Disclaimer: I still don't own SSBM or Nintendo or 1-800-COLLECT.
Warning: This chapter contains some Luigi bashing.
LINK'S VACATION (Chapter 2)
Day 1 of 3
(In Las Vegas, Link and co. have reached the hotel.)
Falco: *Is looking over the Casino area.* Oh yeah baby! Daddy has come to town!
Fox: So I take it, that therapy session didn't help your gambling addiction?
Falco: That's what you think. I can stop any time I want.
Fox: We'll see about that.
Link: *Walks up to the front desk.* I'm the Nintendo "Name your favorite character contest" winner.
Manager: Well good for you.
Link: Well? Aren't you going to give us are rooms?
Manager: Huh? Oh that contest! Sorry I forget about that. And these are your 5 guests?
Falco: No duh genious.
Zelda: *Hits Falco upside the head.* Don't be rude!
Falco: I'm always rude and sarcastic! It's my past time!
Fox: Idiot.
Falco: Moron.
Manager: Alright: Link and Zelda have room 12. Roy and Fox and Farco-
Falco: Falco!
Manager: -have room 11 and Roy and Bowser have room 13. Here are your keys.
Fox: Shouldn't we have separate rooms?
Manager: Sorry. Nintendo only payed for 3 rooms.
Roy: Umm...
Manager: Yes?
Roy: Isn't the number 13 bad?
Manager: Only if your superstitous. Now if you'll all please move, there are other people waiting in line.
Zelda: Hey, where's Bowser?
Link: I think I saw him go into the restaraunt.
(In the restaraunt of the hotel, Bowser is stuffing his face at the all-you-can-eat buffet with all the agression of a mad boar.)
Chef 1: Look at him go! I've never seen some one eat like that!
Chef 2: Look at how he's eating! The unspeakable rudeness!
(Bowser finishes off the buffet at goes over to the pastry area, where a number of pastries can be seen behind a glass casing under the counter. Bowser brakes the glass and starts eating the pastries which are NOT free.)
Chef 1: Not good.
Chef 2: That's it! We've got to do something!
Chef 1: We've? *Looks at Bowser and then back at Chef 2.* Er, I would but I value my health, so I think I'll just stay over here.
Chef 2: Fine then! *Storms over to where Bowser is.* Look you! You'd had better plan on paying for all that or else I'll call security!
Bowser: *Looks at Chef 2 for a moment and then eats him.*
Chef 2: Ahhhhhh!! *Get's swallowed.*
Chef 1: Damn. My second chef got knocked into a coma by some gorilla and now my third chef get's eaten! What a day.
(Roy walks into the restaraunt.)
Roy: *Looks around.* Woah! What happened? *Sees Bowser.* Oh.
Bowser: WAZZZZZZZUP!!
Roy: Gah! Don't do that!
Bowser: Cool.
Roy: ? Whatever.
(Roy sits down at a tabel. Bowser follows. A waitress walks over.)
Waitress: Can I get you two anything?
Bowser: I'll have 30 orders of cheeseburgers, 50 orders of large fries, and a large diet coke.
Roy: A diet coke?
Waitress: And what about you young man? Want to try are kid's special sweetie.
Bowser: *Snickers.*
Roy: Young man? Sweetie? Have you even played Fire Emblem?
Waitress: Is that like monopoly?
Roy: *Grumbles.* I'll have a cheeseburger with a medium pepsi and a medium order of fries.
(Meanwhile in the casino area.)
Falco: *Is playing Blackjack.* GIVE IT TOO ME DAMN IT!! GIVE IT TO ME!!! YES! YES! *Doesn't win.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Back in Smash Bros City...)
Luigi: *Is busy repairing something.*
Mario: *Is sitting in a lawn chair with his SMS tourist gear on and is eating a some potato chips.* This is hard-a work, huh Luigi?
Luigi: *Grits his teeth.* Tell me about it.
Mario: OH NO!
Luigi: What?!
Mario: I'm-a out of potato chips!
Luigi: So-a?
Mario: Could-a you go get some more?
Luigi: But I...
Mario: No buts! Hop-a to it man!
Luigi: *Bitterly.* Fine.
Mario: Oh ****! I can't-a reach my lemonade without getting up! Luigi! Luigi?!
(Meanwhile, at the nearby convenient store.)
Luigi: *Mumbling.* Racka, Frakken...
Gang Member 1: *Sees Luigi.* Yo' dat foo looks like one a dose' Red Dawgz!
Gang Member 2: In ARE territory?!
Gang Member 3: Let's kick his ass!
Luigi: Huh? What the-Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Gang Members: *Knocks Luigi to the ground and starts beating on him.*
Luigi: No! Not in the face! OWWWW!!!
GM1: *Pulls out a flame thrower.* Hell yeah!
Luigi: HELL-A NO-A!!
GM1: *Blasts Luigi with the flame thrower.*
Luigi: *Runs around in circles on fire.* OH GOD IT BURNS!!!
