Night Of The Boogeymen, chapter 5
By KingCobra49036@yahoo.com
29. Int. Spoiled House - Living Room - Same Time
LAINIE and TOMMY sit on the couch watching CHILDREN OF THE CORN 7
when the young boy looks up at her, a question in his face. Lainie looks back at him.
TOMMY
(fearfully)
Lainie, what's the boogeyman?
LAINIE smiles.
LAINIE
You mean "boogeyman" as in someone who
is deeply terrifying to the point where the mere
sight of him can chill you to the deepest part of your soul?
TOMMY
Yeah.
LAINIE
Well, there's Richard Simmons, for one.
TOMMY
No, I mean the guy I saw standing outside the Wallass house.
(beat)
Wasn't that the boogeyman?
LAINIE frowns. Instead of answering, she crosses the threshold to the window, where she opens the curtain and peers across the street.
LAINIE'S POV The Wallass house looks undisturbed, quiet and spooky against the chill of the October climate. Except for the trick-or-treaters, however, no prowler is skulking around. LAINIE glances back at Tommy, all smiles. She's perkier then Jennifer Love Hewitt on Prozac.
LAINIE
Dummy, there's no one there. Go watch TV.
She picks up an unused pumpkin, walks over past the door, on her way to the living room with Tommy when
IT SWINGS OPEN, SMACKING INTO LAINIE'S FACE.
LAINIE cries out and falls onto her butt on the carpet, dropping the pumpkin on the floor and holding her nose. She glares, looking like all hell's about to break loose. KRISTY and MEGAN stare down at her.
KRISTY
Lainie, are you okay? Do you need anything? Medicine? Pills? Brad Pitt?
LAINIE
(annoyed)
Real funny.
She gets to her feet. KRISTY smirks at her friend.
KRISTY
I'm going to go pick Howie up.
(beat)
You can watch Megan.
LAINIE tries to think of what to say. The situation has obviously caught her off guard.
LAINIE
But...
Too late. Kristy's on her way out.
KRISTY
(before the door slams behind her)
Thanks! Bye!
LAINIE looks up at Megan helplessly, only to see that the girl is watching the movie with TOMMY. She starts to go into the living room.
CLOSE a piece of shattered Pumpkin lies on the floor. Lainie's foot comes right down on it.
LAINIE SLIPS AND FALLS SOUNDLESSLY.
30. Ext. Wallass House - Driveway
Kristy strides confidently to the car, whistling jauntily, her car keys in her hand. She opens THE PASENGER DOOR and GETS IN, shutting the door behind her. Suddenly, she senses something is wrong and stops whistling.
KRISTY
(beat)
I forgot to buy a rubber!
She doesn't need one. Mental murders POPS up in the back seat. His hand goes around her throat and begins squeezing. KRISTY struggles wildly. It's almost as if she can't breathe. The killer's grip squeezes HARDER, when suddenly Kristy manages to grab and kiss him.
KRISTY
(horny, moves the hand off her throat to her tit)
Why don't you grab something else, big boy?
She jumps in the BACK SEAT, giggling madly. It looks like Mental is gonna get lucky!
FLASH CUT TO:
31. Ext. Wallass House - street in front
An old faded 1970'S VAN pulls up. The brakes SCREECH as the driver tries to stop the van and it CRASHES into the vehicle in front of it. The driver, BOBBY, gets out while the passenger, LYDIA, does the same.
They start the trek towards the front porch of the house. BOBBY tries to pick LYDIA up, but is having a hard time lifting her. He STRAINS against the weight.
LYDIA
Bobby, put me down! This is so silly!
BOBBY
(winces as he lifts her and he gets a pain in his shoulder)
Okay.
He drops her on the grass, then starts to walk towards the house, accidentally tripping over LYDIA and falling on his face on the ground in the process.
32. Int. Wallass House - Living Room
The front door swings open as Bobby pokes his face inside, not seeing the door swing back closed. He looks, too late, as the door WHACKS him in the face. Bobby staggers backwards and holds his bloody nose.
