A/N: Ok, the lack of reviews is kinda bumming me out here, kiddies. Come on, it doesn't suck THAT much does it? I'm puttin' in a lot of effort here.
Dramaqueen214: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your sweet review. John Mayer rocks, and I love 'Not Myself' the best out of all the songs on his album. That and 'St. Patrick's Day' I'm thinking of doing a story based around that song, whaddya think?
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. The plot is mine. Remember, until I learn how to use italics the '-' means thoughts, scene changes, stressed words, etc.
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Matt is evil. Matt is evil, and stupid, and a loser, and I don't like him. Oh, he thinks he's so smart, 'I'm so mature, I'm so insightful, I'm so perceptive.' You don't know shit, Matt. He IS coming back. He HAS to. I won't let you get to me; I won't let you scare me. I won't give up hope just because you and everyone else have. It's just...you don't understand, Matt, you really don't. I have to wait for him, I have to hang on to this hope because...because when it's gone then...then I'm gone too. It's all I have left of him, the hope that he'll be him again. And if I don't have that, if I don't have the dream of Gordo, then I don't have anything. Don't you get it Matt? I'm not me without him. I can't be me without him. I don't know how. And I have to keep believing that I still have him, somewhere, and he'll come back, he will. He has to. Because I'm waiting for him. I'll always be waiting for him.
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"Gordo." Miranda sighed a little as Gordo waved his hand at her, signaling her to hold on.
"Gordo, it's really..." Another wave. Miranda was getting tired of his stupid hand and was ready to bite it off he didn't put down his damn camera and just talk to her. She hated that his camera and his new camera friends were more important than she was now. She hated it more that his new camera and his new camera friends were more important than Lizzie was now, cause Lizzie was the one that was hurting.
"Gordo, will you just put that..." This time Gordo did put the camera down, very gently, before whipping his head around to face her. Annoyance and anger burned in his eyes and Miranda wondered how he was able to set his camera down so gingerly with that much anger swirling around inside.
"What?! For Christ's sake Miranda, what do you want?" His tone was biting, and edgy, and Miranda had to clench and unclench her fists, taking a deep breath, before she spoke. She wanted to -talk- with Gordo, not -fight-.
"I want to talk to you, you think you can pull yourself away from your precious video camera, long enough to have a chat with an old friend?" Miranda didn't bother being friendly about the situation, not if Gordo had already decided that friendly wasn't necessary. She smiled sickeningly sweet and rolled her eyes when Gordo sighed heavily, as if she'd asked him to give his life for her.
"I'm busy, talk to me later." He was just about to turn back to his camera when Miranda jumped up and grabbed it before he could.
"You'll be busy talking camera talk with your friends later, I want to talk to you now." She held the camera behind her back, where he couldn't get it, and stared at him, unfazed, as he glared at her.
"Miranda, seriously, I'm busy, now can you just give me..." Miranda scoffed, not wanting to hear him ask for what had taken her and Lizzie's place in his life.
"You're always busy now Gordo. You're playing with your camera, or your camera nerd friends, or whatthehell else you have going on. It's like you're not even you anymore, what's with that? I understand you really enjoy filming, but what happened to me? What happened to Lizzie? You know, you're -true- friends? Maybe you should evaluate your friendships, cause they seem to me to be a little mixed up." Miranda sat down next to Gordo, on the table part of the lunch table. She rested her elbows on her knees and examined the camera, trying to figure out just -what- was so interesting about it.
"My friendships are fine, Miranda." Gordo answered, with an exasperated sigh. Somehow, deep down, he knew this was coming. When he saw Miranda across the school lunch yard, walking towards him, determination etched on her face, he knew he was in for a confrontation. And he knew what the confrontation was most likely about, although he didn't think it was necessary since it didn't seem like Lizzie was bothered too much about him not hanging out with them as much as he used to. He closed his eyes and willed Miranda to just go away and leave him alone.
