Child at Heart
Chapter 1
" You don't understand." He always says. And he is right. We don't understand. We never understood, and maybe we never will.
" You don't understand." He says, and that is true. There is so much we didn't know. How can we understand?
And he has the right to hate us. He has the right to scorn us, to rage against us in his fury. He has the right to do anything in the name of loneliness and despair. Because the pain of not being understood is one of the most unbearable forces there is.
" You don't understand."
It really wasn't because we didn't try. He was always so distant, caring only for his little brother, who also does not understand. We never knew he was only fifteen years old. We never knew that he was depressed. Sure, we knew that he was young; he was an orphan, burdened with the responsibilities of taking care of a younger sibling as well as handling business. But still we didn't understand. No one does. A person like him is rare. Rare to behold.
Darn it!
" You don't understand." Do you have any idea how frustrating those three words are? When one tries their best and still doesn't understand, the patience wears thin. For both sides. We don't understand. And we knew it. It wasn't because we didn't try. We just couldn't. It wasn't because of any other reason. Sure, we knew that he had been through a lot, and the updates are harsh upon him. But still we didn't understand.
The fact is, he saw through us clearly. He didn't believe us simpletons. He believed we were just ignorant. He didn't have patience for the ignorant, and it wasn't his fault. So many years of dealing with the ignorant. Have you ever tried to deal with someone who is as old as you are, but has a mind of a two year old? Who keeps on making you lose your face in shame all the time, simply because he or she is being who they are? Well, one can understand why he gradually lost his mind. We didn't understand. And because we didn't understand, he thought we didn't care. And that led to a lot of things.
Curse it-that led to a lot of things.
It began on the day when Yugi and I went over outside to the park to find him on one of the benches. He was dozing. Dozing, silent and mute, with no movement at all.
" Ano, Seto?" Yugi said shyly. But he didn't wake up.
" Kaiba?"
With a start, as if my voice was a spell, he woke up, blinking his tired eyes at us.
" What do you want?" He asked, not impressed, not aggravated either. He was very calm.
I found this to be quite strange.
" We just thought we can sit and chat a while-unless you have work to do." Yugi said sheepishly.
He considered this for a moment, then looked at us.
" I have nothing for the time being." He answered quietly. " What brings you here?"
This manner shocked me even more. But I kept quiet.
" Well, Yami and I were just here." Yugi shrugged. " we just bumped into this bench over here."
He just closed his eyes and said nothing.
" Are you alright?" Yugi asked.
His behavior was too abnormal. He looked pale and thin. Before I could stop myself I reached forward and felt his forehead.
He jumped. He looked at me weirdly. I withdrew my hand.
" You're hot." I commented.
He closed his eyes again.
" Alright. What's going on?" Yugi sat down beside him. And that was when he said the cursed three words.
" You don't understand."
After a while we could get no more out of him. He seemed to have fallen back asleep. I found it strange that he should have nothing to do, even stranger that he didn't respond haughtily at us. I came to the conclusion that he was sick.
I didn't understand. Neither did Yugi. After a while he just stood up and left us there, returning to his office. He didn't even say goodbye.
Days later we received a phone call.
It was from Mokuba. And he was crying.
" He's not waking up!" He sobbed. " He's not waking up! I tried to wake him but he never did!"
" Alright, calm down Mokuba." I told him sternly. " Yugi and I will be right there."
When we got there he did wake up. But he looked paler then when we last saw him.
" I'm fine." Was all he said. And the strangest part was, there were no comments of annoyance, no glares. Just simple and truthful. " I'm fine."
I wasn't convinced.
" Mokuba called us for a reason, Kaiba." I told him. " Now tell us what's going on."
" You don't understand." Was all he said. " I must get to work now."
" You're not going anywhere." I blocked him. " Somehow, I have a queer feeling about you."
" I've been feeling queer all along." Was his strange reply. " But that's just who I am."
" I'm not in the mood for such nonsense, Kaiba,"
" Good, because I'm not in the mood for it either. I appreciate your concern. But I will be running late."
