To Love Two Others

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A/N - This might not be updated as often because I'm starting college tomorrow ;_;

This is a very angsty chapter as normal... and as normal, your daily hit of drama ^_^

"Eyes like a sunrise, like a rainfall down my soul…" Will Young - Evergreen

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Afterwards, Tifa lay still in Cloud's arms and felt his breathing slow down and become a gentle rhythm on the back of her neck as he drifted into sleep. She felt like a spilt personality. One side of her was ecstatic; she had finally made love to Cloud; and now her feelings for him were even more founded. Making love to him had been amazing; she had felt a bond between them that seemed to blow them both away. Their chemistry had been astounding. But the other side of her was devastated; she was involved with Keenan, and she did feel a complete loyalty to Keenan. She had been involved with him before Cloud had even come back to Midgar; and their on off relationship had become a strong connection after Meteor. She knew she loved him; but what bothered her was that she loved Cloud more. And she was involved with both now. She knew that either way, she was going to lose someone very important. She had longed for Cloud for so long; now it had finally happened, why was it happening when she was involved with Keenan again? It wasn't fair. She wouldn't have started seeing Keenan again if she had had a clue that this would happen between her and Cloud. She knew Keenan adored her, and that the handsome Wutaian would be distraught if he lost her completely. She really didn't want to hurt him. But... what was between her and Cloud was so special; they were soulmates. She had always felt a special connection with him.

A tear ran down her face. What was she going to do? Her heart was divided; she knew she had to pick either her greatest love who might still not love her (after all, it was only a fling... she couldn't be sure until she saw the love in him herself), or the man who doted on her completely and would do anything for her; who thought she loved him. Tifa decided to think about it tomorrow. For now, she cuddled into Cloud's body next to her, and stroked his strong arms that were encircling her waist. He murmured quietly in his sleep. It was horrible of her, but she didn't feel at all guilty about tonight.

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The birds outside were singing and the sun was bright when Cloud woke up. He let out a groan and stretched, before it really sank in what had happened last night. Tifa… He opened his eyes, and realised that his first instinct was true. She wasn't beside him anymore. He kicked himself mentally. He had just about forced himself on her last night, he thought. It was a bad idea… but he had wanted her so much, he couldn't help it. He knew they were only friends; yet it had been a different person to Tifa's best friend who made love to her last night. Cloud sighed, grabbed his jeans and put them on, then buried his head under the covers. She'd hate him now, for sure.

Tifa walked into the bedroom after her shower warily. She was a bit afraid of what she felt now. She had woken up this morning with Cloud wrapped around her, and she knew straight away who she wanted to be with. But it was going to be so hard to tell the other. She was also a bit worried whether Cloud was not entirely serious last night when he propositioned her; she still couldn't believe that he felt even lust for her. But the desire burning in his eyes had shown he had. Even so, Tifa thought she might have taken it a bit far. After all, she had dreamt of nothing else for at least three years if not more.

She saw Cloud was still in bed; but he was awake, because he had pulled the covers on top of himself from where they had lain on the other side of the bed. Tifa giggled. He wasn't embarrassed, surely? She walked over and, making sure her towel was securely on, pulled the covers off with one quick jerk.

Keenan walked up the stairs, hoping to surprise Tifa. The bar staff had sent him up when he came to see her; apparently she was already up anyway. He had taken the morning off. As he walked across the landing towards Tifa's room, he was surprised to hear voices and laughter. He stopped to listen.

Cloud looked up with a confused look on his face. He had already convinced himself that she wasn't going to be pleased with him after last night. But Tifa stood there laughing, with a happy look on her face. It warmed his heart. "Hey! I was comfy there!" Cloud chuckled, Tifa's laughter being infectious. She leant over and brushed an unruly spike off his forehead where it had drooped and landed. "Now then, man from last night… can I ask why your all embarrassed?"

Cloud frowned, smiling as he did so. "I aint embarrassed…" Tifa crouched down. "Well, why are you hiding then?" Cloud chuckled again. "I'm scared you'll kick my ass about last night… I mean; I did come on quite strong…" He kept eye contact with her, wanting her response.

