The confusion of love
By *angel!* a.k.a. angel of darkness
There is one thing that Heero and Wufei never dreamed of seeing. And that one thing happened to be standing right in front of them. It seemed like such an opportunity. /A Silver Opportunity. / Wufei thought. /Or something like that. / It seemed so perfect, like fate, if Wufei actually believed in that crap.
"Well hi." Hilde stated nervously. "It's nice to see you all again, but I better be going."
"You're not going anywhere." Heero stated grabbing his arm. Hilde knew that voice. He was angry.
"What do you want?" Hilde asked. Knowing she probably looked like a deer caught in head lights. And that's exactly how she felt. Well she knew she couldn't run forever, the deer was caught.
So it had begun.
*~*
The session was over. Ami was no longer the student trying to council the patient, and Trowa was no longer the patient. Trowa seemed embarrassed that a stranger knew more about him than he liked and he knew nothing about her.
For a while they just sat there in silence, Ami had said all that she could and Trowa defiantly didn't want to talk about it any more. Ami looked at her watch, a nervous habit she had. "Its past 6, are you hungry?"
"A little." Trowa admitted.
"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Ami offered. "I'm off work now."
/Why not? / Trowa thought. /What was the harm in it? / "I would love to."
*~*
"Why did you break up with Duo?" Heero offered bluntly.
"Do you know how bad you hurt him?" If their was one thing Wufei wasn't it was being patient.
We are so different Duo. I have to live on a schedule, and you can't. Sometimes the littlest things that you do bug me. A flashback to what she had said earlier to Duo popped in her mind even against her will. One little mistake!? You take forever in to get ready, you're always late, you always forget stuff, and you always act like it's no big deal when you do forget something! "I couldn't take it anymore." Hilde admitted after a while.
"You couldn't take what?"
"Our relationship. All my life I dreamed of having a family. With this war going on I didn't think that Duo wanted that."
"Did you ask him about that?"
"We always joked around about it, but that was all it was joking around, you can never tell when Duo is actually serious." With that the two other Gundam pilots had to agree on. "I loved Duo I still do, but loving someone doesn't mean that you can stay in a relationship with them."
"You hurt him really bad." Wufei stated again. "You should talk to him about it. He's miserable with out you."
/So am I. / Hilde almost added. "Right now I need more, I need something more stable, someone to lean on, he can hardly take care of himself, much less a family. You can understand that can't you?"
Both of them could, but Hilde was showing part of herself she hadn't show to them before, her stubbornness. "Being in a relationship means you have to adapt a little." Heero stated. "You have to be willing to change a little."
"I don't want him to change Heero. I love him the way he was."
"So you want him to stay the same way, never stable, to never be able to have a relationship with anyone again?" Heero accused. "To hold onto his memories of you forever?"
"Duo is willing to change for you, to be a better person, Hilde. Don't you want him to change for you?" Wufei added.
"No I don't. If Duo is willing to change he should do it for himself and not for me."
"Doesn't that say something about how much he cares about you. Admit it, having a family without Duo is worthless to you isn't it?" Wufei stated.
"I should be going." Hilde stated as she turned to leave, not wanting to answer the questions being asked of her.
Wufei started after her, until Heero lay a hand on his shoulder. "Don't."
Wufei nodded and they to walked off, in the opposite direction.
*~*
Trowa and Ami strolled though the park licking their ice cream and talking along the way. Somehow talking to Ami was both relaxing and refreshing, Trowa felt he could talk to her.
As they walked they passed a couple eating a picnic, trying to get their 4 year old son to stop chasing the ducks and come and eat. "Do you want a family?" Trowa asked casually.
"Of course I do. Doesn't everyone?" Ami asked in return.
"I would hope so. But who do you want a family with?"
Ami looked down and blushed. "So there is someone." Trowa smiled. "Who?"
"Some guy at my work." Ami said softly embaressed.
"Does he know?" Trowa pushed harder.
"No he doesn't. He constantly teases me."
"You should go after him, that is as long as he isn't married, then you could get into a lot of trouble." Trowa teased.
"Shut up." Ami said playfully pushing his shoulder.
"Violent are we?" Trowa laughed.
*~*
Upon Wufei's constant bothering, Heero had finaly decided to go and talk to Makoto. Apparently what he found was less than a happy reunion.
