Attitude
By: Dark Draconain
Rated: PG
Feedback: I will love you always ^_*
Disclaimer: The Enterprise characters are owned by Paramount (I think). In any
event they're not mine, I make no money off this, you know the rest. ^_^
Summery: When all is said and done, he'll only ever be her captain. (A/T)
He lay in the darkness, staring unseeing at ceiling above him. Shots of light from passing stars blasted through the room, casting daunting shadows on his still features. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. But he couldn't. He couldn't stop thinking. Thinking about her. The same way he had on so many other nights.
He had hated her. Hated everything about her. Her attitude, her history, her people. Everything. But then something happened. He didn't when. He didn't know how. But it had. Somewhere along the lines he had learned to respect her, to like her, to…to love her. Her persistence, her brilliance, her independence. Everything.
But what he felt didn't matter. He knew that. It never would matter, either. She was too cold. She'd spend too long without emotions. And he knew, deep down, that no matter what he felt for her that would never change.
She could never love him.
And even if she did, what would it matter? There was nothing either of them could about it. He was her captain, and that was that. Period. End of story. That's all she wrote.
But still…
What if she felt the same?
She didn't. He had told himself that a million times.
But still…
He had to know. Had to hear from her that she didn't love him. Had to know for sure.
He got to his feet and threw on some clothes. He made it all the way to her cabin door. And then he just stood there, rooted the spot. He didn't know how long he stood there, staring at the cold, empty door. Finally he turned and walked away. There was a faint noise behind him, and he turned to see T'Pol standing in the small doorway to her cabin.
"Captain?" she asked.
Captain. That was it. That was all he would ever be to her.
"Yeah?" he managed to croak out.
"May I ask why you were standing outside my cabin in the middle of the night?" her voice was cold, logical. Completely devoid of emotion.
"I, ah, I couldn't sleep so I was just, ah…just going for a walk," he said lamely.
"I see."
He cast her a croaked smile. "G'night, T'Pol," he said quietly.
She nodded unseen to his back as he began to walk away. "Good night, Jonathan," she whispered and disappeared back into her room, the door hissing shut behind her.
He made it half way down the narrow corridor before he turned. But it was too late. She had gone away.
And he had lost out again.
- - - -
Maybe I act on confused behavior
Maybe waves crash like semi-trailer
Maybe I'll spend my off time without you
It seems like we need our own space
And I'll the time I wasted away
I don't feel good unless you stay
And all the time I chased you away
Simply to catch back up with
Your solitude is welcome
Your attitude is welcome
"Attitude" by Alien Ant Farm
~Fin~