Tifa nearly squealed in amazement, but managed to hold it in. Cloud was full of surprises. So he thought she hadn't wanted him? "You know I can't resist you when you do your sexy voice…" Seeing his doubtful face, she carried on. "I did want to, Cloud… what's wrong, wasn't I making enough noise to make you realise that?" She giggled again, stroking his cheek as his face relaxed.

Cloud shuddered visibly as she stroked his face then down his neck. Tifa smiled at how she was affecting him, then brushed her lips on Cloud's briefly. He had to tell her how he felt. It would drive him crazy if he didn't. "Teef… I…" He froze as he thought he heard someone sigh, but he heard nothing more. Besides, there was no one else in. Tell her, dumbass…

Tifa lowered herself to Cloud on the bed, the bar work forgotten. Cloud pressed his lips to hers tenderly, then passionately as they kissed deeply. He needed to tell her this now. But Tifa beat him to it. "Cloud… I need to tell you something…" She swallowed, worried of what his reaction might be. He smiled up at her. "You can tell me anything Teef, you know that…we have no secrets; you're gonna carry my child someday…" He laughed faintly, worrying why she didn't laugh with him. "Go on… please tell me…"

Tifa opened her mouth to speak, but stopped when she saw Cloud frown at the door. She heard it open, and her heart dropped.

Keenan didn't speak; he just ran over and pulled Tifa up off Cloud. It was so fast, neither of them realised what he was doing until he had dropped Tifa across the room. Tifa screamed as he dropped her. Cloud was up in an instant, ready to attack if Keenan even laid a finger on Tifa.

Keenan crouched over Tifa and sighed. His black eyes sparkled with fury and harshness, scaring Tifa. His voice was laced with bitterness, such as she had never ever heard before. She cringed as he whispered, then screamed in her ears. "I heard it all… and I don't think you told HIM what you wanted to, so I will. Yesterday, you became my girl again. Yesterday, you said you loved me…but you can't stay FAITHFUL to me for ONE FUCKING DAY!?" Tifa felt tears come to her eyes. She couldn't look at Keenan. Behind him, she saw Cloud flex his hands. He was itching to jump in, she could see the hate in his eyes; but he was holding back…

"You're scaring me… Keenan I do love you… its just…" Tifa muttered, aware of how vulnerable she was. Cloud's eyes widened as he realised what she said. That's what she wanted to tell him. Damn… but he should have realised how she felt. But it didn't matter who she loved. This asshole was out of order. But Cloud wasn't jumping in until he saw Tifa threatened. He knew she wouldn't thank him for it.

Keenan stood up. "I know exactly who you love, and it isn't me. I've always known whom I'm fighting against in your heart…" Tifa screamed as he turned and launched himself at the unsuspecting blonde behind him.

Cloud was still sore from the fight with Zack and Aeris let alone the fire. As Keenan ran into him and brought him down on the floor, Cloud brought his knees up and kicked Keenan away with one flick of his feet. But Keenan left his mark. One of his flailing fists had landed on Cloud's nose, the other on his jaw; resulting in blood dripping down Cloud's face. Cloud lowered his head. Tifa saw that familiar expression in his eyes; the expression when faced with Sephiroth or Rufus Shinra. Pure revengeful hate. "Cloud... no!" she cried.

Cloud paused at Tifa's words. Keenan advanced on him, and Cloud slowly got to his feet, staring down at the slightly smaller, darker man. Keenan laughed evilly. "What's wrong? Not such a hotshot when you haven't got that sword, are ya?! Ha. Just because you're Cloud Strife, doesn't mean I'm afraid of you; no. That doesn't mean you can sleep with my girl; I know she aint a slag, but you... you've just broken up with another girl and now you're in Tifa's bed?? I wish you'd burnt in that fire; just like your whole damn hometown did..." Tifa cried out in pain and indignation. Cloud just snapped.

Cloud ended Keenan's speech with a hard punch to the jaw. It was all over in a minute, while Tifa stood there too shocked to move. Cloud pummelled Keenan's face with both fists, grabbed Keenan's head and slammed it into the wall, kneed him in the lower back, punched him in the back of the head some more and twisted his arm up behind him until he cried out for mercy. Tifa finally found her voice. "Cloud! Stop!" she cried.

