Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me is the plot. Everything else belongs to JK Rowling with many thanks.
Chapter Five: The Sorting Feast
Hermione only spent a couple of days in the infirmary, being tended to by Madam Pomfrey. Thankfully, this forced isolation had the added benefit of not having to be around…other professors. It also gave her time to think about how she was going to handle the situation.
"I have to act as if nothing happened," she thought to herself as she sat in her own chambers, sipping a glass of a special pumpkin cordial Severus (how odd it was to be calling all her former professors by their first name) had concocted for her.
Tonight was the Sorting Feast and the students would be arriving shortly. Minerva had asked her to look after the sorting of the students and had given her the parchment roll with all the names of the new first years. To say she was nervous would have been a gross understatement. It was bad enough that she would be sitting at the same table…but to be in such a prominent position…in front of everyone. To think that he would be watching her…she needed a brandy, not this pumpkin cordial.
She glanced over the names on the parchment and sighed. There were no Weasleys, no Grangers, no Potters and no Malfoys. It was actually quite odd…hard to imagine a Hogwarts without Harry…without Ron…without Draco…without…
No, she could no longer dwell on the past. She had to move on. She had to show that she had gotten over him…over the incident.
Even if, in reality, she hadn't.
"Damn him," she muttered under her breath as she left her chambers, parchment in hand and looking particularly murderous.
"My dear Hermione," Severus' voice sounded beside her, "You look as if you are ready to hex someone."
"Perhaps I am," she responded sullenly, turning to face him.
The Potions Master smirked. "Now, we do not want to frighten away the first years before they get sorted."
Sighing, Hermione smiled somewhat at her former professor. He did have a point.
"I am still not feeling particularly well," which was the truth…in a way.
"Yes, I suppose some things take time from which to recover," he commented casually.
She glanced at him in surprise but his gaze remained annoyingly neutral.
"Some things take forever," she replied quietly, turning away from him.
She did not see the slight smile threatening to turn up the corners of his mouth. He simply held out his right arm.
"Come. I will escort you to the Great Hall," he said in a mockingly pompous tone.
Hermione looked at him suspiciously.
"I just want to be certain you make it there without damaging anything…or anyone," he smirked good-naturedly.
Hermione laughed, all the bitterness temporarily replaced by a sense of mirth and the amazing realization that he had been capable of making her laugh.
"By all means, kind sir, I accept your gracious offer," she placed her hand in the crook of his elbow and they proceeded along the corridor. Would wonders never cease?
"I understand that you were in favor of my appointment here," she commented.
He smiled at her, "Hermione, I know that I was a most…exacting professor…"
Hermione chuckled softly, "That was not the word I would have used."
Severus smirked, "No, I suppose any word you would have used to describe me would have required censorship."
Hermione nodded, still chuckling. "Please continue, Severus."
"I have always recognized talent and you had talent and I knew you would be an excellent teacher. You had the gift for it…just look at how much you helped Longbottom. When you went off to become an Auror…well, frankly, I was somewhat disappointed. I didn't understand what made you want to pursue that line of work."
"No," she thought to herself as they continued walking, "I suppose you wouldn't. You never did run away…you stayed to fight…to make a difference. You were able to face your darkness…your moment of weakness. I could not."
"Apparently you did very well in Auror training," he continued, not noticing her pensive expression. "That, in itself, was not surprising. I always felt you would succeed in anything you really put your mind to. But I thought, at some point, you would return to teaching…and you did. And I am glad. The students will certainly benefit. We need them to be prepared…especially at this time…"
His voice trailed off and Hermione noticed his gaze become somewhat distant. She knew what he was thinking about and unconsciously her gaze drifted towards his left arm and on the Dark Mark hidden under the cover of his robes.
"Yes," she said, suddenly feeling kinship with this enigmatic man with so much darkness and light intermingled in his soul, "We must prepare them."
He looked at her and nodded firmly, the familiar glitter returning to his black eyes.
They entered the Great Hall together. It was empty, except for one person.
"I see Minerva is waiting for you," Severus whispered as she shyly withdrew her hand. "Good luck."
"Thank you," she whispered back as she hurried over to where Minerva was standing. Severus left the Great Hall, presumably to gather up the Slytherin students as they arrived in the horseless carriages.
"Good evening, Hermione," Minerva beamed, "I am glad to see you are looking much more like your usual self. The first thing we must do is retrieve the Sorting Hat from the Headmaster's office."
"I can do that now," Hermione stated.
