Night Of The Boogeyman, chapter 3
By Jake Denton (kingcobra49036@yahoo.com)
NOTE: Sorry this took so long, but with all the things I've been busy with, it gets harder to write in my free time.
17. Int. Curtis House - Lainie's bedroom - minutes later
Entering the room, allowing the DOOR to SLAM SHUT behind her, Lainie tosses her books onto her bed, and flops down onto the mattress, intending to take a nap.
CRASH!
LAINIE gets up off the floor, and stares at the newly destroyed mattress on her hardwood floor. The support beams for the mattress have given out and the bed has hit the floor.
LAINIE
Dammit!
(pause. She's pissed.)
I'll have to sue Sealy Posture-pedic.
PAN BEHIND LAINIE as she crosses over to the window, gazing out contentedly, then looks over to her left...
At the masked figure standing in the backyard next door.
CLOSE Lainie stares at the stranger, getting slightly spooked.
LAINIE'S POV loud cheesy music performs from nowhere as the shape, who is MENTAL, suddenly breaks into the Macarena, throwing his hands up and doing an odd little dance to the O.S. voice singing "Heyyyy, Macarena!"
CLOSE Lainie flinches back, horrified.
O.S. The PHONE rings, its' chimes cutting through the air. Lainie looks at it, then back out the window.
LAINIE'S POV The creepy guy is gone. What a relief. She ANSWERS the phone.
LAINIE
(fearfully)
Hello?
The CALLER on the other end has a chillingly deep MAN'S VOICE.
CALLER
(O.S., threatening; sounds like the guy in SCREAM)
Hello, Sidney.
Lainie closes her eyes and LAUGHS.
CALLER
(O.S., angry. He's pissed)
IF YOU LAUGH AT ME, YOU'LL DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!
Lainie stops laughing, and when she speaks again, it's SERIOUS.
LAINIE
(blunt)
Let me point three things out to you, Mr. Creepy Caller.
(beat, then...)
One, I'm not Sidney. I'm LAINIE. Two, My mother's
not dead. She's getting her hair done. Three, you've got
the wrong movie, numbnuts.
CLOSE Lainie, convinced she got through to this guy, HANGS UP.
THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN.
LAINIE slowly reaches down and picks up again, putting the receiver to her ear.
LAINIE
Hello?
Another MAN'S VOICE, not as deep or threatening, answers.
MAN (O.S.)
Hello, this is the I.R.S. Is your father there?
Lainie's RESPONSE is to SCREAM IN TERROR and SLAM THE PHONE DOWN.
The phone RINGS yet again. This time, Lainie takes her sweet time answering.
LAINIE
(very shaky)
H-hello?
The caller, a WOMAN this time, answers.
WOMAN
Hey, what's going on?
Lainie relaxes, smiling. It's KRISTY.
LAINIE
Nothing. What are you doing?
O.S. the sounds of a man moaning can be heard.
KRISTY
(also moaning O.S.)
Nothing,...Lainie. Just...uh...just....OH GOD HOWIE DON'T STOP!!!
(between orgasms)
I'll pick you up at 7 to go baby-sitting, okay?
Lainie seems to ignore the passionate moaning.
LAINIE
Okay.
(pause)
Thanks. My mom needed to use the car tonight.
INSERT LAINIE'S MOTHER cruises the car up to a young stud, who is SMOKING CRACK.
LAINIE'S MOM
Hey, handsome. You want to give ME a few puffs?
RETURN to LAINIE.
KRISTY
OH GOD YES, HOWIE, FIRE THE
CANNON!!!! OH, YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Lainie's face twists into A SICKENED EXPRESSION.
LAINIE
Eeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!
She slams the phone down, and at the same time, we slam cut to:
18. Gas Station - Same Time
It is the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. The only building in the vicinity
Is this dinky little place, which appears to NEED REPAIR.
CLOSE Dr. Loony's CAR pulls into the Gas Station parking lot, and
The doctor gets out of his vehicle, entering the small store.
DR LOONY
Hey, is anyone here? I need some lottery tickets!
There is no answer. Only a DRIP DRIP DRIP.
CLOSE Dr. Loony looks worried. He moves deeper into the store.