What choice did I have? I really didn't understand. Reluctantly I let him pass. He disappeared into the car and we watched, looking after him, not sure if it was the right thing to do. Whatever happened to the Great Duelist Champion? Who was this new stranger? And even more curious, why is he acting this way?
" You shouldn't worry so much." Was Joey's reply, " After all, he ain't normal anyways. Been freakin us out ever since we first met him face to face. Why do you care what happens to him anyways?"
" Well, for one thing," Yugi retorted. " You forgot Mokuba. And Mokuba's not freaky."
Joey blushed. " Oops. Forget what I said. Something's really weird about his big brother, that I'll agree. But what makes you think that's bad?"
" He's been very unhealthy these days," I answered stiffly, " And there's this thing called will."
" Will Shmill. Forget about that. Kaiba needs to know a little modesty."
" Look who's talking." Tea smiled.
We chuckled at that, but quickly we went back to him.
" I have a feeling that he's depressed." Bakura suddenly announced, rather timidly. But his words were like thunder.
" Um, maybe..." Yugi thought for a while. " Maybe we can ask him to come over..."
" He and your Gramps haven't settled that score yet." Joey pointed out.
" True, but maybe they will. If he decided to...you know."
" Never happened." Tristan chuckled. " Why?"
" Well, that way he can talk. Or maybe ask Mokuba to talk with him..."
" Then you'll risk having the poor child know what he shouldn't." I answered.
Yugi cocked his head. " We'll...do that last. We can try the coming over thing? Maybe? I mean, we can pick the date when Grandpa is out. He's going on a trip this weekend, and I'm staying to take care of the shop."
" Why not? We can all be here. See who he wants to talk to." Bakura shrugged. " What's there to lose?"
He accepted a little reluctantly. He probably couldn't think of any excuse, although having too much work to do at his office would have worked, but for some reason he didn't talk about his work at all. He tried Mokuba, but Yugi suggested that he could bring Mokuba over as well. For some reason he didn't seem willing to fight, and didn't put up a good fight either. He was indifferent. But he came.
He arrived just before the storm. He had entered for only a few minutes with Mokuba when suddenly there was a loud crack in the air. An unmistakable crack of thunder.
" Shoot." Joey blinked. " It just poured out of nowhere, eh? By the way, I'm hungry!"
" You're always hungry Joey." Tea smiled.
" Do you want something to eat, Seto? I have some fruit, chips and candy bars, unless you like fruit,"
" No. I'm not hungry." Was all he said.
" So what's up with you?" I asked impatiently. I made the question as blunt as possible.
He looked surprised. " What do you mean?"
" Well? You don't look healthy. How do you walk around with a fever anyway? And in case you didn't notice, you haven't talked much either. You're scaring Mokuba. You're scaring Yugi. You're scaring all of us."
" How am I scaring you?" He was still confused.
" The way you act. I know there's something wrong here. Now spill."
To my surprise he laughed, bitterly but not mockingly.
" Yami, Yami." He got the better of his mirth. " You are quite blind. You don't understand. You won't. Even if I told you. This is just the end."
" What are you talking about?" I felt apprehension well up. He was not himself.
" Here. This is part of it. Everyone, listen up." He clapped his hands, attracting confused attention." Let's play a game. Your dear Yami thinks something's wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me really, but something happened over the last few days. Mokuba, don't kill." He had this queer smile that I've never seen before; it looked alien and I didn't like it.
" Riddles. Don't we love them?" He laughed. I knew something was really wrong. I was positive. " Now, if you can guess this, then I'm sure Yami would leave me alone, wouldn't you?
The Shadow Games they play with this, a power that exists in mind...heals in one touch, destroys with one blow, both a blessing and a curse, quenches greed and fills first, more and more it gains...less and less is none. Can you guess what this is?"
The others stared at him as if he was insane. He went on smiling.
" You sure you're thinking today?" Joey asked. " Because...sometimes, some days I don't..."
" You never think." Tea snapped. " Shadow Games they play with...cards...power that exists in mind. The Heart of the Cards?"
