Part 7---The Sea of Love
The tension between is us so intense, all I can think about is becoming one with him, spiritually and physically. My heart is beating so fast, it won't be long before it beats itself right out of my body. I know he's feeling it too. The pace of his breathing is beginning to pick up. And so is his heart. I can feel it his pulse racing under my hand as it gently rests on his neck. This is what I always hoped would happen between the man I'm destined to spend my life with and myself.
We're not exactly in the best locations to make love. We've got the room right, just the wrong apartment. What I wouldn't give for us to be across town at the Montana. It's private and empty. Whereas Dr. Crane's apartment is embarrassingly open and very crowded. We would be taking a great risk if we were to share ourselves in the most traditional of places, my bed. We were lucky enough to have another room, albeit small, with a door and a lock. And he knew it too. His eyes followed mine to the bathroom, our temporary haven.
"A bubble bath," he whispered in my ear.
I smiled. We are of one mind. "Now is that how you want to make love for the first time? In a porcelain bathtub?"
"Do you not want to," he asked, "I'd understand."
"No, I want us to make love. I want you to hold me," I said standing up and taking his hand. "It's all I've been able to think about since Christmas."
"What," he said, his eyes widening.
"When I found out the truth," I said.
"You mean you knew," he asked, "who told you?"
"Everyone," I whispered. "And it's okay, I don't care. Deep down in my heart I always knew."
"I was hoping you did," he said as we walked into my bathroom.
"Fear and insecurity," I said closing the door behind us and locking it giving us one more roadblock from the rest of the outside world.
"I was hoping that's what it was too," he said taking me into his arms. It felt so wonderful to be there. I don't know how I ever survived without being there. It's funny, this is the first time that he's held me like this and it was enough for me to know that these were the only arms I ever wanted to hold me. They've held me so many times. I don't know how I could have missed the love that radiates from them.
I turned in his arms to turn on the water. He still held me, "I'm afraid to let you go." He whispered to me while burying his face in my hair, "I'm so afraid that I if let you go."
"Stop," I said turning around in his arms again, "please don't finish that. I'm about to show you why I don't want you to let me go. And I want you to know that if you move your arms for even a second, I'm not going to go anywhere. Niles, I love you. I want us to be together. Okay?"
He looked at me longingly, the fear slowly fading from his eyes. "Okay."
And then I kissed him silly, once again. The next thing I knew we were naked and splashing bubbles all over my bathroom floor. The mess on the floor would suggest some rough waters, but it was gentle movements, toe curling kisses and enough passion to make the building explode. He made me feel things that I never felt before. Things that I never even knew were possible for anyone to feel. I've never felt more beautiful or more alive than I did as we made love for the first time.
Nor have I ever moved this fast with a man. We've never been on an "official" date. And here we are engaged and making love. But it feels so right and I find myself questioning why we had never done this before. We both had spent so much time imagining what it would be like for us, so many nights of wondering and dreaming. And to finally be making love with the man of my dreams, just like he said in the letter, it's a miracle.
When the waves finally came to a halt and our passion inflicted trembling stopped, we stretched out in the tub. Well as best as we could. My bathroom isn't as luxurious as Dr. Crane's, but we managed.
"We'll have be sure to put in an extra large bathtub when we build the house," he said, "but if we're going to live on the ocean, we've got the worlds largest one right out the back door. Our very own sea of love."
"You mean you'd actually make love to me on a beach?"
"Daphne, I'd make love to you anywhere. When I'm with you, everything disappears."
"Really?"
"Anywhere. On the top of the Empire State building, Sears Tower, Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, even the top of this building. As long as you're there, the location doesn't matter."
"I'm going to hold you to that."
He smiled and kissed my hand. It's so amazing that we're here, together. The best part is that it feels so very right. I'm not nervous, scared or even shy. I'm comfortable, happy and at home in his arms. Any doubts I could have ever had are just a distant memory.
