Final Fantasy VIII
Stupid Cupid
Author: Raine18
Disclaimer: FFVIII Belongs to me.NOT! It belongs to Squaresoft!
Author's Note: I had writer's block and spent the entire night thinking of a plot. This may not be as funny as the rest of the chapters but I hope it'll do. Like the previous chapters, it changes into dialogue halfway. The funniest parts are at the end.
Chapter 5: Squall and ???, a match made in heaven?
It was in the afternoon and Squall was taking a nap, as he had nothing better to do.
' Ahhh, get away from me!!!' He shouted out loud.
Rinoa who just happen to walk past his room run in when she heard his cries.
'Squall, what's wrong?' She asked when he awoke.
' Ahhh! I mean nothing.' He said, not wanting to answer Rinoa's string of endless questions.
In actual fact, he had a nightmare in which he and Rinoa were married and she was turning fat and ugly after pregnancy. She has pimples all over her face and looked like an elephant chasing after him. She was trying to kiss him. He was looking for a new hiding spot. Rinoa found him at last in a locker.
' Squall, Squally-poo, I'm going to kiss you.'(makes goldfish face)
(-_-")
'What a nightmare, luckily I woke up in time.' He thought.
'Do you want to go for a walk?' Rinoa asked.
As he was having nothing to do, he said, ' Okay.'
(Shift shifts to Zell)
Zell was sent to the infirmary for treatment after the Hotdog incident. (See Chapter 3) The fishing committee had netted him up, as he does not know how to swim. The hotdog was also netted and thrown away into the bin. He did not remember a thing that took place earlier.
' What happened to me? I feel weird. Ahhhhhhh!! Where are my clothes? Who's outraging my modesty?' Zell asked.
Dr. Kadowaki walked towards him. Dr. Kadowaki had a smirk on her face with a really evil look. For a moment, Zell lost his mind and thought that Dr. Kadowaki wanted 'to do something with him.' ;)
' Help!!! Rapist!!!' He screamed like a girl.
' Where? Where's the rapist?' Dr. Kadowaki put her hands over her body to protect herself.
' You're the rapist, that's who! Don't try to deny it! Why did you strip me? Why did you kidnap me? You evil woman, wait till I tell my mama 'bout this!' Zell said accusingly.
Dr. Kadowaki took a brick out of her coat and hits Zell on the head. (Hey, where did she get that from?)
' You Jackass, Pigtail girl from library and co. found you swimming in the fountain after your hotdog. You can't swim and was drowning in knee-deep water. The fishing committee netted you up.' Dr. Kadowaki answered in a rage.
' I can't believe it. I was swimming after a hotdog?' Zell said in disbelief when Dr. Kadowaki explained what happened.
' Irvine did something crazy as well, wonder what's the world coming to. All the guys turn into psychos during Valentine's Day.' She answered.
( Scene shifts to Squall)
' Squall, is something wrong?' Rinoa asked as they walked together along the fountain. He had been silent for most of the time.
Squall kept quiet. He still can't get over the nightmare.
' Bing, Bing , Bing, Bing.'
' Hello. This is Headmaster Cid. Today is Valentine's Day and we were suppose to share it with our loved ones. But today, there have been 2 strange and unexplainable cases of freaks running around in the school premises. Edea, oh baby. A-hem. I believe that evil is at work and causing chaos. This evil that we speak of is targeting men! Please try to stay in your dorms. If you want to go out, do it at your own risk. That's all for the announcements. Edea baby, here I come!'
'Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.'
' Let's go in doors. I don't want to be affected.' Squall said, nonchalantly.
Rinoa sighed and said. 'Why not?'
( Scene shifts to Stupid the Cupid)
' I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! This Garden must have something against me! I was trying to be helpful and all they do is yada-yada-yada about what I do wrong! I HATE THEM! It's time they receive their just desserts for accusing me.' Two horns appeared behind Stupid's head as he said those words filled with hate.