"All right. The password is "Droobles." After you have returned and we have set up the Sorting Hat here, I will bring you over to the back entrance by the grotto where the first years' boats will be docked. It is a secret passage…one that is protected from the students. After this year, you will be able to do this on your own. This year I will accompany you just so you become familiar with the entire process."
Hermione smiled at the implication in Minerva's words. She was going to be here for a few years at the very least. Well, as long as she survived tonight…
"I'll be back as soon as I can," Hermione said quickly and then turned to go to the office in which the Sorting Hat waited patiently.
It didn't take long to get there…provided you knew exactly which turns to take. After giving the password to the gargoyle, she hurried along the moving staircase to the office. She knocked politely but there was no answer.
"He's probably already on his way to the Sorting Feast," she thought to herself as she opened the door to let herself in, hoping that she wasn't setting off some wizarding alarm
The office was just as she had remembered it. Full of bookcases with an odd assortment of wizarding and muggle works of literature. There were a few teaching certificates and photos of staff and students. She recognized one picture…it was her own graduation and it featured herself, Ron, Harry and Dumbledore smiling broadly and waving. Severus stood in the background, rolling his eyes upwards at such a display. Minerva stood beside Severus and she appeared to be chuckling. If Hermione had to guess, Minerva was laughing at an example of the Potions Master's wry wit.
She was about to move towards the Sorting Hat when something caught her eye and made her stop.
He was in the photograph as well!
He was looking at her…watching her…not even paying attention to the camera.
An uneasy feeling settled into her stomach, like a thousand butterflies suddenly being let loose. There was something in that look…something…
She walked over to the glass cabinet and, upon opening the door, removed the Sorting Hat from its usual spot of repose.
"Time for another Sorting, my dear Hat," she said fondly, remembering her own Sorting years before with a slight smile. She had been very nervous, to be true, but very confident that she would get into Gryffindor.
She closed the cabinet door carefully when she heard a sound that made her turn around, hat in hand.
"Hermione!" Remus exclaimed, causing her to almost drop the Sorting Hat on the floor.
For a moment, all she could do was stare at him. He had not changed much over the last few years. His hair had a few more strands of gray, there were one or two more lines in his face but he was still the same person…the same person she had admired so much on that trip to Hogwarts back in third year.
"I didn't realize you would be here," he spoke first, rather quickly. "I came to ask the Headmaster a question and, since he wasn't in the Great Hall, I assumed he might be here."
"I came to collect the Sorting Hat," she replied, holding the Hat out as proof that she simply had not been lying in wait for him. She was quite aware that she was standing rather stiffly but she couldn't help it. She just wasn't ready for this.
"Yes, of course."
The silence that followed was very uncomfortable. Within moments, she found it unbearable.
"If there is nothing further, Professor Lupin," she said, in as neutral a tone as she could muster and with a painfully forced smile, "I cannot keep Minerva and the entire first year class waiting."
And, without waiting for an explanation, she raced out of the room, not wanting to dwell on the fact that a tingle went down her spine as she brushed by him.
Not wanting to dwell on the fact that he had been looking at her just as he had in the photograph.
"Damn him," she thought to herself violently as she resolutely fought off the tears that were threatening to spill onto her flaming cheeks.
It was going to be a long year if that was any indication.
She had managed to calm herself by the time she had reached the Great Hall and had convinced Minerva that her frantic expression was on account of her being afraid of making a mistake and hurrying back a little too quickly.
Minerva smiled, "Don't worry so much. It's really the Sorting Hat who does the work for you."
They went off together towards the back entrance, Hermione keeping the route firmly implanted in her brain. Concentrating on the task at hand made it that much easier to forget about Remus and his searching glances…those eyes…
"And here is the doorway," Minerva stopped in front of a rather imposing oak door, majestic in its proportions. "There is no magic required to open it from the inside. It's rather prosaic, you simply push down on the handle and pull the door open."
Hermione did so and was immediately confronted with the faces of many, many first years that were looking at her in awe, respect and, in many cases, abject fear. She glanced at Minerva nervously. The older witch nodded, as if in approval.
"Good evening, students. I am Professor Granger, Charms Mistress at Hogwarts and Deputy Head of Gryffindor House. To my right, is Professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor House. We would like to welcome you to Hogwarts and escort you to the Great Hall where your peers are waiting for you. Come along and please try to keep up…it would not do to get lost on your first night."
Minerva hid her sudden smile with her hand as she walked beside Hermione.
"Don't tell them about Peeves just yet…they look terrified," the older witch whispered. Hermione nodded with a grin on her face.
