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Chapter Ten: Full Disclosure
Telling Severus
As it turned out, Severus was not nearly as impossible as Hermione and Remus feared. In fact, after a few melodramatic sighs and unintelligible mutterings regarding the utter hopelessness of Gryffindor House and its alumni, he more or less left them to their own devices.
"About bloody time…I don't know how much longer I could have stomached the role of matchmaker between you two," he finally grumbled although Hermione had the strongest suspicion that he was genuinely pleased.
Telling Dumbledore
Sitting at the breakfast table, Albus turned to Hermione to offer her some pumpkin juice.
"You seem very happy today," he commented as he poured. "And I am pleased to see Remus so much more composed and relaxed. He gave me an awful shock and I was most afraid for him. He is a good man…one we cannot afford to lose. I wish you both joy…there is little enough of it in this world…especially now."
Hermione shot the Headmaster of Hogwarts a grateful glance as she nodded in agreement. She felt a hand cover hers and turned to Remus. He had a shy smile on his face but he did not move his hand and, indeed, she did not wish him to.
Telling Sirius
Sirius was somewhat more of a challenge. He stormed into the staff room where Hermione and Severus were playing a game of Wizard Chess while Remus looked on in quiet contemplation. The other professors had already retired for the evening.
"Is it true?" Sirius blurted out angrily.
Hermione looked at Remus in sudden concern. Remus sighed. They both knew this was coming but neither one could think of what to say. There was an awkward silence while Sirius tapped his foot impatiently.
"Yes, Black, it is very true. Hermione and I are passionately in love with each other and are planning to elope this very night. Is that not right, my love?" Severus drawled in a mocking voice as he moved a pawn after careful consideration.
For a moment, Sirius looked stunned and confused at the same time, looking at each of them in turn.
"What in Merlin's name are you talking about? I just overheard Flitwick and Hooch talking about you and Remus! Don't tell me Snape is involved in this as well." Really, Sirius looked like he was either going to throw up, faint or both.
Hermione laughed while Remus shook his head.
"It is as you say, Black. They are…in love," Severus rolled his eyes as if to emphasize his thoughts on the entire process of falling in love. Falling into a vat of undiluted bubotuber pus almost seemed preferable to the Potions Master.
"Bloody hell, Remus! What are you thinking? She's far too young for you. What will Harry and Ron say about this? What about her parents? Have you thought about that? How are they going to react when they find out their only child has a werewolf for a lover?" Sirius shouted, frantically pacing the room and looking for something to throw. Severus surreptitiously cast a spell on the chessboard and pieces to keep them from knocked over. After all, the game had been on for almost four hours and he was set on winning.
"Stop talking about me as if I am not here, Sirius!" Hermione glared, hands on her hips.
Sirius suddenly turned to her. "And you, young lady…I don't even want to know what possessed you to…to…" Sirius stopped and blushed furiously.
"To fall in love with Remus?" She asked.
"You're too young to know what love is, Hermione," Sirius grunted. Hermione shook her head as she turned her attention back to the chessboard and contemplated her next move.
"Am I too young to know, Sirius?" Remus asked pointedly, moving to stand beside Hermione. Severus, massaging his temples fiercely, watched Hermione take one of his pieces in a well-executed move he had not counted on. It did not improve his mood…or his headache.
"You're old enough to know better," Sirius finally answered. "It's not just the age difference, Remus. There are…well…other considerations that you need to keep in mind. This isn't right."
"And what is so wrong about two people loving each other unconditionally?" Severus stepped into the conversation from where he sat, moving a knight in a way that made Hermione scowl.
"This from someone who wouldn't know love if it hit him across the face with a Quidditch bat," Sirius snarled.
"Oh, that is rich coming from someone who never could differentiate between love and making love," Severus rebuked as he watched Hermione with some satisfaction…she was torn between two possible strategies.
"You know what Remus is. You know the danger he could pose to her," Sirius pleaded. He turned to Remus with a sad expression. "Do you really want to risk her life like this?"
