblum together, either. We don't want to give people the impression we left as a couple."
EIKO
"Oh, hmm, of course."
ZIDANE
"It's okay, Eiko. You go first, I'll just, uh, hang around here for a while."
EIKO
"You sure?"
ZIDANE
"Yeah. You go on ahead."
EIKO
"Thanks, Zidane."
They hug. They then look into each others eyes. And kiss.
EXT. LINDBLUM CASTLE - NEXT MORNING
Establishing.
INT. EIKO'S ROOM - MORNING
Eiko is fast asleep in her bed. Zidane is laying beside her. He opens his eyes, sits up, and looks across.
ZIDANE
"Oh my God! Oh, no! How could I?!"
EIKO
(wakes up)
"Zidane? Zidane! Calm down!"
ZIDANE
"Calm down! Calm down?! I slept with my girlfriend's best friend!"
EIKO
"No, you didn't!"
ZIDANE
"Huh?!"
EIKO
"Dagger isn't your girlfriend anymore. You split up, remember?"
ZIDANE
"But you... and me! We knocked boots!"
EIKO
"Shh! We did no such thing!"
ZIDANE
"Excuse me?!"
EIKO
"After that little... romantic moment yesterday in Alexandria, we came back here to Lindblum Castle to talk... Things went on for a little longer than expected, and you ended up falling asleep in my bed."
ZIDANE
"And you just thought you'd climb in with me?!"
EIKO
"Well where the heck was I supposed to sleep?! On the floor?!"
ZIDANE
"You could've put me in the Guest Room, surely..."
Mog appears infront of them.
ZIDANE
"Agh! A ghost!"
EIKO
"Mog?! What're you doing back here?!"
MOG
(out of breath)
"Eiko! Thank goodness, kupo!"
EIKO
"What's wrong?"
MOG
"It seems certain complications have arisen. I'm sorry to break this to you, but it looks like I wasn't entitled to grant that wish for you, after all."
EIKO
"What?"
MOG
"The gods have been on my back all night. They've talked it over with their gods, and apparently the wish you made a few days ago was... well, not acceptable. It turns out it really does count as three wishes, rather than one, kupo. And like I said, I was only supposed to grant you one wish."
EIKO
"Oh, I see..."
ZIDANE
"What the hell is going on here?"
EIKO
"Zidane, this is Mog. She was the one responsible for turning me into a teenager."
MOG
"Yes, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel your wish, Eiko. Hey, it's the gods' doing, not mine."
EIKO
"Really?! You mean I'm going to be a 6-year-old again!?"
MOG
"Yeah, like I said, I'm really sorry..."
EIKO
"No, Mog, it's fine! I want to be turned back into a kid!"
MOG
"You do?"
EIKO
"Yeah. I mean, life as a teenager was fun for a while, but after the novelty worn off, it just ended up bringing too many problems with it."
MOG
"All right then, here goes! Shazzam!"
A cloud of dust covers Eiko. The dust fades and Eiko finds that she has turned back to her old self. She pulls out a mirror and looks at herself.
EIKO
"Ah, that's better!"
Zidane sighs.
EIKO
(to herself)
"Oh, I forgot all about Zidane and his problem..."
Eiko looks towards Mog.
EIKO
"Mog? Could you do me one last favour before you go?"
MOG
"As long as you don't want me to scare anyone. I hate doing that, kupo."
EIKO
"No. Could you use your spiritual powers to bring Zidane and Dagger back together again?"
ZIDANE
(smiling)
"Yeah! Please!"
MOG
"What do I look like, a genie?!"
Zidane looks upset.
MOG
"Ah, fine!"
ZIDANE
"Hurray!"
MOG
"Geez, I'm such a soft touch, kupo!"
A cloud of dust covers the bed. The dust fades and Dagger is sitting inbetween Zidane and Eiko.
DAGGER
"Zidane? Eiko?"
EIKO
"Hee hee!"
ZIDANE
"Uh, hi, Dagger!"
DAGGER
"Could someone explain just what in the world is going on here?"
MOG
"Yeesh! I've done my bit, kupo! I'm outta here!"
Mog disappears. Zidane, Dagger and Eiko look awkwardly at each other. Zidane and Eiko smile nervously.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END
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