A/N: It seems I've forgotten all about disclaimers and such on my last two chapters. Well we can't have that now, can we? Oh, and another things, since italics and such don't work here the '-' indicates thoughts, flashbacks, stressed words, etc. Thank you much.
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie related. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. I own the plot. Stay away from the plot!
--
"You ok?" Matt asked his sister, a bit concerned at her out-of-character behavior. He had just waltzed right into her room, sat on her bed, and started singing The Song That Never Ends and she did nothing. He sang for 5 minutes straight, and she did nothing. He began to annoy himself before she even -sighed- in annoyance. Something wasn't right here...
"Mhmm." Came the mumbled reply. Did she know it was him? Her annoying little ferret faced brother? In her room? On her bed?
"Lizzie." Maybe she just needed to hear his voice say her name, then she'd realize who he was and she'd scream at him to get out of his room and he wouldn't be so frightened by her calmness.
"What?" She looked up and stared right at Matt. Well at least now he knew she knew who he was. So why wasn't she making him get out of her room and leave her alone?
"I asked if you were ok." He brought his feet up on the bed and folded them Indian style, hoping her seeing his feet on her bed would strike some kind of emotion.
"I said yeah..." She went back to doing her homework. Ok, now Matt was really starting to get weirded out. This was so unlike the mean and bossy sister he's known since the day of his birth.
"No, you said 'mhmm' that's not 'yeah' that's 'I'm gonna mumble incoherently so you think I'm ok when I'm really not ok'. So are you ok?" She looked up at him, surprised at how perceptive he was, then quickly bent her head to her homework again.
"I'm fine Matt, why don't you go bug Mom and Dad? I'm trying to do my homework." Matt smiled at the slight annoyance in her voice. At least she was getting annoyed with him again; maybe she was just weird because of PMS or something.
"I don't want to bug Mom and Dad, I want to bug you. Because I never get the chance to bug you anymore. I never get the chance to bug your friends either. Did you guys part ways and not tell anyone?" Another surprised look up at him, only this time she didn't go back to her homework. She stared at him silently for a few moments, contemplating on weather or not he could help her.
"No one parted ways. I've been busy." Matt sighed inwardly. He knew he hadn't always been #1 brother or anything, but he felt she should be able to at least trust that he could help her out. Lizzie had never been very good at hiding her emotions, so when she was upset everyone could tell, including Matt. So it wasn't like he was the brother from hell, who laughed in his sister's face when she was hurting, he wanted to help, or at least -try- to help.
"Busy not being friends anymore?" Ok, so maybe he didn't know the right things to say when trying to help. But his heart was in the right place. But Lizzie just rolled her eyes and went back to her books, deciding not to continue with this conversation.
"Busy with homework, Matt, like I'm trying to do now. Go away." Matt unfolded his legs and got up off the bed. He just stood there for a minute, by the bed, watching Lizzie pretend to do math homework. He couldn't just leave it at that; he had to try harder.
"What about Gordo and Miranda? What's their story?" Lizzie dropped her pencil and sighed in annoyance, but didn't look up.
"Miranda's grounded. She got a bad grade or something, will you stop prying into my personal business now?" Matt grinned, enjoying the annoyance in her voice. He had strangely begun to miss it. But he wasn't done helping yet.
"And Gordo? What about him?" He asked, a little quieter, knowing it was something serious when he saw her head bend down just a little more. Her shoulders slumped, and she just seemed to darken with sadness the second he mentioned Gordo's name. Bingo, he'd discovered the problem.
"How the hell should I know?" She questioned, with forced anger. Matt looked down and shuffled his feet a little, wording his next phrase carefully.
"Because you always know. You two always know everything about the other. So what's going on with Gordo?" Matt decided this might take awhile, so he took his position on the bed again and made himself comfortable, waiting for her response so he could play Doctor Matt and get his normal sister back. But he was met with silence.