"The day I met you, even before you reached out to shake my hand, all I could see was you. A soft light drowned out everything else in the room except you. Heaven had sent me an angel."
Now how exactly do you respond to something like that? Needless to say, I found a way. I just pray to god the water doesn't leak down into the apartment below us. I have no idea how to explain that one to anybody.
After our second session of lovemaking, we refreshed the slowly cooling water and I just snuggling in his arms. We didn't speak; I was completely overwhelmed by the moment. We slowed things down and just felt each other. I shivered as he traced my body with his soft fingertips. At one point, they traveled down my left arm and found my fingers.
"We're going to have to find just the right ring for this finger." He whispered. "I don't want to keep it bare, too long."
I squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. I sighed and said, "Oh Niles. What are we going to do?"
"You mean we can't stay here forever?"
"We can after we take care of everything on the other side of my bedroom door. We're not going to make it out of here without some sort of confrontation."
"We could repel down the side of the building." He said nuzzling my neck.
"We? What's this we business? I could repel down the building, but you? Niles, you'd kill yourself. I want you to live long enough so we can build a house on the beach and buy a big grand piano for our children to play."
"Daphne, I told you, I'd do anything to make you happy and to see you smile," he said.
"Then hold me a little longer," I whispered, "I'm not ready to face what's out there just yet."
"We can stay here as long as you want," he said, "but I must warn you. After so long hot water turns cold and human skin turns pruny." He held up my hand, "See?"
"I love you," I said turning in his arms and burying my head in his neck. And this is the moment where I finally lost it. All of the emotions I had been feeling came pouring out and it was in the arms of the man that I love is where I felt comfortable enough to let the tears fall. "And I'm so sorry it took me so long to see that you were right in front of me. Everyday you walked in and out of that door and I couldn't see past the suit and the tie."
"Daphne, shhh," he said, "It's all right. That's behind us now."
"We could have had so many more years together if I had," I said, "that house would already be built and our children would be running around on the beach."
"That's all going to happen," he said gently, "we're going to build that house and have those kids. And they'll learn how to play the piano and run on the beach. We'll do all of the things we've both dreamed of doing and we'll do them together. I promise. In fact we'll get started right away."
"On the house or the kids," I asked with a sniffle.
"I'd like to say both," he said, "but I want to marry you first and we're going to need a place to put those kids. So for now, let's just worry about having a roof over our heads."
"Niles," I said.
"Yes," he whispered, kissing my ear.
"Can we stay here together for the rest of the night," I asked, "I don't want us to be apart."
"What shall we do then," he asked.
"We could talk," I said shivering slightly as the water grew cooler, "we could tell each other our dreams, fantasies and everything. Or we could lie in each other's arms and just hold one another. Or."
"Or.," he asked.
"We could do both and then make love again, and again and again," I said kissing him.
"You don't want to deal with the aftermath of this do you," he asked. He's right. I'm terrified.
"I can't hide anything from you, can I," I said.
"I wouldn't say that exactly. Daphne, I know you. Part of falling in love with you is learning all of the little things that make you who you are. I listened, even if you didn't realize it, I listened. With my heart, my soul, my mind, my ears and unlike everyone else, it stayed with me. It's still with me, it always will be. I've always thought, no one is going to know you as well I do and no one is going to know me as well as you know me. But that is my choice. It's my choice to share all that I have with you, I don't want to share it with anyone else."
"What would you have done if I had never come along," I asked and immediately regretting it for I did not want to think about that.
"I don't know," he said truthfully, "all I know is that for the longest time, you weren't a part of my life and then one day you were. I haven't looked back."
"I guess I have a small confession to make then," I said. "The day I met you, I.well I couldn't get to sleep that night. Something about you really bothered me."
"What," he said sitting up a little straighter.
"Hear me out," I said, "I couldn't figure out what it was. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It was just something. But it bothered me enough to the point where you were constantly on my mind. There was just something about you. I didn't know what it was then, but I know what it is now."