"You're friendships used to be fine, but now your friendships are completely skewered. You spend all your time with a bunch of geeks who only hang out with you because you have a camera. You're not even friends with me and Lizzie anymore." Miranda didn't even bother hiding the bitterness in her voice, although she made sure to keep any kind of sadness out. She wouldn't give Gordo the pleasure of knowing it still saddened her to know that she pretty much lost one of the best friends she'd ever known. He didn't deserve it, not after ditching her and Lizzie like bad habits for a freaking -camera-.
"What? Miranda what are you talking about? I hang out with you guys every week; we go to the Digital Bean every Saturday, look at us now, hanging out. What the hell is that supposed to mean 'I'm not friends with you anymore'?" Ok, so most of the shock in his voice was faked, Gordo kinda knew she'd feel that way. He supposed she was right, he hadn't really been around much, not as much as he used to be. And yeah, he had a lot of other things he did now, but that didn't mean he didn't still consider Lizzie and Miranda his -friends-, they'd always be his best friends. Right?
"I mean just what I said. You aren't friends with us anymore. Sure you hang out with us sometimes, but you're mind is always off somewhere. You always go on about cameras, and when we're talking your eyes just glaze over and you don't even listen. Yeah you talk to us, and you meet us places, and we hang out sometimes, but you aren't -with- us. You haven't been for awhile." Miranda tried really, really hard to keep from showing she was sad, but it wasn't easy seeing as how the lump in her throat was making her voice crack a little. She tried to swallow, and took a few deep breaths; she really didn't want Gordo to know he wasn't just hurting Lizzie. She's supposed to be stronger than that, she didn't need Gordo, she really didn't.
"I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm busy, so go away." Gordo had to force the annoyance into his voice. In reality he felt tired, he wanted to go somewhere and lie down, and sleep, and just not think about anything Miranda was saying. He knew she was right, and he didn't miss the way her eyes glassed over with the beginnings of tears. He thought maybe that's what was making him feel so awful, because Miranda never cried, never. She'd always been a rock; never letting anyone hurt her to the point of tears. She'd always been an expert about brushing herself off and moving on. And here she was, fighting back tears, because of -him-. Gordo wanted to go home and forget this day.
"Fine, whatever, I give up. I don't see how Lizzie can keep waiting around when you're obviously gone." She huffed an angry sigh, and put his camera down before jumping off the table. This was a waste of time, she should have known she wouldn't be able to get through to him. He'd always been stubborn as a mule. But he didn't even flinch when she almost started crying. That wasn't like the Gordo she used to know at all. -I guess he really is gone. I should have known.- Miranda sighed sadly and turned to leave, but was stopped by Gordo's confused voice.
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Lizzie? Waiting around? Gordo knew she had to be wrong, she was mistaken, she had to be. Lizzie wasn't waiting for him, she never watched him anymore, she didn't care, she stopped caring a long time ago. -Didn't she?-
"Nothing. You've got work to do." Gordo wanted to reach out and grab Miranda and make her tell him what she meant. He had to know. Was Lizzie waiting for him? Did Lizzie get it? Did she understand all the times he'd asked her to wait? Why didn't she watch him anymore? Did she still care? She couldn't, he never saw her watch him anymore, he thought she stopped watching a long time ago.
"Miranda..." He called, he couldn't just let her walk away without explaining what she meant. But it was too late, Miranda was already halfway across the yard, and even if she heard him, why would she answer him? He'd been a jerk. Gordo slumped into his seat and turned his head to look at his camera. He didn't even care anymore; suddenly his camera was just an object, just another toy. Suddenly he missed his best friends more than anything in the world.
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Stupid Miranda, with her stupid guilt trip crap. Where's Lizzie? I need to talk to Lizzie. What did Miranda mean she's waiting around? I haven't talked to Lizzie, I mean -really- talked to her, in weeks. I've barely seen her, except when we meet at the Digital Beat and around school, and even then we don't really talk. Lizzie gave up; she gave up a long time ago. What is Miranda talking about? And Where the HELL is Lizzie, damn it??
