Notes: Oh man. That was the worst case of writer's block I have ever had. And in my opinion this chapter is the worst of the whole story! It's so...illogical and well, I wanted to come to an end, so I hurried a little bit and so...the result is rubbish. Ah well. I'm sorry. There will be one more chapter, though, but don't ask me when. My life is pretty busy right now, cause I am working the whole holidays, so I am barely at home.

Again I am sorry for the delay. It seems to become a habit of me...maybe you should just accept that Kaeera is a lazy girl who can't write . And this chapter is shorter than the others, but I ran out of ideas. Gotta hate writer's block!! And I am so busy that I can't read all the new stories in the mighty Ducks section! *sobs* Okay, okay, you certainly don't want to hear my complains, but...I am complaining anyways!!! *stucks out her tongue*

Oh, and since my fellow beta-reader Dolphy is currently away, you might discover some mistakes in this story. I didn't want you to wait any longer, so I'll upload the uncorrected version and will replace it later. Hope you can live with that! Well, enjoy the product of my sick mind! :P

To Face the Fears

by Kaeera

Chapter 8: Letting you down(Part B)

Time passed and nothing happened. Wildwing had buried his head in his hands, being motionless, like dead. And that was what he wanted to be - dead. It had been his fault, his damn fault that his team-members died, and he had seen them dying. In his arms. They died in front of him, and he had been unable to prevent it. He had just watched, horrified, shocked, but he hadn't done anything. He hadn't been able to do anything.

They died in my hands

in my hands

in my...

He wailed silently, images of his friends and brother flooding his mind. Images of a happy life, memories of peace....the six ducks, all in a team, on earth, fighting together, living together, one unit, one family. And now? It was over. Over. Over and out. What was happening? Why now?

Mallory, sitting on the couch and reading one of her fashion magazines. Her red hair, hanging wildly in her face, shining in the sunlight which comes through the window. Her face - strong and concentrated. The fighter girl who can handle a bazooka, who can kick the saurians like nobody else. Her dead body lying on the ground, on the glittering ice. Motionless. Cold.

What would Canard think of him? What would he say when he knew that he, Wildwing, had sent the team into their death? Had let them down? Hadn't been able to help them? But....but Canard couldn't think anything. Canard was dead, too...like the others....like everybody...without him.

Tanya, standing in the lab and experimenting with Drake One. Blonde strains hanging in front of her eyes. Her intelligent face and her strange kind of talking when she tries to explain something. Her hands, calmly and never standing still. And then....her body, dead. In the snow, lifeless. No breathing. No pulse. Nothing. Her lips, so cold....

Why couldn't he die? There was something which prevented him from committing suicide, a small part of his mind which insisted on living, which told him that nevermind what happened, you should never give up, because then everything's lost. He had never been a depressive guy, and suicide had never been a solution. But now...dying seemed pleasant now!

Grin, kneeling on the floor and meditating. His ponytail and his huge body, taller than everybody else and strong like an elephant. His wise words which nobody understood, and then the soft chuckle he used to add. His quarrelling with Nosedive in front of the TV, and the numerous times he had calmed Wildwing down with only his presence. His corpse on the ground, blue lips, white face, like a giant doll....

Wildwing hesitated for a short moment and looked at the sky. He didn't mind the cold anymore, neither did he mind the snow or the wind. H felt lost...he felt alone...he was alone....this was the worst feeling he had ever had in his life. Even the camps hadn't been that bad, because there he could hope that his brother was alive...but now hope had died, because he knew it, had seen the death of his smaller brother, of the person he cared most for.

Nosedive, his smaller brother. Nosedive with his messy blonde hair, his attitude....The smart comments he used to throw in, his love for TV and sweets and his crazy friends at the comic shop. His coolness and the numerous times at night when he had a nightmare and came to his room, seeking for support. Then...Nosedive's eyes, opened wide with shock and horror, with betrayal. His hand, outstretched, trying to reach him, but failing....his scream, echoing through his mind as the teen fell down the hole...fell down....and never returned....

*****************

Suddenly there had been this beam of light. It had just happened...she had been in the desert, and then...then all was white and now she seemed to be floating in the middle of nowhere. It was a strange feeling; as if she had lost her body, was only a ghost, only her soul. She didn't feel fear anymore, in opposite, she was calm, very calm. Peaceful. The air - if you could call it like that - was warm. For some minutes she enjoyed the peace, then she became restless. She wanted to go back, to be in her body! She wanted to do something.

Something was definitely wrong, and Mallory strongly suspected that it involved the Saurians. This dream hadn't been a normal dream. It was far too clear for that. No, probably a kind of manipulation. That meant that they were arrested by the ugly creatures, and that they were in danger. The duck wanted to wake up and fight!