"What is it," he asked.
"It was and is love," I said, "it was love at first sight, I just didn't know it because I wasn't looking for it. My comfort level with you has always left me wondering. I couldn't figure out why I always felt so safe and comfortable with you more so than your brother and even your father. And he used to be a policeman."
"Was the answer to that love as well," he said.
"The answer to ever question where you are concerned is love. I just needed to be smacked in the head with it," I said, "I needed that little push. I've been teetering on the edge for years and that beautiful letter knocked me over it. When I read the letter for the first time I was speechless. I ran out of the apartment just so I could read it again."
"How about I tell you? Face to face."
"I'd love that. But let's get out of this ice water before you do."
"I told you." I love that he knows just what to say to make me laugh.
He wrapped me in a towel and dried himself off. Through tears of joy, I watched him, and validations of my thoughts of how gorgeous he is filled my soul. He's a beautiful man with a beautiful heart. I could see the glow on his face and it hit me that I put that glow on his face. He looks so happy and I'm the one that made him so.
Being the neat freak he is, he began to tidy up the mess we made in the bathroom. I used this opportunity to grab the comforter off of my bed and the pillows. I made a little love nest on the floor. There is absolutely no way this would have worked in the bathroom. Our temporary haven became no more as there was enough water on the floor to race remote control boats. And the lack of space proved to be a problem as we are both rather tall. Stretching out on the cold, wet floor would be incredibly uncomfortable.
My bed now served as a bit of a barrier. I couldn't wait to curl up with him under the blankets and just be. He was taking a bit longer in the bathroom than I wanted. We are definitely going to have to work on that.
"Leave it," I said pulling him out of the very damp room. "Come lie down with me."
And we did. For the rest of the night we stayed cuddled together on the floor. Our lovemaking reached new heights as each time was better than the one before. I didn't want the night to end and I didn't want to face tomorrow. But I know that Niles will be right by my side no matter what happens.
The tension between is us so intense, all I can think about is becoming one with him, spiritually and physically. My heart is beating so fast, it won't be long before it beats itself right out of my body. I know he's feeling it too. The pace of his breathing is beginning to pick up. And so is his heart. I can feel it his pulse racing under my hand as it gently rests on his neck. This is what I always hoped would happen between the man I'm destined to spend my life with and myself.
We're not exactly in the best locations to make love. We've got the room right, just the wrong apartment. What I wouldn't give for us to be across town at the Montana. It's private and empty. Whereas Dr. Crane's apartment is embarrassingly open and very crowded. We would be taking a great risk if we were to share ourselves in the most traditional of places, my bed. We were lucky enough to have another room, albeit small, with a door and a lock. And he knew it too. His eyes followed mine to the bathroom, our temporary haven.
"A bubble bath," he whispered in my ear.
I smiled. We are of one mind. "Now is that how you want to make love for the first time? In a porcelain bathtub?"
"Do you not want to," he asked, "I'd understand."
"No, I want us to make love. I want you to hold me," I said standing up and taking his hand. "It's all I've been able to think about since Christmas."
"What," he said, his eyes widening.
"When I found out the truth," I said.
"You mean you knew," he asked, "who told you?"
"Everyone," I whispered. "And it's okay, I don't care. Deep down in my heart I always knew."
"I was hoping you did," he said as we walked into my bathroom.
"Fear and insecurity," I said closing the door behind us and locking it giving us one more roadblock from the rest of the outside world.
"I was hoping that's what it was too," he said taking me into his arms. It felt so wonderful to be there. I don't know how I ever survived without being there. It's funny, this is the first time that he's held me like this and it was enough for me to know that these were the only arms I ever wanted to hold me. They've held me so many times. I don't know how I could have missed the love that radiates from them.
I turned in his arms to turn on the water. He still held me, "I'm afraid to let you go." He whispered to me while burying his face in my hair, "I'm so afraid that I if let you go."