There seems to be NOBODY around. The joint is dead.
DR. LOONY
Hello, I need a shot of bourbon!
DRIP DRIP DRIP.
IMPOSE UPON Dr. Loony as his eyes scan the entirety of the gas station.
Why isn't anyone answering him?
DRIP DRIP DRIP.
DR. LOONY
(looks at camera)
Can you please stop with the fucking 'drip drip drip"?
This request is very rude, and the NARRATOR has no problems
expressing this with the stocky doctor. Time to get an attitude.
NARRATOR (O.S.)
Excuse me, but I am trying to create suspense!
Dr. Loony points a gun at the camera threateningly.
DR. LOONY
Well, stop it! You suck at creating scares!
NARRATOR
You just suck, period.
DR. LOONY looks pissed. All hell has broken loose.
DR. LOONY
(shoots his gun at someone behind camera)
Now, who sucks?!
NARRATOR (O.S.)
You bastard! You shot me!
DR. LOONY scoffs and turns away, non-responsively.
Why give a shit about the narrator?
DR. LOONY
Stuff it.
CAMERA PANS WITH DR. LOONY as he treks towards the back of the store.
DR. LOONY'S POV The store is empty. Lifeless.
Suddenly, a DEAD MAN'S BODY drops from the ceiling, landing at Loony's feet.
DR. LOONY
Oh my dear god in heaven!
(beat)
Now I'll never get that bourbon. Damn you, Mental!
DR. LOONY goes out to his vehicle and drives off. It's payback time.
CAMERA follows his car for a few seconds, then as he passes a road sign, the POV zooms into it...
CRUNCH!
... a little too closely.
CAMERA pulls back, and we can now read
the words on the sign. They read: 150 MILES
TO HADABRAINFIELD. USE CAUTION
WHEN DRIVING THERE AND KEEP IN
MIND THAT THE ROAD IS FILLED WITH
POTHOLES TO MAKE DRIVING EXCEEDINGLY
HEADACHE-INDUCING.
19. Kristy's Car - Front Seat - Night
CAMERA observes from the BACK SEAT
as Kristy and Lainie engage themselves in natural conversation.
KRISTY
Hey, did you see the bod of that Ben Lamer guy?
LAINIE frowns imperviously.
LAINIE
Kristy, why are you always talking about guys?
LAINIE'S POV Kristy looks at her, dumb-founded.
KRISTY
What else is there to talk about?
Lainie strains to think of a different topic, and finally
she hits the right idea. The young girl decides to try it.
LAINIE
Did you know that the country is headed for bankruptcy
due to the immobility of the nation to furnish enough gratin
potatoes?
Kristy looks at her again. Why the hell is Lainie
babbling about Potatoes? She must have hit the drug pipe again.
Speaking of which...
KRISTY
(takes weed out of her pocket, lights it)
Take a hit.
Lainie clearly doesn't want to.
KRISTY
C'mon, would you smoke the joint already?
Lainie looks at her, then back at the weed. Drugs are bad, but
peer pressure is worse. She takes a drag. Kristy beams at her.
KRISTY
Way to go! That's the shit!
KRISTY'S POV Lainie, unable to handle the toke, vomits blood all
over the car dashboard. Kristy smacks Lainie hard in the back, then
looks up at something offscreen.
KRISTY
SHI-ITT! It's my dad!
(looks at Lainie)
Lainie, stop puking blood.
What'sa matter with you?
FORE-ANGLE Kristy's car swerves by the curb of a busy street. The alarm of a porn shop is blaring, and there's the usual assortment of people, cops, onlookers, etc. present.
Kristy's dad, SHERRIFF CYPHERS, staggers over to them, his belly juggling and making a nasty SWOSHING sound. He also seems to be drunk. The cop squints at them.
KRISTY
Hi, dad. What happened?
CYPHERS
(blind stinking drunk, slurred)
Wha...?
KRISTY
(louder)
What happened?
LAINIE'S POV Cyphers belches and several cops standing ten feet behind him suddenly make choking sounds and collapse onto the paved sidewalk.
CYPHERS
(slurred)
Porn shop was broken into. A mask, a rope, and a knife was stolen.
(beat)
Prob'ly sex 'razed pyros.
