A/N: Ok kiddies! This is the last chapter of THIS story. Don't worry, I've got another one on the way within a day or two :) So let me know what ya'll think, ok? Should I write another story? What do ya'll think of a sequal? Give me your thoughts, mkay? Thanks muchos! Ok, so this chapter might be a little confusing to everyone, but in the end it will all come together :)
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie related. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. The plot is all mine.
Need-to-know's: The '-'s will serve as indicators for thoughts, stressed words, scene changes, etc. Until I learn how to use italics.
---
"Oomph!" Gordo, who was on his way to the home of the only person who could answer the questions flying around in his head and his heart, felt his head connect with solid flesh and felt the piercing pain course through his skull.
"Ow, Jeez!" Lizzie, who was walking home from school, deep in thought, almost fell flat on her back as her head slammed into something very hard, and painful, and...Oh God, where those stars flying around her head?
"Damn it, sorry I wasn't watching where I was going." Gordo? What? Wow. Yeah, that's Gordo. Rubbing his chin and grimacing. Oh, Lizzie ran into Gordo. Perfect, she wondered how quickly she could come up with an excuse to leave.
"Neither was I, sorry Gordo." Lizzie. What luck, just the person he was looking for. Wow, she looked tired, and sad, and...Oh God, hasn't she been eating?
"Oh, hey Liz. I was actually just looking for you." What? Gordo was looking for Lizzie? Lizzie's mind reeled. What did he want with her?
"Oh yeah? What's up?" Miranda messed with Gordo's head. Lizzie needed to fix it.
"Um, Miranda said some weird stuff, and I thought I should ask you about it." Stupid Miranda, stupid Miranda, -stupid Miranda!- Lizzie really didn't like Miranda right now. She should have known Miranda would try to play 'Ms. Fix It' after the talk they had about Gordo this morning. Why wasn't she prepared for this?
"Uh, ok. I was just heading home, Matt should be over at Lanny's, and my folks aren't home. You wanna talk there?" No, no, no. Gordo does NOT want to be at Lizzie's house. Alone. With her looking so vulnerable and fragile and hurt, and. No, it was NOT a good idea. Gordo and Lizzie. Alone. Together. This was going to be a lot harder than Gordo thought.
"Sure, let's go." Just be cool. Just be cool. Breathe, don't forget to breathe. In and out. Don't be nervous.
"Here we are, come on in. We can go on up to my room. Um, It's messy. I've uh...gotten a little, ya know, unorganized. Been busy. And stuff. Here I'll move some stuff, go ahead and sit down." Gordo sat down. Didn't Lizzie used to be pretty neat? Shee did. Wow, what happened? What a mess. Lizzie sat down next to Gordo. Gordo looked nervous and tired. Lizzie looked sad and broken. What a mess.
"So, I wanted to talk to you." Oh, right. Talking.
"Right, so, you said something about Miranda?" Miranda and her freaking meddling. She probably had all this planned.
"Yeah, she was...I mean she said something about...I dunno, something about me not being your friend anymore or having messed up friendships or whatever. And...she said you. Well something about you noticing or something? I just kinda wanted to...ya know, talk to you. About...you know, that." Gordo was stuttering. He was stuttering, and mumbling, and not making much sense. This is new. Gordo, who's always been so well spoken and put together, was slipping up. He wasn't much together right now. But what did that mean?
"Oh, really? Miranda thinks you're not...? But...you are. Right? I mean, you're still...you're still one of us right? You're still...you're still my, um, -our- friend, right?" What the...? Why does everyone keep thinking Gordo isn't their friend anymore?
"Yes! I mean, god, yeah I'm still your friend. Best friend. Aren't I? I've just...I've just been busy. I mean, filming, and The Film Club, and now there's this producer guy that wants to check out one of my films, and that's...like, wow! I can't pass that up, and...I mean I'm just busy, that doesn't mean we aren't friends. Right?" Did someone kick Gordo out of all his old friendships and not tell him?
"Yeah, of course! I mean, it was just...you weren't really around much. You've been so busy with all your other stuff, we didn't know. I mean they thought you. Everyone just got a little worried. About you. And...I guess. Well, you know, how you're kinda distant and. They just kinda...missed you." They. They missed Gordo? What...what about 'we'? What about...what about Lizzie?
"You...you didn't. I mean, I'm still here and everything but. You didn't miss me...or anything? You're still...you-" Ok take a deep breath. Get it together. Don't fall apart.
"I did. I missed you. But I knew...I mean I hoped you. I hoped there wasn't any reason to miss you. Cause you know, you said. I mean you asked me to...I was just waiting. You know. Like you said to. I was waiting." Ok look away. Don't look at his eyes, they're too clear. God, don't look at him. Look at the wall. The wall is nice. Nice and not clear and not beautiful and not enchanting. The wall is safe.