"Lizzie?" -Come on Sis, don't go closing up on me now, just let me help you out.- Matt stared at Lizzie's slumped form intently, willing her to open up to him. Finally, a soft sigh emerged from her lips and a small dam was broken.
"I don't know Matt. I don't...I don't really know Gordo anymore." She responded softly, her voice laced with tears that began to form in her eyes and spill over onto her cheeks. Matt thought that maybe he should hug her. Or pat her back. Or something other than just sit there and watch her cry. But he felt lost and a little weird seeing his sister cry, so he just folded his hands in his lap and tried to think of things to say.
"Have you talked to him? Try and find out what's going on?" He finally asked, looking over at her with sympathetic eyes. She still wouldn't lift her head, but he could hear her sniffles and saw the tears split, splat onto her math book.
"I used to. Haven't for a while. I kept getting the same thing." She sounded miserable, and Matt moved a little closer, ready to hug her if she asked for it, or started crying more. It felt wrong, watching her cry like this, it just felt wrong seeing his big sister cry. He always thought she was strong, and she was, he knew that, but right now she didn't look so strong. She looked broken. That scared him.
"What's that?" He asked quietly. He was running out of ways to help, and things to say. He'd never really fought much with Lanny or Melina, so dealing with broken friendships really wasn't his area of expertise. But he had to do -something-.
"'Just wait, ok, Lizzie?'" She quoted in a broken whisper. Matt knitted his eyebrows together in a confused frown. -Wait? What was that supposed to mean? Wait for what?- Matt was beginning to feel the inkling of anger build in the pit of his stomach. Gordo wasn't supposed to be the type that ditched best friends, he was supposed to be a good guy. Why would he hurt Lizzie?
"Wait? For what?" Matt asked, decided to leave the anger part out of his voice, and just allowed his confusion to be heard. He was sure Lizzie would only get mad at him for being mad at Gordo. He was positive she was blaming herself someway or another. Lizzie always blamed herself.
"For him to come back. For him to find out who he is. For him to remember what life is. Just...for him." She sounded confused. Like she -didn't- know what she was waiting for and was just making things up to make sense of the situation.
"So that's what you're doing? Waiting?" This time he let his anger come trough, just a little. He loved his sister to bits, but she can be such a push over sometimes. Gordo had obviously ditched her, and was stringing her along, or -something- and here she was waiting for him to come around. She always let people walk all over her. Just like Kate had. Just like Gordo is doing.
"What else can I do? I can't lose hope, I can't give up on him, I can't let myself think he's gone forever. I can't do that Matt. Because he's still there, somewhere, and he needs to know I'm still here, and I still care." She looked up this time, right into his eyes, her eyes begging for him to understand. Begging for him to tell her that she was doing the right thing, that she wasn't wasting her time.
"What if...I mean, What if he isn't still there? What if he's forgotten about you, and Miranda, and all the other important things? What if he's just saying that to satisfy you?" He could tell it hurt her more than anything to hear those things. He could see it in her eyes, the way they flashed with pain and then closed as if she were trying to block it out, or stop more tears from spilling over, or both. But he had to say it; he had to get the truth through to her. He had to at least try to save her from going through the same pain she went through with Kate. He couldn't let her sit there and be made a fool of, not again.
"..." Matt sighed and got up from the bed. This time he went to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around him and clung on as she cried silently. He knew he had gotten through to her, he knew she had heard him. He just didn't know if it had made a difference.
"Lizzie, are you gonna wait around forever for something you aren't even sure of?" Lizzie tensed, just a bit, and sighed heavily. She gave Matt one final squeeze and pulled away, picking up her pencil and staring at her math book for a moment to gain her composure before turning to him and answering.
"Yes. If I have to." Then she turned her head and went back to her homework, brushing the conversation off and out of her mind. Matt sighed and walked toward her door, he turned to her and watched her sadly, trying to think of something more to do, someway to make her stop hurting. But in the end he could think of nothing, and he turned and walked out of the room, defeated.