Cloud relaxed the hold so Keenan no longer cried out in pain. Tifa stood behind Cloud and laid a hand on his shoulder. He gave a little jump, and turned to look at her. Cloud had a cold look in his eyes, but it melted away when he saw Tifa's face. Her eyes held so much pain; they were red and puffy from the tears, and she was trying yet failing to control those tears. "I'm so sorry..." she mouthed. Cloud swallowed and closed his eyes.

"Is that it then? Teef... I don't wanna lose you... you're my best friend...you're all I have..." he whispered. Tifa heard the pain in his voice. She reached up and hugged him, but Cloud didn't respond. He just let go of the bruised and bleeding Keenan and walked over to the other bed, turning his back on them and looking out the window. Tifa knew it was to hide his tears.

Keenan sat on the floor, with his hand over his mouth and nose, trying to stop the bleeding. Tifa felt sorry for him; but he shouldn't have brought Nibelheim up at all. That was inexcusable. Tifa felt like giving him her own beating. "Outside. Now." she snapped, her voice portraying her fury. "We need to talk..." Keenan gave Cloud a glance, then looked behind Tifa where the burnt Ultima Sword was stood. Tifa knew what he was looking at. As Keenan dove forward, Tifa gave him a simple kick. He stumbled back, finally getting the point, and walked dejectedly out of the door. Tifa turned around, looking at Cloud. She knew him well enough to see he was sobbing really hard.

Tifa walked over to him. Cloud didn't look at her. She sighed. "Cloud... I'm sorry. Please believe me. I love Keenan, but... you're my true love. I'll always love you..." Tifa studied his face. He still had the blank expression on, but he was shaking and his lips were trembling. He turned to her suddenly. "He's right... I am a slag. I should be the one who's sorry, for getting with you a day after Aeris left... but I couldn't help it. I haven't felt like this ever..." He hung his head and Tifa felt her heart breaking along with his. "Like what?" she asked softly. Cloud didn't answer. Tifa threw her arms around him and felt the effort it was taking for him to stay together. After what seemed like forever, he kissed her gently on the forehead and turned away. "He's waiting for you, Teef... I'm sorry for going crazy on him... but he shouldn't have said..." Tifa nodded grimly. "I know. I'm gonna go crazy on him myself right now..."

Cloud flopped on the bed as Tifa walked out, and finally let all his sobs out in one long scream, muffled by the pillows pressed to his face.

After about ten minutes, Cloud could finally think. He knew what he had to do now. Tifa had to have her own space to think; it was too late to worry about losing her. What was done was done. Although he couldn't think of living without Tifa, he cared too much for her to let himself get in the way if she decided to pick Keenan. He got up and tore a piece of paper off the pad on the desk.

15 minutes later, Cloud got up and got fully dressed. Looking over the room, he spotted the sword. He clipped the Ultima Weapon to his belt and walked downstairs hesitatingly. He breathed a sigh of relief that Tifa wasn't there to stop him. He saw she was stood in the porch, arguing still. He walked through the bar, looking back as he walked out of the Starlit Heaven and wishing he didn't have to walk out on the love of his life. But he had to.

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Tifa pushed Keenan out of the door. "There's no way I'm gonna give you a chance now! I come from Nibelheim as well, remember? That was the most evil, underhanded thing you could have said. It's over Keenan. You're not who I thought you were..." She paused for breath. Keenan grimaced. "Neither are you. Why give me a chance if you love him more?" Tifa smiled. "I was going to give you a chance, but I realised that Cloud is 5 times the man you are. Goodbye Keenan. If I'm in Wutai I'll look you up! And don't go spreading rumours about me, or my best friend Yuffie - the heir to the Wutai throne, you know? - will make sure I get revenge..." Tifa stepped back and slammed the door. She saw Keenan walk away after a while. Tifa sighed and turned back upstairs. Now for the most difficult part.

"Cloud?" He didn't answer. Walking in, Tifa didn't see him anywhere. She started looking around the other rooms, frantically. No, Cloud... don't do this to me... Tifa looked back into their room. Cloud's clothes and shoes had gone, so had his sword. So he'd actually gone. Tifa sank down on the bed, bursting into the heaviest tears she had sobbed since Cloud fell into the Lifestream. She felt a crackle of paper under one of her sprawled out arms, and on looking, realised it was written on in Cloud's handwriting. Tifa wiped her eyes and started reading.

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Warning: soppy letter coming up!!!!