GM2: *Hits Luigi with a baseball bat and sends him flying.*
Luigi: *Soars through the air.* Ahhhhhh!!!
Girl: Hey sweetie, look! It's a shooting star!
Guy: Are you sure? It doesn't look like any shooting star I've ever seen.
(Luigi lands not far away. His landing puts out the fire but leaves him charred black.)
Luigi: Owie...
Different Gang Member 1: *Notices the charred Luigi.* Hey dawgz look! It's a white boy tryin' ta look like a brotha!
Different Gang Member 2: ****!
Different Gang Member 3: Let's kick his ass!
Luigi: NOOOOOO!!!
(In the casino area of the hotel back in Las Vegas.)
Falco: *Is at a slot machine.* COME ON YOU STUPID PIECE OF JUNK! DADDY NEEDS HIS MEDICINE! NO! NOOOOO!! *Doesn't win...again.* DAMN IT! THAT'S IT!!
(Falco kicks the slot machine but since it's metal he hurts his own foot.)
Falco: *Hops around holding his foot.* @$#%! That hurts!
Pit Boss Marco: Excuse me sir but I've had several complaints about you. I'm afraid your going to have to leave the casino.
Falco: *Holds up middle finger.* Screw you!
Marco: Then I'm going to have to force you to leave.
Falco: You'll never take me alive!
(Falco attempts to run but Marco grabs him by his collar and lifts him up.)
Falco: Damn you! Put me down! *Attempts to punch Marco but his arms are to short to do so.*
Marco: *Carries Falco to the exit.* Have a nice night sir...Just not here. *Throws Falco out of the casino area.*
(Meanwhile after Bowser and Roy finished eating Bowser and Link decided to check out the bar before hitting town. But since Bowser is not good at controlling his alchohol intake he got drunk...really drunk.)
Bowser: *Slurring.* Gimme more...
Link: Um, Bowser? Don't you think you've had enough?
Bowser: *Turns to Link.* I'VE HAD ENOUGH WHEN I SAY I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!! NOW SHUT IT OR I'LL RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND BEAT YOU WITH THEM!!!
Link: AHHHHHH!!! *Screams and runs off crying.*
Bowser: *Turns back to the bartender.* Gimme more...
Bartender: Uhhh...
Bowser: I SAID GIMME MORE DAMMIT OR I'LL ROAST YOU AND EAT YOU!!!
Bartender: Yes sir! Right away sir!
Warning: This chapter contains some Luigi bashing.
LINK'S VACATION (Chapter 2)
Day 1 of 3
(In Las Vegas, Link and co. have reached the hotel.)
Falco: *Is looking over the Casino area.* Oh yeah baby! Daddy has come to town!
Fox: So I take it, that therapy session didn't help your gambling addiction?
Falco: That's what you think. I can stop any time I want.
Fox: We'll see about that.
Link: *Walks up to the front desk.* I'm the Nintendo "Name your favorite character contest" winner.
Manager: Well good for you.
Link: Well? Aren't you going to give us are rooms?
Manager: Huh? Oh that contest! Sorry I forget about that. And these are your 5 guests?
Falco: No duh genious.
Zelda: *Hits Falco upside the head.* Don't be rude!
Falco: I'm always rude and sarcastic! It's my past time!
Fox: Idiot.
Falco: Moron.
Manager: Alright: Link and Zelda have room 12. Roy and Fox and Farco-
Falco: Falco!
Manager: -have room 11 and Roy and Bowser have room 13. Here are your keys.
Fox: Shouldn't we have separate rooms?
Manager: Sorry. Nintendo only payed for 3 rooms.
Roy: Umm...
Manager: Yes?
Roy: Isn't the number 13 bad?
Manager: Only if your superstitous. Now if you'll all please move, there are other people waiting in line.
Zelda: Hey, where's Bowser?
Link: I think I saw him go into the restaraunt.
(In the restaraunt of the hotel, Bowser is stuffing his face at the all-you-can-eat buffet with all the agression of a mad boar.)
Chef 1: Look at him go! I've never seen some one eat like that!
Chef 2: Look at how he's eating! The unspeakable rudeness!
(Bowser finishes off the buffet at goes over to the pastry area, where a number of pastries can be seen behind a glass casing under the counter. Bowser brakes the glass and starts eating the pastries which are NOT free.)
Chef 1: Not good.
Chef 2: That's it! We've got to do something!
Chef 1: We've? *Looks at Bowser and then back at Chef 2.* Er, I would but I value my health, so I think I'll just stay over here.
Chef 2: Fine then! *Storms over to where Bowser is.* Look you! You'd had better plan on paying for all that or else I'll call security!
Bowser: *Looks at Chef 2 for a moment and then eats him.*
Chef 2: Ahhhhhh!! *Get's swallowed.*
Chef 1: Damn. My second chef got knocked into a coma by some gorilla and now my third chef get's eaten! What a day.
