Disclaimer: Okay, I took a lot of lines from the movie so if anything looks familiar, then it's not mine.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took a while to come out. Once again my beta reader bailed on me, so I'm might be looking for a new one soon. I'm already half way done with chapter 4 and it should be up by next week the latest...hopefullly. I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed. It always makes my day to read what people thought of my story.
Chapter 3: The 2 ex's conspire
It had been a week since James and Lily got dumped by there former boy/girlfriends. James vented out some of his frustration on the Gryfindor Quidditch team by putting itching powder on all of there brooms. Incidentally, he put the powder the same time Gryfindor had a game with Ravenclaw. Gryfindor had to forfeit the game due to...itchiness. Furthermore, much to James' satisfaction the Slytherin Quidditch team received the blame for it. But, most of the time James walked around as if the whole world ended. Lily, however, walked around like nothing happened. She was still upbeat and very perky.
One night there was a huge party at the Three Broomsticks and everyone was invited. Lily went with a bunch of friends, not real friends, they were more like a posse. They hung around with each other because of their status as the most popular people in the school. They sat around at their 'cool' table and started up a conversation. In reality they were just making fun of everyone they didn't really like at Hogwarts.
"Did you believe what Parkinson was wearing. Can you say slut?"
"I can't believe you kissed another girl and she wasn't even in the same social class."
"At least I didn't kiss James Potter."
"James Potter? Who kissed James Potter?"
And the conversation kept going from one shallow topic to another. Lily on the other hand was busy getting drunk on butterbeer (which was very hard to do since it barely had any alcohol in it). She had gotten extremely upset when she found out that Barty was taking Hannah to the Ball.
"He says he's in love," informed Zoe.
In the end she ended up getting so drunk she couldn't even stand up without holding on to something.
*~~*~~*
Out by the lake, James and his friends were sitting around waiting for Sirius' dream girl.
"Who is this girl anyway?" asked James.
"She's this girl that I've been owling for over a year now. I've never seen her before, but she said she'd meet up with me tonight." replied Sirius trying to mask his excitement.
"Pen pal girls are hot," said James. There was a murmur of assent between the boys. Just then an owl landed on Peter's head. He opened it up and sighed. James suddenly got angry.
"Pete, I thought you were gonna quit that 'sneak in the drunks through secret passages' this year."
"I can't do that. If they get caught then they will never be allowed to go out again," retorted Peter.
"So what? If they wanted have their parties then they wouldn't get so drunk or at least they would learn how not to get caught. Why should we care?" shouted James as he ran after Peter.
"Well actually, this is a good thing," replied Remus thoughtfully.
"How so?" asked Sirius.
"Well think about it...if they get caught they will tell all the teachers about that passage to get them in the school. Then the teachers will suspect that we know more than one passage, which we do, and then they will lock all of them up. Then we will be stuck in this school for weeks on end without any Honeydukes," finished Remus dramatically. Sirius fell in a mock faint and all the guys laughed.
"Plus," added Sirius as he got up, "if they stop going to parties then they will end up swarming the common room or the kitchens." All four shuddered at the thought.
*~~*~~*
Zoe was pulling Lily away from the party after an unexpected strip show staring Lily. She had to half drag half carry her out to the clearing near the school.
"Look at him all over her," She said looking at two people making out. "I think I'm gonna go over there and..." she tried to pull away but Zoe pulled her back.
"Don't go making a bigger ass of yourself tonight," sighed Zoe. She then looked up and saw Remus and his friends. "Well, well looks like someone actually showed up on time."
"Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't always you that gets drunk and starts to strip and give lap dances to poor unexpected guys...and girls," he said with a weird glint in his eyes. Zoe turned red at the memory of 4th year when she got drunk and gave a lap dance. Zoe was about to reply when Lily, who had blanked out for a second looked up and saw the four pranksters.
"You called for them to sneak me back to the castle," Lily whined indignantly.
"What? Did you expect me to take you back to the castle myself so you can puke all over my outfit...again. Yeah right!"
"Hey Peter!" someone yelled. They turned and saw the Gryfindor seeker and keeper carrying Barty. "You think you can sneak Barty back up to the castle with you?" they asked although there was no way Peter was going to say no to them.