He took a handful of arrows and with his bow. He set out on his quest of pairing up the most horrible couples ever.
One, two, three. By the time Stupid had finished, chaos had overtaken Balamb Garden. Boys were running everywhere chasing girls, screaming and shouting was heard everywhere. It was horrendous.
' That'll teach them to mess with me!' he said, contently. ' Now for my last arrow, which lucky guy is gonna get this baby? Hmmm.'
He was looking around for a victim when he saw Squall trying to save Rinoa from Nida who is trying to kiss her.
' He's the one that I've been looking for.' Stupid said evilly.
(Scene shifts to Squall & Rinoa)
' Help, Squall! Nida.. Get away from me. AHHHH!' Rinoa screamed as Nida chase and try to kiss her.
Squall throws a punch at Nida's face, landing him in the fountain.
Rinoa heaved a sigh of relief and said' Thanks!'
'Ouch, something hit me on my head.. ., I feel weird.. .' Squall said before collapsing on the floor.
' Are you okay? Squall, stop scaring me. Squall?' Rinoa asked.
The spell that Stupid cast was showing its effects. Hearts, stars and fireworks were going around Squall's head, of course, nobody could see that except for Squall himself He was so crazy for someone, but who is it?
' Squall? Squall? Wake up! Please!' Rinoa plead.
(Scene shifts to Quistis & Seifer)
' Raijin! Get away from her!' Seifer shouted to Raijin who wanted to give Quistis a teddy hug.
' I wanna hug her. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.. . Ouch' Raijin whined before passing out.
It was Fujin who had used a thick pole to knock Raijin out.
' GO!', Fujin said.
' Thanks, I own you one.' Seifer thanked Fujin.
' What's Rinoa doing there?' Quistis asked Seifer when she saw Rinoa crouching over Squall. ' Squall's in trouble. We got to help.'
' Help puberty boy? Whatever.' Seifer said and ran after Quistis.
**************************************************************************** *
' What's wrong with him?' Quistis asked Rinoa.
' He said his head hurts and blacked out just like that.' Rinoa answered, crying.
' Reminds me of Ellone and the dream thing...' Seifer said.
' Reminds me of Irvine this morning...' Quistis answered.
' Seifer, please take a look at him. I don't know what's wrong. I'm scared. Please.' Rinoa said, desperately.
Seifer pitied Rinoa and took a look at Squall. Just as he leaned over, Squall woke up.
(Change into Dialogue)
*S.V=sissy voice
Squall(awoke)(s.v): I want... Seifer. Oh, Seifer, it's you! I've been dreaming of you.
Seifer: (0_0) (Shocked)
Rinoa: Squall.. . I'm so .. .
Squall(ignoring Rinoa)(sissy voice): Baby Seifer, looking good today. Don't look so shocked. I'm not going to eat you up. All I wanna do is... ... to kiss you.( kisses Seifer)
Seifer (stands up, big reaction): HELP!!! YUCKS!!! Puberty boy! STOP!!! What the hell is wrong with you! God damn it! What's the world coming to?
Quistis: Squall, I demand that you stop this nonsense immediately.
Rinoa: Squall... Stop that.
Squall(s.v): Move over, sister. The boy is mine.
Seifer: HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!( Runs off in opposite direction)
Rinoa: (speechless)
Quistis(squinting her eyes, questioning tone): I didn't know you were gay? What about Rinoa?
Squall(s.v): Rinoa's just a friend. If you would excuse me... I have to look for my precious Seifer. Woo-Hoo! Seifie! Wait for Squally! (Runs after Seifer like a girl)
Quistis & Rinoa: (sweatdrops) (-_-")
Don't worry, this is not the end. Squall will not remain a sissy forever. Find out in the concluding Chapter 6, in which a rather unexpected hero restores Balamb's Garden peace! Chapter 6: To Almasy, or not to Almasy.
