Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is the plot. Everything else belongs to JK Rowling with many thanks. This is a Remus/Hermione story and is dedicated to all my fellow Marauders but especially to Tessie and Amy.
Chapter One: An Unhappy Return
Remus Lupin was sitting quietly in his chambers at Hogwarts, looking over the notes left him by the previous year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It was unusual, to say the least, to be returning to Hogwarts after such a long absence. It was also somewhat uncomfortable, given that the entire student body (and their parents, by extension) knew of his "condition."
"It could have been much worse…" he thought to himself…and then turned back to his notes with a vengeance to quickly dismiss the thought.
It had been seven years since he had run away. Seven years since his secret had been so vindictively revealed by Severus Snape. A very long time by anyone's calculations. He did not know any of the students…Harry and the others had graduated just over three years before. Even young Ginny Weasley had moved on the following year. There was no one here from the last time he had taught the class.
"Probably just as well," he sighed heavily, rubbing his tired eyes with his hand and leaning back in his comfortable chair.
A knock on the door shook him from his reverie. He got up and walked towards the door, opening it cautiously, ever mindful of Peeves and his pranks.
"Good evening, Remus. I trust that you have settled into your chambers?" Severus Snape stood there, holding a goblet full of the smoking Wolfsbane Potion upon which Remus was so dependent.
"Come in, Severus," Remus opened the door wider in invitation, "As you can see, it does not take me long to unpack my things and…settle myself, as you put it."
Severus followed Remus into the room and looked around in curiosity.
"How long will you let yourself live in this self-imposed poverty, Remus?" he asked quietly, handing the other man the goblet.
"I do not deserve my parents' fortune," Remus replied quietly, taking a few sips of the potion and gasping at how awful it tasted.
"None of this is your fault," Severus sat down on a nearby stool and looked at his colleague in concern.
"It's a funny thing for you to say that to me when I almost killed you so many years ago," Remus sat down on his chair and continued sipping from the smoking goblet, grimacing each time he took a sip.
Severus looked rather awkward.
"As I said, that was not your fault. Much has happened since then. You saved me from Wormtail…saved me when I thought no one could…when no one should…" Severus stared into the empty fireplace.
Remus drained the goblet and handed it back to Severus, who accepted it silently.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked Severus, who was now staring into the goblet.
"I don't know. After all this time, I still don't know," Severus muttered.
Remus smirked quietly, "Is it not enough to know that I have never considered you an enemy? Must you always question it when someone does something for you? You are not under any obligation to me, you know."
Severus looked up at him and Remus was surprised to see how pale his colleague had become in the past few years.
Perhaps that should not have surprised him so much.
***********Flashback*********************
Remus and Dumbledore had been meeting quietly for several months now as the Order of the Phoenix grew in strength and numbers. Remus' role was vital…gathering information about recruiting activities among the pro-Death Eater families and coordinating "deprogramming" of their children before they could acquire the Dark Mark. Because, as everyone knew, it was almost impossible to change a person once they had been branded by Voldemort himself.
Almost impossible…the only one who had, had been Severus Snape.
"Peter Pettigrew has grown jealous of the favour that has been shown to Severus for his various reports on our supposed activities," Dumbledore sighed as he sipped a mug of hot chocolate, "I am afraid he will do something imprudent as a means of achieving revenge."
Remus looked to his former teacher and employer in some amazement.
"Do you believe Severus to be in any danger?" he asked the older wizard.
Setting the mug down carefully on a nearby table, Dumbledore sighed. "I do not know, Remus, and that is what worries me."
"Do you wish me to speak to him?"
"He might not wish to speak to you," Dumbledore replied with a curious look in his eyes.
"I am well aware of that fact," Remus muttered, looking away towards the bookshelf.
"He is the sort of person who nurses grudges for a very long time. His life and your life are remarkably similar. Both you and he were deprived of normal childhoods. You, because of your unfortunate encounter in the forest. Severus, because his parents began molding him from the moment he was born…to the point where even he does not know who he truly is…even now."
