Part 10-Love Is All Around
Donny passed Roz in the doorway and gave her a half smile as he turned to look at me for the last time. She watched him walk outside and then made a beeline towards me.
As soon as he was out of sight, I dropped my head in my hands. I know it's wrong to say this, but I feel as though a complete weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm free to love Niles with everything that I am.
"Daphne," Roz said pulling up a chair and sitting next to me. "What just happened?"
"I just closed a chapter in my life," I said. I may have closed the chapter but I will always remember it as being the one that changed my life.
"You broke up with Donny," she said.
"Yes," I said. Well, I officially broke up with him today. I obviously ended it last night. "No. Actually I did it last night. This was the explanation. I'm glad it's over with. Now I can begin writing the next chapter, with Niles."
Roz smiled at me. It appears to be an envious smile. The beauty of what's happening between Niles and I, is getting to even Roz. She got that out of her system really quickly because that envious smile slowly turned into a devilish one. I just hope she doesn't take any of this to work tomorrow. The last thing I need is Roz Doyle sharing my love life with the rest of Seattle.
"So spill it," she said, "What happened last night? And don't leave out a single detail."
"Well I got a letter in the mail from Niles yesterday," I said, "he told me how much he loved me and how he'd give up everything to make me happy. He said he believes in us and with the way I've been feeling these last few months; I knew I couldn't give up on him. I had to give us a chance."
"The way you've been feeling," she asked, "wait a minute, are you saying that you've had feelings for Niles for a few months?"
Gee, Roz, you don't miss a thing.
"Yes," I said.
"When did this happen?"
"Oh Roz, it's been happening. The funny thing is, I don't know when it started. I can't remember not feeling this way though. It's so much a part of me that I can't figure out when or where it all began."
"You've been falling in love with Niles for months now and you never told me," she asked.
"I didn't tell anyone," I said. "How could I? It took me this long to even tell Niles."
"That must have been rough sitting on this for so long."
"You have no idea. I was coming pretty close to going crazy."
"Sounds like you're in need of a therapist."
"I've got one and he recommends that I spend a great deal of time on the couch with him. We've got a lot of issues to work out, if you know what I mean."
"I should say so. That was some kiss last night," she said, "My god, I thought Donny was going to pass out."
"That might not have been the wisest course of action," I said wincing a bit from her words, "I saw Niles and I just couldn't help myself. I love him so much that it makes me crazy sometimes. It was a moment of pure insanity but damn it, I had to do it and am thrilled that I did."
"Was it my imagination or did you really ask him to marry you," she asked.
"I did," I said smiling to myself. I can still hear him saying yes in my mind.
"What did he say," she asked.
"He said yes," I whispered. The next thing I knew, Roz threw her arms around my neck and practically dragged me out of my chair.
"Oh my god, I knew it," she said, "I knew you two would wind up together. This is so great."
"Well thank you Roz, I think so too," I said, "it's better than great."
"So," she said. I know she's trying to drag more out of me.
"So what," I said pretending to be ignorant as to her notions.
"So? So what happened after you disappeared into your room," she asked.
"I got my answer," I said simply. I want to go into details for her, but at the same time I'll just die if I don't find my way back into Niles' arms sometime soon. That ache is starting to come back.
"And then what," she said pressuring me for details, "and if you don't tell me now, I'll keep grilling you until you do."
"So," I said.
"The longer I interrogate you," she said devilishly, "the longer of a wait it's going to be before you're back in his arms."
"Roz, I'm not about to tell you that I spent most of last night making love with my best friend," I said.
'I knew it," she said, "Oh my god, I knew it. Frasier owes me fifty bucks."
"You bet on whether or not Niles and I would share ourselves last night," I said.
That shocked me, but at the same time it didn't surprise me. Something tells me they've been waging on us for years.
"Of course we did," she said, "was there any doubt?"
"I suppose not," I said.
"You can make it a hundred if you tell me where," she said.
"Roz," I said. "You're treading on thin water now."
'Oh come on Daphne," she said, "We've shared details of our sex lives before. We're women, we're supposed to do that."
"This is different Roz," I said, "for the first time I want to keep that part of a relationship between myself and the man that I love. I want Niles to be the only person to know how he makes me feel when we're intimate. Trust me, when you meet the right person you'll feel the same way."
"I hope you're right," she said.
"Just think positively."
"Daph, I hate bring this back up but Donny didn't look too good when he left," she said.
I know he's going to be upset for quite a while. I still think that sadness will be temporary. Niles, on the other hand, if I were to ignore everything, his sadness would last a lifetime.