Stupid Cupid
Author: Raine18
Disclaimer: FFVIII Belongs to me.NOT! It belongs to Squaresoft!
Author's Note: I had writer's block and spent the entire night thinking of a plot. This may not be as funny as the rest of the chapters but I hope it'll do. Like the previous chapters, it changes into dialogue halfway. The funniest parts are at the end.
Chapter 5: Squall and ???, a match made in heaven?
It was in the afternoon and Squall was taking a nap, as he had nothing better to do.
' Ahhh, get away from me!!!' He shouted out loud.
Rinoa who just happen to walk past his room run in when she heard his cries.
'Squall, what's wrong?' She asked when he awoke.
' Ahhh! I mean nothing.' He said, not wanting to answer Rinoa's string of endless questions.
In actual fact, he had a nightmare in which he and Rinoa were married and she was turning fat and ugly after pregnancy. She has pimples all over her face and looked like an elephant chasing after him. She was trying to kiss him. He was looking for a new hiding spot. Rinoa found him at last in a locker.
' Squall, Squally-poo, I'm going to kiss you.'(makes goldfish face)
(-_-")
'What a nightmare, luckily I woke up in time.' He thought.
'Do you want to go for a walk?' Rinoa asked.
As he was having nothing to do, he said, ' Okay.'
(Shift shifts to Zell)
Zell was sent to the infirmary for treatment after the Hotdog incident. (See Chapter 3) The fishing committee had netted him up, as he does not know how to swim. The hotdog was also netted and thrown away into the bin. He did not remember a thing that took place earlier.
' What happened to me? I feel weird. Ahhhhhhh!! Where are my clothes? Who's outraging my modesty?' Zell asked.
Dr. Kadowaki walked towards him. Dr. Kadowaki had a smirk on her face with a really evil look. For a moment, Zell lost his mind and thought that Dr. Kadowaki wanted 'to do something with him.' ;)
' Help!!! Rapist!!!' He screamed like a girl.
' Where? Where's the rapist?' Dr. Kadowaki put her hands over her body to protect herself.
' You're the rapist, that's who! Don't try to deny it! Why did you strip me? Why did you kidnap me? You evil woman, wait till I tell my mama 'bout this!' Zell said accusingly.
Dr. Kadowaki took a brick out of her coat and hits Zell on the head. (Hey, where did she get that from?)
' You Jackass, Pigtail girl from library and co. found you swimming in the fountain after your hotdog. You can't swim and was drowning in knee-deep water. The fishing committee netted you up.' Dr. Kadowaki answered in a rage.
' I can't believe it. I was swimming after a hotdog?' Zell said in disbelief when Dr. Kadowaki explained what happened.
' Irvine did something crazy as well, wonder what's the world coming to. All the guys turn into psychos during Valentine's Day.' She answered.
( Scene shifts to Squall)
' Squall, is something wrong?' Rinoa asked as they walked together along the fountain. He had been silent for most of the time.
Squall kept quiet. He still can't get over the nightmare.
' Bing, Bing , Bing, Bing.'
' Hello. This is Headmaster Cid. Today is Valentine's Day and we were suppose to share it with our loved ones. But today, there have been 2 strange and unexplainable cases of freaks running around in the school premises. Edea, oh baby. A-hem. I believe that evil is at work and causing chaos. This evil that we speak of is targeting men! Please try to stay in your dorms. If you want to go out, do it at your own risk. That's all for the announcements. Edea baby, here I come!'
'Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.'
' Let's go in doors. I don't want to be affected.' Squall said, nonchalantly.
Rinoa sighed and said. 'Why not?'
( Scene shifts to Stupid the Cupid)
' I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! This Garden must have something against me! I was trying to be helpful and all they do is yada-yada-yada about what I do wrong! I HATE THEM! It's time they receive their just desserts for accusing me.' Two horns appeared behind Stupid's head as he said those words filled with hate.