She growled in frustration and tried to move, but it was difficult without a real body. Then, suddenly, she felt a presence beside her. It was big, calm and strong. The image of Grin popped into her mind. Mallory thought a question - she couldn't really speak - and received a positive reply. A wave of relief overcame the girl. At least Grin was with her; and she wasn't alone anymore.

Grin himself wasn't as surprised as Mallory. It resembled a bit of meditating - soul and body are two different things, and now they were separated. You could think clearer, because you weren't bonded to your vulnerable flesh. But he knew that they - sooner or later - had to escape, because the time was limited. He directed this thought at Mallory and received a mental nod. 'But' Told the soul of the warrior girl 'We should wait for the others'

The giant duck agreed. It was likely that his team-mates shared the same strange dreams, and would hopefully find a way out, like he did. He remembered the harshness of this path and shuddered mentally. 'Please let them fight like I did. They can't give up.'

They waited for a short time, both ducks strangely aware of the other's presence. They both knew that they had shared horrible experiences, and that they had been strong enough to face their deepest fears. It gave them an inner strength only few people possessed.
Mallory's thoughts flew back to the memories of her past. This incident had always been in her mind, everytime when she fought. It was a source of her power, and a source of her fear. Now she had understood, had learned to accept it and had learned to live with it.
Grin was thinking the same way. He had tried everything, had suppressed his emotion, and his memories, but he had finally learned to accept them and to live with them.

They would have smiled when they had bodies to smile with. Then another presence entered the 'room'. It was energetic, experience and with an air of dry humour. They both need some time to recognise the other duck, but then an image planted itself in their heads, and they saw their greyfeathered friend, the ex-thief, Duke. A silent welcome greeted him and he greeted back, surprised at first, and then nodding understandingly. He felt the aura of self-consciousness around his friends and realized that the same aura could be found around him as well. The result of this adventure - they had all become stronger. A slight chuckle echoed through the nothingness. Duke directed his thoughts to the others 'Stupid saurians. In the end they didn't destroy us, but helped us, because now we can live with our fears.'

The others agreed, but Grin pointed out that they shouldn't be too happy yet. After all, three friends were still missing and it was possible that they didn't manage it and were lost now, that the evil plan of their enemies had succeeded. Worry swept over the three and the impatiently waited for the presence of their friends.

**************

"How long are you planning to continue this?", a voice asked suddenly and Wildwing jerked up. He looked around and searched for the person who had said these words, but he didn't found anybody.

"Continue what?", he rubbed his eyes.

"Wailing. Crying. Whatever you call it. Sitting in a corner and blaming yourself."

"That doesn't interest you!"

"Oh, it does, Wildwing, believe me, it does. Because you can't stay like that, because we need you and you can't sulk forever.", the voice came closer and a shadow materialised beside the duck. He looked up and his eyes widened when he saw the familiar figure of his old friend. "Duke!", Wildwing gasped, both in shock and joy. "You're alive?"

"I can't answer this question. Here I am not alive, but maybe elsewhere...", the grey duck smirked.

"Wing, I'm not the real Duke, I'm a part of your mind, your imagination, which wants to tell you something very, very important, but it is difficult because of the mental blocks in this prison...", the shadow wavered a bit. "I can't stay long, I can just give you a few hints! Think, Wildwing, think! Your friends trusted you, but they would....never blam...y....This i-is...t r...ty...", his voice became raspy and the shadow disappeared in a flash.

"Wha....", Wildwing could just stare at the place where his friend had been standing and where now only white snow could be seen. What had he wanted to say? They would never blame...who? Him? He narrowed his eyes. Would Nosedive ever blame him for letting him down?

Sure he would, you are his brother, you idiot, it's you responsibility....

His mind screamed, but he tried to ignore it. He had to think logically, rational, like every leader should. Take a deep breathe, Wing! Calm down!

He remembered Nosedive, remembered his lazy attitude and remembered their relationship to each other. The teen had always admired him and had followed him around like a lost puppy in the earlier days. Although he had become quite independent with the time, he still searched for consolation and respected his brother. Wildwing knew that Nosedive loved him, even more now that in the past, the cruel events had tied them together. And Nosedive trusted him. Would he blame him?

The leader turned the words around, as a sudden thought popped into his head. Would I blame him? He frowned. In exactly the same situation, would he blame his brother because he hadn't manage it to rescue him? Would he say that it was Nosedive's fault?

Of course not! He couldn't have done anything. It was destiny, and I certainly wouldn't blame him....

Probably Nosedive would do the same. Still...that didn't change his mood the tiniest bit. They were still dead, his team-mates, his friends, his brother...just Duke, who mysteriously appeared as a ghost....wait a moment....
Wildwing rubbed his eyes. Since when could Duke do that? Hey, in real life things like that didn't happen! It was just....illogical!

So...this isn't real life?