He just sat there, with closed eyes, as if asleep.
" Guess not." Bakura blinked. " Come on Mokuba. Tell us."
" No. Big brother says not to." Mokuba smiled mischievously. " It's a secret until you guess it!"
" Ugh!" Joey growled. " What is it? Duel Monsters? Cards? Millenium Items? Come on, give us a clue!"
He opened his eyes and looked at Joey weirdly.
" That is a clue." He said seriously. " And it's the only one you'll get."
" Aww, c'mon!" Tristan begged.
" What is it?" Bakura asked. " Please?"
" Could it be...something with your company?" Yugi asked.
We stared hopefully at him. He gave no answer.
" Magic?" The word just came up to my lips.
" Bingo!" He snapped his fingers, and a ball of flame bursted into fire. " Now, is this a bad thing?"
He held the ball of flame in front of us, waiting.
" Is this some kind of trick?" Joey asked. " Some lame joke?"
" Joke?" He closed his palm, and the flame disappeared. " You don't understand, do you? I don't play tricks like these. I only do it when it concerns the game. But to all other games, Yami's the master. He just guessed it. I have magical powers. And they are quite different from what you're use to."
" Indeed." I agreed. " When did you find out?" I asked after some hesitation.
He turned around and looked at me. " The day we met in the park."
Well that made sense...or so I thought.
After the day when he revealed his little ' secret', he changed again.
He became even more quiet, hardly responsive, and very evasive. He avoids us as much as he could, and only appeared with Mokuba. He became thinner, paler, less healthy, with dark circles under his eyes. And at every question asked, he answers,
" You don't understand."
It was so frustrating, receiving the same answer over and over again without knowing why or how to solve it.
But then I asked him another question.
" Why wouldn't you wake up that day?"
To this he answered appropriately.
" If you must know, I was dreaming a dream. Something of the future."
" Oh? What is it about?"
" Me. What else?"
" What's going on then?"
And that was when I really didn't understand.
" I was free."
Chapter 1
" You don't understand." He always says. And he is right. We don't understand. We never understood, and maybe we never will.
" You don't understand." He says, and that is true. There is so much we didn't know. How can we understand?
And he has the right to hate us. He has the right to scorn us, to rage against us in his fury. He has the right to do anything in the name of loneliness and despair. Because the pain of not being understood is one of the most unbearable forces there is.
" You don't understand."
It really wasn't because we didn't try. He was always so distant, caring only for his little brother, who also does not understand. We never knew he was only fifteen years old. We never knew that he was depressed. Sure, we knew that he was young; he was an orphan, burdened with the responsibilities of taking care of a younger sibling as well as handling business. But still we didn't understand. No one does. A person like him is rare. Rare to behold.
Darn it!
" You don't understand." Do you have any idea how frustrating those three words are? When one tries their best and still doesn't understand, the patience wears thin. For both sides. We don't understand. And we knew it. It wasn't because we didn't try. We just couldn't. It wasn't because of any other reason. Sure, we knew that he had been through a lot, and the updates are harsh upon him. But still we didn't understand.
The fact is, he saw through us clearly. He didn't believe us simpletons. He believed we were just ignorant. He didn't have patience for the ignorant, and it wasn't his fault. So many years of dealing with the ignorant. Have you ever tried to deal with someone who is as old as you are, but has a mind of a two year old? Who keeps on making you lose your face in shame all the time, simply because he or she is being who they are? Well, one can understand why he gradually lost his mind. We didn't understand. And because we didn't understand, he thought we didn't care. And that led to a lot of things.
Curse it-that led to a lot of things.
It began on the day when Yugi and I went over outside to the park to find him on one of the benches. He was dozing. Dozing, silent and mute, with no movement at all.
" Ano, Seto?" Yugi said shyly. But he didn't wake up.
" Kaiba?"
With a start, as if my voice was a spell, he woke up, blinking his tired eyes at us.
" What do you want?" He asked, not impressed, not aggravated either. He was very calm.
