Notes, disclaimers, etc: proper nouns hers, everything else mine. Soooo sorry for taking so long. Just been busy. And everything. I know. Horrible isn't it. This chapter is written in this style I've been experimenting with so bear with me. I know. It sucks. It's also terribly short. But I love you all.

This chapter contains: slash, twincest, angst!Lee, babbling Fred, and Ickle-Ronniekins. Well sort of.

Chapter 19: Bitter and In Love

        Ron red-eyed with distrust eyeing you and the dirt where the hell were you two and weren't you fighting or am I out of my mind or something?

        Isn't it funny breezing past Ron's questions isn't it funny how—stop.

        Isn't what funny? Impatiently. Ron looking at you in confusion and irritation because well because he's Ron. Honestly you're so fucking weird sometimes Fred sometimes I don't know what's wrong with you but you've—

        Friendly: ah, shut it. Ruffling little brother's hair because you love him and you never knew it before but now you don't want to lose him because you're so happy right now. You're ruining it Ron I'm in a good mood.

        Good mood about what?

        About rich good soil between your toes laughter and his voice so soft in your ear and his identity like a reflection and the way you were made to fit together like glass. Just happy I guess. The smell of him still soaking into your skin it almost confuses you that people don't see it don't know just by looking at you with his touch burned into you just so and your clothes messy-dirty from the soil. I dunno Ronnie can't I just be happy sometimes?

        Don't call me Ronnie. That's right he's fifteen now old and wise and bitter and in love. In love with who? Hermione it must be. No more little brother and Ginny fourteen now oh Jesus where did they go? You feel old.

        How'd you grow up to be someone I don't know? Tempting to ruffle his hair again, to hold him close like you used to do when he had nightmares and didn't want to wake Mum trapping him between the two of you, you the bread and he the butter. A bit late you tell him: watch your mouth.

        He rolls his eyes at you. Nearly sweating sarcasm: sure thing Mum. His eyes telling you that he stopped needing you a long time ago.

Upstairs.

        Sitting by the windowsill nearly shouting and obviously glowing grin stretched wide over suffering cheeks.

        In love are you. Sullen Lee with cracks in his eyes and probably his heart his voice black coffee refusing the cream.

        Laughter a mistake—you laugh anyway rich full happy for once for God's sake Lee aren't you happy for me for us for us Lee this is so important this changes everything even you Lee because

        It doesn't

        We're so much better now no more fighting no more anything except us again again

        It doesn't change

        Rushing over him babbling and trying not to hear because you don't want to let go of being your twin and yourself at the same time. Forgetting you're losing him and not really caring because look look at what you gain Lee don't be so negative this will all work out I promise you because it has to because it's wonderful and

        IT DOESN'T CHANGE ME.

        And.

        You want to say: why the hell not? But you can't won't because you know you do know you're not bloody blind you only pretend but you see the way he looks stares can feel his mind on you when you're not looking and he might try to hide the way the blood creeps through his veins into his face when he sees you but you know him.

        Fuck, Fred, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Just leave me the hell alone won't you just leave me alone I mean you don't need me any more right you have me so just so just bugger off.
        Gone before you can stop him but you're not going to apologize for the taste of your brother still sinking into your tongue.