(Roy walks into the restaraunt.)
Roy: *Looks around.* Woah! What happened? *Sees Bowser.* Oh.
Bowser: WAZZZZZZZUP!!
Roy: Gah! Don't do that!
Bowser: Cool.
Roy: ? Whatever.
(Roy sits down at a tabel. Bowser follows. A waitress walks over.)
Waitress: Can I get you two anything?
Bowser: I'll have 30 orders of cheeseburgers, 50 orders of large fries, and a large diet coke.
Roy: A diet coke?
Waitress: And what about you young man? Want to try are kid's special sweetie.
Bowser: *Snickers.*
Roy: Young man? Sweetie? Have you even played Fire Emblem?
Waitress: Is that like monopoly?
Roy: *Grumbles.* I'll have a cheeseburger with a medium pepsi and a medium order of fries.
(Meanwhile in the casino area.)
Falco: *Is playing Blackjack.* GIVE IT TOO ME DAMN IT!! GIVE IT TO ME!!! YES! YES! *Doesn't win.* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(Back in Smash Bros City...)
Luigi: *Is busy repairing something.*
Mario: *Is sitting in a lawn chair with his SMS tourist gear on and is eating a some potato chips.* This is hard-a work, huh Luigi?
Luigi: *Grits his teeth.* Tell me about it.
Mario: OH NO!
Luigi: What?!
Mario: I'm-a out of potato chips!
Luigi: So-a?
Mario: Could-a you go get some more?
Luigi: But I...
Mario: No buts! Hop-a to it man!
Luigi: *Bitterly.* Fine.
Mario: Oh ****! I can't-a reach my lemonade without getting up! Luigi! Luigi?!
(Meanwhile, at the nearby convenient store.)
Luigi: *Mumbling.* Racka, Frakken...
Gang Member 1: *Sees Luigi.* Yo' dat foo looks like one a dose' Red Dawgz!
Gang Member 2: In ARE territory?!
Gang Member 3: Let's kick his ass!
Luigi: Huh? What the-Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Gang Members: *Knocks Luigi to the ground and starts beating on him.*
Luigi: No! Not in the face! OWWWW!!!
GM1: *Pulls out a flame thrower.* Hell yeah!
Luigi: HELL-A NO-A!!
GM1: *Blasts Luigi with the flame thrower.*
Luigi: *Runs around in circles on fire.* OH GOD IT BURNS!!!
GM2: *Hits Luigi with a baseball bat and sends him flying.*
Luigi: *Soars through the air.* Ahhhhhh!!!
Girl: Hey sweetie, look! It's a shooting star!
Guy: Are you sure? It doesn't look like any shooting star I've ever seen.
(Luigi lands not far away. His landing puts out the fire but leaves him charred black.)
Luigi: Owie...
Different Gang Member 1: *Notices the charred Luigi.* Hey dawgz look! It's a white boy tryin' ta look like a brotha!
Different Gang Member 2: ****!
Different Gang Member 3: Let's kick his ass!
Luigi: NOOOOOO!!!
(In the casino area of the hotel back in Las Vegas.)
Falco: *Is at a slot machine.* COME ON YOU STUPID PIECE OF JUNK! DADDY NEEDS HIS MEDICINE! NO! NOOOOO!! *Doesn't win...again.* DAMN IT! THAT'S IT!!
(Falco kicks the slot machine but since it's metal he hurts his own foot.)
Falco: *Hops around holding his foot.* @$#%! That hurts!
Pit Boss Marco: Excuse me sir but I've had several complaints about you. I'm afraid your going to have to leave the casino.
Falco: *Holds up middle finger.* Screw you!
Marco: Then I'm going to have to force you to leave.
Falco: You'll never take me alive!
(Falco attempts to run but Marco grabs him by his collar and lifts him up.)
Falco: Damn you! Put me down! *Attempts to punch Marco but his arms are to short to do so.*
Marco: *Carries Falco to the exit.* Have a nice night sir...Just not here. *Throws Falco out of the casino area.*
(Meanwhile after Bowser and Roy finished eating Bowser and Link decided to check out the bar before hitting town. But since Bowser is not good at controlling his alchohol intake he got drunk...really drunk.)
Bowser: *Slurring.* Gimme more...
Link: Um, Bowser? Don't you think you've had enough?
Bowser: *Turns to Link.* I'VE HAD ENOUGH WHEN I SAY I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!! NOW SHUT IT OR I'LL RIP OFF YOUR ARMS AND BEAT YOU WITH THEM!!!
Link: AHHHHHH!!! *Screams and runs off crying.*
Bowser: *Turns back to the bartender.* Gimme more...
Bartender: Uhhh...
Bowser: I SAID GIMME MORE DAMMIT OR I'LL ROAST YOU AND EAT YOU!!!
Bartender: Yes sir! Right away sir!