I found this to be quite strange.
" We just thought we can sit and chat a while-unless you have work to do." Yugi said sheepishly.
He considered this for a moment, then looked at us.
" I have nothing for the time being." He answered quietly. " What brings you here?"
This manner shocked me even more. But I kept quiet.
" Well, Yami and I were just here." Yugi shrugged. " we just bumped into this bench over here."
He just closed his eyes and said nothing.
" Are you alright?" Yugi asked.
His behavior was too abnormal. He looked pale and thin. Before I could stop myself I reached forward and felt his forehead.
He jumped. He looked at me weirdly. I withdrew my hand.
" You're hot." I commented.
He closed his eyes again.
" Alright. What's going on?" Yugi sat down beside him. And that was when he said the cursed three words.
" You don't understand."
After a while we could get no more out of him. He seemed to have fallen back asleep. I found it strange that he should have nothing to do, even stranger that he didn't respond haughtily at us. I came to the conclusion that he was sick.
I didn't understand. Neither did Yugi. After a while he just stood up and left us there, returning to his office. He didn't even say goodbye.
Days later we received a phone call.
It was from Mokuba. And he was crying.
" He's not waking up!" He sobbed. " He's not waking up! I tried to wake him but he never did!"
" Alright, calm down Mokuba." I told him sternly. " Yugi and I will be right there."
When we got there he did wake up. But he looked paler then when we last saw him.
" I'm fine." Was all he said. And the strangest part was, there were no comments of annoyance, no glares. Just simple and truthful. " I'm fine."
I wasn't convinced.
" Mokuba called us for a reason, Kaiba." I told him. " Now tell us what's going on."
" You don't understand." Was all he said. " I must get to work now."
" You're not going anywhere." I blocked him. " Somehow, I have a queer feeling about you."
" I've been feeling queer all along." Was his strange reply. " But that's just who I am."
" I'm not in the mood for such nonsense, Kaiba,"
" Good, because I'm not in the mood for it either. I appreciate your concern. But I will be running late."
What choice did I have? I really didn't understand. Reluctantly I let him pass. He disappeared into the car and we watched, looking after him, not sure if it was the right thing to do. Whatever happened to the Great Duelist Champion? Who was this new stranger? And even more curious, why is he acting this way?
" You shouldn't worry so much." Was Joey's reply, " After all, he ain't normal anyways. Been freakin us out ever since we first met him face to face. Why do you care what happens to him anyways?"
" Well, for one thing," Yugi retorted. " You forgot Mokuba. And Mokuba's not freaky."
Joey blushed. " Oops. Forget what I said. Something's really weird about his big brother, that I'll agree. But what makes you think that's bad?"
" He's been very unhealthy these days," I answered stiffly, " And there's this thing called will."
" Will Shmill. Forget about that. Kaiba needs to know a little modesty."
" Look who's talking." Tea smiled.
We chuckled at that, but quickly we went back to him.
" I have a feeling that he's depressed." Bakura suddenly announced, rather timidly. But his words were like thunder.
" Um, maybe..." Yugi thought for a while. " Maybe we can ask him to come over..."
" He and your Gramps haven't settled that score yet." Joey pointed out.
" True, but maybe they will. If he decided to...you know."
" Never happened." Tristan chuckled. " Why?"
" Well, that way he can talk. Or maybe ask Mokuba to talk with him..."
" Then you'll risk having the poor child know what he shouldn't." I answered.
Yugi cocked his head. " We'll...do that last. We can try the coming over thing? Maybe? I mean, we can pick the date when Grandpa is out. He's going on a trip this weekend, and I'm staying to take care of the shop."
" Why not? We can all be here. See who he wants to talk to." Bakura shrugged. " What's there to lose?"
He accepted a little reluctantly. He probably couldn't think of any excuse, although having too much work to do at his office would have worked, but for some reason he didn't talk about his work at all. He tried Mokuba, but Yugi suggested that he could bring Mokuba over as well. For some reason he didn't seem willing to fight, and didn't put up a good fight either. He was indifferent. But he came.