A wave of excitement swept over him. Maybe this was just an illusion, a dream, a nightmare? Maybe his friends were still alive? He replayed the events in his mind. The fact that he didn't knew how this had happened, the fact that Duke had appeared suddenly out of nowhere, like a ghost, the fact that the whole scenery was somehow....unreal...

"Took you quite a while to figure this out!", someone chuckled besides him. Wildwing looked up. "Who....Canard???", his beak fell open as he looked at his friend. "No way! You are dead....I think....", he scratched, realising that if this was a dream, it could be quite possible to meet old friends.

"Penny for your thoughts.", his friend slapped him on the shoulder. "Finally thinking straight again?"

"Halfway.", Wing replied with a weak smile. "I still don't understand some things...and I wanna know how I can escape!"

"Well, that's an easy one.", Canard scratched his chin. "Okay, I'm just a ghost, a mental image, created of your sick brain, but I think I know the answer for this one. Imagine this is a nightmare, not a natural one, but a nightmare created to frighten you to death. It's clear that the purpose to destroy you can only be reached when you can't fight against the fears, when your deepest and biggest fears come to the surface. That's what happened so far.", he grinned a bit. "Well, unfortunately the targeted person - you - has finally used his brain and realised that everything is just a big illusion. Now the person wants to escape. Think a little bit....this dream is about your deepest fears, the fears which were buried in your soul."

Wildwing frowned. "I have to know my fears?"

"Yep. Plus another thing."

The duck slapped his forehead. "Duh! I have to face them! I have to face my fears!", he looked at Canard. "But I did do that...I saw Nosedive dying!"

"Yeah, and you wanted to kill yourself after that!"

"Oh."

"Do you see the point?"

Wildwing nodded, deep in thoughts. "I have to accept my fears. I can't give in. I have to keep my hope. I just gave up, I sank deeper into depression...", he recalled the last few hours. He remembered how horrible he had felt when he had seen the other ducks dying. "But...they aren't death, right? It's just a dream..", his eyes glinted with hope.

"Wing...even if they were dead, you should continue living. It's hard. It's sad. But it's the way of life.", Canard smiled knowingly. "And now go home, buddy. Show the saurians that we are way better than them!"
He laughed and gave Canard the high-five. "Thanks a lot! I owe you one!", he stood up and brushed the snow from his pants. The silhouette of Canard started to disappear. "Canard...." Wildwing said, before his friend vanished like Duke. "I...miss you."

The duck turned around with a sad expression on his face. "But I am not the real Canard, and you know that. I am an illusion!", then his face lit up. "But Canard knows it. I'm sure.", then he disappeared.

***************

Another person joined the three, and it didn't take them long to recognize the brilliant mind of Tanya. She was very interested in their momentary bodyless existence and asked the others about it. But she only received shrugs. Curiously she wondered how the saurians had managed it to plant them such evil dreams in their heads. A wave of sadness overcame her when she remembered Nicole, but it quickly faded.

'Why are they taking so long?', Mallory finally wanted to know. She had been the first one to escape and was getting bored.

'Keep your inner peace, my friend, and enjoy the freedom of your soul.', was one reply. Of course - Grin.

'Maybe they are taking a quick nap.', joked Duke and chuckled softly.

'Or maybe they have more problems than we.', added Tanya.

'Well, it's nothing new that we have to wait for Dive...', grumbled Mallory. 'But Wildwing...', she was interrupted by a new, loud and chaotic presence.

'Are you talking about me behind my back?', someone laughed, and they immediately knew that their young friend had managed it to escape, too.

'That's cool!', Nosedive realised and went to discover the inner sides of his soul. 'I'm a creepy ghost! Wohooo!', he seemed to be his old cheerful self. The others groaned. Ciao, Peace! 'Hey, Mallory, I can see all your dark secrets!', the teen threatened which caused the female duck to cry in shock. 'What?!' 'Only kidding! His reply on that was a snort. 'I will return to my body now!', Mallory announced. 'Nosedive is already annoying me, and in this state I can't punch him.'


Wildwing looked down on his hands and noticed that he wasn't freezing anymore. He was...warm, and felt normal, although there was still a blizzard around him and he could see how cold it was. Snow whirled in his face, snow covered his shoulders and his feet, but it just wasn't cold anymore. The duck enjoyed the sudden feeling of comfortable peace and closed his eyes for a brief moment. Then he clenched his fists and looked determined at the sky.

I want to go back. I want to wake up.

With all his intensity he concentrated on this two thoughts, sent all his powers into it. He could feel it, could feel how his body slowly started to...disappear, to feel lighter. Wildwing smiled. He could see the faces of his friends in front of his inner eye, believed to hear their voices, their laughter, their shouts. They weren't dead. They wouldn't blame him. They trusted him, but they knew that he wasn't perfect. That he had his weak sides. And still they trusted him....a wave of encouragement flooded over him. He saw the flash of light, felt, how he started to move without moving, felt, how his soul flew through the sky, through the sphere , through a hidden barriere and suddenly....

