Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to the goddess, JKR. Dedicated to Tessie whose story "The Virus" was the first Remus/Hermione story I ever read and which made me love this couple. Also dedicated to Amy whose quality of writing always pushes me to do better. Love you both, ladies!
Chapter 11: By The Light of the Silvery Moon
Severus was getting desperate and this worried Hermione. Their various efforts to find a cure for Remus were leading nowhere. And Severus had discovered early on that there was an unexpected wrinkle in their plans.
*****Several days earlier*****
"There is a spy in Hogwarts, Hermione," Severus whispered to her one night as they sat in his laboratory, working on an idea that Remus had thought of…something regarding the fabled mutagenic properties of midnight lotus blossom roots.
Hermione's eyes widened in shock but said nothing, eyes already darting around the laboratory as if the traitor was already there…waiting for them.
"I do not know who it is… I have a few suspicions but nothing definitive," he whispered again…slicing the lotus blossom roots carefully.
Hermione gathered the sliced roots and threw them into an infusion of midnight orchid petals to steep overnight. She had wondered about Severus' strange behaviour lately but had not made that particular connection.
"How do you know? Have you spoken to the Headmaster?" Hermione did not know why she was whispering but knew better than to question Severus on this. If he was worried, she was too.
"He is puzzled by all this but the Ministry cleared all the professors…rather intense questioning and all that sort of thing. It would be very difficult to get by all that," he whispered back as he stirred the roots slightly to ensure they were moistened on all sides.
Hermione caught the tone of his voice. "Very difficult but not impossible?"
Severus nodded gravely and Hermione frowned. Who could possibly betray them?
*****Back to present*****
At that moment, Remus walked in with a basket of silver birch bark. He looked worried as well.
"I…I have to be going soon," he murmured, rather unhappily as he placed the basket on the table and looked at them.
For a moment, Hermione was confused until Severus nudged her elbow and gestured towards the lunar calendar meaningfully. She mentally slapped herself for being thoughtless and assumed a much happier expression.
"We're done for now…nothing to do until this gillyweed has completely fermented. Severus, you wouldn't mind if I left you to clean up?" Hermione smiled cheekily at him.
He smirked. "Of course not. Why should I mind? I look forward to an evening of cleaning cauldrons with bated breath."
"Well then…I shall leave you to your fun. Good night," she grinned at his scowl and, taking Remus' arm, sauntered out with a smile that did not hint at the dread in her heart.
Once they were in the corridor, Remus stopped and turned to her.
"You have to leave me, Hermione," he said, his face pale and his eyes troubled.
"Why? You have taken your potion and are not a danger to me."
Remus shook his head. Hermione, without thinking, reached up to him and kissed him lightly on the lips.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of and I cannot let you be by yourself tonight of all nights. This is a part of the person you are…a part I accept and wish to be a part of. You promised you would not shut me out of your life…I expect you to keep that promise," she whispered, caressing his hair lovingly.
His gaze pierced her…almost as if it were looking at her soul.
"We'll just sit by the lake…no one will trouble us there," she suggested. "We'll watch the sunrise together."
He still looked hesitant but nodded in agreement.
They walked together in the dusky twilight, Hermione deliberately speaking of more pleasant things such as the successes of her students or the fact that the house elves had mistakenly tinted several of Severus' robes in a garish hue of magenta…obviously intended for Sybill. Remus smiled but did not say a great deal and this made Hermione feel rather awkward.
Stopping suddenly, she turned to him and embraced him fiercely.
"Nothing will change after tonight," she whispered in his ear. His arms tightened around her spasmodically but he did not say a word.
The dark gray of the evening shifted to the darker shades of night and, before long, the first signs of the moon appeared in the sky. Remus let go of her abruptly and stared at the moon as it began to rise in the night sky.
"A thing of beauty…" his voice was changing, growing deeper with a ragged edge to it that was hardly human. "A curse…forever."
Hermione watched with sympathy and compassion as he transformed before her eyes. His muscles rippled and ripped through his robes. Hair was sprouting through his skin…limbs elongating…face changing from the man she loved to the monster he hated. She was paralyzed with terror, amazement and sheer sorrow. He fell to the ground as the transformation progressed to the point where standing upright was no longer possible. It was clear he was in agony...the pain showing on his face and especially in his eyes…which were the only things that did not change.
Finally unable to bear any more, the werewolf raised his head and howled mournfully as the last stages of the change coursed through his body. Finally, the muscles stilled and the werewolf collapsed, momentarily spent from having tried to contain the pain it was feeling.
Nervous, Hermione walked over to the tired creature and knelt cautiously by its side. She reached out a hand to touch it and then hesitated…the rational part of her head momentarily superceded by a sense of blind panic that was instinctual…a feeling deep in her belly that she should flee…run…get away. It was an overwhelming feeling that left her slightly dizzy.