"You know Roz, probably the worst thing I've done in the last few months is trying to imagine what it would be like to be with Niles, when I was with Donny. Sometimes I could almost see his face and as much as I wanted to say his name and pull him closer to me, I knew that if it were really Niles, it would feel completely different. It was as if I knew he would be gentle and passionate and he would savor every second. As I began to realize the depths of my love for him, I realized that this love would take me to places I've never been before. Last night, all of those things happened. Heaven exists in the arms of Niles Crane."
"Daphne, I think you must be the luckiest woman I know," Roz said with tears in her eyes, "I guess you have a different wedding to plan now."
"I don't know if I even want to go through the motions like that."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you remember the day we were going over the wedding plans and you asked me why I had chosen blue bridesmaids dresses?"
"Yeah."
"That shade of blue is the color of his eyes," I said, "I never liked the color before but it quickly became my favorite when I moved to Seattle and took the job with Crane's. Donny really hasn't been much help in planning this wedding and I asked Niles what he thought of my plans, you know for a man's perspective. And this was before I knew he loved me. He told me that if I were planning our wedding, he would want what I want because the only thing that mattered to him would be standing next to me, becoming my husband. God, that made me smile then but it makes me cry now because he is going to be my husband."
"So what does that mean?"
"It means that as long as Niles is there and we are becoming husband and wife, I don't need anything else. Our union is what's important, not the dresses, flowers or the cake. What does that really have to do with love anyway? That stuff only lasts for a second. Dresses get torn and fade, flowers die and Eddie would probably eat the cake anyway. True love lasts forever. If you're lucky enough to find it, celebrate that."
"I never knew love could be that wonderful," she said.
"Neither did I. Love is blind Roz, it really truly is. When you find it and I know you will, you have to promise me that you'll take a hold of it with both hands and never let go. Don't let it slip through your fingers. I almost did and had I, I know I would have missed out on the greatest experience of my life. Had I not done what I did yesterday, Niles Crane would have slowly slipped out of my life."
"That would have killed you, wouldn't it," she asked.
"Eventually. I've only recently come to realize how dependent I am on him. I need him. He lets me be me and he loves who I am."
"I'm glad you found what you've been looking for all of your life," she said squeezing my hand.
"I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did to deserve his love. Whatever the answer may be, I'm going to love him forever. I'm going to make him happy. Niles deserves to be happy."
Roz smiled at me and we sat together just a little while longer before she asked what I was still doing here.
"He's waiting." She said.
And on that note, I walked out of Café Nervosa and into a whole new world. A world where dreams really do come true.
Donny passed Roz in the doorway and gave her a half smile as he turned to look at me for the last time. She watched him walk outside and then made a beeline towards me.
As soon as he was out of sight, I dropped my head in my hands. I know it's wrong to say this, but I feel as though a complete weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I'm free to love Niles with everything that I am.
"Daphne," Roz said pulling up a chair and sitting next to me. "What just happened?"
"I just closed a chapter in my life," I said. I may have closed the chapter but I will always remember it as being the one that changed my life.
"You broke up with Donny," she said.
"Yes," I said. Well, I officially broke up with him today. I obviously ended it last night. "No. Actually I did it last night. This was the explanation. I'm glad it's over with. Now I can begin writing the next chapter, with Niles."
Roz smiled at me. It appears to be an envious smile. The beauty of what's happening between Niles and I, is getting to even Roz. She got that out of her system really quickly because that envious smile slowly turned into a devilish one. I just hope she doesn't take any of this to work tomorrow. The last thing I need is Roz Doyle sharing my love life with the rest of Seattle.
"So spill it," she said, "What happened last night? And don't leave out a single detail."
"Well I got a letter in the mail from Niles yesterday," I said, "he told me how much he loved me and how he'd give up everything to make me happy. He said he believes in us and with the way I've been feeling these last few months; I knew I couldn't give up on him. I had to give us a chance."
"The way you've been feeling," she asked, "wait a minute, are you saying that you've had feelings for Niles for a few months?"
Gee, Roz, you don't miss a thing.
"Yes," I said.
"When did this happen?"
"Oh Roz, it's been happening. The funny thing is, I don't know when it started. I can't remember not feeling this way though. It's so much a part of me that I can't figure out when or where it all began."
"You've been falling in love with Niles for months now and you never told me," she asked.
"I didn't tell anyone," I said. "How could I? It took me this long to even tell Niles."
"That must have been rough sitting on this for so long."
"You have no idea. I was coming pretty close to going crazy."
"Sounds like you're in need of a therapist."
"I've got one and he recommends that I spend a great deal of time on the couch with him. We've got a lot of issues to work out, if you know what I mean."
"I should say so. That was some kiss last night," she said, "My god, I thought Donny was going to pass out."
"That might not have been the wisest course of action," I said wincing a bit from her words, "I saw Niles and I just couldn't help myself. I love him so much that it makes me crazy sometimes. It was a moment of pure insanity but damn it, I had to do it and am thrilled that I did."
