A Final Fantasy VIII Fan Fic
Final Fantasy VIII characters and locations from said game are owned by SquareSoft.
By Robertdogwood
Rated PG-13 for slight reference to nudity
Based on an original picture by Vick330
"Ok, I promised you last week that I would tell you about Rinoa's Art Project. No, this is before you transferred here. Now the first thing you have to really understand or I won't tell you the story, this is extremely hush-hush. If the Commander should hear you talking about this or even hear that you were talking about this, you would be history around here so quickly your head would spin.
The whole thing began because apparently Rinoa had taken art classes while she was in school in Deling City and was considered quite the big deal. She had been leaning toward going to Art College after school but, of course, after she became involved with the Forest Owls, all that had gone by the wayside.
After she had been at the Garden for awhile she began to regret that she had not followed up on her artistic talents. When she first told everybody about it, a number of us were excited. Zell wanted Rinoa to collaborate with him on a comic that he had long wanted to write called something like 'Zelly the Pinhead.' I really think it was autobiographical.
I wanted Rinoa to draw an idea that I had. What was it? Well, I had a really great idea for a hentai doujin*, starring - you guessed it, me and Selphie. Rinoa had the nerve to tell me it was too distasteful. I don't get it. Well, I guess what they say is true - that some people's only taste are in their mouth.
What you'd mean - just look at myself? Look, if you're going to be insulting, I don't have to tell you this story. Ok, apology accepted.
Now where was I? Oh, yeah. Rinoa has a lot of money she has never touched from a trust fund left to her by her mother so she - I wouldn't want to say manipulated, that sounds too harsh. So she convinced Cid with the help of her contributing the money to pay to bring a fairly well known art teacher to the Garden for a six month stay to teach classes.
So when you think about it that way, it was pretty nice of Rinoa. Even though she got what she wanted, she didn't have to include everybody in it like she did. A whole lot of students and SeeDs signed up. I signed up too.
What's so funny about that? I care about art and all those higher forms of culture. Well, to tell you the truth I went hoping to see some nude models, but of course all there was to paint was some bowls of fruit or flowers in a vase. My theory of art is once you've seen one bowl of fruit that pretty well covers that subject. Anyway I have trouble drawing a straight line so I dropped out early; although I'll tell you one thing for certain - Rinoa can flat out paint. I mean I think she could make some real money from it if she were interested. As it was, she made some other people some real money, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
A couple of months passed and the art professor supposedly told Rinoa that she thought Rinoa was ready to move on to painting the human form. The problem was she would need a live model. Since it would just be Rinoa and the model in one of the rooms up around the ballroom, the entire thing would be very discreet.
Why? Are you serious or haven't you been paying attention? The human body - not the human body dressed. She could have just used a newspaper ad if that's all she was going to paint.
Oh, ok, as long as you get it. Well, I was glad to volunteer, but can you believe this? Rinoa turned me down flat; something about not trusting me. Man, I was really crushed for a while until I saw what she actually had in mind the entire time. She wanted to paint Squall au naturel. Oh come on - without any clothes on dummy!
I don't have the slightest idea how she talked him into it. Well, actually I do because Rinoa swore Selphie to secrecy and told her the whole thing. Selphie, of course, didn't waste any time at all telling me about it. What? Well I'm her fiancé and besides there's very few secrets here at the Garden. No, I'm not gonna tell you how she talked him into it. I'm sorry I brought the whole thing up.
Anyway she got Squall up in one of the upper rooms where first, I guess from what I heard, she had to sketch him nude. No, no, no! He was nude, not her. Pay attention, will you? Although that is an intriguing thought.
The thing was supposed to be very top secret but, of course, by this time Selphie had told half the Garden, all of them women. Most of the women Squall passed in the halls everyday were sizing him up. I could tell if I was walking with him that they were trying to imagine what was lying beneath his clothing. And none of that had been going on until all of this interest had been piqued by Rinoa's art project.
Now the way I understand it is these sketches were being secreted out of Rinoa's room when she wasn't there and then copies were being made and sold. No, it wasn't me. For one thing, I have more than enough sense not to mess with Squall. For another thing, mere money does not move me. I'm interested in two things and two things only - guns and women.
I don't know who was doing it, but I made it a point not to find out either. All I know is that Selphie told me that those copies were in most of the female dorm rooms. Of course, they weren't posted on the walls or anything that obvious, because Squall might take it upon himself to do dorm inspection although he usually farms that out for others to do.
It's when she began to paint him that all hell broke loose, so to speak. What am I talking about? Well, somebody began renting out peeks at Squall. I guess some enterprising person had drilled a small hole in the outer wall and then told all the women. I know that some money was being made hand over fist. No, no photographs were allowed. I think because of the fear that he would see the flash from the camera, plus have you ever tried to snap a picture from a camera through a little peek hole?
No, of course not. No junior classmen females were involved. I'm amazed you would even ask such a dang fool thing. Get your mind out of the gutter. This isn't one of those kind of stories!
Well, yeah, I do have a suspicion who was doing this, but only because somebody started bringing back dozens of frozen hot dogs back to the dorm. No, I'm not gonna tell you who I think it was.
