Chapter 7: Darth Vader???
"Where."
Scott's question was cut off by the whizzing speeder car that nearly slammed his head.
Mini Me was clinging to Dr. Evil's bald head while Mini Darth was wrapped around Dr. Evil's leg.
"Ahhh! Get off my head you freakin mutt!"
Dr. Evil eventually threw off Mini Me.
"Scott, where the freakin are we?" Scott wasn't listening. He was drooling at a pair of hot babes in fishnet stockings and thongs (remember that bar scene in AOTC?). Dr. Evil slapped him.
"What? What? Oh, I think we are in Coruscant?"
Dr. Evil impatiently crossed his arms.
"Oh, that is sooo helpful! Like I know what "Coruscant" (from now on quotation marks in dialogues mean the finger thing!) is!"
"It's the planet the emperor lives on, ass!"
Dr. Evil's eyes brightened up!
"Did you say, 'emperor'? What?"
Dr. Evil looked down to see Mini Me innocently tugging at his jacket and pointing at Mini Darth, who was running towards a big palace nearby.
"Come back, Mini Darth! Come back!"
Dr. Evil grabbed Mini Me and did an Olympic sprint while throwing Mini Me like a lasso over his head, then threw the squealing clone at Mini Darth. He and Mini Me rolled for a few seconds until Dr. Evil came with a brown leash in hand.
"Ok, Mini Darth. If you can't be a good Sith lord I'll just have to tie you up."
With that, Dr. Evil tied the leash underneath his sulking helmet.
"Why did you do that, ass! Maybe the dude was taking us somewhere important, like the emperor!" implored Scott. Dr. Evil's eyes brightened.
"Yes, yes, the emperor! Come, Mini Darth, take us to your leader!"
Meanwhile, not too far away..
Darth Vader walked diligently down the Executor's hall to the navigation room.
It would be best to capture this Austin Powers in Coruscant, he thought. From there I'll work my way through the galaxy. He instructed a navigator to land the ship near the Imperail Palace. But that power, that strange power so like the force, and yet, so different. I must find out what it is.
The Executor landed right in front of the palace. The landing was momentarily delayed, however, when the crew started gawking at a couple of scantily clad beautiful women near the palace. Darth Vader immediately slapped the crew with the force. I'll have to tighten palace security.
Darth Vader is a very observant and ready man, yet despite his 36 years of rigorous Jedi and Sith training nothing prepared him for the sight of a two foot clone of himself leashed by a pale bald gray-suited man followed by his clone and a weird teenage boy with strange and clothes, running all in a row, screaming "Come on, Mini Darth! Get the emperor! Good boy!" towards the palace. For a moment the stunned Sith lord just stared at the procession, especially at the copy of himself. After regaining his composure, Darth Vader froze the intruders with the force. Dr. Evil squealed.
Darth Vader treaded carefully to them and released his hold. The bald man gasped got a little jumpy.
"Oohhh! It's you! Darth Vader!!! I have traveled far and much, well, maybe not that much, to see you!"
Darth Vader studied the strange man.
"Who are you and where have you come from?" he demanded.
"Hey, do you have asthma? Oh my, Darth Vader has asthma! Good thing I brought my spray! I'll save you!"
Dr. Evil took an asthma spray and sprayed it all over Darth Vader's mask.
What in the galaxy is this psychopath doing? Asked a fuming Vader to himself.
He promptly wiped the alien liquid from his helmet.
"Stop. You will discontinue this nonsense. Answer my questions: What is your identity and planet of origin?"
"I am the great evil entrepreneur Dr. Evil. This is Mini Me, that pathetic looser is Scott ('ass' muttered a certain teenager) and this," said Dr. Evil, putting his hands on Mini Darth's shoulders, "is my present to you. Mini Darth."
Darth Vader stared at his clone. And I thought the emperor had sickening, queer tendencies.
"You are all to go to my ship and remain in custody until your interrogations. I am tired of this nonsense."
Dr. Evil almost cried.
"But you need to help me find Austin Powers!"
Darth Vader's ears (or sensors?) perked at this. He turned slowly back at the band of idiots.
"Do you know of this Austin Powers?"
Dr. Evil snorted.
"Are you freakin kidding me? He is my arch nemesis. He is all that keeps me from taking over the Earth!"
Darth Vader pondered at this. Sure, I'll have to put up with this stupidity. But I will get Austin Powers, learn about this earth. and I might even get to keep that cute little dark lord sucker.
"Very well. If you assist me in capturing Austin Powers and remain in my captivity, you will not be interrogated or tortured."
"Yahh!" screamed Dr. Evil. He grabbed Darth Vader by the shoulder, holding Mini Me upon on his own shoulder.
"We are FAMILY!!! Dark lord, evil genius and me! Oh, oh."
"Ohhhh, shut up!" screamed Scott. He took out a stereo and played, 'Yoda' by Weird Al.
Darth Vader tried desperately to groan. Why me, why me!!!