...he was pure soul. His body was far away and just his thoughts, his dreams, hies believes were flying around, somewhere. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear, but he could feel something...strange....and far in the distance he could feel five presences, five souls he knew. He would have laughed, if he had a body. So he just flooded towards them and sent them a greeting. a warm 'Hello' and received shouts of joy and relief. He was the last one to arrive. They all had managed their own fears, and for one moment Wildwing wondered what these fears might be(he decided to ask his brother as soon as they had reached home), but then decided that their first priority was to return - finally - to their bodies and to do some major damage to certain saurians.

Again he concentrated, this time on his body, and he knew that his friends and his brother were doing the same. They would come back. Together. Safe. Alive.


Sometimes

you just have to realise

that you aren't perfect

and that there are people

who rely on you

and who know that you are no superman

See this

And realise that they trust you

And if you fail to help them

And if you are crying because you couldn't help them

Remember that you are no superhuman

Remember that they trusted you

Remember that they will never blame you

It was silent in the raptor. Night had started and even the saurians were sleeping peaceful. Just some glimmering lights enlightened the small, metallic corridors. The prisons of the six ducks were shining in mystic green light, the liquid around them moving their hair and clothes. They resembled dead people, pale, with closed eyes and frozen faces. Then it changed. First one was Mallory. Her eyebrow started to twitch, then the other followed.

Where's my body? I can feel something...it's....strange....concentrate, girl, concentrate! You are in your own body, you should be able to move it. Breathe. Wait. I can't breathe! What's that for a strange feeling? Like I am flying...no...not really....not flying, swimming. I'm swimming in water....no! I am drowning! Open your eyes, or you'll die! Open! OPEN, DAMMIT!

Her eyes shot open. She wanted to gasp for air, but realised that she couldn't - a tube in her mouth was preventing her from doing so. She felt panic rise and mentally counted to ten; this tube was helping her breathing, so there was nothing to worry about; nonetheless she felt strange about breathing without breathing, if you could call it like that. Slowly she could recognize her surroundings. It frightened her to be imprisoned in a glass cage, but she had the fear under control. The others were in the same room, swimming like her in the liquid. Ugh. Disgusting. Typical for Dragaunus and Co.

She moved a little bit. Her arms and legs felt stiff, but nothing bad. Mallory started to grin. Time to escape! Then her grin faded when she noticed that she didn't have a chance to break through the thick glass. The girl frowned and stared at Grin, who was in the cage next to her. He certainly was strong enough, not?

Come on, Grinster, wake up, I wanna go home!

His eyebrows were moving and Mallory waited anxious. She didn't like being the only one awake in this frightening room - although she would have never admitted it, of course. Impatiently she knocked against the glass, causing the other duck to crack one eye open.

Grin came back to his body, not really prepared for the scene which was awaiting him. The giant duck was used to meditating and to....how had his master always called it?....to let his soul fly around iwthout his body. Normally, however, this body wasn't swimming in a green liquid, imprisoned in a glass cage with Mallory next to him. He blinked at her and recalled the previous events, recalled his dream. Oh. Mallory seemed to be quite angry, glaring at him with burning eyes. She wanted to escape. Well, Grin wanted the same, so he pressed his hands against the cool glass and his back against the other side. His muscles were working and the large strength of the calm duck showed some results - a small crack was forming, water(or whatever this was) started to drip out, slowly wetting the floor and with a enormous CRACK the whole glass box exploded, masses of water filling the room and Grin splashed on the floor like a wet puppy. He coughed and pulled the tube out of his mouth, inhaling the fresh air. Pieces of shattered glass were lying everywhere and the liquid was covering the floor at least two centimetres high.

Grin brushed a few pieces of glass from his clothes - he was still wearing the same outfit, the duck realised in surprise - and stood up in order to free the others. Mallory was the only one who was fully awake; the others were just coming to consciousness, not yet aware of their surroundings. Grin searched for a kind of weapon, a stick to destroy the massive glass. He could have used his fists, but he wanted to be able to continue playing ice-hockey.

Soon he found a metal piece which was lying on the floor, took it and slammed it with full force on the glass wand of Mallory's cage. Again shattering could be heard and a enormous wave splashed again Grin, causing him to stumble back. Mallory fell on the floor, coughed and tried to stand up. The ground was too wet and she slipped, falling painfully on her back. She grumbled and took the tube away.

"Finally!", she croaked and gasped for air. "It's time that this nightmare ends!"

Grin just nodded and went to the other cages. It was time to kick some saurians.

To be continued...