A/N: -cry- Aww doncha juss love the bro/sis love? More tomorrow, please R/R to let me know if you actually -want- the more I'm giving : )
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie related. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. I own the plot. Stay away from the plot!
--
"You ok?" Matt asked his sister, a bit concerned at her out-of-character behavior. He had just waltzed right into her room, sat on her bed, and started singing The Song That Never Ends and she did nothing. He sang for 5 minutes straight, and she did nothing. He began to annoy himself before she even -sighed- in annoyance. Something wasn't right here...
"Mhmm." Came the mumbled reply. Did she know it was him? Her annoying little ferret faced brother? In her room? On her bed?
"Lizzie." Maybe she just needed to hear his voice say her name, then she'd realize who he was and she'd scream at him to get out of his room and he wouldn't be so frightened by her calmness.
"What?" She looked up and stared right at Matt. Well at least now he knew she knew who he was. So why wasn't she making him get out of her room and leave her alone?
"I asked if you were ok." He brought his feet up on the bed and folded them Indian style, hoping her seeing his feet on her bed would strike some kind of emotion.
"I said yeah..." She went back to doing her homework. Ok, now Matt was really starting to get weirded out. This was so unlike the mean and bossy sister he's known since the day of his birth.
"No, you said 'mhmm' that's not 'yeah' that's 'I'm gonna mumble incoherently so you think I'm ok when I'm really not ok'. So are you ok?" She looked up at him, surprised at how perceptive he was, then quickly bent her head to her homework again.
"I'm fine Matt, why don't you go bug Mom and Dad? I'm trying to do my homework." Matt smiled at the slight annoyance in her voice. At least she was getting annoyed with him again; maybe she was just weird because of PMS or something.
"I don't want to bug Mom and Dad, I want to bug you. Because I never get the chance to bug you anymore. I never get the chance to bug your friends either. Did you guys part ways and not tell anyone?" Another surprised look up at him, only this time she didn't go back to her homework. She stared at him silently for a few moments, contemplating on weather or not he could help her.
"No one parted ways. I've been busy." Matt sighed inwardly. He knew he hadn't always been #1 brother or anything, but he felt she should be able to at least trust that he could help her out. Lizzie had never been very good at hiding her emotions, so when she was upset everyone could tell, including Matt. So it wasn't like he was the brother from hell, who laughed in his sister's face when she was hurting, he wanted to help, or at least -try- to help.
"Busy not being friends anymore?" Ok, so maybe he didn't know the right things to say when trying to help. But his heart was in the right place. But Lizzie just rolled her eyes and went back to her books, deciding not to continue with this conversation.
"Busy with homework, Matt, like I'm trying to do now. Go away." Matt unfolded his legs and got up off the bed. He just stood there for a minute, by the bed, watching Lizzie pretend to do math homework. He couldn't just leave it at that; he had to try harder.
"What about Gordo and Miranda? What's their story?" Lizzie dropped her pencil and sighed in annoyance, but didn't look up.
"Miranda's grounded. She got a bad grade or something, will you stop prying into my personal business now?" Matt grinned, enjoying the annoyance in her voice. He had strangely begun to miss it. But he wasn't done helping yet.
"And Gordo? What about him?" He asked, a little quieter, knowing it was something serious when he saw her head bend down just a little more. Her shoulders slumped, and she just seemed to darken with sadness the second he mentioned Gordo's name. Bingo, he'd discovered the problem.
"How the hell should I know?" She questioned, with forced anger. Matt looked down and shuffled his feet a little, wording his next phrase carefully.
"Because you always know. You two always know everything about the other. So what's going on with Gordo?" Matt decided this might take awhile, so he took his position on the bed again and made himself comfortable, waiting for her response so he could play Doctor Matt and get his normal sister back. But he was met with silence.
"Lizzie?" -Come on Sis, don't go closing up on me now, just let me help you out.- Matt stared at Lizzie's slumped form intently, willing her to open up to him. Finally, a soft sigh emerged from her lips and a small dam was broken.