Remus nodded…he had always known that Severus resented the fact that his parents had forced him to become a Death Eater. He had always felt that his childhood foe became a spy for Dumbledore in the hopes of being killed…either by Voldemort himself or by a group of Aurors. Moody had certainly come close once.
"Go to his chambers, Remus. Try to talk to him. He is a member of our group as well and I am very concerned that his role as a spy could be undermined by Pettigrew and then he would be in very real danger," Dumbledore stood up and walked over to Remus, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Please…try to talk to him. I am very concerned but he does not listen to me," the older man sighed in frustration.
Remus stood up and walked over to the door to Dumbledore's office.
"I will do what I can."
Closing the door behind him, Remus hurried over to where Severus' chambers were, deep in the dank and musty dungeons of Hogwarts.
"How can anyone live down here?" he thought to himself as he knocked on the imposing dark oak door.
There was no answer.
For a moment, Remus wished that he had the Marauders Map with him so that he could quickly discover where Severus had sequestered himself. That being impossible, he did the next best thing…a locating spell.
The purple mist that emanated from his wand began to coalesce and the image of The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade came up. Summoning his broom, Remus quickly took off for the popular pub, thinking that he might indulge in a glass of spiked pumpkin juice if all went well.
He arrived in about fifteen minutes and, after transfiguring his broom into an old-fashioned lighter and placing it in his robes pocket, he walked into the pub. Severus, as was his want, was sitting by himself in front of the fireplace, staring into the flickering flames. Remus was about to walk over to him when he noticed a hooded figure approach the Potions Master and whisper something in his ear. Severus nodded, almost imperceptibly, and rose from the chair. After dropping a few coins on the counter for Rosmerta, he quickly followed the hooded figure out of The Three Broomsticks.
Remus followed as discreetly as he could…his heightened senses certainly an advantage in tracking someone as singular as Severus. He recognized the scent of the hooded figure immediately…it was Peter Pettigrew. He watched as the two mounted their brooms and took off. Returning his own broom to its original form, Remus followed after them at a comfortable distance.
"What I would not give for an Invisibility Cloak," he thought to himself as he kept his eyes trained on the flying pair so far ahead of him.
After flying for some time, Remus noticed that they were descending towards a small clearing in the forest. This was good, because the trees surrounding the clearing would offer him cover, as he got closer to them. He hovered just above the leafy canopy as he watched the two men dismount.
"What do you want, Wormtail?" Severus drawled in a deliberately neutral voice.
Wormtail grinned maniacally, "I am here to make you an offer."
"What makes you think I am interested in dealing with mudspawn such as yourself."
Wormtail bristled with rage but, with effort, managed to keep the mechanical smile in place.
"I know all about you, Severus."
Remus could see that Severus blanched for just a moment before recovering himself.
"I don't know what you are talking about," Severus replied, his voice betraying nothing.
Wormtail sidled closer to Severus, leering at him.
"I know you are playing the Dark Lord for an idiot. You are a spy. A spy for that old fool, Dumbledore. You are a member of the Order of the Phoenix. Do you know what that means?"
"Enlighten me," Severus retorted sarcastically.
"It means you are a dead man once the Dark Lord finds out…if he finds out."
"I'm listening although I am not admitting to these ridiculous charges."
"Don't try to lie to me, Severus. I know all about your meetings and how you saved Potter's life last year when Lucius Malfoy had captured him. I know all about how you managed to persuade Lucius' son, Draco, not to join the Dark Lord's ranks. I know how you have been working with the Mudblood and the muggle-loving Weasley on a variety of healing potions, specifically to restore a person's sanity after being prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus Curse. A pity you did not find that potion in time to help the Longbottoms," Wormtail whispered hatefully.