"Yeah sure." They dumped Barty in the back of one of the horseless carriages Sirius "borrowed" from the school along side Lily. She saw Barty then leaned forward and saw Zoe give an evil smile.
"Girl gets two-faced boy in back seat of a carriage...violence anticipated." (A/n sorry couldn't resist!)
As the carriage made its way to the castle James and Remus got in and sat by Lily and Barty. Sirius and Peter were outside guiding the carriage.
Lily looked over at Barty. "You are nothing but a jerk," she slurred, trying to focus on Barty. "I thought you were taking me to the Ball, you asshole," she spat. Barty winced but replied, "I was gonna take you Lil I swear I was, but then I met Hannah and fell in love," he finished dreamily.
"So I've heard," said and irritated Lily. She was gonna stay quiet and give him the silent treatment, but decided better of it. "How can you fall in love! You are only 17. Teenage love is for saps." During this James and Remus were trying hard not to laugh but James let out a snort anyway.
"Sure, go ahead and laugh. Yeah just yuk it up clowns?" shouted Lily.
"Can you drop me off here?" asked Barty, "I can make my way back..I can sneak back into the common room myself."
"I don't think you should...," started Peter but Lily yelled, "You heard the man! He said he wants to get out so let him out!" When the carriage stopped Lily practically pushed him out.
*~~*~~*
Inside the common room, James escorted Lily to her room. The reason being last time Lily tried to get up to her room when she was drunk she almost fell out the window. He helped her into her room and said goodnight.
"Lily," said James before leaving, "are you okay?"
"I'll be fine," she snapped, Then, softer she whispered "Thanks anyway."
When James left she slowly got up and locked the door. She then took out her yearbook, looking for possible date for the Ball.
"Anderson...total loser...Bernard...womanizer..." she kept rating the guys until she reached the end of the yearbook "Malfoy..evil jerk...Nicolas...going with Abrealla(sp?)... Snape..slimy and needs a haircut...Thomas...needs bobtuber pus...Zen...picks his nose in class. Argh I can't find anyone." She threw down the book and it landed on a page that she skipped. She picked it up stared at it. It was the page with James' picture on it. It was taken the year before when he decided to give up on haircuts. His dad made him get one when he came back home for the summer, but it was still long and untidy. She stared at it for a long time before getting up and going to the boys dorm.
*~~*~~*
The guys were getting undressed to go to sleep when there door banged open. "You three," she pointed at Remus, Sirius, and Peter, "out! Potter you stay." They left but not without giving a few catcalls and telling James to give them all the details later.
"What do you want now? Your not gonna strip for me, are ya?" laughed James.
"Take me to the ball?" she asked. It sounded more like a command.
"What are you insane? Me go with you?" asked a shocked James.
"Come on," she whined while sitting on his bed. "Please? I'm desperate," she pouted.
"Oh...well then," said James giving her an 'I'm-not-amused' look.
"Your not offended," she huffed. "Come one, we can save each other..from disgrace."
"You are crazy," repeated James.
"Look everyone knows about me and Barty. I can't go to the biggest party of the year stag. I know people are going to talk behind my back and laugh at me when I'm not around. There gonna say 'Hey look there's Lily-The Loser," she then slumped down onto James' lap.
"Your drunk," said James stating the painfully obvious. She gave him a puppy dog look, which under normal circumstances she would never do. James looked at her and smiled a bit. He then asked, "What's in it for me?" She looked him in the eye then whispered in his ear seductively, "If you have to ask then your not as smart as you think." She even went as far as to run her hands through his messy hair which was surprisingly soft. She looked at his expression, but he looked unfazed.
"Okay, okay look I can't go stag because I'm the one who practically declared it illegal to go to the Ball alone. Besides," she said rounding on him, "everyone knows about you and Daphne. What'll they say when they find out she dumped you for House-elf boy and your going around like a love sick puppy." he flinched at her words but still said nothing.
"I'll let you sleep on it," she said and she got up to leave. However, instead of heading for the door she headed for the window.
"Whoa, this way," smirked James as he lead her towards the door and into her dorm room. His friends saw her come down so they decided to go back up but thankfully none of them asked James what happened.
*~~*~~*
After a spending a whole night thinking of what Lily said and thinking about how Daphne would react James made his decision.