BOBBY
FUCK!
LYDIA
Would you get a move on?! Don't you wanna do it?
BOBBY
Yeah, I do.
LYDIA
Then let's go! The parents are out and Megan's over at Dummy's.
TOMMY
(offscreen, still in his own house)
THAT'S TOMMY YOU STUPID CUNT!
LYDIA glances back at the house, which is out of frame.
LYDIA
SORRY TOMMY!!!
BOBBY
YA-HOOO!!!
He picks up LYDIA again, staggers forward two steps, and falls down flat face first again. LYDIA fumes.
LYDIA
You are such a weakling!!!
33. Int. Wallass House - Upstairs Bedroom - Minutes Later
Fully naked, but thankfully covered underneath the sheets, BOBBY and LYDIA engage in sexual ardor. LYDIA moans in pleasure, and BOBBY just stays silent.
CLOSE It's clear Bobby just wants to get this over with.
PAN OUT TO THE WALL. There is a MUSICAL STINGER as the shadow's reflection moves across it.
LYDIA
Ouch! What the hell was that?!
(beat)
Will you go take care of that please?
BOBBY
(relieved)
Sure.
He gets off of her and leaves the room.
LYDIA
(calls after him)
And could you bring me back a beer, some smokes,
and a gardening hose I like to practice with, please?
Right after LYDIA says "Gardening Hose", the scene flash switches to:
34. Int. Wallass Kitchen
CLOSE a tape recorder playing the MUSICAL STINGER is cut off by BOBBY'S hand switching it off.
BOBBY
(off-screen)
Damn noise makers.
CAMERA pans upward to settle on BOBBY, who doesn't notice MENTAL MURDERS
standing behind him. He slowly senses it, though, and starts to turn around.
BOBBY
What the---?
SLASH! The Shapeless STABS BOBBY with a garden harrow in the stomach. BOBBY doubles over in pain, looks slowly at his blood-stained hands, then very slowly up at the shapeless.
BOBBY
Ow...
He DIES.
35. Int. Wallass Bedroom - Seconds Later
LYDIA lies in bed, doing her nails, which are about as long as Freddy Kruger's. The DOOR CREAKS OPEN, and she smirks playfully.
LYDIA'S POV "BOBBY" stands in the doorway, with a sheet draped over him. He breathes heavily.
LYDIA
(opens her shirt to reveal old wrinkly breasts)
See anything you like?
LYDIA only laughs.
LYDIA
Can't I get your spirit, Bobby?
(laughs, then turns serious)
Where's my hose?
He doesn't answer, just stands there breathing heavily. LYDIA gets disgusted and turns her back on him. She dials the phone, not seeing the figure in the doorway closing in. The shark is on the prowl.
36. Int. Spoiled House - Same Time
LAINIE hears the PHOE ring, and picks up.
LAINIE
Hello?
36. Int. Wallass Bedroom
LYDIA gasps as the shapeless wraps the hose around her neck, trying to strangle her. Fortunately, it's the cheap kind, and LYDIA breaks free. She races towards the door.
LAINIE
(off-camera)
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
There is an endless onslaught of offscreen "hellos?" as LYDIA opens the hallway door, trying to escape. Upon opening the door, a poster of Janet Reno appears. LYDIA screams, and then suddenly, grabs her chest, and hits the floor, dead. The poster has scared her to death.
The Shapeless watches all this, then removes the sheet, and picks up the phone, saying nothing, only breathing heavily through his goofy deformed mask.
LAINIE
(a broken record)
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
NEXT: What will happen to Lainie, now that Bobby, Kristy, and Lydia are dead? Will Dr. Loony find Mental in time to save Lainie and make the spoof end happily? Will Lainie ever stop saying "hello?" And what of Tommy and Megan? What will they watch next? These answers will arrive in the next chapter of my "Halloween" parody coming soon to a fan fiction site near you!
