TITLE: Tour Guide

AUTHOR: Stef (starfightercommand@hotmail.com)

SUMMARY: Response to Arwen's challenge (no. 8). Write a story involving a museum, a rogue/wraith, yourself, stale coffee at an overpriced cafe and the line, "Excuse me, could you direct me to the nearest 'fresher station?".

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything that George Lucas controls. I own me - I hope.

CHARACTERS: Tycho, Stef

RATING: G - oh, god, no!

WARNING: A tiny hint of innuendo.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, okay, maybe I *should* have done Wedge... but I can't help myself. I swear that my next fanfic will involve Wedge... (well, after the Sarek series).

I made my way through the heavy stream of people who appeared to have taken over the Ancient History Museum for the day. I simply love this place, though, I've never seen it quite so busy. And I knew the reason why. Earth just signed a treaty with the New Republic - and the people who filled the museum were tourists: human and non-human alike. Maybe I should have stayed at home.

I drifted aimlessly through some of my favourite exhibits: dinosaurs and the ancient Egyptian exhibit always draw my attention away from the present. Lost in thought, I didn't notice someone walk up to me until I felt a tap on my shoulder. Pulled back into reality, I turned to see a tall, blond man. Behind him were 3 other men - 1 blond, the other two brunettes and just this side shy of average height. From the style of their clothing I could tell they were more of the New Republic's tourists.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

The blond man, whom I figured to be the one who had tapped my shoulder, hesitated slightly. "Excuse me, could you direct me to the nearest 'fresher station? We're - " he gestured to his friends, "actually a bit lost."

I smiled. I'm still not exactly sure whether it was because of the actually question or because the man in front of me was so damn hot. "Uh, 'fresher - " I knew I had heard the word somewhere before. Then it hit me. "Oh, bathroom."

I received four confused looks. "It's the same as a 'fresher. Come on, I'll show you where."

I led the four of them through the maze of people and exhibits, answering a couple of questions along the way. I learnt their names - Tycho, Wedge, Wes and Hobbie - and that they were pilots for the New Republic. Most of the questions were about the exhibits on show.

When we reached the nearest bathroom, I stopped and said my good-byes. "It was nice to meet all of you. If you get lost again, use this." I handed a piece of paper - the map layout of the museum - to Wedge, who appeared to be the leader of the four.

I started to leave, when I felt another tap on my shoulder. What do I look like, a bloody tour guide? "Yes?" I asked a little more snappish than was necessary. It was the blond from before - Tycho - and I immediately felt guilty. "Sorry."

He grinned and asked, "Is there any place where I can buy you a drink around here?"

I eyed him a little suspiciously. "What about your friends? And I thought you needed to use the bathroom."

"Ah, that. I was roped into asking you for directions, because the others didn't want to ask."

"Oh."

"I'm serious."

"No doubt." I stared at him for a second. Blond hair, blue eyes, tall - damnit, he looked like a poster boy. I sighed. "Come on. There's a cafe on this floor." Why did he have to have such good looks? I always was a sucker for blonds.

When we reached the cafe - notably called The Emperor's Palace - we found a table. I looked at the list of drinks and then at the display of cakes and cookies near the counter. "You see anything you like?" I asked him.

He looked up at me and his eyes belied a wicked laugh. "Plenty."

I looked down and blushed. "I meant on the menu, sir."

"Oh, well, I cant actually read this."

Immediately, I felt stupid. "Sorry, I forgot. What would you like to drink? Maybe we have something similar here."

"Caf, if they have it," Tycho said.

I thought for a moment. "I think that coffee will be the closest to what you call caf. I'll go order it." I started to rise when his hand grabbed my wrist.

"I thought I offered to buy you a drink."

I shrugged. "Chances are you don't have enough Earth money with you. Cafe's like this are always overpriced. I'll pay.You can think of it as a 'welcome to Earth' present."

I returned with a cup of coffee for Tycho, a glass of lemon bitters for myself and 2 slices of apple crumble.

"I highly recommend this slice," I told him, as he eyed his plat suspiciously.

Timidly, he tried it. "It's good," he said.

I nodded and proceeded to drink my lemon bitters. I watched as he took a sip of the coffee and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"It's stale," he said mournfully. "Though, I think you were right. It is the same as caf."

"I can get you another one, if you - "

"Nope, it's okay. It's drinkable." He flashed me another smile.

I swear, I could have melted on the spot - or maybe I did. "Are you sure?"

He nodded and continued to drink the stale coffee. "I'll take my chances." He put the cup down and looked at me. "Can I ask you to play guide for me?"

"If you ask nicely enough," I told him.

He laughed and I joined in his laughter.