"Where."
Scott's question was cut off by the whizzing speeder car that nearly slammed his head.
Mini Me was clinging to Dr. Evil's bald head while Mini Darth was wrapped around Dr. Evil's leg.
"Ahhh! Get off my head you freakin mutt!"
Dr. Evil eventually threw off Mini Me.
"Scott, where the freakin are we?" Scott wasn't listening. He was drooling at a pair of hot babes in fishnet stockings and thongs (remember that bar scene in AOTC?). Dr. Evil slapped him.
"What? What? Oh, I think we are in Coruscant?"
Dr. Evil impatiently crossed his arms.
"Oh, that is sooo helpful! Like I know what "Coruscant" (from now on quotation marks in dialogues mean the finger thing!) is!"
"It's the planet the emperor lives on, ass!"
Dr. Evil's eyes brightened up!
"Did you say, 'emperor'? What?"
Dr. Evil looked down to see Mini Me innocently tugging at his jacket and pointing at Mini Darth, who was running towards a big palace nearby.
"Come back, Mini Darth! Come back!"
Dr. Evil grabbed Mini Me and did an Olympic sprint while throwing Mini Me like a lasso over his head, then threw the squealing clone at Mini Darth. He and Mini Me rolled for a few seconds until Dr. Evil came with a brown leash in hand.
"Ok, Mini Darth. If you can't be a good Sith lord I'll just have to tie you up."
With that, Dr. Evil tied the leash underneath his sulking helmet.
"Why did you do that, ass! Maybe the dude was taking us somewhere important, like the emperor!" implored Scott. Dr. Evil's eyes brightened.
"Yes, yes, the emperor! Come, Mini Darth, take us to your leader!"
Meanwhile, not too far away..
Darth Vader walked diligently down the Executor's hall to the navigation room.
It would be best to capture this Austin Powers in Coruscant, he thought. From there I'll work my way through the galaxy. He instructed a navigator to land the ship near the Imperail Palace. But that power, that strange power so like the force, and yet, so different. I must find out what it is.
The Executor landed right in front of the palace. The landing was momentarily delayed, however, when the crew started gawking at a couple of scantily clad beautiful women near the palace. Darth Vader immediately slapped the crew with the force. I'll have to tighten palace security.
Darth Vader is a very observant and ready man, yet despite his 36 years of rigorous Jedi and Sith training nothing prepared him for the sight of a two foot clone of himself leashed by a pale bald gray-suited man followed by his clone and a weird teenage boy with strange and clothes, running all in a row, screaming "Come on, Mini Darth! Get the emperor! Good boy!" towards the palace. For a moment the stunned Sith lord just stared at the procession, especially at the copy of himself. After regaining his composure, Darth Vader froze the intruders with the force. Dr. Evil squealed.
Darth Vader treaded carefully to them and released his hold. The bald man gasped got a little jumpy.
"Oohhh! It's you! Darth Vader!!! I have traveled far and much, well, maybe not that much, to see you!"
Darth Vader studied the strange man.
"Who are you and where have you come from?" he demanded.
"Hey, do you have asthma? Oh my, Darth Vader has asthma! Good thing I brought my spray! I'll save you!"
Dr. Evil took an asthma spray and sprayed it all over Darth Vader's mask.
What in the galaxy is this psychopath doing? Asked a fuming Vader to himself.
He promptly wiped the alien liquid from his helmet.
"Stop. You will discontinue this nonsense. Answer my questions: What is your identity and planet of origin?"
"I am the great evil entrepreneur Dr. Evil. This is Mini Me, that pathetic looser is Scott ('ass' muttered a certain teenager) and this," said Dr. Evil, putting his hands on Mini Darth's shoulders, "is my present to you. Mini Darth."
Darth Vader stared at his clone. And I thought the emperor had sickening, queer tendencies.
"You are all to go to my ship and remain in custody until your interrogations. I am tired of this nonsense."
Dr. Evil almost cried.
"But you need to help me find Austin Powers!"
Darth Vader's ears (or sensors?) perked at this. He turned slowly back at the band of idiots.
"Do you know of this Austin Powers?"
Dr. Evil snorted.
"Are you freakin kidding me? He is my arch nemesis. He is all that keeps me from taking over the Earth!"
Darth Vader pondered at this. Sure, I'll have to put up with this stupidity. But I will get Austin Powers, learn about this earth. and I might even get to keep that cute little dark lord sucker.
"Very well. If you assist me in capturing Austin Powers and remain in my captivity, you will not be interrogated or tortured."
"Yahh!" screamed Dr. Evil. He grabbed Darth Vader by the shoulder, holding Mini Me upon on his own shoulder.
"We are FAMILY!!! Dark lord, evil genius and me! Oh, oh."
"Ohhhh, shut up!" screamed Scott. He took out a stereo and played, 'Yoda' by Weird Al.
Darth Vader tried desperately to groan. Why me, why me!!!