The two witches led them back towards the Great Hall. Along the way, she could catch snippets of their hushed conversations.
"Don't remember my brother mentioning her. She must be a new addition."
"She is the Charms professor, right?"
"You prat! That's Harry Potter's friend."
"Yeah, she used to date the Bulgarian seeker, Krum."
"Isn't he the twit who married that half-Veela? His Quidditch career sort of stalled after that."
"I wonder what house I will be sorted in?"
"Has to be Gryffindor."
"Rubbish. Slytherin is the best house."
"Ravenclaw has you both beat."
"Not a chance. Hufflepuff is the place to be."
"The Sorting is not going to hurt, is it?"
"I'm starving. I hope the food is good."
"Has anyone seen my newt?"
Hermione smiled as a sense of déja vu washed over her. She paused before the entrance to the Great Hall, where she knew all the other students were already sitting…waiting…
"Students. In a moment you will enter the Great Hall where your peers are waiting for you and where you will be sorted into your respective houses. Points will be given and taken from your house based on your behavior. At the end of the year, the house with the most points will win the House Cup so it is to your advantage to not indulge in senseless horseplay or pranks."
She opened the door and, closely followed by Minerva, led all of the first years to the front of the Great Hall where the Sorting Hat stood on its little three-legged stool. She refused to look at the Head Table at all. She had good reason not to…
The Sorting Hat came to life and indulged in its traditional song. It seemed as if the somber atmosphere of such dangerous times had affected the Hat as well. This year's song was not nearly as jovial and light-hearted as years past. It was almost…a lament.
Hermione could not shake the feeling that this did not bode well and then firmly rebuked herself for thinking like that misguided mystic, Sybil.
Turning back to the students, she picked up the Hat gently in one hand and the parchment roll in the other.
"Students, I will call out your names alphabetically. When your name is called, you will come sit down on the stool and place the Hat on your head. The Hat will call out which house you will belong to at which point you may join your housemates at the appropriate table."
Hermione read out one name after another and placed the Hat gently on each student's head. It was the same every years. Sometimes the decision took mere seconds. Sometimes considerably longer. It was rather funny to see the expressions on the faces of the students…some of them probably expected the hat to eat them whole.
Finally, as the final student was sorted (Wesleyan – Hufflepuff), she rolled up the parchment and, picking up the Hat, was about to bring both back to Dumbledore's office when Minerva touched her on the shoulder.
"I will see to returning these. Go sit down and enjoy yourself tonight. The real work will begin tomorrow," the older witch smiled at her.
"Thank you, Minerva. It has been…a rather full day," she remarked.
Minerva pointed her towards the table where there were two vacant seats beside Severus. Quickly deciding that sitting beside the Potions Master might not be such a bad thing after all, she hurried over and sat down, not daring to look at anyone else at the table.
"You did well, Hermione," Severus remarked as he sat back in his chair.
"I was very nervous," which was true enough.
"I doubt you were as nervous as those first years. They are traditionally a terror-stricken lot," he drawled.
Dumbledore stood up and waited to address the student body.
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" he exclaimed happily, "It is always so wonderful to see old faces returning and new faces just beginning. It is my hope that you will find your time here useful and interesting. I have a few announcements to make before we begin our feast. First years are reminded that they are not allowed into the Forbidden Forest on any pretence. We have two new staff members joining us this year. First of all, I am pleased to announce that Professor Granger has graciously accepted the position of Charms Mistress at Hogwarts, now that Professor Flitwick has really and truly resigned. The second appointment is for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position and that has been offered to and accepted by Remus Lupin."
There was widespread applause at the announcements and Hermione was secretly grateful that the students were not fearful of him. A much better reception than last time.
"So now, if there is nothing else, let the feast begin!"
And the golden plates were magically filled to bursting and the sounds of contented eating permeated the Great Hall.
"You are not eating, Hermione," Severus remonstrated, "Minerva will not be pleased."
"I am old enough to take care of myself," Hermione reminded him, stabbing at a piece of veal rather violently and missing…the fork slipped out of her hand and clattered noisily on the floor.
"Oh dear," she muttered, glaring at Severus, who was chuckling at her. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him. She reached down to pick up the fallen utensil when someone else's hand brushed against hers.
"I…was going to pick that up for you," Remus said quietly as he knelt beside her and handed her the fork.
Hermione accepted the fork, trying desperately to ignore the awareness of his fingers touching hers ever so slightly.
"Thank you," she said quietly. He nodded and sat down in the empty seat beside hers.
"You're welcome," he replied, handing her the flagon of pumpkin juice, "Something to drink?"