Remus closed his eyes suddenly in pain. Ron had told him the entire story. Ron, Hermione and Severus had developed such a potion and had gone to St. Mungo's in the hopes of restoring Neville's parents to normal…to finally find out what had happened and who was really responsible for their torture. When they arrived at the padded room, they had been sickened to see that both had been killed…slaughtered…there had been blood everywhere. Someone had callously dipped a finger in their spilled blood and had written on the wall…"Too Late…You Will Be Next." Ron had said he had never seen Severus look so ill…and Severus had seen many awful things.
"You are a fool, Wormtail," Severus spat on the ground.
"Perhaps, dear friend, but I do have all the proof I require to guarantee you a most painful death."
"Not that I would wish to deprive you of such an obviously amusing prospect, but what are you proposing as an alternative?"
"I want the Mudblood."
Remus felt white-hot rage grow inside his heart and looked at Severus. If it were possible for Severus to turn even paler, he did so.
"No!" Severus exclaimed in a hoarse voice.
"You have no choice, Severus," Wormtail wheedled, "Give me the little Mudblood. I promise not to harm her too much…not visibly at least. I only wish to have a little fun with her, pay her back for some rather uncalled for treatment on her part."
"You are insane, Wormtail," Severus hissed, an expression of utter loathing on his face. " I will not just hand her over to you so that you can torture and rape her."
"You make that sound rather terrible. She is a Mudblood. That is all she is good for," Wormtail spat hatefully.
Remus angrily drew his wand, an ugly expression on his face…an expression of bloodlust.
"I would rather die first," Severus muttered darkly.
"That can be arranged," Wormtail lashed out unexpectedly at Severus with his metallic arm, hitting him in the back of the head and causing him to fall to the ground, unconscious.
"You arrogant fool!" Wormtail cackled insanely as he pointed his wand at the prone figure, " I will kill you first and then I will grab the little Mudblood and enjoy her again and again until I tire of her. Her screams will be a most delightful music to my ears and I hope you will be able to hear her…from hell! So, you see, dear friend, I get to win after all."
Remus knew that Wormtail was about to cast a Killing Curse on Severus and, without a moment's hesitation, blindly urged his broom forward at breakneck speed. He barreled into his opponent's back; causing Wormtail to fall, face first, into the ground.
Before he could get up, Remus launched a Full Body Bind curse on the smaller man and summoned his wand away from him. He was breathing heavily, every instinct screaming at him to kill the Death Eater on the ground…destroy him as he had destroyed so many others…
Willing himself to calm down somewhat, Remus kicked at him, rather violently, in order to turn him over so that he was looking upwards.
"No, mudspawn," Remus growled in a dangerous voice…a voice laced with the threat of death, "you do not get to win."
Wormtail's eyes opened wide with horror but Remus left him on the ground to attend to Severus, blood still pounding in his ears as he assisted the unconscious man. He tried to get him into a somewhat seated position and slapped him lightly on the face. Slowly, Severus' eyes began to open.
"What…what happened?" he asked Remus groggily.
"You were very brave. Stupid, but brave," Remus said quietly.
Severus' eyes grew wide as he remembered what had just happened.
"Where is he?"
"He's over there. Don't worry. He is not going anywhere anytime soon. I have made sure of that."
Severus looked over to where Wormtail lay on the ground.
"He wanted to…"
"I know."
"I couldn't do that."
"I know that too, Severus."
"He was going to kill me."
"You are still here."
"Thanks to you," Severus looked up at him, "despite the fact I did not deserve it."
"You were willing to sacrifice yourself for her…that, in itself, shows that you did."
"I could do no less. She is my friend."
"As I am, Severus."
Severus looked at him with tired eyes, hooded with hidden pain.
"Yes, Remus. Yes, you are."
***************End of Flashback*****************
"Besides," Remus continued, "you have always ensured that I never lacked for the Wolfsbane Potion, no matter where I found myself. That, in itself, proves that you have changed and are worthy. And you helped me bring Wormtail to Azkaban…thereby exonerating Sirius."
Severus sighed deeply. Then, as if finally remembering something, Severus reached into his robes pocket and pulled out a small piece of parchment.