"Stop," I said turning around in his arms again, "please don't finish that. I'm about to show you why I don't want you to let me go. And I want you to know that if you move your arms for even a second, I'm not going to go anywhere. Niles, I love you. I want us to be together. Okay?"
He looked at me longingly, the fear slowly fading from his eyes. "Okay."
And then I kissed him silly, once again. The next thing I knew we were naked and splashing bubbles all over my bathroom floor. The mess on the floor would suggest some rough waters, but it was gentle movements, toe curling kisses and enough passion to make the building explode. He made me feel things that I never felt before. Things that I never even knew were possible for anyone to feel. I've never felt more beautiful or more alive than I did as we made love for the first time.
Nor have I ever moved this fast with a man. We've never been on an "official" date. And here we are engaged and making love. But it feels so right and I find myself questioning why we had never done this before. We both had spent so much time imagining what it would be like for us, so many nights of wondering and dreaming. And to finally be making love with the man of my dreams, just like he said in the letter, it's a miracle.
When the waves finally came to a halt and our passion inflicted trembling stopped, we stretched out in the tub. Well as best as we could. My bathroom isn't as luxurious as Dr. Crane's, but we managed.
"We'll have be sure to put in an extra large bathtub when we build the house," he said, "but if we're going to live on the ocean, we've got the worlds largest one right out the back door. Our very own sea of love."
"You mean you'd actually make love to me on a beach?"
"Daphne, I'd make love to you anywhere. When I'm with you, everything disappears."
"Really?"
"Anywhere. On the top of the Empire State building, Sears Tower, Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, even the top of this building. As long as you're there, the location doesn't matter."
"I'm going to hold you to that."
He smiled and kissed my hand. It's so amazing that we're here, together. The best part is that it feels so very right. I'm not nervous, scared or even shy. I'm comfortable, happy and at home in his arms. Any doubts I could have ever had are just a distant memory.
"The day I met you, even before you reached out to shake my hand, all I could see was you. A soft light drowned out everything else in the room except you. Heaven had sent me an angel."
Now how exactly do you respond to something like that? Needless to say, I found a way. I just pray to god the water doesn't leak down into the apartment below us. I have no idea how to explain that one to anybody.
After our second session of lovemaking, we refreshed the slowly cooling water and I just snuggling in his arms. We didn't speak; I was completely overwhelmed by the moment. We slowed things down and just felt each other. I shivered as he traced my body with his soft fingertips. At one point, they traveled down my left arm and found my fingers.
"We're going to have to find just the right ring for this finger." He whispered. "I don't want to keep it bare, too long."
I squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek. I sighed and said, "Oh Niles. What are we going to do?"
"You mean we can't stay here forever?"
"We can after we take care of everything on the other side of my bedroom door. We're not going to make it out of here without some sort of confrontation."
"We could repel down the side of the building." He said nuzzling my neck.
"We? What's this we business? I could repel down the building, but you? Niles, you'd kill yourself. I want you to live long enough so we can build a house on the beach and buy a big grand piano for our children to play."
"Daphne, I told you, I'd do anything to make you happy and to see you smile," he said.
"Then hold me a little longer," I whispered, "I'm not ready to face what's out there just yet."
"We can stay here as long as you want," he said, "but I must warn you. After so long hot water turns cold and human skin turns pruny." He held up my hand, "See?"
"I love you," I said turning in his arms and burying my head in his neck. And this is the moment where I finally lost it. All of the emotions I had been feeling came pouring out and it was in the arms of the man that I love is where I felt comfortable enough to let the tears fall. "And I'm so sorry it took me so long to see that you were right in front of me. Everyday you walked in and out of that door and I couldn't see past the suit and the tie."
"Daphne, shhh," he said, "It's all right. That's behind us now."
"We could have had so many more years together if I had," I said, "that house would already be built and our children would be running around on the beach."