Kristy looks at Lainie with a smirk, then resumes her gaze on her plastered father. The state of law enforcement in the 70's gave one cause for concern.
KRISTY
You blame everything on sex-crazed pyros.
(to Lainie)
It's hard growing up with a drunk dad.
(waves)
Bye dad!
They drive off.
CYPHERS
Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
(belches)
Oy, I need a twinkie.
CYPHERS' POV A Volkswagen pulls up, making a ruckus of bangs and pows, trying to park by the curb, but instead shoots onto the sidewalk, and plows into a hustled group of cops. Several cops fly through the air.
Dr. Loony gets out, and sees Cyphers. Stepping over to the hammered sheriff, Loony gives him a greeting and an introduction.
DR. LOONY
Damn old cars. Never work for shit.
(beat)
Sheriff, we need to talk.
LOONY'S POV Cyphers turns his back on him.
CYPHERS
Ah, shure will, sir.
(hiccups)
Just as soon as those damn kids stop fucking up my car.
LOONY'S POV A flock of birds swarm over the car, leaving droppings all over it. It's almost like a wildlife preserve for feathered birds.
DR. LOONY
Sir, there are no kids here. Just birds.
CYPHERS squints at him, unstably trying to keep a solid gaze on the doctor.
CYPHERS
No kids? Just birds?
(starts flapping his arms)
Lookitme! I can fly! I can fly!
(flaps his arms and throws himself at a car)
I can fly over the...
DR. LOONY winces as offscreen, a loud CRACK is heard.
CYPHERS (O.S.)
...Owie...
Dr. Loony sighs impatiently and rubs his eyes. Getting help from this guy was going to be harder and more embarrassing then he had thought.
DR. LOONY
My mother TOLD me to go into Real Estate, but did I? NOOOOO.
CYPHERS
(O.S., slurred)
Look, ma, I'm on TV!
COMING SOON: So Loony can't get the drunken sheriff to help him stop Mental. Does that mean he'll have to do it on his own? Also, what will happen to Kristy and Lainie? Does Lainie barf blood again? Find out next time in Chapter 4.
By Jake Denton (kingcobra49036@yahoo.com)
NOTE: Sorry this took so long, but with all the things I've been busy with, it gets harder to write in my free time.
17. Int. Curtis House - Lainie's bedroom - minutes later
Entering the room, allowing the DOOR to SLAM SHUT behind her, Lainie tosses her books onto her bed, and flops down onto the mattress, intending to take a nap.
CRASH!
LAINIE gets up off the floor, and stares at the newly destroyed mattress on her hardwood floor. The support beams for the mattress have given out and the bed has hit the floor.
LAINIE
Dammit!
(pause. She's pissed.)
I'll have to sue Sealy Posture-pedic.
PAN BEHIND LAINIE as she crosses over to the window, gazing out contentedly, then looks over to her left...
At the masked figure standing in the backyard next door.
CLOSE Lainie stares at the stranger, getting slightly spooked.
LAINIE'S POV loud cheesy music performs from nowhere as the shape, who is MENTAL, suddenly breaks into the Macarena, throwing his hands up and doing an odd little dance to the O.S. voice singing "Heyyyy, Macarena!"
CLOSE Lainie flinches back, horrified.
O.S. The PHONE rings, its' chimes cutting through the air. Lainie looks at it, then back out the window.
LAINIE'S POV The creepy guy is gone. What a relief. She ANSWERS the phone.
LAINIE
(fearfully)
Hello?
The CALLER on the other end has a chillingly deep MAN'S VOICE.
CALLER
(O.S., threatening; sounds like the guy in SCREAM)
Hello, Sidney.
Lainie closes her eyes and LAUGHS.
CALLER
(O.S., angry. He's pissed)
IF YOU LAUGH AT ME, YOU'LL DIE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!
Lainie stops laughing, and when she speaks again, it's SERIOUS.
LAINIE
(blunt)
Let me point three things out to you, Mr. Creepy Caller.
(beat, then...)
One, I'm not Sidney. I'm LAINIE. Two, My mother's
not dead. She's getting her hair done. Three, you've got
the wrong movie, numbnuts.
