Twice Broken
a/n Yep another angsty drama fic from me. This one as the summary tells you is about Sherry and what happens to her (particularly emotionally) when she secretly follows Chris, Claire and the others onto a mission (it's angst so it's not going to be good stuff). Basically this first chapter is a prologue, to show as the title for it suggests that Sherry has changed. In this story as you will notice I don't use Sherry exactly like she was in RE2. In it I found her way too clingy and childish so in this I've made her stronger and more resilient and of course grown up (I think that makes her a much better and more accurate character... anyone could have been excused from clingy and scared with the happenings of Raccoon city at her age... heck some of us are even now and we're only playing it).
Anyway now that I've explained a little I guess I'll get on with the fic.
Chapter One: I've Changed
***
Even beginning to write this I know I shouldn't, there will be absolutely no turning back if I do. Once I start writing this I won't be able to stop myself, I'll become completely committed to my plan. Not that it's a very good plan, just dangerous and I guess I'm only doing because of that, and my anger and contempt for them. Angry at how they were all to ready to side- line me when push came to shove, how untrusting they were of my abilities. I've tried to convince them otherwise but to no avail, but now I realise it was no use. They'd already made up their minds about me and that was that, I'm too young apparently. Too young? I'm old enough... and anyway I'm more mature than Rebecca has ever been... not that that says much, the girl's on par with a puppy. And as for what I've been through before, what I've survived, that should speak volumes.. it does just not in my favour. Okay maybe I didn't keep the coolest of heads back in Raccoon city, but what can you expect? I was a child back then for Christ's sake (still am apparently), now I know better. Better than to run into the *safety* of the arms of some girl who only fractionally had a better chance of escaping than me (well if I'd dropped that wretched pendant). I was scared, I freaked out, I'll admit it, but who on earth can possibly blame me? I was in a town that consisted of only single units in its (really) still living population. A town that was more of a resemblance to hell than anything else I've ever seen, than I'm sure anyone's ever seen. A town that had seen more horrors than it ever deserved, than any town ever deserved. Rationality just goes out the window. Did they expect me to go round with a gun shooting at all those undead freaks? Did they think that they'd act any different than me if they were in my shoes? Did they think they could've done better? I think, no I know not. I was young then, but it bares no resemblance as to how I'd act now. I was a little girl, of course I was going to be frightened. They were older, practically adults, they could deal with it better than I could have, although now I'm certain I'd be even cooler than they'd be in such a situation, now it's all changed.
They forget the major thing in all this family ties, none of their families were involved. Comrades, friends, acquaintances maybe, but not family, they had an emotional time but nothing like how I had it. To have to learn that your mother and father are in some way (major understatement) responsible for the destruction of an entire town carries a lot of emotional baggage. Also to not know what at all was going on around you, except evil, takes some time for a child to deal with. Well actually I lie... I DID know what was going on, sort of. To put it more precisely I both knew and didn't know what was going on. Sure I read reports (did they really think buying me a computer would just lead to me chatting and playing games with it?) but I didn't understand... believed it to be some fictive story or something. I guess you ignore certain facts when it's family, ignore any abnormality that presents itself. Ignore the fact that you were constantly being left alone late at night. Ignore how there were constantly secret telephone conversations and meetings involving your parents. Ignore how there were men watching you whenever you stepped outside, trying to blend in with the other cars and other people but severely failing. It sounds completely dumb when you write this all down, so obvious, but how many kids want to believe that their parents are capable of evil, real evil that pales in comparison to any atrocity or war that has gone before it? I'll tell you, you give a lot of benefit of the doubt to them in those circumstances, you don't want to accept it and you'll do anything to delay any confrontation. I didn't need to hack though to know something was wrong, I just knew. Being moved from *family friend* to family friend and town to town, barely spending a few months at any one school tells you something and it isn't that you parents want you to have an adventure (something I used to believe in my younger years). But ignore the signs I did, I let innocence and loyalty cloud my judgement... maybe if I'd been more like I am now I could have changed everything, but who would have believed me. The police chief was bent, the mayor corrupt, the town to fearful to make a stand, I would have had no chance. I have to tell myself that I couldn't have made a difference, otherwise the guilt would crush me.