He went up to Lily's room Saturday morning and woke her up. She was having a slight hangover so she ended up sleeping in late. Everyone else in her dorm (who were also part of the Founder's Day Ball committee) left hours ago.
James gently awoke her and she got up with a groan. Without any introductions he said, "We are gonna have to have some rules and an easy out clause." She then gave him a look that clearly said, 'Duh' and then said, "Of, course we are going to have rules. We have to make it believable if we want to pull this off. Then the second the plan is over we can go back to out lives...and social status." She looked him up and down and said, "Okay, first things first. We are gonna have to clean you up."
"Clean me up? How much cleaning up are we talking about?" asked James though he already knew the answer.
"First we have to get you a whole new wardrobe."She said eyeing his torn sleeved shirt and pants with holes in them. She then ruffled his hair and said, "And we have to give you a hair cut...something like Barty's," she added as an afterthought.
"There is now way I'm cutting my hair like his. The way he cut it looks like someone hacked it off. Besides won't it be a little suspicious if I get the same haircut?"
"Yeah, I guess your right. But we are still gonna cut it short. Maybe even spike it. What about your glasses?"
"What about them?"
"We are gonna have to get you contacts to show of your adorable eyes," she smiled. James dismissed the compliment due to her headache and the fact that she wasn't looking straight at him but a little to the left of him instead.
"Contacts?" asked James nervously.
"Your still not afraid to touch your eye are you?" laughed Lily.
"What do you mean still?"
"I remember in second year your got an eyelash in your eye and you wouldn't touch your eye at all." Lily burst out laughing, "You walked around all day with your eye twitching."
"Okay! Okay!" cried James trying to get her to stop laughing. She did stop suddenly when her headache came back full force. She took a few deep breaths and continued.
"So no contacts...how about new glasses? I know you can afford them."
"What kind of new glasses?" asked James "'Cause I'm not gonna get a pair that is really small or girly looking." He crossed his arms across his chest as if to emphasize his point.
"I'll think of something," smiled Lily at his baby-ish attitude. "But first we have to go shopping. "
'Shopping?' thought James with dread and he was pushed out of the room for Lily to change and then was pulled towards Hogsmeade.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took a while to come out. Once again my beta reader bailed on me, so I'm might be looking for a new one soon. I'm already half way done with chapter 4 and it should be up by next week the latest...hopefullly. I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed. It always makes my day to read what people thought of my story.
Chapter 3: The 2 ex's conspire
It had been a week since James and Lily got dumped by there former boy/girlfriends. James vented out some of his frustration on the Gryfindor Quidditch team by putting itching powder on all of there brooms. Incidentally, he put the powder the same time Gryfindor had a game with Ravenclaw. Gryfindor had to forfeit the game due to...itchiness. Furthermore, much to James' satisfaction the Slytherin Quidditch team received the blame for it. But, most of the time James walked around as if the whole world ended. Lily, however, walked around like nothing happened. She was still upbeat and very perky.
One night there was a huge party at the Three Broomsticks and everyone was invited. Lily went with a bunch of friends, not real friends, they were more like a posse. They hung around with each other because of their status as the most popular people in the school. They sat around at their 'cool' table and started up a conversation. In reality they were just making fun of everyone they didn't really like at Hogwarts.
"Did you believe what Parkinson was wearing. Can you say slut?"
"I can't believe you kissed another girl and she wasn't even in the same social class."
"At least I didn't kiss James Potter."
"James Potter? Who kissed James Potter?"
And the conversation kept going from one shallow topic to another. Lily on the other hand was busy getting drunk on butterbeer (which was very hard to do since it barely had any alcohol in it). She had gotten extremely upset when she found out that Barty was taking Hannah to the Ball.
"He says he's in love," informed Zoe.
In the end she ended up getting so drunk she couldn't even stand up without holding on to something.
*~~*~~*
Out by the lake, James and his friends were sitting around waiting for Sirius' dream girl.
"Who is this girl anyway?" asked James.
"She's this girl that I've been owling for over a year now. I've never seen her before, but she said she'd meet up with me tonight." replied Sirius trying to mask his excitement.
"Pen pal girls are hot," said James. There was a murmur of assent between the boys. Just then an owl landed on Peter's head. He opened it up and sighed. James suddenly got angry.