CLOSE Lainie, convinced she got through to this guy, HANGS UP.
THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN.
LAINIE slowly reaches down and picks up again, putting the receiver to her ear.
LAINIE
Hello?
Another MAN'S VOICE, not as deep or threatening, answers.
MAN (O.S.)
Hello, this is the I.R.S. Is your father there?
Lainie's RESPONSE is to SCREAM IN TERROR and SLAM THE PHONE DOWN.
The phone RINGS yet again. This time, Lainie takes her sweet time answering.
LAINIE
(very shaky)
H-hello?
The caller, a WOMAN this time, answers.
WOMAN
Hey, what's going on?
Lainie relaxes, smiling. It's KRISTY.
LAINIE
Nothing. What are you doing?
O.S. the sounds of a man moaning can be heard.
KRISTY
(also moaning O.S.)
Nothing,...Lainie. Just...uh...just....OH GOD HOWIE DON'T STOP!!!
(between orgasms)
I'll pick you up at 7 to go baby-sitting, okay?
Lainie seems to ignore the passionate moaning.
LAINIE
Okay.
(pause)
Thanks. My mom needed to use the car tonight.
INSERT LAINIE'S MOTHER cruises the car up to a young stud, who is SMOKING CRACK.
LAINIE'S MOM
Hey, handsome. You want to give ME a few puffs?
RETURN to LAINIE.
KRISTY
OH GOD YES, HOWIE, FIRE THE
CANNON!!!! OH, YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Lainie's face twists into A SICKENED EXPRESSION.
LAINIE
Eeeeeeeewwwwwww!!!
She slams the phone down, and at the same time, we slam cut to:
18. Gas Station - Same Time
It is the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. The only building in the vicinity
Is this dinky little place, which appears to NEED REPAIR.
CLOSE Dr. Loony's CAR pulls into the Gas Station parking lot, and
The doctor gets out of his vehicle, entering the small store.
DR LOONY
Hey, is anyone here? I need some lottery tickets!
There is no answer. Only a DRIP DRIP DRIP.
CLOSE Dr. Loony looks worried. He moves deeper into the store.
There seems to be NOBODY around. The joint is dead.
DR. LOONY
Hello, I need a shot of bourbon!
DRIP DRIP DRIP.
IMPOSE UPON Dr. Loony as his eyes scan the entirety of the gas station.
Why isn't anyone answering him?
DRIP DRIP DRIP.
DR. LOONY
(looks at camera)
Can you please stop with the fucking 'drip drip drip"?
This request is very rude, and the NARRATOR has no problems
expressing this with the stocky doctor. Time to get an attitude.
NARRATOR (O.S.)
Excuse me, but I am trying to create suspense!
Dr. Loony points a gun at the camera threateningly.
DR. LOONY
Well, stop it! You suck at creating scares!
NARRATOR
You just suck, period.
DR. LOONY looks pissed. All hell has broken loose.
DR. LOONY
(shoots his gun at someone behind camera)
Now, who sucks?!
NARRATOR (O.S.)
You bastard! You shot me!
DR. LOONY scoffs and turns away, non-responsively.
Why give a shit about the narrator?
DR. LOONY
Stuff it.
CAMERA PANS WITH DR. LOONY as he treks towards the back of the store.
DR. LOONY'S POV The store is empty. Lifeless.
Suddenly, a DEAD MAN'S BODY drops from the ceiling, landing at Loony's feet.
DR. LOONY
Oh my dear god in heaven!
(beat)
Now I'll never get that bourbon. Damn you, Mental!
DR. LOONY goes out to his vehicle and drives off. It's payback time.
CAMERA follows his car for a few seconds, then as he passes a road sign, the POV zooms into it...
CRUNCH!
... a little too closely.
CAMERA pulls back, and we can now read
the words on the sign. They read: 150 MILES
TO HADABRAINFIELD. USE CAUTION
WHEN DRIVING THERE AND KEEP IN
MIND THAT THE ROAD IS FILLED WITH
POTHOLES TO MAKE DRIVING EXCEEDINGLY
HEADACHE-INDUCING.
19. Kristy's Car - Front Seat - Night
CAMERA observes from the BACK SEAT
as Kristy and Lainie engage themselves in natural conversation.