But all that really has no bearing on now, except to show that I've changed, that I'm different. To show I'm not going to die on them, to show I can plant a bullet in the head of ones of those freaks just as remorselessly as they can. To show I can be an aid to them, not a hindrance. But no as I've said it's no good, they're not going for it. They look at me and think I'm a child, think I'm useless. Maybe it is true what they so though, that they care about me too much to let anything happened to me. However they've got to learn that this is my fight too, Umbrella has cost me so much, my home, my family, a normal life, everything. I've lost just as much as they have, more in fact and I'm not going to take it standing down, not going to let others be the hero. Then they turn around to me and tell me that I'm not going to be a part of their operations... do they expect me to just accept that? Expect me to have a normal life, to forget and let them get on with it, expect me to surrender? That's not going to happen as I keep saying. They do care about me, I know that, but they will have to learn that they cannot run me like a normal child, I'm not. And saying no over something like this will not automatically constitute obedience on my part, no God damn way am I being left behind.
Anyway I'm pretty sure I know more than they do on the situation. They don't exactly rely on computer data so I can't be definite about it but I'm pretty sure that I'm better briefed. One of the things I guess I just forgot to tell them was how I had usernames and passwords to stuff they couldn't hope to see... hacking and parents deep into the corporation does that for you. Something just told me that I should keep stuff like that to myself and it's lucky I did... they would have used them so much that someone would have twigged in head office and cancelled the said passwords. So I know a lot more about this base in Russia than they do. Although there are many bases this one is of particular interest. The base specifically works on the Tyrant and thus improving it for the needs of Umbrella. The research there is very experimental and also important to the *cause*. That's not why they're going there so I believe, the base is also a home for a lot of 'restricted information' and this is something our group is lacking in (and that includes me, websites are only trustable for certain information... goodness knows why...).
So that's where they're going and that's where I'm going to follow them to. How? Well that could prove to be a little complicated in places. They leave tomorrow, and I'll be all alone (I'm not old enough to go with them, but I can survive by myself?). I'm expected to carry on as normal, go to school, eat, sleep, etc as I have already said. This will make it pretty simple to slip away practically unnoticed (well nobody's going to notice until I'm well on my way or more likely there, much less do anything about it). I've already arranged a flight from Paris to Moscow and a transfer from there on a domestic flight in advance. From what I gather Chris is calling in an old favour from his air force days and taking a 'private' flight there. The only problem with all this is the passport/me being a minor issue, it's solvable though. I've already *prepared* a passport (the government really shouldn't rely on computers and the internet so much). Long story short my newly arrived passport says I'm 19 years old, I think I can pull it off.. I'll just have to wear my hair up, it shouldn't be hard people don't notice me, I blend (sad but an advantage). It should all be much simpler when I get there though, they'll have no choice but to let me in on the plan. I realise it's wrong of me to do this, endangering the mission and all that, but it's the only way I can see. I'm not going to wait a couple of years, I'm up for it now and they're just going to have to accept that tough luck. I realise I'm being cold about this but that's anger for you, I'm not the fifth wheel and I'm sure as hell not going to act like it, I can't and I won't.
Why I've written this is simple. Perhaps somewhat to let off steam but I need to justify my actions, to myself if no-one else. Now I've written it I'm more determined than ever, I'm going through with it and nothing's going to stop me. I'm going to prove myself to them, whether they choose to like it or not.
***
a/n Well that was the prologue, the next chapters will be in third person as opposed to first. I guess I made the shift in Sherry clear, I think it works pretty well. I think it's fair to say that she was a girl in Raccoon city and on growing up she's found the determination, strength and initiative to get herself far away from her previous character. Hope you enjoyed it of course, as always views, comments, etc are as always appreciated.
