A/N And some more…
Attack of the Love Scene(s)
Sloppy bit #1: ANAKIN and PADME sit on the sofa together in front of a roaring fire.
PADME: Our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: Why?
PADME: Because you are Jedi.
ANAKIN: So?
PADME: And I'm a senator.
ANAKIN: Yes?
PADME: So our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: Screw that, let's shag.
Sloppy Bit #2. ANAKIN and PADME are alone together. The AUDIENCE immediately become aware of what is coming.
AUDIENCE: Groan…not again…
ANAKIN: Padme, let's shag.
PADME: We cannot. Our love is doomed.
ANAKIN: All the more reason to get some in while we can.
PADME: But our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: (Screwing up his face in that kid-having-a-tantrum way) You still haven't explained WHY.
PADME: Because….because…
ANAKIN: Yes!?
PADME: I'm really a man.
ANAKIN: Really?
PADME: No.
Sloppy bit #3. ANAKIN has just violently killed the scruffy things that nicked his mother.
ANAKIN: They were like animals. I shagged…I mean slaughtered them like animals.
PADME: Our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: Oh, change the record! (pause) This is all Obi-Wan's fault.
PADME: Um…sorry, I don't really see the connection.
AUDIENCE: Neither do we. Accept your responsibilities, you little freak!
ANAKIN: If I was all-powerful, I could've saved her…I want to be master of the universe - then I'll conquer death!
LITERARY AUDIENCE MEMBER: Methinks this smacks of Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein'.
THNKS-HE'S-INTELLECTUAL AUDIENCE MEMBER: Aha, I see. Anakin is the Chosen One, he who shall restore balance, conceived by the Living Force - immaculate conception. Thus he is the representation in this universe of Jesus Christ. However, he rebels, and falls into darkness, becoming an incarnation of evil, while his son, in fact, goes on to redeem the sins of the universe. Hmm. Thus, I argue that Anakin is in fact a representation not of Christ but of Satan, who fell from favour when he desired to become as powerful as God. That suggests that in reality, Anakin was cast down by the Force. Interesting.
ANAKIN: Hey! Would you mind shutting up during my 'Dramatic Anger Nervous Breakdown' scene? It's the best acting I do in this movie.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Apologies.
ANAKIN: Anyway, I wasn't conceived by the Living Force. My mother was shagging a tramp, she just didn't want to admit it.
Sloppy bit #4: ANAKIN and PADME wait for certain death.
ANAKIN: We are waiting for certain death. (Pause). Let's shag.
PADME: OK.
They shag, as the cart is wheeled out into the arena. They are being watched by many eyes.
MANY EYES: Wow! Go on my son!
MANY EYES make 'wham bam thank you ma'am' gestures.
OBI-WAN: (Tied to a stake) I am filled with shame. (Shouting, to ANAKIN) I hope you remembered to use protection, my lad!
ANAKIN: Screw you!
PADME: He can wait his turn.
Attack of the Love Scene(s)
Sloppy bit #1: ANAKIN and PADME sit on the sofa together in front of a roaring fire.
PADME: Our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: Why?
PADME: Because you are Jedi.
ANAKIN: So?
PADME: And I'm a senator.
ANAKIN: Yes?
PADME: So our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: Screw that, let's shag.
Sloppy Bit #2. ANAKIN and PADME are alone together. The AUDIENCE immediately become aware of what is coming.
AUDIENCE: Groan…not again…
ANAKIN: Padme, let's shag.
PADME: We cannot. Our love is doomed.
ANAKIN: All the more reason to get some in while we can.
PADME: But our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: (Screwing up his face in that kid-having-a-tantrum way) You still haven't explained WHY.
PADME: Because….because…
ANAKIN: Yes!?
PADME: I'm really a man.
ANAKIN: Really?
PADME: No.
Sloppy bit #3. ANAKIN has just violently killed the scruffy things that nicked his mother.
ANAKIN: They were like animals. I shagged…I mean slaughtered them like animals.
PADME: Our love cannot be.
ANAKIN: Oh, change the record! (pause) This is all Obi-Wan's fault.
PADME: Um…sorry, I don't really see the connection.
AUDIENCE: Neither do we. Accept your responsibilities, you little freak!
ANAKIN: If I was all-powerful, I could've saved her…I want to be master of the universe - then I'll conquer death!
LITERARY AUDIENCE MEMBER: Methinks this smacks of Mary Shelley's 'Frankenstein'.
THNKS-HE'S-INTELLECTUAL AUDIENCE MEMBER: Aha, I see. Anakin is the Chosen One, he who shall restore balance, conceived by the Living Force - immaculate conception. Thus he is the representation in this universe of Jesus Christ. However, he rebels, and falls into darkness, becoming an incarnation of evil, while his son, in fact, goes on to redeem the sins of the universe. Hmm. Thus, I argue that Anakin is in fact a representation not of Christ but of Satan, who fell from favour when he desired to become as powerful as God. That suggests that in reality, Anakin was cast down by the Force. Interesting.
ANAKIN: Hey! Would you mind shutting up during my 'Dramatic Anger Nervous Breakdown' scene? It's the best acting I do in this movie.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Apologies.
ANAKIN: Anyway, I wasn't conceived by the Living Force. My mother was shagging a tramp, she just didn't want to admit it.
Sloppy bit #4: ANAKIN and PADME wait for certain death.
ANAKIN: We are waiting for certain death. (Pause). Let's shag.
PADME: OK.
They shag, as the cart is wheeled out into the arena. They are being watched by many eyes.
MANY EYES: Wow! Go on my son!
MANY EYES make 'wham bam thank you ma'am' gestures.
OBI-WAN: (Tied to a stake) I am filled with shame. (Shouting, to ANAKIN) I hope you remembered to use protection, my lad!
ANAKIN: Screw you!
PADME: He can wait his turn.