"As long as he takes his potion, he poses no threat to me. You, of all people, should know that," Hermione replied quietly, a spark of something dangerous in her eyes as she made her move.
"And what if something happened and he could not take his potion? What then?"
"I'm an animagus, Sirius," Hermione gently reminded.
"Anything else, Black?" Severus asked, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling. He had to consider his next move carefully.
"Do you love him, Hermione?" Sirius inquired, placing an arm on hers and looking at her intently.
"Yes, I do…very much," she replied softly but with a gaze that did not waver.
"And you," Sirius turned to face Remus. "Do you love her?"
"I have loved her for a long time, Sirius," Remus answered, looking at Hermione and smiling. Hermione smiled back.
Sirius sighed in resignation and shook his head. "Well, it could have been worse, I suppose. It could have been you, Snape."
Severus glared at Sirius. "Or it could have been you," he snapped coldly as he took one of Hermione's castles.
Hermione grinned and Remus simply rolled his eyes in exasperation at the antics of the two men.
"Can we call it a truce or do you want to whine about it a bit longer," she smiled.
Sirius simply grunted but Severus chuckled and muttered something under his breath.
"Who's going to tell Harry and Ron?" Sirius demanded.
Hermione took another pawn from Severus.
"We were hoping you would, Black because, as we can all attest, your unique sense of subtlety and your superlative communication skills make you the best candidate for the job," Severus replied blandly.
Hermione gave the most convincing impression of a cat coughing up hairballs in her attempt to conceal her laughter.
"Just like your sense of style, Snape," Sirius snapped back.
In anger, Severus made a move that made Hermione smile for just an instant. He buried his face in his hands.
"He's right, Sirius," Remus stepped between the two men. "No, not about that but you are the best person to tell them…give them a chance to assimilate the knowledge before we go visit them. They have a right to know and they have a right to know from someone they trust."
Hermione sent Severus a warning glance as he opened his mouth to say something in response.
"Yes, Sirius," she continued before Severus could speak, "it should be you. Checkmate, Severus."
Severus knocked over his king in disgust.
"I just hope they do not decide to hex the messenger," Sirius groaned.
Hermione sent Severus another warning glance…just in case.
Telling Ron and Harry
"Why didn't you ever tell us about this, Hermione?" Harry asked in an injured tone.
"We're your best friends and we have to find out from Sirius?" Ron exclaimed.
"When did you ever care about my love life?" Hermione asked petulantly.
Both boys became quiet.
"Well, we knew Krum wasn't good enough for you," Harry insisted.
"And we told you not to get too chummy with that no-good, two-timing, evil bastard," Ron scowled at the memory.
"We just never thought…I mean…we never realized that you would fall for someone…" Harry hesitated, trying to find the words that wouldn't sound offensive.
"So much different than you," Ron finished.
Remus smiled. "And what about me?"
"Hermione is a great person…I think everyone loves her," Harry said with a sincere expression.
"She's smart, funny, pretty…what's not to love?" Ron smirked. "Once you get past the whole book and library obsession thing that is."
Hermione threw a crumpet at Ron in mock anger and the entire group burst into laughter.
"Hermione. To me, the most important thing is that you are happy. Are you happy?" Harry asked.
"Yes, I am," she answered truthfully.
"And you, Professor Lupin?" Ron asked.
Remus nodded emphatically.
Ron turned to Harry and shrugged. "It could have been worse, Harry."
"How so, Ron?"
"It could have been Snape."
Telling Each Other
They settled into a comfortable routine over the course of the following weeks. Hermione continued to occupy her own room as did Remus but, inevitably, one would join the other after dinner. Most nights were simply spent talking…getting to know one another better. Some nights were spent walking by the lake, simply being silent together and enjoying the feeling of having one's beloved next to them. They talked about their childhood. For the first time, Remus spoke of his parents and spoke in great detail about the incident in the forest which changed his life so long ago.