"You. You were waiting? Really? I thought. I mean I didn't know you were. I thought you didn't, you know, understand. Or didn't..." Care. Gordo thought Lizzie didn't care anymore. Didn't care at all. The thought hurt him, it -killed- him, and it killed her to know he actually thought she would stop caring about -him-. There was a lot of pain in the small room they had inhabited.
"No! No I did. I've just. I'm still waiting, I mean I always will. I've just been less...I thought you were getting tired of me always being around and stuff. I dunno. I just thought you needed time to be, you know, alone or something. So I've just been waiting...away...from...you. But I care, I still care, and I'm still waiting." Always waiting. Lizzie would always wait. But...maybe Gordo didn't need her to anymore. Maybe...maybe he was ok. Maybe...maybe Lizzie was wrong all alone and maybe she wasn't supposed to wait. Lizzie was having trouble breathing; her heart seemed have drowned somewhere deep inside. Her eyes stung, and she swallowed thickly, she didn't want to make Gordo feel bad for her by crying like a little baby.
"You...you understood? You didn't...you cared? You waited? You're still waiting?" Waiting for Gordo. Because she cares. Because she...Gordo felt his skip a beat, or two, or -three-. His hands were sweating and he was having trouble looking at Lizzie, he knew that if he did he would cry. Or do something equally unattractive that would cause Lizzie to throw him out of her room, out of her life, for being such an emotional freak and thinking that -he- deserved to cry after what he did to -her-.
"I'll always wait Gordo. Because...because I need you. Because I...because I lov - " Gordo stopped Lizzie. He put his hand on her small, soft hand and held it.
"Hey Lizzie, what would you do if...if I told you something you probably didn't know? Like...like suppose I said I got lost, and I forgot who I was for awhile and...and didn't know where I was going. Suppose I said I kinda...kinda got swallowed up by this world of unimportant things and was drowning in it and I couldn't hang on to anything. And...and suppose I said I was like...I was calling for help and I didn't think anyone could hear me but. But you did, and...and you saved me. Suppose...suppose I said you...you're my saving grace?" Gordo was whispering now. Because it feels like a secret. It is a secret. Because no one knows. Gordo didn't even know. Until now. Until Lizzie saved him and really did become his saving grace. And he needed Lizzie to know, Lizzie deserved to know.
"I...I'd-" Wait, Gordo squeezed Lizzie's hand lightly, letting her know he wasn't done yet.
"Because I know you don't know that. I mean, -I- didn't even know before, but I know now and I know you don't know and. You're so...I didn't even -know-, you know? That you were waiting. That you still cared. Because I needed you to care, and I didn't know...I thought...I thought you didn't anymore. And I couldn't. I didn't want to be me if I couldn't have you as a part of me. And if you didn't care, then you wouldn't be a part of me and I wouldn't be able to -be- me. Because really I'm not me, without you, I'm -not-. I'm...I'm someone else. And...and you still care. And you waited and its...it -is- like you saved me. And you -are- my saving grace. And you...you have to know that because...because you don't, and you -need- to." Shut up, shut up, shut -up-. Gordo felt like he was talking and talking and nothing is coming out right and nothing is making sense. He wanted to cry, he wanted to get on his knees and beg to be understood, he wanted to hold her and make her understand, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to make sense of all the feelings and emotions inside his heart. But Lizzie understood everything. And Lizzie understood that she doesn't need to wait anymore. Gordo is Gordo again. And Lizzie is Lizzie again. And...
"I love you." Lizzie had to make sure Gordo knew.
"I love you too." Gordo had to make sure Lizzie knew. And now they both knew. And they were back. And they were together. And it's ok now.
"Well it's about DAMN time!" The door to the bedroom flung open and in came Miranda and Matt, grinning like a couple of freaking bafoons. Stupid Miranda. She DID plan this. They smiled widly at each other, and then at their two friends who finally found their way back to each other, and applauding as if it were a happily ending movie. Not that Lizzie and Gordo noticed. Because Lizzie's lips are soft, and it's like paradise. And Gordo's hands are gentle, and it's like heaven. And there are promises of forever. And they'll both always wait for each other.
-End-
A/N: And there it is!! My very FIRST LM fanfic, how was it? Ok, I know this chapter was probably pretty confusing. But it's supposed to be like a jumble, a mess, you know? They're both nervous, and scared, and confused. They're trying to organize they're thoughts and everything is coming out wrong. I wanted it to be real, with the stuttering, and the unfinished thoughts. The reason I don't have any '-'s around the thoughts is because sometimes it's both of them thinking the same thing, and it wouldn't be as real. If it's too confusing to everyone, then I'll just take it down and make some revisions. This was kinda an experiment. So...there's that. So, let me know if you thought it was pure crap or whatever, mkay? LOL, and I'll have another story out shortly :)
Disclaimer: Disney owns all things Lizzie related. John Mayer owns the pretty, pretty song. The plot is all mine.