She looked at the tired creature and took a deep breath, trying to relax…trying to remember that this was Remus and he would be able to sense her fear and perhaps run away from her. She tried to concentrate on the essay she had written in third year...details…focus on the details…forget the fear. Knowledge of a thing gave you a sort of power over it. A werewolf was a powerful and dangerous creature, able to rip out a person's heart with a single blow. Ferocious carnivores, werewolves had the unfortunate reputation of preferring to prey on human beings. No one ever wanted to get this close to a werewolf, fearful of being attacked. They were not rated as singularly dangerous by the Ministry of Magic without good reason.
"That isn't true any longer," she thought to herself, thinking of the Wolfsbane Potion. "Not true at all…but old habits and old beliefs die hard."
Lovingly, she caressed the silvery hair on the beast's head, hoping to convey reassurance and affection. It opened its eyes and looked up at her. Even in this form, she could recognize the expression of shame in his eyes. "You have shown such strength in bearing this affliction, Remus. I don't think people realize just how strong you really are. I don't think you realize it yourself," she spoke in what she hoped was a strong voice.
He licked her hand gently and made a whining sort of noise.
"Let's walk over to the lake and just sit and watch the rippling waters together," she suggested and the werewolf immediately jumped up and waited for her to stand. Getting up, Hermione smiled as she began to walk to the lake, the werewolf bounding ahead of her. There was an easy grace to the beast that was reminiscent of its human counterpart. Remus could never be accused of clumsiness…he had an innate sense of himself and his surroundings.
The lake was shimmering in the light of the full moon and Hermione was dazzled by the myriad reflections in the water. It was like a sea of diamonds that sparkled and danced merrily.
"How beautiful," she sighed as she sat down on a grassy knoll, overhanging the northern shore of the lake. The werewolf sat next to her and, hesitating slightly, laid its head in her lap. She ran her hands through the rough hair again and again…relaxing herself at the feel of being so close to something this powerful and potentially dangerous.
"I am in no danger," she thought to herself and continued to caress Remus in just the way she would were he in his human form.
The silence was beautiful. There was no need for her to speak as she watched the tentacles of the squid surface every so often in search of bats or other such delicacies. She felt so alive…as if she were living and breathing for the first time.
"I know that you feel somehow diminished…somehow less of a man because of…all this, Remus," she started speaking. "But you have had so much difficulty to bear in your life and you have shown such strength. Really, I admire you. After everything…you have survived and you continue to fight. I sometimes wish I had your strength."
The werewolf licked her hand and nuzzled against her in a friendly fashion.
"It's true. I get so frightened sometimes. I feel that the battle is already lost and that we are only prolonging the inevitable. I am so afraid of losing my friends…of losing the ones I truly care about. I even worry about losing Severus…but don't ever tell him I said that."
The werewolf snorted somewhat and Hermione smiled.
"You have to admit it, Remus. Life at Hogwarts would be rather dull and uninspiring if it were populated with only replicas of Sybill Trelawney. Severus, for all his lack of obvious charm, adds a definite tang to life here. Sirius is the same. He is a lovable rogue who has the same strength that you do. It amazes me that someone who spent so many years in the most hellish place imaginable can still tell the worst jokes in the wizarding world."
The werewolf that was Remus snorted again.
"You know it is true, Remus. His jokes are terrible and often in poor taste. Although, I have to admit…they are funny when you think about it. Ah, my tastes have been so corrupted by the two of you," she laughed.
Another stretch of comfortable silence. Hermione felt her eyes beginning to close as the werewolf rested in her lap. Initially, it had frightened her…after all, a werewolf's teeth were fierce weapons and could snap off her hand with a single bite. But, she had fought down her fear and forced herself to relax, silently blessing the person responsible for the Wolfsbane Potion. Now, if only a more permanent remedy would present itself.
Wait! She suddenly snapped to complete alertness, causing the werewolf to look at her curiously. She had completely forgotten about the conversation that had taken place after dinner when she had raced to her rooms to retrieve a cloak and a few other items for the evening.
**********Flashback**************
"Miss Granger, where are you running off too in such haste? You are hardly setting an appropriate example for our students."
Hermione turned to face Madam Pince, the librarian. A traditionalist in many ways, she had yet to call Hermione anything but 'Miss Granger'.
"Bothersome old bat," Hermione thought ungratefully. It would not be much longer before the rising of the moon.
"I am just getting my cloak, Madam Pince. It promises to be a chilly evening and I don't want to bother Poppy with another cold," Hermione explained.
"I have been speaking to Poppy and she has mentioned that you have been trying various medications in the hope of curing poor Remus' unfortunate affliction," the school librarian spoke in a thin tone.
Hermione's eyes flashed with suppressed anger. Madam Pince had been most outraged with the return of 'poor Remus' and had gone out of her way to be a most vexing woman.
