Alec moved quickly, not quite running, but moving really fast. He needed to
get away, to think. And he also needed to stop thinking. He broke into a
run, trying to outrace his thoughts.
"Cindy" Max shoved the door to her apartment open, and called out to her friend. OC looked up from the couch. So did Sketchy. Damn, Max sighed. She did not need this right now.
"Hey, Boo. Find him?"
"Uhh, yeah." Max collapsed onto a chair, and looked over at them. Both sat on the edge of the couch, watching her.
"So?" Sketch asked. "He okay?"
"Listen, Sketch, don't take this the wrong way, but go away, okay?" Max told him quietly. Sketchy looked over at her, then at OC, hoping for an explanation. "Girl talk" Cindy told him simply.
Sketchy stood quickly. "Okay, Later" he let himself out, and was halfway down the corridor before it hit him. Girl Talk? She'd been with Alec. Girl talk about what? Surely her and Alec hadn't. he started to smile.
"So, spill. What's goin' on in that head, boo?" Max sighed. "Alec?" OC prompted. "Is your boy okay?"
"He's not my boy!" Max blurted out loudly, then looked down, and shook her head. "Sorry" she told her friend. "It's just, well, we kissed."
"You did what?" OC leant towards her, her eyes wide. "You kissed Alec? Our Alec? Seriously?"
Max sighed. "It wasn't like that"
"Max, I love you, but if you use that phrase one more time, I swear I'm going to slap you"
"We were talking" Max explained slowly. "Alec was telling me something, he was really upset, then, we were in each others arms, kissing."
"And how was it?"
Max laughed, then stared at her friend.
"Oh, what OC meant to say was, What was Alec upset about?"
"it's kind of hard to explain." Max sighed. "I'm tired. Can we talk about this in the morning?"
"Yah. But we will be talking about it, count on that." OC told her, watching her friend closely. Max looked rattled, confused. This was one story that OC would look forward to hearing. Max stood and walked towards the bedroom.
"Hey, boo?" Max turned back.
"You never did answer the question. How was it?"
Max smiled slightly. "I don't know. intense."
Alec pulled his jacket closer around him, took a deep breath and entered Jam Pony. A co-worker he knew slightly nodded to him as he came in, and Alec forced his usual smile onto his face. Just act like everything's alright, he told himself. Nothing happened, you and Max didn't kiss, therefore you don't have to try to figure out what it meant. Max didn't kiss him. Why then could he still feel her lips against his? The way that her fingers ran through his hair, over his neck. STOP IT! He forced himself to think of something else. Mission. The sign on the wall in his barracks. Right above his bed. he had always thought that it had made him special, having the sign above his bed and not someone else's. The sign seemed to apply to him more than anyone else. Mission.
"Hey!" Alec felt something touch his shoulder, and he spun in that direction. Normal took a step back. "Sorry, man. My mind was somewhere else." Alec spoke quickly, trying to focus. "What did you say?"
"is everything okay, Alec?" Normal asked, looking concerned for once in his life. "What do you mean?" Alec spoke defensively.
"Twice this week you've left work early. And don't pretend you were with Max the first time. I don't believe you and her would hook up. She's nothing but trouble, and you know that. So, what's going on?"
Alec stared back at his boss, trying to figure out what to say. His eyes flicked across the room, to where OC sat talking to Sketchy. She caught his eye, and he pleaded soundlessly for help. Cindy nodded, standing quickly.
"Alec, honey, we need to talk. Excuse us, Normal." She grabbed Alec by the arm, and pulled him towards the lockers.
"Thanks" Alec muttered, running a hand through his hair. "That was one conversation I didn't want to have."
Cindy shrugged, retaking her seat, and gesturing towards another one. Alec sat, nodding to Sketch.
"Hey, buddy" Sketch greeted.
"So, Alec. Spill" OC told him, watching him closely.
"About what?" Alec tried to keep his tone light. He failed. Sketchy leant forward slightly, picking up on the fact that something was going to happen.
"You and Max. what happened?"
Mission. Alec thought. Focus on something else. He looked around the room, playing for time until he figured out what he could say. It would be so easy just to get up and walk away, say nothing, but he owed Cindy. She had covered for him. so, he had to give her an answer. But what?
Max walked into the room, and he froze, staring at her. she had ran her hand down his cheek, moving in closer to him Alec stood quickly. "Uh, I'm not feeling too great. Be right back" he turned towards the back door, leaving quickly before Max could join them.
"What was that about?" Sketchy asked, watching Max as she came over to them. "Hey, Max." he greeted her.
"Hey" Max said vaguely. "where'd Alec go?"
"Outside" OC replied. "Said he wasn't feeling too hot."
Max looked in the direction of the door Alec had left from, then back to OC, then back to the door.
"Go check on him" OC told her, watching in amusement. The two of them were complete idiots. Neither of them wanting to admit that something had happened between them. It was entertaining, in a heterosexual kind of way.
Alec leant against the alley wall, breathing deeply. He had to gain control. He couldn't keep doing this. he had to be in control. It was the only way to prevent the shakes from coming back. He slid down the wall to sit on the ground, and forced himself to concentrate. Mission, he thought. Duty, Discipline. Focus. He remembered being young, staring at the sign, praying that he would be good enough, strong enough, so that they would not take him away to the hospital wing. He could almost see the sign in front of him, and when he closed his eyes, he could smell the antiseptic smell that he would always associate with his barracks at Manticore. As he thought about it, the sign grew more and more clear in his mind, as if he could reach out and touch it. Complete the mission, he thought to himself. Identify the target, ascertain the most appropriate method to achieve it, carry out the plan. Complete the mission.