Need-to-know's: The '-'s will serve as indicators for thoughts, stressed words, scene changes, etc. Until I learn how to use italics.
---
"Oomph!" Gordo, who was on his way to the home of the only person who could answer the questions flying around in his head and his heart, felt his head connect with solid flesh and felt the piercing pain course through his skull.
"Ow, Jeez!" Lizzie, who was walking home from school, deep in thought, almost fell flat on her back as her head slammed into something very hard, and painful, and...Oh God, where those stars flying around her head?
"Damn it, sorry I wasn't watching where I was going." Gordo? What? Wow. Yeah, that's Gordo. Rubbing his chin and grimacing. Oh, Lizzie ran into Gordo. Perfect, she wondered how quickly she could come up with an excuse to leave.
"Neither was I, sorry Gordo." Lizzie. What luck, just the person he was looking for. Wow, she looked tired, and sad, and...Oh God, hasn't she been eating?
"Oh, hey Liz. I was actually just looking for you." What? Gordo was looking for Lizzie? Lizzie's mind reeled. What did he want with her?
"Oh yeah? What's up?" Miranda messed with Gordo's head. Lizzie needed to fix it.
"Um, Miranda said some weird stuff, and I thought I should ask you about it." Stupid Miranda, stupid Miranda, -stupid Miranda!- Lizzie really didn't like Miranda right now. She should have known Miranda would try to play 'Ms. Fix It' after the talk they had about Gordo this morning. Why wasn't she prepared for this?
"Uh, ok. I was just heading home, Matt should be over at Lanny's, and my folks aren't home. You wanna talk there?" No, no, no. Gordo does NOT want to be at Lizzie's house. Alone. With her looking so vulnerable and fragile and hurt, and. No, it was NOT a good idea. Gordo and Lizzie. Alone. Together. This was going to be a lot harder than Gordo thought.
"Sure, let's go." Just be cool. Just be cool. Breathe, don't forget to breathe. In and out. Don't be nervous.
"Here we are, come on in. We can go on up to my room. Um, It's messy. I've uh...gotten a little, ya know, unorganized. Been busy. And stuff. Here I'll move some stuff, go ahead and sit down." Gordo sat down. Didn't Lizzie used to be pretty neat? Shee did. Wow, what happened? What a mess. Lizzie sat down next to Gordo. Gordo looked nervous and tired. Lizzie looked sad and broken. What a mess.
"So, I wanted to talk to you." Oh, right. Talking.
"Right, so, you said something about Miranda?" Miranda and her freaking meddling. She probably had all this planned.
"Yeah, she was...I mean she said something about...I dunno, something about me not being your friend anymore or having messed up friendships or whatever. And...she said you. Well something about you noticing or something? I just kinda wanted to...ya know, talk to you. About...you know, that." Gordo was stuttering. He was stuttering, and mumbling, and not making much sense. This is new. Gordo, who's always been so well spoken and put together, was slipping up. He wasn't much together right now. But what did that mean?
"Oh, really? Miranda thinks you're not...? But...you are. Right? I mean, you're still...you're still one of us right? You're still...you're still my, um, -our- friend, right?" What the...? Why does everyone keep thinking Gordo isn't their friend anymore?
"Yes! I mean, god, yeah I'm still your friend. Best friend. Aren't I? I've just...I've just been busy. I mean, filming, and The Film Club, and now there's this producer guy that wants to check out one of my films, and that's...like, wow! I can't pass that up, and...I mean I'm just busy, that doesn't mean we aren't friends. Right?" Did someone kick Gordo out of all his old friendships and not tell him?
"Yeah, of course! I mean, it was just...you weren't really around much. You've been so busy with all your other stuff, we didn't know. I mean they thought you. Everyone just got a little worried. About you. And...I guess. Well, you know, how you're kinda distant and. They just kinda...missed you." They. They missed Gordo? What...what about 'we'? What about...what about Lizzie?
"You...you didn't. I mean, I'm still here and everything but. You didn't miss me...or anything? You're still...you-" Ok take a deep breath. Get it together. Don't fall apart.
"I did. I missed you. But I knew...I mean I hoped you. I hoped there wasn't any reason to miss you. Cause you know, you said. I mean you asked me to...I was just waiting. You know. Like you said to. I was waiting." Ok look away. Don't look at his eyes, they're too clear. God, don't look at him. Look at the wall. The wall is nice. Nice and not clear and not beautiful and not enchanting. The wall is safe.