KRISTY
Hey, did you see the bod of that Ben Lamer guy?
LAINIE frowns imperviously.
LAINIE
Kristy, why are you always talking about guys?
LAINIE'S POV Kristy looks at her, dumb-founded.
KRISTY
What else is there to talk about?
Lainie strains to think of a different topic, and finally
she hits the right idea. The young girl decides to try it.
LAINIE
Did you know that the country is headed for bankruptcy
due to the immobility of the nation to furnish enough gratin
potatoes?
Kristy looks at her again. Why the hell is Lainie
babbling about Potatoes? She must have hit the drug pipe again.
Speaking of which...
KRISTY
(takes weed out of her pocket, lights it)
Take a hit.
Lainie clearly doesn't want to.
KRISTY
C'mon, would you smoke the joint already?
Lainie looks at her, then back at the weed. Drugs are bad, but
peer pressure is worse. She takes a drag. Kristy beams at her.
KRISTY
Way to go! That's the shit!
KRISTY'S POV Lainie, unable to handle the toke, vomits blood all
over the car dashboard. Kristy smacks Lainie hard in the back, then
looks up at something offscreen.
KRISTY
SHI-ITT! It's my dad!
(looks at Lainie)
Lainie, stop puking blood.
What'sa matter with you?
FORE-ANGLE Kristy's car swerves by the curb of a busy street. The alarm of a porn shop is blaring, and there's the usual assortment of people, cops, onlookers, etc. present.
Kristy's dad, SHERRIFF CYPHERS, staggers over to them, his belly juggling and making a nasty SWOSHING sound. He also seems to be drunk. The cop squints at them.
KRISTY
Hi, dad. What happened?
CYPHERS
(blind stinking drunk, slurred)
Wha...?
KRISTY
(louder)
What happened?
LAINIE'S POV Cyphers belches and several cops standing ten feet behind him suddenly make choking sounds and collapse onto the paved sidewalk.
CYPHERS
(slurred)
Porn shop was broken into. A mask, a rope, and a knife was stolen.
(beat)
Prob'ly sex 'razed pyros.
Kristy looks at Lainie with a smirk, then resumes her gaze on her plastered father. The state of law enforcement in the 70's gave one cause for concern.
KRISTY
You blame everything on sex-crazed pyros.
(to Lainie)
It's hard growing up with a drunk dad.
(waves)
Bye dad!
They drive off.
CYPHERS
Byeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
(belches)
Oy, I need a twinkie.
CYPHERS' POV A Volkswagen pulls up, making a ruckus of bangs and pows, trying to park by the curb, but instead shoots onto the sidewalk, and plows into a hustled group of cops. Several cops fly through the air.
Dr. Loony gets out, and sees Cyphers. Stepping over to the hammered sheriff, Loony gives him a greeting and an introduction.
DR. LOONY
Damn old cars. Never work for shit.
(beat)
Sheriff, we need to talk.
LOONY'S POV Cyphers turns his back on him.
CYPHERS
Ah, shure will, sir.
(hiccups)
Just as soon as those damn kids stop fucking up my car.
LOONY'S POV A flock of birds swarm over the car, leaving droppings all over it. It's almost like a wildlife preserve for feathered birds.
DR. LOONY
Sir, there are no kids here. Just birds.
CYPHERS squints at him, unstably trying to keep a solid gaze on the doctor.
CYPHERS
No kids? Just birds?
(starts flapping his arms)
Lookitme! I can fly! I can fly!
(flaps his arms and throws himself at a car)
I can fly over the...
DR. LOONY winces as offscreen, a loud CRACK is heard.
CYPHERS (O.S.)
...Owie...
Dr. Loony sighs impatiently and rubs his eyes. Getting help from this guy was going to be harder and more embarrassing then he had thought.
DR. LOONY
My mother TOLD me to go into Real Estate, but did I? NOOOOO.
CYPHERS
(O.S., slurred)
Look, ma, I'm on TV!
COMING SOON: So Loony can't get the drunken sheriff to help him stop Mental. Does that mean he'll have to do it on his own? Also, what will happen to Kristy and Lainie? Does Lainie barf blood again? Find out next time in Chapter 4.