He arrived just before the storm. He had entered for only a few minutes with Mokuba when suddenly there was a loud crack in the air. An unmistakable crack of thunder.
" Shoot." Joey blinked. " It just poured out of nowhere, eh? By the way, I'm hungry!"
" You're always hungry Joey." Tea smiled.
" Do you want something to eat, Seto? I have some fruit, chips and candy bars, unless you like fruit,"
" No. I'm not hungry." Was all he said.
" So what's up with you?" I asked impatiently. I made the question as blunt as possible.
He looked surprised. " What do you mean?"
" Well? You don't look healthy. How do you walk around with a fever anyway? And in case you didn't notice, you haven't talked much either. You're scaring Mokuba. You're scaring Yugi. You're scaring all of us."
" How am I scaring you?" He was still confused.
" The way you act. I know there's something wrong here. Now spill."
To my surprise he laughed, bitterly but not mockingly.
" Yami, Yami." He got the better of his mirth. " You are quite blind. You don't understand. You won't. Even if I told you. This is just the end."
" What are you talking about?" I felt apprehension well up. He was not himself.
" Here. This is part of it. Everyone, listen up." He clapped his hands, attracting confused attention." Let's play a game. Your dear Yami thinks something's wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me really, but something happened over the last few days. Mokuba, don't kill." He had this queer smile that I've never seen before; it looked alien and I didn't like it.
" Riddles. Don't we love them?" He laughed. I knew something was really wrong. I was positive. " Now, if you can guess this, then I'm sure Yami would leave me alone, wouldn't you?
The Shadow Games they play with this, a power that exists in mind...heals in one touch, destroys with one blow, both a blessing and a curse, quenches greed and fills first, more and more it gains...less and less is none. Can you guess what this is?"
The others stared at him as if he was insane. He went on smiling.
" You sure you're thinking today?" Joey asked. " Because...sometimes, some days I don't..."
" You never think." Tea snapped. " Shadow Games they play with...cards...power that exists in mind. The Heart of the Cards?"
He just sat there, with closed eyes, as if asleep.
" Guess not." Bakura blinked. " Come on Mokuba. Tell us."
" No. Big brother says not to." Mokuba smiled mischievously. " It's a secret until you guess it!"
" Ugh!" Joey growled. " What is it? Duel Monsters? Cards? Millenium Items? Come on, give us a clue!"
He opened his eyes and looked at Joey weirdly.
" That is a clue." He said seriously. " And it's the only one you'll get."
" Aww, c'mon!" Tristan begged.
" What is it?" Bakura asked. " Please?"
" Could it be...something with your company?" Yugi asked.
We stared hopefully at him. He gave no answer.
" Magic?" The word just came up to my lips.
" Bingo!" He snapped his fingers, and a ball of flame bursted into fire. " Now, is this a bad thing?"
He held the ball of flame in front of us, waiting.
" Is this some kind of trick?" Joey asked. " Some lame joke?"
" Joke?" He closed his palm, and the flame disappeared. " You don't understand, do you? I don't play tricks like these. I only do it when it concerns the game. But to all other games, Yami's the master. He just guessed it. I have magical powers. And they are quite different from what you're use to."
" Indeed." I agreed. " When did you find out?" I asked after some hesitation.
He turned around and looked at me. " The day we met in the park."
Well that made sense...or so I thought.
After the day when he revealed his little ' secret', he changed again.
He became even more quiet, hardly responsive, and very evasive. He avoids us as much as he could, and only appeared with Mokuba. He became thinner, paler, less healthy, with dark circles under his eyes. And at every question asked, he answers,
" You don't understand."
It was so frustrating, receiving the same answer over and over again without knowing why or how to solve it.
But then I asked him another question.
" Why wouldn't you wake up that day?"
To this he answered appropriately.
" If you must know, I was dreaming a dream. Something of the future."
" Oh? What is it about?"
" Me. What else?"
" What's going on then?"
And that was when I really didn't understand.
" I was free."