"Was it my imagination or did you really ask him to marry you," she asked.
"I did," I said smiling to myself. I can still hear him saying yes in my mind.
"What did he say," she asked.
"He said yes," I whispered. The next thing I knew, Roz threw her arms around my neck and practically dragged me out of my chair.
"Oh my god, I knew it," she said, "I knew you two would wind up together. This is so great."
"Well thank you Roz, I think so too," I said, "it's better than great."
"So," she said. I know she's trying to drag more out of me.
"So what," I said pretending to be ignorant as to her notions.
"So? So what happened after you disappeared into your room," she asked.
"I got my answer," I said simply. I want to go into details for her, but at the same time I'll just die if I don't find my way back into Niles' arms sometime soon. That ache is starting to come back.
"And then what," she said pressuring me for details, "and if you don't tell me now, I'll keep grilling you until you do."
"So," I said.
"The longer I interrogate you," she said devilishly, "the longer of a wait it's going to be before you're back in his arms."
"Roz, I'm not about to tell you that I spent most of last night making love with my best friend," I said.
'I knew it," she said, "Oh my god, I knew it. Frasier owes me fifty bucks."
"You bet on whether or not Niles and I would share ourselves last night," I said.
That shocked me, but at the same time it didn't surprise me. Something tells me they've been waging on us for years.
"Of course we did," she said, "was there any doubt?"
"I suppose not," I said.
"You can make it a hundred if you tell me where," she said.
"Roz," I said. "You're treading on thin water now."
'Oh come on Daphne," she said, "We've shared details of our sex lives before. We're women, we're supposed to do that."
"This is different Roz," I said, "for the first time I want to keep that part of a relationship between myself and the man that I love. I want Niles to be the only person to know how he makes me feel when we're intimate. Trust me, when you meet the right person you'll feel the same way."
"I hope you're right," she said.
"Just think positively."
"Daph, I hate bring this back up but Donny didn't look too good when he left," she said.
I know he's going to be upset for quite a while. I still think that sadness will be temporary. Niles, on the other hand, if I were to ignore everything, his sadness would last a lifetime.
"You know Roz, probably the worst thing I've done in the last few months is trying to imagine what it would be like to be with Niles, when I was with Donny. Sometimes I could almost see his face and as much as I wanted to say his name and pull him closer to me, I knew that if it were really Niles, it would feel completely different. It was as if I knew he would be gentle and passionate and he would savor every second. As I began to realize the depths of my love for him, I realized that this love would take me to places I've never been before. Last night, all of those things happened. Heaven exists in the arms of Niles Crane."
"Daphne, I think you must be the luckiest woman I know," Roz said with tears in her eyes, "I guess you have a different wedding to plan now."
"I don't know if I even want to go through the motions like that."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you remember the day we were going over the wedding plans and you asked me why I had chosen blue bridesmaids dresses?"
"Yeah."
"That shade of blue is the color of his eyes," I said, "I never liked the color before but it quickly became my favorite when I moved to Seattle and took the job with Crane's. Donny really hasn't been much help in planning this wedding and I asked Niles what he thought of my plans, you know for a man's perspective. And this was before I knew he loved me. He told me that if I were planning our wedding, he would want what I want because the only thing that mattered to him would be standing next to me, becoming my husband. God, that made me smile then but it makes me cry now because he is going to be my husband."
"So what does that mean?"
"It means that as long as Niles is there and we are becoming husband and wife, I don't need anything else. Our union is what's important, not the dresses, flowers or the cake. What does that really have to do with love anyway? That stuff only lasts for a second. Dresses get torn and fade, flowers die and Eddie would probably eat the cake anyway. True love lasts forever. If you're lucky enough to find it, celebrate that."
"I never knew love could be that wonderful," she said.
"Neither did I. Love is blind Roz, it really truly is. When you find it and I know you will, you have to promise me that you'll take a hold of it with both hands and never let go. Don't let it slip through your fingers. I almost did and had I, I know I would have missed out on the greatest experience of my life. Had I not done what I did yesterday, Niles Crane would have slowly slipped out of my life."
"That would have killed you, wouldn't it," she asked.
"Eventually. I've only recently come to realize how dependent I am on him. I need him. He lets me be me and he loves who I am."
"I'm glad you found what you've been looking for all of your life," she said squeezing my hand.
"I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did to deserve his love. Whatever the answer may be, I'm going to love him forever. I'm going to make him happy. Niles deserves to be happy."
Roz smiled at me and we sat together just a little while longer before she asked what I was still doing here.
"He's waiting." She said.
And on that note, I walked out of Café Nervosa and into a whole new world. A world where dreams really do come true.