"You. You were waiting? Really? I thought. I mean I didn't know you were. I thought you didn't, you know, understand. Or didn't..." Care. Gordo thought Lizzie didn't care anymore. Didn't care at all. The thought hurt him, it -killed- him, and it killed her to know he actually thought she would stop caring about -him-. There was a lot of pain in the small room they had inhabited.
"No! No I did. I've just. I'm still waiting, I mean I always will. I've just been less...I thought you were getting tired of me always being around and stuff. I dunno. I just thought you needed time to be, you know, alone or something. So I've just been waiting...away...from...you. But I care, I still care, and I'm still waiting." Always waiting. Lizzie would always wait. But...maybe Gordo didn't need her to anymore. Maybe...maybe he was ok. Maybe...maybe Lizzie was wrong all alone and maybe she wasn't supposed to wait. Lizzie was having trouble breathing; her heart seemed have drowned somewhere deep inside. Her eyes stung, and she swallowed thickly, she didn't want to make Gordo feel bad for her by crying like a little baby.
"You...you understood? You didn't...you cared? You waited? You're still waiting?" Waiting for Gordo. Because she cares. Because she...Gordo felt his skip a beat, or two, or -three-. His hands were sweating and he was having trouble looking at Lizzie, he knew that if he did he would cry. Or do something equally unattractive that would cause Lizzie to throw him out of her room, out of her life, for being such an emotional freak and thinking that -he- deserved to cry after what he did to -her-.
"I'll always wait Gordo. Because...because I need you. Because I...because I lov - " Gordo stopped Lizzie. He put his hand on her small, soft hand and held it.
"Hey Lizzie, what would you do if...if I told you something you probably didn't know? Like...like suppose I said I got lost, and I forgot who I was for awhile and...and didn't know where I was going. Suppose I said I kinda...kinda got swallowed up by this world of unimportant things and was drowning in it and I couldn't hang on to anything. And...and suppose I said I was like...I was calling for help and I didn't think anyone could hear me but. But you did, and...and you saved me. Suppose...suppose I said you...you're my saving grace?" Gordo was whispering now. Because it feels like a secret. It is a secret. Because no one knows. Gordo didn't even know. Until now. Until Lizzie saved him and really did become his saving grace. And he needed Lizzie to know, Lizzie deserved to know.
"I...I'd-" Wait, Gordo squeezed Lizzie's hand lightly, letting her know he wasn't done yet.
"Because I know you don't know that. I mean, -I- didn't even know before, but I know now and I know you don't know and. You're so...I didn't even -know-, you know? That you were waiting. That you still cared. Because I needed you to care, and I didn't know...I thought...I thought you didn't anymore. And I couldn't. I didn't want to be me if I couldn't have you as a part of me. And if you didn't care, then you wouldn't be a part of me and I wouldn't be able to -be- me. Because really I'm not me, without you, I'm -not-. I'm...I'm someone else. And...and you still care. And you waited and its...it -is- like you saved me. And you -are- my saving grace. And you...you have to know that because...because you don't, and you -need- to." Shut up, shut up, shut -up-. Gordo felt like he was talking and talking and nothing is coming out right and nothing is making sense. He wanted to cry, he wanted to get on his knees and beg to be understood, he wanted to hold her and make her understand, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to make sense of all the feelings and emotions inside his heart. But Lizzie understood everything. And Lizzie understood that she doesn't need to wait anymore. Gordo is Gordo again. And Lizzie is Lizzie again. And...
"I love you." Lizzie had to make sure Gordo knew.
"I love you too." Gordo had to make sure Lizzie knew. And now they both knew. And they were back. And they were together. And it's ok now.
"Well it's about DAMN time!" The door to the bedroom flung open and in came Miranda and Matt, grinning like a couple of freaking bafoons. Stupid Miranda. She DID plan this. They smiled widly at each other, and then at their two friends who finally found their way back to each other, and applauding as if it were a happily ending movie. Not that Lizzie and Gordo noticed. Because Lizzie's lips are soft, and it's like paradise. And Gordo's hands are gentle, and it's like heaven. And there are promises of forever. And they'll both always wait for each other.
-End-
A/N: And there it is!! My very FIRST LM fanfic, how was it? Ok, I know this chapter was probably pretty confusing. But it's supposed to be like a jumble, a mess, you know? They're both nervous, and scared, and confused. They're trying to organize they're thoughts and everything is coming out wrong. I wanted it to be real, with the stuttering, and the unfinished thoughts. The reason I don't have any '-'s around the thoughts is because sometimes it's both of them thinking the same thing, and it wouldn't be as real. If it's too confusing to everyone, then I'll just take it down and make some revisions. This was kinda an experiment. So...there's that. So, let me know if you thought it was pure crap or whatever, mkay? LOL, and I'll have another story out shortly :)