"Yes, please," she picked up her goblet and held it out while he poured carefully, proud that her hand was not trembling.
"It's quite incredible that Flitwick actually retired," Remus smiled slightly, "He has been saying that he would do it for countless years…it was a running joke."
"I used to think he came with Hogwarts…they looked to be about the same age," Severus smirked.
Hermione chuckled. The diminutive former professor certainly did look as if he were as old as the institution itself.
"I wonder what prompted him to really do it this time?" Remus questioned, sipping his pumpkin juice thoughtfully.
"Does it matter? We needed some new blood in this school. Wouldn't you agree, Remus?" Severus asked pointedly.
"Yes, of course, Severus," Remus replied rather hastily.
"Are you glad to be back teaching at Hogwarts?" Hermione surprised herself by asking Remus the question. And she could tell, by his reaction, that he was surprised as well.
"Yes," he finally answered, "I am very glad to be back. I have always felt that this place was like a home to me. It's the only place that has felt like home for…well, for a very long time."
Hermione felt a pang in her heart as she thought about what he had said.
"Hogwarts is like that," Severus remarked, picking up a radish with his fork and frowning at it, "It is a sanctuary for those of us who need it."
They continued on in their meal, chatting quietly about many things. Hermione felt that Remus was watching her and that irritated her somewhat. The man had no right to think…
Think what?
"He has no right to think I still love him," she thought to herself.
"Well," Severus announced, getting up," I must make sure my first years make it to the Slytherin common room in one piece. Have a good evening and I will see you in the morning at breakfast."
"Good night, Severus," Hermione replied.
"Good night," Remus repeated.
Severus hurried after his first years, grumbling incoherently, as he could see they were already going in the wrong direction.
"Think he'll lose them?" Remus asked, leaning towards her slightly.
"If he didn't manage to lose Crabbe and Goyle, I'm sure this lot will be quite safe," Hermione quipped.
Remus laughed.
"Your point is well taken," he smiled.
Hermione decided that now was probably the best time to leave so she got up. "I have to get some rest tonight. I am still somewhat tired from…all the excitement of being here and all that and I want to make certain I am in top form tomorrow. Those first years can be testy."
Remus got up as well, out of courtesy.
"I will see you tomorrow morning?" she couldn't exactly determine if it was a question or not.
"Of course. Good night."
"Good night, Hermione. I…I am glad we will be working together," he said sincerely.
She smiled somewhat but did not answer…could not answer without him noticing the tremble sure to be in her voice…she simply nodded in a noncommittal sort of way and somehow found her way into the corridor and, finally, to her own chambers. She flopped onto her bed heavily and stared at the ceiling.
After a few minutes of staring she realized that, rather than feeling sleepy, she felt restless. She got up and searched for her photograph album which was somewhere in her dresser. With a sense of triumph, she found it and brought it over to her bed.
The album was filled with photographs that Colin Creevey had taken from about second year onwards. It was a nice record of her years at Hogwarts. She skipped forward to pictures from third year and stopped. There was the picture she was looking for. The one immediately following the Quidditch victory, which had won Gryffindor the Cup for the first time in so many years. The trophy was in the center of the picture. Harry and Ron were practically draped over it, with goofy grins on their faces. The rest of the Gryffindor team was in the background, the twins setting off firecrackers in Percy's pockets while Penelope laughed hysterically.
And there she was. And there he was.
And she remembered…
She remembered the excitement of the moment. She remembered Ron picking her up and whirling her around like a rag doll, screaming at the top of his lungs. She remembered laughing at him and getting very dizzy. She remembered Harry hugging her so tightly that she found it difficult to breathe. She remembered turning around and practically falling onto Professor Lupin…Remus…
She remembered how she had kissed him…a very different sort of kiss from the grateful peck on the cheek back on the Hogwarts Express. She had softly touched her lips to his before she had even realized what she was doing. His reaction to that kiss was not at all what she had expected. She had expected him to back away, to somehow gently reproach her for crossing some line in the behavior deemed acceptable between teacher and student. He had not done either. He had simply smiled at her and caressed her cheek delicately, a gesture that somehow seemed so much more intimate than a kiss. It had mesmerized her.
It still made her catch her breath…even now.
And the evidence was there, in the picture. The two of them were not looking at the Cup…were not looking at their friends…they were absorbed in each other.
A moment of awareness caught by the flash of a camera.
The moment she first realized she loved him.
Tonight…almost eight years later…despite everything that had happened to her…despite her infatuation with Viktor…she realized that had never changed.