Dan
a/n Yep another angsty drama fic from me. This one as the summary tells you is about Sherry and what happens to her (particularly emotionally) when she secretly follows Chris, Claire and the others onto a mission (it's angst so it's not going to be good stuff). Basically this first chapter is a prologue, to show as the title for it suggests that Sherry has changed. In this story as you will notice I don't use Sherry exactly like she was in RE2. In it I found her way too clingy and childish so in this I've made her stronger and more resilient and of course grown up (I think that makes her a much better and more accurate character... anyone could have been excused from clingy and scared with the happenings of Raccoon city at her age... heck some of us are even now and we're only playing it).
Anyway now that I've explained a little I guess I'll get on with the fic.
Chapter One: I've Changed
***
Even beginning to write this I know I shouldn't, there will be absolutely no turning back if I do. Once I start writing this I won't be able to stop myself, I'll become completely committed to my plan. Not that it's a very good plan, just dangerous and I guess I'm only doing because of that, and my anger and contempt for them. Angry at how they were all to ready to side- line me when push came to shove, how untrusting they were of my abilities. I've tried to convince them otherwise but to no avail, but now I realise it was no use. They'd already made up their minds about me and that was that, I'm too young apparently. Too young? I'm old enough... and anyway I'm more mature than Rebecca has ever been... not that that says much, the girl's on par with a puppy. And as for what I've been through before, what I've survived, that should speak volumes.. it does just not in my favour. Okay maybe I didn't keep the coolest of heads back in Raccoon city, but what can you expect? I was a child back then for Christ's sake (still am apparently), now I know better. Better than to run into the *safety* of the arms of some girl who only fractionally had a better chance of escaping than me (well if I'd dropped that wretched pendant). I was scared, I freaked out, I'll admit it, but who on earth can possibly blame me? I was in a town that consisted of only single units in its (really) still living population. A town that was more of a resemblance to hell than anything else I've ever seen, than I'm sure anyone's ever seen. A town that had seen more horrors than it ever deserved, than any town ever deserved. Rationality just goes out the window. Did they expect me to go round with a gun shooting at all those undead freaks? Did they think that they'd act any different than me if they were in my shoes? Did they think they could've done better? I think, no I know not. I was young then, but it bares no resemblance as to how I'd act now. I was a little girl, of course I was going to be frightened. They were older, practically adults, they could deal with it better than I could have, although now I'm certain I'd be even cooler than they'd be in such a situation, now it's all changed.
They forget the major thing in all this family ties, none of their families were involved. Comrades, friends, acquaintances maybe, but not family, they had an emotional time but nothing like how I had it. To have to learn that your mother and father are in some way (major understatement) responsible for the destruction of an entire town carries a lot of emotional baggage. Also to not know what at all was going on around you, except evil, takes some time for a child to deal with. Well actually I lie... I DID know what was going on, sort of. To put it more precisely I both knew and didn't know what was going on. Sure I read reports (did they really think buying me a computer would just lead to me chatting and playing games with it?) but I didn't understand... believed it to be some fictive story or something. I guess you ignore certain facts when it's family, ignore any abnormality that presents itself. Ignore the fact that you were constantly being left alone late at night. Ignore how there were constantly secret telephone conversations and meetings involving your parents. Ignore how there were men watching you whenever you stepped outside, trying to blend in with the other cars and other people but severely failing. It sounds completely dumb when you write this all down, so obvious, but how many kids want to believe that their parents are capable of evil, real evil that pales in comparison to any atrocity or war that has gone before it? I'll tell you, you give a lot of benefit of the doubt to them in those circumstances, you don't want to accept it and you'll do anything to delay any confrontation. I didn't need to hack though to know something was wrong, I just knew. Being moved from *family friend* to family friend and town to town, barely spending a few months at any one school tells you something and it isn't that you parents want you to have an adventure (something I used to believe in my younger years). But ignore the signs I did, I let innocence and loyalty cloud my judgement... maybe if I'd been more like I am now I could have changed everything, but who would have believed me. The police chief was bent, the mayor corrupt, the town to fearful to make a stand, I would have had no chance. I have to tell myself that I couldn't have made a difference, otherwise the guilt would crush me.