"Pete, I thought you were gonna quit that 'sneak in the drunks through secret passages' this year."
"I can't do that. If they get caught then they will never be allowed to go out again," retorted Peter.
"So what? If they wanted have their parties then they wouldn't get so drunk or at least they would learn how not to get caught. Why should we care?" shouted James as he ran after Peter.
"Well actually, this is a good thing," replied Remus thoughtfully.
"How so?" asked Sirius.
"Well think about it...if they get caught they will tell all the teachers about that passage to get them in the school. Then the teachers will suspect that we know more than one passage, which we do, and then they will lock all of them up. Then we will be stuck in this school for weeks on end without any Honeydukes," finished Remus dramatically. Sirius fell in a mock faint and all the guys laughed.
"Plus," added Sirius as he got up, "if they stop going to parties then they will end up swarming the common room or the kitchens." All four shuddered at the thought.
*~~*~~*
Zoe was pulling Lily away from the party after an unexpected strip show staring Lily. She had to half drag half carry her out to the clearing near the school.
"Look at him all over her," She said looking at two people making out. "I think I'm gonna go over there and..." she tried to pull away but Zoe pulled her back.
"Don't go making a bigger ass of yourself tonight," sighed Zoe. She then looked up and saw Remus and his friends. "Well, well looks like someone actually showed up on time."
"Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't always you that gets drunk and starts to strip and give lap dances to poor unexpected guys...and girls," he said with a weird glint in his eyes. Zoe turned red at the memory of 4th year when she got drunk and gave a lap dance. Zoe was about to reply when Lily, who had blanked out for a second looked up and saw the four pranksters.
"You called for them to sneak me back to the castle," Lily whined indignantly.
"What? Did you expect me to take you back to the castle myself so you can puke all over my outfit...again. Yeah right!"
"Hey Peter!" someone yelled. They turned and saw the Gryfindor seeker and keeper carrying Barty. "You think you can sneak Barty back up to the castle with you?" they asked although there was no way Peter was going to say no to them.
"Yeah sure." They dumped Barty in the back of one of the horseless carriages Sirius "borrowed" from the school along side Lily. She saw Barty then leaned forward and saw Zoe give an evil smile.
"Girl gets two-faced boy in back seat of a carriage...violence anticipated." (A/n sorry couldn't resist!)
As the carriage made its way to the castle James and Remus got in and sat by Lily and Barty. Sirius and Peter were outside guiding the carriage.
Lily looked over at Barty. "You are nothing but a jerk," she slurred, trying to focus on Barty. "I thought you were taking me to the Ball, you asshole," she spat. Barty winced but replied, "I was gonna take you Lil I swear I was, but then I met Hannah and fell in love," he finished dreamily.
"So I've heard," said and irritated Lily. She was gonna stay quiet and give him the silent treatment, but decided better of it. "How can you fall in love! You are only 17. Teenage love is for saps." During this James and Remus were trying hard not to laugh but James let out a snort anyway.
"Sure, go ahead and laugh. Yeah just yuk it up clowns?" shouted Lily.
"Can you drop me off here?" asked Barty, "I can make my way back..I can sneak back into the common room myself."
"I don't think you should...," started Peter but Lily yelled, "You heard the man! He said he wants to get out so let him out!" When the carriage stopped Lily practically pushed him out.
*~~*~~*
Inside the common room, James escorted Lily to her room. The reason being last time Lily tried to get up to her room when she was drunk she almost fell out the window. He helped her into her room and said goodnight.
"Lily," said James before leaving, "are you okay?"
"I'll be fine," she snapped, Then, softer she whispered "Thanks anyway."
When James left she slowly got up and locked the door. She then took out her yearbook, looking for possible date for the Ball.
"Anderson...total loser...Bernard...womanizer..." she kept rating the guys until she reached the end of the yearbook "Malfoy..evil jerk...Nicolas...going with Abrealla(sp?)... Snape..slimy and needs a haircut...Thomas...needs bobtuber pus...Zen...picks his nose in class. Argh I can't find anyone." She threw down the book and it landed on a page that she skipped. She picked it up stared at it. It was the page with James' picture on it. It was taken the year before when he decided to give up on haircuts. His dad made him get one when he came back home for the summer, but it was still long and untidy. She stared at it for a long time before getting up and going to the boys dorm.