Hermione, for her part, talked about an awkward childhood where she was adored by her parents but ignored by classmates. Always the smart one…never the pretty one or the popular one or the athletic one. She never fell into the trap of trying to change herself to suit others but she never felt completely happy either. Her love of learning doomed her to a life of loneliness it seemed. That changed when she came to Hogwarts and met Harry and Ron. They had brought out a surprisingly rebellious side to her.
One night, when they were lying entwined blissfully in each other's arms, they talked about the night of the Leaving Feast. Hermione first broached the subject.
"Remus, why did you kiss me that night?" Hermione asked, snuggling closer to him to emphasize that she was merely curious and not angry.
Remus' arms tightened on her the merest fraction and he was silent for a moment before answering.
"You were in so much pain…a pain I recognized full well, having lived with it for a long time. But I would not wish you to think that I kissed you out of pity. That was not the case at all," he started hesitantly. Hermione could feel his heart begin to quicken and knew he was nervous.
"Then what was it?" She continued.
"Hermione, I think I fell in love with you the first time I ever saw you even though it shames me to say it. Do you remember…that trip to Hogwarts in your third year?"
Hermione shuddered as she remembered the encounter with the Dementor. "Yes, I remember," she answered in a small voice.
Remus kissed her forehead. "I was not fast asleep but I was dozing. The journey to get to the station had been exhausting and I had rather hoped for a compartment to myself. But, alas, that was not to be."
Hermione giggled as she lazily ran her hand up and down Remus' arm. The hair on his arm was soft, not coarse at all and she loved the feel of it against her fingers.
"I think it was your voice that made me pay attention to you. It was a lovely voice, mature and innocent at the same time. I listened to you talking to Harry and Ron and was sorely tempted to open my eyes to see what you looked like. And then, the Dementor appeared at the door and Harry was seized with terror. I knew what he must have been seeing and I quickly performed the Patronus Spell."
"I remember the chocolate…I always identify you with chocolate," Hermione smiled.
"I remember how you and Ron looked at me as we waited for Harry to regain consciousness. It had been a very long time since anyone had ever looked at me like that."
Hermione was puzzled. "Like what?"
"Like I was someone to be admired and respected. I had always been ashamed and humiliated because of my condition and here was this beautiful young girl looking at me as if I was something beautiful as well. I was rather overcome with emotions that I was not used to."
"I thought you were wonderful…so calm when the rest of us were panicking," Hermione said quietly.
Remus kissed the top of her head softly. "I watched you after that and I noticed many things about you that I don't believe anyone else realized."
"Such as?"
"The way you bite your quill when you are thinking deeply. The fact that you bite your lower lip when you are nervous. It was not…a physical attraction, mind you. You were only thirteen…I'm not quite as depraved as all that," Remus quickly added. "The way you doodled…very geometric and symmetrical drawings…the signs of a well-organized and intelligent mind. I also saw your relationship with Harry and Ron and I knew that you were loyal, fearless and possessed all the qualities that Godric Gryffindor himself would have cherished. Of course, there was that quasi Slytherin side to you…a touch of subterfuge that intrigued me as well. "
"But you left without ever saying goodbye to me."
"You had kept my secret so well and I had repaid you by almost hurting you. The guilt was horrible…I felt that I could never look into your eyes again without feeling bitter remorse. I hated that I had placed you in such danger. I was ashamed that you had to see that…see the monster that I am. If anything had happened to you...I don't know what I would have done. I just wanted to leave and never hurt you again…I had already betrayed your trust and that was bad enough."
Hermione looked up at him. "I was so upset that you left…angry at Severus…angry at Harry because he had had a chance to talk to you. I was angry at everyone because I wanted you back so badly."
"Why?"