He felt a sense of calm sweep over him.
"Cindy" Max shoved the door to her apartment open, and called out to her friend. OC looked up from the couch. So did Sketchy. Damn, Max sighed. She did not need this right now.
"Hey, Boo. Find him?"
"Uhh, yeah." Max collapsed onto a chair, and looked over at them. Both sat on the edge of the couch, watching her.
"So?" Sketch asked. "He okay?"
"Listen, Sketch, don't take this the wrong way, but go away, okay?" Max told him quietly. Sketchy looked over at her, then at OC, hoping for an explanation. "Girl talk" Cindy told him simply.
Sketchy stood quickly. "Okay, Later" he let himself out, and was halfway down the corridor before it hit him. Girl Talk? She'd been with Alec. Girl talk about what? Surely her and Alec hadn't. he started to smile.
"So, spill. What's goin' on in that head, boo?" Max sighed. "Alec?" OC prompted. "Is your boy okay?"
"He's not my boy!" Max blurted out loudly, then looked down, and shook her head. "Sorry" she told her friend. "It's just, well, we kissed."
"You did what?" OC leant towards her, her eyes wide. "You kissed Alec? Our Alec? Seriously?"
Max sighed. "It wasn't like that"
"Max, I love you, but if you use that phrase one more time, I swear I'm going to slap you"
"We were talking" Max explained slowly. "Alec was telling me something, he was really upset, then, we were in each others arms, kissing."
"And how was it?"
Max laughed, then stared at her friend.
"Oh, what OC meant to say was, What was Alec upset about?"
"it's kind of hard to explain." Max sighed. "I'm tired. Can we talk about this in the morning?"
"Yah. But we will be talking about it, count on that." OC told her, watching her friend closely. Max looked rattled, confused. This was one story that OC would look forward to hearing. Max stood and walked towards the bedroom.
"Hey, boo?" Max turned back.
"You never did answer the question. How was it?"
Max smiled slightly. "I don't know. intense."
Alec pulled his jacket closer around him, took a deep breath and entered Jam Pony. A co-worker he knew slightly nodded to him as he came in, and Alec forced his usual smile onto his face. Just act like everything's alright, he told himself. Nothing happened, you and Max didn't kiss, therefore you don't have to try to figure out what it meant. Max didn't kiss him. Why then could he still feel her lips against his? The way that her fingers ran through his hair, over his neck. STOP IT! He forced himself to think of something else. Mission. The sign on the wall in his barracks. Right above his bed. he had always thought that it had made him special, having the sign above his bed and not someone else's. The sign seemed to apply to him more than anyone else. Mission.
"Hey!" Alec felt something touch his shoulder, and he spun in that direction. Normal took a step back. "Sorry, man. My mind was somewhere else." Alec spoke quickly, trying to focus. "What did you say?"
"is everything okay, Alec?" Normal asked, looking concerned for once in his life. "What do you mean?" Alec spoke defensively.
"Twice this week you've left work early. And don't pretend you were with Max the first time. I don't believe you and her would hook up. She's nothing but trouble, and you know that. So, what's going on?"
Alec stared back at his boss, trying to figure out what to say. His eyes flicked across the room, to where OC sat talking to Sketchy. She caught his eye, and he pleaded soundlessly for help. Cindy nodded, standing quickly.
"Alec, honey, we need to talk. Excuse us, Normal." She grabbed Alec by the arm, and pulled him towards the lockers.
"Thanks" Alec muttered, running a hand through his hair. "That was one conversation I didn't want to have."
Cindy shrugged, retaking her seat, and gesturing towards another one. Alec sat, nodding to Sketch.
"Hey, buddy" Sketch greeted.
"So, Alec. Spill" OC told him, watching him closely.
"About what?" Alec tried to keep his tone light. He failed. Sketchy leant forward slightly, picking up on the fact that something was going to happen.
"You and Max. what happened?"
Mission. Alec thought. Focus on something else. He looked around the room, playing for time until he figured out what he could say. It would be so easy just to get up and walk away, say nothing, but he owed Cindy. She had covered for him. so, he had to give her an answer. But what?
Max walked into the room, and he froze, staring at her. she had ran her hand down his cheek, moving in closer to him Alec stood quickly. "Uh, I'm not feeling too great. Be right back" he turned towards the back door, leaving quickly before Max could join them.
"What was that about?" Sketchy asked, watching Max as she came over to them. "Hey, Max." he greeted her.
"Hey" Max said vaguely. "where'd Alec go?"
"Outside" OC replied. "Said he wasn't feeling too hot."
Max looked in the direction of the door Alec had left from, then back to OC, then back to the door.
"Go check on him" OC told her, watching in amusement. The two of them were complete idiots. Neither of them wanting to admit that something had happened between them. It was entertaining, in a heterosexual kind of way.
Alec leant against the alley wall, breathing deeply. He had to gain control. He couldn't keep doing this. he had to be in control. It was the only way to prevent the shakes from coming back. He slid down the wall to sit on the ground, and forced himself to concentrate. Mission, he thought. Duty, Discipline. Focus. He remembered being young, staring at the sign, praying that he would be good enough, strong enough, so that they would not take him away to the hospital wing. He could almost see the sign in front of him, and when he closed his eyes, he could smell the antiseptic smell that he would always associate with his barracks at Manticore. As he thought about it, the sign grew more and more clear in his mind, as if he could reach out and touch it. Complete the mission, he thought to himself. Identify the target, ascertain the most appropriate method to achieve it, carry out the plan. Complete the mission.
He felt a sense of calm sweep over him.