"That's all going to happen," he said gently, "we're going to build that house and have those kids. And they'll learn how to play the piano and run on the beach. We'll do all of the things we've both dreamed of doing and we'll do them together. I promise. In fact we'll get started right away."
"On the house or the kids," I asked with a sniffle.
"I'd like to say both," he said, "but I want to marry you first and we're going to need a place to put those kids. So for now, let's just worry about having a roof over our heads."
"Niles," I said.
"Yes," he whispered, kissing my ear.
"Can we stay here together for the rest of the night," I asked, "I don't want us to be apart."
"What shall we do then," he asked.
"We could talk," I said shivering slightly as the water grew cooler, "we could tell each other our dreams, fantasies and everything. Or we could lie in each other's arms and just hold one another. Or."
"Or.," he asked.
"We could do both and then make love again, and again and again," I said kissing him.
"You don't want to deal with the aftermath of this do you," he asked. He's right. I'm terrified.
"I can't hide anything from you, can I," I said.
"I wouldn't say that exactly. Daphne, I know you. Part of falling in love with you is learning all of the little things that make you who you are. I listened, even if you didn't realize it, I listened. With my heart, my soul, my mind, my ears and unlike everyone else, it stayed with me. It's still with me, it always will be. I've always thought, no one is going to know you as well I do and no one is going to know me as well as you know me. But that is my choice. It's my choice to share all that I have with you, I don't want to share it with anyone else."
"What would you have done if I had never come along," I asked and immediately regretting it for I did not want to think about that.
"I don't know," he said truthfully, "all I know is that for the longest time, you weren't a part of my life and then one day you were. I haven't looked back."
"I guess I have a small confession to make then," I said. "The day I met you, I.well I couldn't get to sleep that night. Something about you really bothered me."
"What," he said sitting up a little straighter.
"Hear me out," I said, "I couldn't figure out what it was. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It was just something. But it bothered me enough to the point where you were constantly on my mind. There was just something about you. I didn't know what it was then, but I know what it is now."
"What is it," he asked.
"It was and is love," I said, "it was love at first sight, I just didn't know it because I wasn't looking for it. My comfort level with you has always left me wondering. I couldn't figure out why I always felt so safe and comfortable with you more so than your brother and even your father. And he used to be a policeman."
"Was the answer to that love as well," he said.
"The answer to ever question where you are concerned is love. I just needed to be smacked in the head with it," I said, "I needed that little push. I've been teetering on the edge for years and that beautiful letter knocked me over it. When I read the letter for the first time I was speechless. I ran out of the apartment just so I could read it again."
"How about I tell you? Face to face."
"I'd love that. But let's get out of this ice water before you do."
"I told you." I love that he knows just what to say to make me laugh.
He wrapped me in a towel and dried himself off. Through tears of joy, I watched him, and validations of my thoughts of how gorgeous he is filled my soul. He's a beautiful man with a beautiful heart. I could see the glow on his face and it hit me that I put that glow on his face. He looks so happy and I'm the one that made him so.
Being the neat freak he is, he began to tidy up the mess we made in the bathroom. I used this opportunity to grab the comforter off of my bed and the pillows. I made a little love nest on the floor. There is absolutely no way this would have worked in the bathroom. Our temporary haven became no more as there was enough water on the floor to race remote control boats. And the lack of space proved to be a problem as we are both rather tall. Stretching out on the cold, wet floor would be incredibly uncomfortable.
My bed now served as a bit of a barrier. I couldn't wait to curl up with him under the blankets and just be. He was taking a bit longer in the bathroom than I wanted. We are definitely going to have to work on that.
"Leave it," I said pulling him out of the very damp room. "Come lie down with me."
And we did. For the rest of the night we stayed cuddled together on the floor. Our lovemaking reached new heights as each time was better than the one before. I didn't want the night to end and I didn't want to face tomorrow. But I know that Niles will be right by my side no matter what happens.