"I don't know Matt. I don't...I don't really know Gordo anymore." She responded softly, her voice laced with tears that began to form in her eyes and spill over onto her cheeks. Matt thought that maybe he should hug her. Or pat her back. Or something other than just sit there and watch her cry. But he felt lost and a little weird seeing his sister cry, so he just folded his hands in his lap and tried to think of things to say.
"Have you talked to him? Try and find out what's going on?" He finally asked, looking over at her with sympathetic eyes. She still wouldn't lift her head, but he could hear her sniffles and saw the tears split, splat onto her math book.
"I used to. Haven't for a while. I kept getting the same thing." She sounded miserable, and Matt moved a little closer, ready to hug her if she asked for it, or started crying more. It felt wrong, watching her cry like this, it just felt wrong seeing his big sister cry. He always thought she was strong, and she was, he knew that, but right now she didn't look so strong. She looked broken. That scared him.
"What's that?" He asked quietly. He was running out of ways to help, and things to say. He'd never really fought much with Lanny or Melina, so dealing with broken friendships really wasn't his area of expertise. But he had to do -something-.
"'Just wait, ok, Lizzie?'" She quoted in a broken whisper. Matt knitted his eyebrows together in a confused frown. -Wait? What was that supposed to mean? Wait for what?- Matt was beginning to feel the inkling of anger build in the pit of his stomach. Gordo wasn't supposed to be the type that ditched best friends, he was supposed to be a good guy. Why would he hurt Lizzie?
"Wait? For what?" Matt asked, decided to leave the anger part out of his voice, and just allowed his confusion to be heard. He was sure Lizzie would only get mad at him for being mad at Gordo. He was positive she was blaming herself someway or another. Lizzie always blamed herself.
"For him to come back. For him to find out who he is. For him to remember what life is. Just...for him." She sounded confused. Like she -didn't- know what she was waiting for and was just making things up to make sense of the situation.
"So that's what you're doing? Waiting?" This time he let his anger come trough, just a little. He loved his sister to bits, but she can be such a push over sometimes. Gordo had obviously ditched her, and was stringing her along, or -something- and here she was waiting for him to come around. She always let people walk all over her. Just like Kate had. Just like Gordo is doing.
"What else can I do? I can't lose hope, I can't give up on him, I can't let myself think he's gone forever. I can't do that Matt. Because he's still there, somewhere, and he needs to know I'm still here, and I still care." She looked up this time, right into his eyes, her eyes begging for him to understand. Begging for him to tell her that she was doing the right thing, that she wasn't wasting her time.
"What if...I mean, What if he isn't still there? What if he's forgotten about you, and Miranda, and all the other important things? What if he's just saying that to satisfy you?" He could tell it hurt her more than anything to hear those things. He could see it in her eyes, the way they flashed with pain and then closed as if she were trying to block it out, or stop more tears from spilling over, or both. But he had to say it; he had to get the truth through to her. He had to at least try to save her from going through the same pain she went through with Kate. He couldn't let her sit there and be made a fool of, not again.
"..." Matt sighed and got up from the bed. This time he went to her, and pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around him and clung on as she cried silently. He knew he had gotten through to her, he knew she had heard him. He just didn't know if it had made a difference.
"Lizzie, are you gonna wait around forever for something you aren't even sure of?" Lizzie tensed, just a bit, and sighed heavily. She gave Matt one final squeeze and pulled away, picking up her pencil and staring at her math book for a moment to gain her composure before turning to him and answering.
"Yes. If I have to." Then she turned her head and went back to her homework, brushing the conversation off and out of her mind. Matt sighed and walked toward her door, he turned to her and watched her sadly, trying to think of something more to do, someway to make her stop hurting. But in the end he could think of nothing, and he turned and walked out of the room, defeated.
A/N: -cry- Aww doncha juss love the bro/sis love? More tomorrow, please R/R to let me know if you actually -want- the more I'm giving : )