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A/N: There's a little cliffy for ya, I had to throw one in, you can't -truly- enjoy a story unless there's a something there to keep you hanging on :) What do ya'll think so far? Should I even -bother- to continue? Eh? R/R, please :)
Dramaqueen214: Thank you, thank you, thank you for your sweet review. John Mayer rocks, and I love 'Not Myself' the best out of all the songs on his album. That and 'St. Patrick's Day' I'm thinking of doing a story based around that song, whaddya think?
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. The plot is mine. Remember, until I learn how to use italics the '-' means thoughts, scene changes, stressed words, etc.
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Matt is evil. Matt is evil, and stupid, and a loser, and I don't like him. Oh, he thinks he's so smart, 'I'm so mature, I'm so insightful, I'm so perceptive.' You don't know shit, Matt. He IS coming back. He HAS to. I won't let you get to me; I won't let you scare me. I won't give up hope just because you and everyone else have. It's just...you don't understand, Matt, you really don't. I have to wait for him, I have to hang on to this hope because...because when it's gone then...then I'm gone too. It's all I have left of him, the hope that he'll be him again. And if I don't have that, if I don't have the dream of Gordo, then I don't have anything. Don't you get it Matt? I'm not me without him. I can't be me without him. I don't know how. And I have to keep believing that I still have him, somewhere, and he'll come back, he will. He has to. Because I'm waiting for him. I'll always be waiting for him.
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"Gordo." Miranda sighed a little as Gordo waved his hand at her, signaling her to hold on.
"Gordo, it's really..." Another wave. Miranda was getting tired of his stupid hand and was ready to bite it off he didn't put down his damn camera and just talk to her. She hated that his camera and his new camera friends were more important than she was now. She hated it more that his new camera and his new camera friends were more important than Lizzie was now, cause Lizzie was the one that was hurting.
"Gordo, will you just put that..." This time Gordo did put the camera down, very gently, before whipping his head around to face her. Annoyance and anger burned in his eyes and Miranda wondered how he was able to set his camera down so gingerly with that much anger swirling around inside.
"What?! For Christ's sake Miranda, what do you want?" His tone was biting, and edgy, and Miranda had to clench and unclench her fists, taking a deep breath, before she spoke. She wanted to -talk- with Gordo, not -fight-.
"I want to talk to you, you think you can pull yourself away from your precious video camera, long enough to have a chat with an old friend?" Miranda didn't bother being friendly about the situation, not if Gordo had already decided that friendly wasn't necessary. She smiled sickeningly sweet and rolled her eyes when Gordo sighed heavily, as if she'd asked him to give his life for her.
"I'm busy, talk to me later." He was just about to turn back to his camera when Miranda jumped up and grabbed it before he could.
"You'll be busy talking camera talk with your friends later, I want to talk to you now." She held the camera behind her back, where he couldn't get it, and stared at him, unfazed, as he glared at her.
"Miranda, seriously, I'm busy, now can you just give me..." Miranda scoffed, not wanting to hear him ask for what had taken her and Lizzie's place in his life.
"You're always busy now Gordo. You're playing with your camera, or your camera nerd friends, or whatthehell else you have going on. It's like you're not even you anymore, what's with that? I understand you really enjoy filming, but what happened to me? What happened to Lizzie? You know, you're -true- friends? Maybe you should evaluate your friendships, cause they seem to me to be a little mixed up." Miranda sat down next to Gordo, on the table part of the lunch table. She rested her elbows on her knees and examined the camera, trying to figure out just -what- was so interesting about it.
"My friendships are fine, Miranda." Gordo answered, with an exasperated sigh. Somehow, deep down, he knew this was coming. When he saw Miranda across the school lunch yard, walking towards him, determination etched on her face, he knew he was in for a confrontation. And he knew what the confrontation was most likely about, although he didn't think it was necessary since it didn't seem like Lizzie was bothered too much about him not hanging out with them as much as he used to. He closed his eyes and willed Miranda to just go away and leave him alone.