*~~*~~*
The guys were getting undressed to go to sleep when there door banged open. "You three," she pointed at Remus, Sirius, and Peter, "out! Potter you stay." They left but not without giving a few catcalls and telling James to give them all the details later.
"What do you want now? Your not gonna strip for me, are ya?" laughed James.
"Take me to the ball?" she asked. It sounded more like a command.
"What are you insane? Me go with you?" asked a shocked James.
"Come on," she whined while sitting on his bed. "Please? I'm desperate," she pouted.
"Oh...well then," said James giving her an 'I'm-not-amused' look.
"Your not offended," she huffed. "Come one, we can save each other..from disgrace."
"You are crazy," repeated James.
"Look everyone knows about me and Barty. I can't go to the biggest party of the year stag. I know people are going to talk behind my back and laugh at me when I'm not around. There gonna say 'Hey look there's Lily-The Loser," she then slumped down onto James' lap.
"Your drunk," said James stating the painfully obvious. She gave him a puppy dog look, which under normal circumstances she would never do. James looked at her and smiled a bit. He then asked, "What's in it for me?" She looked him in the eye then whispered in his ear seductively, "If you have to ask then your not as smart as you think." She even went as far as to run her hands through his messy hair which was surprisingly soft. She looked at his expression, but he looked unfazed.
"Okay, okay look I can't go stag because I'm the one who practically declared it illegal to go to the Ball alone. Besides," she said rounding on him, "everyone knows about you and Daphne. What'll they say when they find out she dumped you for House-elf boy and your going around like a love sick puppy." he flinched at her words but still said nothing.
"I'll let you sleep on it," she said and she got up to leave. However, instead of heading for the door she headed for the window.
"Whoa, this way," smirked James as he lead her towards the door and into her dorm room. His friends saw her come down so they decided to go back up but thankfully none of them asked James what happened.
*~~*~~*
After a spending a whole night thinking of what Lily said and thinking about how Daphne would react James made his decision.
He went up to Lily's room Saturday morning and woke her up. She was having a slight hangover so she ended up sleeping in late. Everyone else in her dorm (who were also part of the Founder's Day Ball committee) left hours ago.
James gently awoke her and she got up with a groan. Without any introductions he said, "We are gonna have to have some rules and an easy out clause." She then gave him a look that clearly said, 'Duh' and then said, "Of, course we are going to have rules. We have to make it believable if we want to pull this off. Then the second the plan is over we can go back to out lives...and social status." She looked him up and down and said, "Okay, first things first. We are gonna have to clean you up."
"Clean me up? How much cleaning up are we talking about?" asked James though he already knew the answer.
"First we have to get you a whole new wardrobe."She said eyeing his torn sleeved shirt and pants with holes in them. She then ruffled his hair and said, "And we have to give you a hair cut...something like Barty's," she added as an afterthought.
"There is now way I'm cutting my hair like his. The way he cut it looks like someone hacked it off. Besides won't it be a little suspicious if I get the same haircut?"
"Yeah, I guess your right. But we are still gonna cut it short. Maybe even spike it. What about your glasses?"
"What about them?"
"We are gonna have to get you contacts to show of your adorable eyes," she smiled. James dismissed the compliment due to her headache and the fact that she wasn't looking straight at him but a little to the left of him instead.
"Contacts?" asked James nervously.
"Your still not afraid to touch your eye are you?" laughed Lily.
"What do you mean still?"
"I remember in second year your got an eyelash in your eye and you wouldn't touch your eye at all." Lily burst out laughing, "You walked around all day with your eye twitching."
"Okay! Okay!" cried James trying to get her to stop laughing. She did stop suddenly when her headache came back full force. She took a few deep breaths and continued.
"So no contacts...how about new glasses? I know you can afford them."
"What kind of new glasses?" asked James "'Cause I'm not gonna get a pair that is really small or girly looking." He crossed his arms across his chest as if to emphasize his point.
"I'll think of something," smiled Lily at his baby-ish attitude. "But first we have to go shopping. "
'Shopping?' thought James with dread and he was pushed out of the room for Lily to change and then was pulled towards Hogsmeade.