"Yes, it is unfortunate," Hermione replied evenly.
"While I do not agree that such beasts should be allowed within the confines of Hogwarts," the older woman sniffed disapprovingly, "I believe that there may be a source of information you might find helpful. That is, if you are serious in your search for a cure and are not simply paying lip service for the sake of preventing another suicide attempt."
"I am not paying lip service," Hermione enunciated each word with sharp precision and glared at this infuriating woman. How dare she?
"Well, my dear. It is surprising that a young witch of your supposed intelligence has overlooked the vast stores of information in the library of Durmstrang. There are many volumes dedicated to the study of lycanthropy that are not available here. Not for a lack of trying on my part, mind you. I have always believed that students should know the worst of things as well as the best of things. However, the Headmaster believes otherwise. Most unfortunate really," she sniffed again as if to say the Headmaster was not in his right senses.
Keeping down the rising anger, Hermione focused on the one bit of helpful information.
"Durmstrang? Are you certain?" She asked.
"Of course, my dear. Books are my life…my raison d'etre if you will. This small library, while good enough in its own way, is hardly what I envisioned when I was hired into this position. Still, one can dream of a more expansive collection…volumes rich with forbidden knowledge for as far as the eye can see," Madame Pince sighed.
"But if the knowledge is forbidden, why have it in so public a place where the students might accidentally find it?"
"My dear…knowledge of a thing is quite a different matter than actual use of a thing. And, in this day and age, it would be prudent to know what you are up against and not delude yourself into thinking that a simple 'Petrificus Totalis' spell will be enough to protect you from the Dark Lord."
Hermione felt that she had heard enough. "Thank you for the information, Madam Pince…I will certainly consider it."
And she raced to her rooms without giving the older witch the chance to reply.
********End of Flashback**********
"Durmstrang!" She said suddenly, causing the werewolf to look up at her suddenly in confusion.
"I have to go to Durmstrang…Madam Pince said that there are many books on lycanthropy there…maybe I can find a key to a potential cure there."
The werewolf got up and growled at her.
"No, Remus. You cannot come with me…it is far too dangerous for you to leave the security of Hogwarts."
The werewolf howled softly.
"No, I am not going to go by myself. I would not want you to worry and besides, I will need help in researching the books. I can't ask Sirius to come with me because he is working with the Headmaster on the wards but perhaps…yes, perhaps…Severus might like to accompany me."
The werewolf that was Remus seemed satisfied with that answer and settled himself again on her lap.
"Yes, Severus would welcome the opportunity to put some distance between himself and Sirius," she chuckled at the thought as she resumed her caresses.
The night grew darker and Hermione found herself dozing and waking for much of it. She still felt very comfortable and warm and stretched luxuriously as the sky finally began to lighten, her eyes still heavy with sleep. She felt a shifting in her lap.
"I love you, Remus," she breathed quietly as she fell asleep again.
As the sun began to rise, Remus transformed back into his human self. For a moment, he contented himself with simply watching her…her face beautiful even in sleep.
"And I love you, Hermione," he murmured.
Conscious of his lack of clothing, he quickly took out the spare robes Hermione had brought with her and got dressed. Lying down next to her and gathering her into his arms, he spread her cloak to cover them both and fell asleep, his last wakeful thought being of how lucky he was.
And he fell asleep with a smile on his face.
*********Later that morning**************
"You cannot be serious, Hermione!" Severus shouted.
"If there is a chance at discovering something that could save him from this awful curse, I am willing to take the risk, Severus!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs at the dark figure glaring down at her.
"It is too dangerous by half, Hermione. Even I cannot guarantee that I can protect you…I'm surprised that Remus agreed to it."
"I can't say that I gave him any choice in the matter," Hermione remarked ruefully, sitting down on a nearby stool and fingering her wand nervously.
"Hermione," Severus walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I understand that you want to help Remus. I truly do and I will do anything to help you…I owe Remus my life. But…this is Durmstrang. It is well known to be a haven for Dark Magic and those who are not afraid to practice it. They will not take lightly to having a muggleborn such as yourself in their midst."
"What about Polyjuice Potion? I could be Minerva or someone else," Hermione suggested.
"The protective wards in place at Durmstrang would not allow that sort of subterfuge…well, unless one were a Death Eater," Severus mused for a moment.
"I have to go. You know I do, Severus. If something were to happen to Remus…I…I don't know what I'd do. I almost lost him once…I am not about to lose him again to Voldemort."
Severus sighed, removing his hand from her shoulder and reaching up to move a stray strand of her hair back behind her ear. She pleaded with him wordlessly to help her save the man she loved.
"I know, Hermione," he sighed, "I know. I will come with you and help you in any way that I can. Merlin help me but you will be the death of me yet."
"Not if I can help it," she smiled. "Thank you, Severus."
A quiet grunt was all the answer she got in return but she smiled all the same.