"You're friendships used to be fine, but now your friendships are completely skewered. You spend all your time with a bunch of geeks who only hang out with you because you have a camera. You're not even friends with me and Lizzie anymore." Miranda didn't even bother hiding the bitterness in her voice, although she made sure to keep any kind of sadness out. She wouldn't give Gordo the pleasure of knowing it still saddened her to know that she pretty much lost one of the best friends she'd ever known. He didn't deserve it, not after ditching her and Lizzie like bad habits for a freaking -camera-.
"What? Miranda what are you talking about? I hang out with you guys every week; we go to the Digital Bean every Saturday, look at us now, hanging out. What the hell is that supposed to mean 'I'm not friends with you anymore'?" Ok, so most of the shock in his voice was faked, Gordo kinda knew she'd feel that way. He supposed she was right, he hadn't really been around much, not as much as he used to be. And yeah, he had a lot of other things he did now, but that didn't mean he didn't still consider Lizzie and Miranda his -friends-, they'd always be his best friends. Right?
"I mean just what I said. You aren't friends with us anymore. Sure you hang out with us sometimes, but you're mind is always off somewhere. You always go on about cameras, and when we're talking your eyes just glaze over and you don't even listen. Yeah you talk to us, and you meet us places, and we hang out sometimes, but you aren't -with- us. You haven't been for awhile." Miranda tried really, really hard to keep from showing she was sad, but it wasn't easy seeing as how the lump in her throat was making her voice crack a little. She tried to swallow, and took a few deep breaths; she really didn't want Gordo to know he wasn't just hurting Lizzie. She's supposed to be stronger than that, she didn't need Gordo, she really didn't.
"I don't know what you're talking about, and I'm busy, so go away." Gordo had to force the annoyance into his voice. In reality he felt tired, he wanted to go somewhere and lie down, and sleep, and just not think about anything Miranda was saying. He knew she was right, and he didn't miss the way her eyes glassed over with the beginnings of tears. He thought maybe that's what was making him feel so awful, because Miranda never cried, never. She'd always been a rock; never letting anyone hurt her to the point of tears. She'd always been an expert about brushing herself off and moving on. And here she was, fighting back tears, because of -him-. Gordo wanted to go home and forget this day.
"Fine, whatever, I give up. I don't see how Lizzie can keep waiting around when you're obviously gone." She huffed an angry sigh, and put his camera down before jumping off the table. This was a waste of time, she should have known she wouldn't be able to get through to him. He'd always been stubborn as a mule. But he didn't even flinch when she almost started crying. That wasn't like the Gordo she used to know at all. -I guess he really is gone. I should have known.- Miranda sighed sadly and turned to leave, but was stopped by Gordo's confused voice.
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Lizzie? Waiting around? Gordo knew she had to be wrong, she was mistaken, she had to be. Lizzie wasn't waiting for him, she never watched him anymore, she didn't care, she stopped caring a long time ago. -Didn't she?-
"Nothing. You've got work to do." Gordo wanted to reach out and grab Miranda and make her tell him what she meant. He had to know. Was Lizzie waiting for him? Did Lizzie get it? Did she understand all the times he'd asked her to wait? Why didn't she watch him anymore? Did she still care? She couldn't, he never saw her watch him anymore, he thought she stopped watching a long time ago.
"Miranda..." He called, he couldn't just let her walk away without explaining what she meant. But it was too late, Miranda was already halfway across the yard, and even if she heard him, why would she answer him? He'd been a jerk. Gordo slumped into his seat and turned his head to look at his camera. He didn't even care anymore; suddenly his camera was just an object, just another toy. Suddenly he missed his best friends more than anything in the world.
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Stupid Miranda, with her stupid guilt trip crap. Where's Lizzie? I need to talk to Lizzie. What did Miranda mean she's waiting around? I haven't talked to Lizzie, I mean -really- talked to her, in weeks. I've barely seen her, except when we meet at the Digital Beat and around school, and even then we don't really talk. Lizzie gave up; she gave up a long time ago. What is Miranda talking about? And Where the HELL is Lizzie, damn it??
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A/N: There's a little cliffy for ya, I had to throw one in, you can't -truly- enjoy a story unless there's a something there to keep you hanging on :) What do ya'll think so far? Should I even -bother- to continue? Eh? R/R, please :)