"So you decided to just leave and break my heart." It was more of a statement than a question.
"You don't understand Makoto." Heero pleaded.
"Like hell I don't. You leave and then want me back. I'm not sure if I want that. How do I not know you willn't leave me again?" she glared at him, although tears started to build up in her eyes.
"I left to get your father's approval."
"He died for God's sake Heero! Why did you try to get the approval of someone who died?!" she interupted.
"I couldn't change the fact that i was already drafted. I had to go."
"You could have come back." she pleaded. "Why didn't you come back?"
"I thought you hated me." Heero admitted.
"I did. But that was because I needed you Heero. I was mad at myself for having to depend on you. I was all alone after Relena left. You left me alone and I had no one. That's when I tried to kill myself."
"Do you still blame me for everything that happened?"
Did she? Makoto pondered the question for a while. "I don't know, should I Heero?" she accused.
"Makoto I need you." he pleaded. "I thought you still liked me Makoto, but i guess I was wrong. Why did you come back if you didn't still have feelings?"
"Heero, you left me. I didn't know what to do. I was curious to see if you were happy without me. It seems like you and Relena are really happy together." she said bitterley.
"Makoto you know that that isn't far." He said pleading with her, pleading for her to understand.
"You leaving me and not coming back wasn't fair. Hell life isn't fair Heero you need to learn to get used to that."
"Makoto why are you being so bitter about this?" Heero asked.
"Makoto I need you." he pleaded. "I thought you still liked me Makoto, but i guess I was wrong. Why did you come back if
you didn't still have feelings?"
"Heero, you left me. I didn't know what to do. I was curious to see if you were happy without me. It seems like you and
Relena are really happy together." she said bitterley.
"Makoto you know that that isn't far." He said pleading with her, pleading for her to understand.
"You leaving me and not coming back wasn't fair. Hell life isn't fair Heero you need to learn to get used to that."
"Makoto why are you being so bitter about this?" Heero asked.
"Because you obviously aren't taking the hints Heero. You left me, now after 4 years you want me back. What am I suppose to think Heero?" /I'm bitter and angry and I want you back all at the same time. /
*~*
"Where exactly have you been?" Quatre asked accusingly when Trowa walked into his bedroom, Quatre who was sitting down on his bed stood up. Seeing that Trowa didn't answer him he continued. "Do you have any idea what time it is? Do you know how much you worried me wondering if something had happened to you?"
"I never meant to make you worry." Trowa answered amazed at Quatre's concern.
"I don't understand this Trowa." Quatre admitted tears coming to his eyes even though he ordered them back.
"You don't understand what?" Trowa asked confused.
"I don't understand this. Right now." Trowa reached out for Quatre who surprising Trowa pushed away. "This is what I'm talking about. I'm feeling attracted to you, more than just a friend and I don't understand it. All of this time I just wanted to be in your arms." He looked up at Trowa. Please hold me. His eyes begged. Forget what I'm saying and just hold me.
"Quatre." Trowa again reached out and Quatre accepted. "What's wrong with me?" Quatre cried into Trowa's chest.
"There isn't anything wrong with you." Trowa assured him running his hand through the short man's hair.
"I don't want to be different." Quatre continued to cry. "Is this what someone gets with having a lot of sisters?"
"There isn't anything wrong with being different." But it seemed that no matter what Trowa said it didn't seem to help. Once Quatre had stopped crying Trowa convinced him to lie down on his bed
"Aren't you going to stay?" Quatre asked once Trowa seemed to be leaving. Trowa smiled and lay down beside him, where Quatre curled up laying his head on Trowa's chest.
That was how they woke up the next morning.
*~*
Relena felt like shit, and it was probably justified. After all she had fallen in love with her best friends ex-boyfriend, one she had thought Makoto harbored no more feelings about.
So there Relena lay in bed, obviously considering what was to be done. /I'm so sorry Heero and Makoto. What have I done?/
*~*
Lina lay to in the other room not sleeping as well. She was defiantly confused about everything that had happened the past couple of days. Who wouldn't be? She was beginning to see her boss and supposed friend in a completely different way a way she didn't like to see.
*~*
Author's notes: sorry about taking so long to update, I've been having a little trouble trying to figure out how to finish this story. I know this chapter is short but I don't have much time till we leave. I'm not really satisfied with it but maybe you will be.