But all that really has no bearing on now, except to show that I've changed, that I'm different. To show I'm not going to die on them, to show I can plant a bullet in the head of ones of those freaks just as remorselessly as they can. To show I can be an aid to them, not a hindrance. But no as I've said it's no good, they're not going for it. They look at me and think I'm a child, think I'm useless. Maybe it is true what they so though, that they care about me too much to let anything happened to me. However they've got to learn that this is my fight too, Umbrella has cost me so much, my home, my family, a normal life, everything. I've lost just as much as they have, more in fact and I'm not going to take it standing down, not going to let others be the hero. Then they turn around to me and tell me that I'm not going to be a part of their operations... do they expect me to just accept that? Expect me to have a normal life, to forget and let them get on with it, expect me to surrender? That's not going to happen as I keep saying. They do care about me, I know that, but they will have to learn that they cannot run me like a normal child, I'm not. And saying no over something like this will not automatically constitute obedience on my part, no God damn way am I being left behind.
Anyway I'm pretty sure I know more than they do on the situation. They don't exactly rely on computer data so I can't be definite about it but I'm pretty sure that I'm better briefed. One of the things I guess I just forgot to tell them was how I had usernames and passwords to stuff they couldn't hope to see... hacking and parents deep into the corporation does that for you. Something just told me that I should keep stuff like that to myself and it's lucky I did... they would have used them so much that someone would have twigged in head office and cancelled the said passwords. So I know a lot more about this base in Russia than they do. Although there are many bases this one is of particular interest. The base specifically works on the Tyrant and thus improving it for the needs of Umbrella. The research there is very experimental and also important to the *cause*. That's not why they're going there so I believe, the base is also a home for a lot of 'restricted information' and this is something our group is lacking in (and that includes me, websites are only trustable for certain information... goodness knows why...).
So that's where they're going and that's where I'm going to follow them to. How? Well that could prove to be a little complicated in places. They leave tomorrow, and I'll be all alone (I'm not old enough to go with them, but I can survive by myself?). I'm expected to carry on as normal, go to school, eat, sleep, etc as I have already said. This will make it pretty simple to slip away practically unnoticed (well nobody's going to notice until I'm well on my way or more likely there, much less do anything about it). I've already arranged a flight from Paris to Moscow and a transfer from there on a domestic flight in advance. From what I gather Chris is calling in an old favour from his air force days and taking a 'private' flight there. The only problem with all this is the passport/me being a minor issue, it's solvable though. I've already *prepared* a passport (the government really shouldn't rely on computers and the internet so much). Long story short my newly arrived passport says I'm 19 years old, I think I can pull it off.. I'll just have to wear my hair up, it shouldn't be hard people don't notice me, I blend (sad but an advantage). It should all be much simpler when I get there though, they'll have no choice but to let me in on the plan. I realise it's wrong of me to do this, endangering the mission and all that, but it's the only way I can see. I'm not going to wait a couple of years, I'm up for it now and they're just going to have to accept that tough luck. I realise I'm being cold about this but that's anger for you, I'm not the fifth wheel and I'm sure as hell not going to act like it, I can't and I won't.
Why I've written this is simple. Perhaps somewhat to let off steam but I need to justify my actions, to myself if no-one else. Now I've written it I'm more determined than ever, I'm going through with it and nothing's going to stop me. I'm going to prove myself to them, whether they choose to like it or not.
***
a/n Well that was the prologue, the next chapters will be in third person as opposed to first. I guess I made the shift in Sherry clear, I think it works pretty well. I think it's fair to say that she was a girl in Raccoon city and on growing up she's found the determination, strength and initiative to get herself far away from her previous character. Hope you enjoyed it of course, as always views, comments, etc are as always appreciated.
Dan