"Because I liked being with you. You were so knowledgeable and had been out in the world. You were strong…a lot stronger than anyone really gave you credit for. The fact that you were able to survive all that time…coping with the tremendous strain that your condition extols…I admired you. I know other students thought you were weak and perhaps too gentle but I knew otherwise. You have always had a quiet strength…the kind that does not pronounce itself through great feats like Harry but the kind that endures whatever comes and always works for the benefit of others and never gives up, no matter the cost," she replied.
"What about Viktor?"
"Viktor was a mistake. He flattered me and coddled me but I never felt that I had his love. And I realized that I was substituting him for the one I really wanted. It really was a blessing when it was over."
"You didn't seem to think so at the time."
"I was sad because I had liked Viktor in a way and I certainly didn't like feeling used. I was also very upset about leaving Hogwarts…it had become more like a home to me than my own home was. You could say that I was terrified of going out into the real world and mad at myself for feeling so weak."
"You weren't weak, Hermione. Most students feel uncomfortable leaving Hogwarts. One feels safe here," Remus assured her.
"When you found me…I realized that…that I had never loved Viktor…that it was you I loved and that realization left me speechless. It's rather unnerving to be crying over a lost love only to discover that the one who is meant for you is sitting next to you," Hermione whispered.
"I felt much the same way. It was as if all the feelings I had fought to suppress suddenly surged out of me. I was carried away on a flood of emotions and it frightened me. I just wanted to keep kissing you, holding you…I…I never wanted to let you go."
"But you did."
"I thought I was doing the right thing. I did not want to condemn you to a life with such a monster as myself," Remus murmured.
Hermione reached up to touch Remus' hair which was almost as long as Severus' now. Sandy brown with many strands of grey. Very soft to the touch.
"I was so hurt when you left," Hermione ventured. "And I was so afraid I would never see you again."
Remus nodded in understanding. "But we are here now."
Hermione snuggled closer and smiled. "Yes, we are, aren't we? I suppose it worked out for the greater good although I suspect that Severus will always congratulate himself on making us see the light."
Remus chuckled. "I can live with that."
"As can I."
A moment of silence.
"Remus?"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"I love you. Don't ever forget that."
"I promise you I won't. I love you too."
Telling Voldemort
"Has the werewolf left Hogwarts yet?"
"No, Master. He is being protected at Hogwarts. He will not leave now."
"Damn him. Black is there as well?"
"Yes, Master."
"It will be next to impossible to lure him from there, especially with all the people that will undoubtedly be watching him."
"It was unfortunate that Black managed to make it to Hogwarts to tell them of your brilliant plan."
"It does not matter in the slightest. There is nothing they can do to stop me now."
"Perhaps, the werewolf would come to you if you were to have something dear to him in your possession?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know that the werewolf is in love with the new Charms Professor…a Mudblood by the name of Hermione Granger."
"How interesting. Yes, I am quite familiar with that troublesome witch. She is a close friend of Potter's is she not?"
"Yes, Master. A powerful witch, to be sure, but a worthless Mudblood nonetheless."
"And does she return his affections?"
"Yes. They are inseparable. She is working with Severus on a cure for lycanthropy…trying desperately to protect him from you. Severus, for his part, is not being particularly helpful to her…ever faithful to you he is."
"Severus has earned my trust three times over, despite the whining of both Lucius and Wormtail. How noble of this little Mudblood to think that she can stop me. Perhaps a casual suggestion to her regarding the library at Durmstrang might be in order?"
"There are several excellent texts on werewolves. I could recommend one or two that might be…helpful."
"Yes, and perhaps you might want to pay her a…visit while she is there…tell her that I would like to meet her and invite her to join you. Then you can tell that Mudblood-loving werewolf that if he ever wants to see his precious little mate again, he had best come to me directly. If he complies, I will not kill her."
"Yes, Master."
"Now go. You must return to Hogwarts or else you run the risk of rousing suspicion."
"I am yours to command, Master."
"Go!"
PS: The inspiration for the subtitles comes from the movie "A Room With A View" which I absolutely adore.
PS2: Who is the traitor? Any guesses?