By KingCobra49036@yahoo.com
29. Int. Spoiled House - Living Room - Same Time
LAINIE and TOMMY sit on the couch watching CHILDREN OF THE CORN 7
when the young boy looks up at her, a question in his face. Lainie looks back at him.
TOMMY
(fearfully)
Lainie, what's the boogeyman?
LAINIE smiles.
LAINIE
You mean "boogeyman" as in someone who
is deeply terrifying to the point where the mere
sight of him can chill you to the deepest part of your soul?
TOMMY
Yeah.
LAINIE
Well, there's Richard Simmons, for one.
TOMMY
No, I mean the guy I saw standing outside the Wallass house.
(beat)
Wasn't that the boogeyman?
LAINIE frowns. Instead of answering, she crosses the threshold to the window, where she opens the curtain and peers across the street.
LAINIE'S POV The Wallass house looks undisturbed, quiet and spooky against the chill of the October climate. Except for the trick-or-treaters, however, no prowler is skulking around. LAINIE glances back at Tommy, all smiles. She's perkier then Jennifer Love Hewitt on Prozac.
LAINIE
Dummy, there's no one there. Go watch TV.
She picks up an unused pumpkin, walks over past the door, on her way to the living room with Tommy when
IT SWINGS OPEN, SMACKING INTO LAINIE'S FACE.
LAINIE cries out and falls onto her butt on the carpet, dropping the pumpkin on the floor and holding her nose. She glares, looking like all hell's about to break loose. KRISTY and MEGAN stare down at her.
KRISTY
Lainie, are you okay? Do you need anything? Medicine? Pills? Brad Pitt?
LAINIE
(annoyed)
Real funny.
She gets to her feet. KRISTY smirks at her friend.
KRISTY
I'm going to go pick Howie up.
(beat)
You can watch Megan.
LAINIE tries to think of what to say. The situation has obviously caught her off guard.
LAINIE
But...
Too late. Kristy's on her way out.
KRISTY
(before the door slams behind her)
Thanks! Bye!
LAINIE looks up at Megan helplessly, only to see that the girl is watching the movie with TOMMY. She starts to go into the living room.
CLOSE a piece of shattered Pumpkin lies on the floor. Lainie's foot comes right down on it.
LAINIE SLIPS AND FALLS SOUNDLESSLY.
30. Ext. Wallass House - Driveway
Kristy strides confidently to the car, whistling jauntily, her car keys in her hand. She opens THE PASENGER DOOR and GETS IN, shutting the door behind her. Suddenly, she senses something is wrong and stops whistling.
KRISTY
(beat)
I forgot to buy a rubber!
She doesn't need one. Mental murders POPS up in the back seat. His hand goes around her throat and begins squeezing. KRISTY struggles wildly. It's almost as if she can't breathe. The killer's grip squeezes HARDER, when suddenly Kristy manages to grab and kiss him.
KRISTY
(horny, moves the hand off her throat to her tit)
Why don't you grab something else, big boy?
She jumps in the BACK SEAT, giggling madly. It looks like Mental is gonna get lucky!
FLASH CUT TO:
31. Ext. Wallass House - street in front
An old faded 1970'S VAN pulls up. The brakes SCREECH as the driver tries to stop the van and it CRASHES into the vehicle in front of it. The driver, BOBBY, gets out while the passenger, LYDIA, does the same.
They start the trek towards the front porch of the house. BOBBY tries to pick LYDIA up, but is having a hard time lifting her. He STRAINS against the weight.
LYDIA
Bobby, put me down! This is so silly!
BOBBY
(winces as he lifts her and he gets a pain in his shoulder)
Okay.
He drops her on the grass, then starts to walk towards the house, accidentally tripping over LYDIA and falling on his face on the ground in the process.
32. Int. Wallass House - Living Room
The front door swings open as Bobby pokes his face inside, not seeing the door swing back closed. He looks, too late, as the door WHACKS him in the face. Bobby staggers backwards and holds his bloody nose.