What was Squall wearing? Are you kidding? I said it was for a nude painting. Well, I guess if you want to get technical about it he was holding his gunblade but that's the only thing I think he was wearing.
What?! Did I look? Why would I look, for Hyne's sake? I'm a guy who loves women. Oh, all right. Yeah I went up there one day late in the afternoon when the shuttle was done being run up there of all the upperclassmen women and female SeeDs. You know, we don't have communal showers or anything, so naturally I was curious, merely in a detached scientific mode, you know.
Why would you ask that? Oh, alright. Well, let's just say that his gunblade isn't the only thing that is well hung off his body. You know it was strange too. When I was up there peeking, Rinoa had a certain crazed look on her face. She didn't really appear the way a painter would look when involved in a painting. Well, I can't really explain it, but it was something between gleeful and insane.
What? Well, I'm not sure there either. I can only tell you from personal experience if I was to spend all day everyday trying to paint Selphie nude I might have that same look on my face too by the end of the day.
This whole art project went on for a long time. Apparently it takes a long time to do a oil painting. By the way, I heard even Xu went up to take a look. Yes, I swear to Hyne, it's true. I overheard her and Quistis talking about it. In fact, that's what brought the whole thing crashing to a head and ruined Z-…uh, whoever's business it was got ruined.
Somehow all the other women had managed to keep it a secret from Quistis and Selphie because I guess they knew instinctively that those two would ruin the gig. And, in fact, that's what happened. Quistis and Selphie of course didn't confide in me so I really didn't know what was going on. I did realize that Selphie was acting awfully secretive about something so I began to follow her around without her knowing it. And sure enough finally my diligence paid off as I saw her go get Quistis who was with Fujin and the three of them headed up the backway to where the painting was being done.
Hyne! Actually this meant they climbed up a number of flights, but at least it was easier to follow them that way without being detected by them. I still didn't know for certain where they were going but because of the giggling that Selphie and Quistis were doing I quickly figured out where we were headed.
Yes I said Quistis was giggling. Oh, that's just her act. Quistis acts all formal and everything but underneath she's just as whacked as the next person. Just ask Seifer if you don't believe me.
You know I could understand Quistis and Fujin wanting to look, but Selphie? Why would she want to see? What? I mean that I've got all the equipment and then some to satisfy her. Well, yeah sure, I like to look at women. What does that have to do with what we're talking about?
Anyway we all get up there and then calamity strikes! I mean all hell breaks loose. Sorry, I didn't mean to speak over your head. Apparently no one told them about the peep hole and I couldn't go and tell them or they would have discovered I was following them. So they just tried to pull open the door a little and take a quick look. That was so stupid. I mean it was stupid, stupid, stupid.
When Selphie pulled the door open and looked in, Squall was staring right at them! I guess he was just so nonplussed for a moment that he stood there holding his gunblade and that was about it for clothing at that point. Finally he found his lungs and he started yelling.
Man, I've heard Squall do a lot of yelling since I met them all back at Galbadia Garden, but that was nothing compared to this. I mean I heard some people down at Balamb Town thought that a sonic boom had been set off.
No, I'm not kidding. Well, don't believe me. See if I care. Do you want to hear the rest of this or not? Okay, then. Quit interrupting so much. What was he yelling? Well, it was so loud it was almost incoherent, but it sounded something like everyone of them were hereby suspended from SeeD immediately and must leave the Garden forthwith. Of course Quistis, Selphie, and Fujin made themselves real scarce real quick.
Meanwhile back at the painting, I guess what happened next was predictable, but sad; particularly if you appreciate great painting the way I do. Now don't give me that look and don't say another word or I won't tell you the rest of it.
I suppose Rinoa's first mistake was posing Squall with that gunblade. Yep, that's right. He was angry and probably just as mad at Rinoa or himself for that matter right at that moment so he just took that gunblade and - SWISH - BANG! - that was one dead painting.
Oh man, you should have heard the squall Rinoa put up then. Sorry, pun intended. She was screaming and crying hysterically and he was shouting at her. Finally she calmed down a little and I saw this look of cunning come into her eyes and she reached down and picked up all of Squall's clothing in one fell swoop and ran off with it laughing manically - mwahaha!
What? Well, yeah, I could have gone and helped him, but I wasn't supposed to be there, was I? And I didn't like that mad gleam in his eye either and that big gunblade he was holding. Finally he didn't have any choice but to go down to his room that way. He was holding his gunblade down in front of him to keep himself semi-decent.
What happened to him on his way to his room? That's another whole story that I think is best left untold. The upshot of the whole thing was the art program was officially cancelled by Squall. Rinoa didn't talk to him for about a month, but you know - those photocopies of those sketches are still floating around somewhere. And hotdog boy had to go back to scrounging his hotdogs up any way that he could again. Haha!
Yeah, well that's the entire episode of Rinoa's art project. Okay, maybe next time I will tell you what happened with that haunted basketball court, but remember - and be super clear on this - mum is the word on this story, if you value your very existence, that is.
A/N hentai doujin* - A pornographic comic book written and drawn by amateurs. Thanks to the excellent artistic talent of Vick330 there is an artists rendition of the climatic scene of this story at http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/nanaki1777/fanart3.html entitled Rinoa's art project.