He took a handful of arrows and with his bow. He set out on his quest of pairing up the most horrible couples ever.
One, two, three. By the time Stupid had finished, chaos had overtaken Balamb Garden. Boys were running everywhere chasing girls, screaming and shouting was heard everywhere. It was horrendous.
' That'll teach them to mess with me!' he said, contently. ' Now for my last arrow, which lucky guy is gonna get this baby? Hmmm.'
He was looking around for a victim when he saw Squall trying to save Rinoa from Nida who is trying to kiss her.
' He's the one that I've been looking for.' Stupid said evilly.
(Scene shifts to Squall & Rinoa)
' Help, Squall! Nida.. Get away from me. AHHHH!' Rinoa screamed as Nida chase and try to kiss her.
Squall throws a punch at Nida's face, landing him in the fountain.
Rinoa heaved a sigh of relief and said' Thanks!'
'Ouch, something hit me on my head.. ., I feel weird.. .' Squall said before collapsing on the floor.
' Are you okay? Squall, stop scaring me. Squall?' Rinoa asked.
The spell that Stupid cast was showing its effects. Hearts, stars and fireworks were going around Squall's head, of course, nobody could see that except for Squall himself He was so crazy for someone, but who is it?
' Squall? Squall? Wake up! Please!' Rinoa plead.
(Scene shifts to Quistis & Seifer)
' Raijin! Get away from her!' Seifer shouted to Raijin who wanted to give Quistis a teddy hug.
' I wanna hug her. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna.. . Ouch' Raijin whined before passing out.
It was Fujin who had used a thick pole to knock Raijin out.
' GO!', Fujin said.
' Thanks, I own you one.' Seifer thanked Fujin.
' What's Rinoa doing there?' Quistis asked Seifer when she saw Rinoa crouching over Squall. ' Squall's in trouble. We got to help.'
' Help puberty boy? Whatever.' Seifer said and ran after Quistis.
**************************************************************************** *
' What's wrong with him?' Quistis asked Rinoa.
' He said his head hurts and blacked out just like that.' Rinoa answered, crying.
' Reminds me of Ellone and the dream thing...' Seifer said.
' Reminds me of Irvine this morning...' Quistis answered.
' Seifer, please take a look at him. I don't know what's wrong. I'm scared. Please.' Rinoa said, desperately.
Seifer pitied Rinoa and took a look at Squall. Just as he leaned over, Squall woke up.
(Change into Dialogue)
*S.V=sissy voice
Squall(awoke)(s.v): I want... Seifer. Oh, Seifer, it's you! I've been dreaming of you.
Seifer: (0_0) (Shocked)
Rinoa: Squall.. . I'm so .. .
Squall(ignoring Rinoa)(sissy voice): Baby Seifer, looking good today. Don't look so shocked. I'm not going to eat you up. All I wanna do is... ... to kiss you.( kisses Seifer)
Seifer (stands up, big reaction): HELP!!! YUCKS!!! Puberty boy! STOP!!! What the hell is wrong with you! God damn it! What's the world coming to?
Quistis: Squall, I demand that you stop this nonsense immediately.
Rinoa: Squall... Stop that.
Squall(s.v): Move over, sister. The boy is mine.
Seifer: HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE!( Runs off in opposite direction)
Rinoa: (speechless)
Quistis(squinting her eyes, questioning tone): I didn't know you were gay? What about Rinoa?
Squall(s.v): Rinoa's just a friend. If you would excuse me... I have to look for my precious Seifer. Woo-Hoo! Seifie! Wait for Squally! (Runs after Seifer like a girl)
Quistis & Rinoa: (sweatdrops) (-_-")
Don't worry, this is not the end. Squall will not remain a sissy forever. Find out in the concluding Chapter 6, in which a rather unexpected hero restores Balamb's Garden peace! Chapter 6: To Almasy, or not to Almasy.