BOBBY
FUCK!
LYDIA
Would you get a move on?! Don't you wanna do it?
BOBBY
Yeah, I do.
LYDIA
Then let's go! The parents are out and Megan's over at Dummy's.
TOMMY
(offscreen, still in his own house)
THAT'S TOMMY YOU STUPID CUNT!
LYDIA glances back at the house, which is out of frame.
LYDIA
SORRY TOMMY!!!
BOBBY
YA-HOOO!!!
He picks up LYDIA again, staggers forward two steps, and falls down flat face first again. LYDIA fumes.
LYDIA
You are such a weakling!!!
33. Int. Wallass House - Upstairs Bedroom - Minutes Later
Fully naked, but thankfully covered underneath the sheets, BOBBY and LYDIA engage in sexual ardor. LYDIA moans in pleasure, and BOBBY just stays silent.
CLOSE It's clear Bobby just wants to get this over with.
PAN OUT TO THE WALL. There is a MUSICAL STINGER as the shadow's reflection moves across it.
LYDIA
Ouch! What the hell was that?!
(beat)
Will you go take care of that please?
BOBBY
(relieved)
Sure.
He gets off of her and leaves the room.
LYDIA
(calls after him)
And could you bring me back a beer, some smokes,
and a gardening hose I like to practice with, please?
Right after LYDIA says "Gardening Hose", the scene flash switches to:
34. Int. Wallass Kitchen
CLOSE a tape recorder playing the MUSICAL STINGER is cut off by BOBBY'S hand switching it off.
BOBBY
(off-screen)
Damn noise makers.
CAMERA pans upward to settle on BOBBY, who doesn't notice MENTAL MURDERS
standing behind him. He slowly senses it, though, and starts to turn around.
BOBBY
What the---?
SLASH! The Shapeless STABS BOBBY with a garden harrow in the stomach. BOBBY doubles over in pain, looks slowly at his blood-stained hands, then very slowly up at the shapeless.
BOBBY
Ow...
He DIES.
35. Int. Wallass Bedroom - Seconds Later
LYDIA lies in bed, doing her nails, which are about as long as Freddy Kruger's. The DOOR CREAKS OPEN, and she smirks playfully.
LYDIA'S POV "BOBBY" stands in the doorway, with a sheet draped over him. He breathes heavily.
LYDIA
(opens her shirt to reveal old wrinkly breasts)
See anything you like?
LYDIA only laughs.
LYDIA
Can't I get your spirit, Bobby?
(laughs, then turns serious)
Where's my hose?
He doesn't answer, just stands there breathing heavily. LYDIA gets disgusted and turns her back on him. She dials the phone, not seeing the figure in the doorway closing in. The shark is on the prowl.
36. Int. Spoiled House - Same Time
LAINIE hears the PHOE ring, and picks up.
LAINIE
Hello?
36. Int. Wallass Bedroom
LYDIA gasps as the shapeless wraps the hose around her neck, trying to strangle her. Fortunately, it's the cheap kind, and LYDIA breaks free. She races towards the door.
LAINIE
(off-camera)
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
There is an endless onslaught of offscreen "hellos?" as LYDIA opens the hallway door, trying to escape. Upon opening the door, a poster of Janet Reno appears. LYDIA screams, and then suddenly, grabs her chest, and hits the floor, dead. The poster has scared her to death.
The Shapeless watches all this, then removes the sheet, and picks up the phone, saying nothing, only breathing heavily through his goofy deformed mask.
LAINIE
(a broken record)
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
NEXT: What will happen to Lainie, now that Bobby, Kristy, and Lydia are dead? Will Dr. Loony find Mental in time to save Lainie and make the spoof end happily? Will Lainie ever stop saying "hello?" And what of Tommy and Megan? What will they watch next? These answers will arrive in the next chapter of my "Halloween" parody coming soon to a fan fiction site near you!