"It seems we have a new Charms teacher," he commented quietly.
"Really? So Flitwick has decided to retire for good this time?" Remus smiled. It had been a running joke for years how Flitwick would announce his retirement at the end of the school year, only to turn up again at the next.
"It would appear so, Remus. This is a note from Minerva saying that they have found a replacement. She should be arriving tonight, actually."
"Who is it? I hope that it isn't Miss Delacoeur or Miss Chang. I know they each were interested in the position, should it ever become available, but I am not convinced that they can establish a good relationship with the students," Remus looked rather concerned.
"I don't think anyone has ever accused me of establishing good relationships with students," Severus chuckled.
Remus looked rather embarrassed.
"No offence taken, Remus. I am fully aware of what my students thought of me…and it was hardly complimentary."
"You have changed, Severus."
Severus smirked good-naturedly at his decidedly uncomfortable colleague.
"So, should I bother telling you who the newest Professor will be?"
"I would like to know," Remus answered.
Severus grinned, "Hermione Granger."
"What!?" Remus stood up quickly.
Severus looked at Remus in alarm. "Are you all right?"
"She…she is going to be here…teaching?" Remus stammered, his heart suddenly racing.
"That is generally the point to accepting a teaching assignment at Hogwarts."
"Severus, don't be a fool. I mean…she is going to be here…everyday."
"Should I bother telling you how foolish you are sounding? Of course she is going to be here everyday. What is the matter with you?"
Severus looked at his frantic colleague and, suddenly, the grin disappeared from his face.
"Remus?"
Remus did not look at him. He walked over to the window and opened it, gulping in the early evening air hungrily. The moon would be rising soon…
"I am sorry, Remus. I didn't realize that you still…"
"Don't say it," Remus whispered harshly, clinging to the window as if it were the only thing holding him up.
"Did you ever tell her?"
"Of course not."
"And you still…"
"Yes…yes…" Remus muttered, almost to himself.
Severus sighed. This was a situation with which he had very little experience. He had no advice to offer to his friend and, quite honestly, was at a bit of a loss as to what he should do. He stood up and walked over to where Remus was standing.
"Remus, are you sure you will be all right tomorrow?"
"Yes, thank you, Severus. The moon will be rising soon and it is probably best if you go."
Severus didn't move. "You have taken your potion. You will not be a danger to anyone. I thought you might like some company."
Remus shook his head. "I don't feel up to that. I just want to be alone tonight. There is much for me to think about. I appreciate your offer, Severus, but I must decline."
Severus nodded. He could well understand the need to be alone…to think…to prepare…
"Where will you…"
"I will go into the Forbidden Forest and, perhaps, by the lake. It will be quiet since the students have not arrived yet."
"I will see you in the morning. Good night, Remus. Take care of yourself."
"Good night, Severus, and…thank you," Remus turned to his friend. Severus was shocked to see such an expression of pain on his face but he knew that Remus earnestly wanted to be alone and so he left the room quickly and quietly, closing the door behind him.
Remus stared at the door for several moments, lost in his thoughts. She was coming back. How was he going to deal with that? Why had Minerva not told him that she was even being considered for the job?
Was she still as beautiful as in his memories? Did she remember…graduation…the very thought of that incident made his heart ache profoundly and he shuddered slightly. It had been over three years and it still…still what exactly? He was suddenly very nervous.
As he pondered these questions, he felt a familiar shivering in his bones and, as he turned once again to the window, he saw the full moon, beautiful and terrible, rising in the night sky. He moaned in anguish as the transformation began…skin stretching, bones lengthening and teeth changing into hideous fangs. Although he had become somewhat accustomed to the pain, it was still a horrendous thing to endure.
The werewolf that was Remus looked around the chamber and suddenly felt confined.
"I must go outside," he thought to himself as he leapt through the open window and made his way to the ground.
As he raced towards the Forbidden Forest, he saw a horseless carriage approach Hogwarts.
He ran even faster.