Ron's Worst Nightmare
A/N: Okay, this chap's extremely crappy and boring at the start, but it gets really good and funny, I swear!! Thanx are at the end after my rambling author notes which I beg you to read!!
Chapter Three: Midget Tosser
Bill and Draco had arrived in an alleyway. After climbing out of a garbage can and picking bits of rotten fish off himself, Draco glared at the older boy. But his glare turned instantly into a grin as Bill rose out of a dumpster, a used condom hanging off his nose.
The Weasly had to cross his eyes to properly see the object which stuck to his face, smelling oddly. When it dawned on him that this was a muggle safe sex instrument, he squawked and flicked it away with his wand.
Unfortunately, he had flung it straight at Draco, whom it hit right in the face. Reeling backwards, the former Slytherin plopped back into the smelly garbage can. He pulled off the condom and gagged.
When they had finally made it out of the alleyway safely, Bill performed a quick spell that cleaned everything and left them smelling like mint. Then he pulled out list from his pocket and began to read off what was on it.
"Alright, we need to stop by the Leaky Cauldron and pick up some pig's wart. Then we need to-"
Charming, thought Draco, watching the tall red head reading the list. So far, Bill had been a pretty fair guy. Actually, over the years, Draco found his hatred for the poor family dwindling into a petty dislike of his school enemy, Ron. Mrs. Weasly was an enchanting woman and a master cook, and what Draco knew of Mr. Weasly was that he was a kind soul always bending over backwards to do good for others. Even if they were lowly muggles.
"Draco?" Bill tapped him on the shoulder, snapping him back into the real world. Draco gave him an easy smile and Bill smiled back. Any uneasiness between the two was fading quickly and was almost gone by the time they had gone through everything on the list.
They both had received quite a few looks from other wizards. Obviously, it was rather strange to see a Weasly and a Malfoy together and unharmed.
Bill sent the groceries back to his mother with a causal spell and turned back to the blonde.
"Want to go get some ice cream? Then afterwards we can just cruise awhile."
Cruise? Draco smirked, "Sure."
Sitting at an old rickety wire table outside a small ice cream shop, Bill discreetly studied his charge over a mound of rocky road. Draco noticed the red head's eyes on him, but didn't mind. He was used to being stared at, gawked at, ogled at, admired even. And Bill could look at him as long as he dang well pleased.
Purposefully getting a small spot of strawberry on his nose, Draco looked up at Bill. Instantly, the older boy rubbed his own nose. Draco ignored it.
"Draco?"
"Yes?"
"You have a bit of cream on your nose."
Draco wiped at it, completely missing. Bill pointed and he tried again, missing. Finally, wondering why in Merlin's name he was doing this, he asked Bill to get it for him.
Blushing ever so slightly, Bill leaned over the round table and wiped the ice cream off of Draco's nose. The blonde smiled, a little disappointed that it hadn't been licked off, and continued to eat.
Then he froze.
Wait a darn tootin' second! Was he, Draco Malfoy, *flirting*? Wanting Bill to LICK the ice cream off his nose? A WEASLY?? His eyes dropped and he mentally scolded himself.
Yeah, so what if he's nice to you? You can't go around flirting with every nice guy you meet. For Merlin's sakes, he SAVED you!! And here you are, flirting!
Finished with ice cream, the two wizards walked around until they came upon an expensive clothing store. Immediately feeling playful, Draco grabbed Bill's arm and tugged him inside.
"Ooh! We just have to go in here!!" He squealed and would've shot full speed into the store, had not Bill stopped him.
"What's gotten into you, Draco?" Bill wondered if these mood swings were normal. Maybe it was the ice cream.....
"Sugar. And you're being such a nice guy." Now why did I say that? How incredibly dwonky. God, now he thinks I'm some kind of ditzy boy toy.
Now, was that a bad thing?
Bill laughed, "Then we'll just have to keep you chocked full of that sweet stuff then, eh?"
Draco couldn't help but grin. He felt good with Bill. In fact, the whole time they had been together, he had not thought once of his father. And, if he could do anything about it, he would like very much to keep it that way. So he took Bill's hand tightly in his own, their fingers lacing together as if by habit, and pulled him through the store until they reached a section where they had full body mirrors and a young woman with a measuring tape around her neck.
"May I help you?" she asked, eyeing them appraisingly. But when she noticed their hands clasped together, she smile faded slightly.
Draco held back a giggle and looked around. He felt especially obnoxious today. And this girl looked like a right snob. He felt the Malfoy trait of heartless mischief shoot through his veins and grinned quite evilly. The girl's smile disappeared and she sighed inwardly.
God, not another one. And they're always blonde pretty boys! Yeesh.
She grudgingly motioned to the pedestal and Draco stifled a giggle, straightening his face. "That pedestal is rather high, don't you think?" And grimacing, the girl helped him up. Bill hid a smile behind his hand and sat down in one of the chairs.
Now *this*, was the Draco Malfoy he remembered.
~*~
Ron entered his bedroom and gasped. The bed had been slept in and a robe- lime green- lay discarded on the ground.
Malfoy!
He gagged, then noticed the picture of himself with Harry and Hermione slightly crooked on the night stand. He picked it up and sighed. Harry and Hermione would be there soon. Maybe all this wouldn't be so terribly, despicably, horribly, painfully..... bad with them around.
Or not. Draco Malfoy had slept in his bed. In nothing but a thick, full bodied robe on. Okay, so maybe just his feet and his head touch the sheets. But still! It was Malfoy. A slimy gittish Malfoy that he had to garden with.
With a groan, the slim teen fell back on the bed. Then he noticed a book sticking half way out of Malfoy's bag. Curious, he walked over and snatched it from the suitcase, reading the title.
"Evil is as Evil Does", by Attila the Hun.
Wowzers, deep stuff. He went downstairs, flopping into an easy chair, and began to read.
~*~
After about a half an hour, the poor girl looked about forty years older.
Draco was modeling a drop dead dress suit that fit his body perfectly. Even Bill was taken aback by the shape. It was a deep gray flecked with black and under it was a creamy white silk shirt part way up buttoned. Draco's hair hung down in his eyes, and the whole outfit gave him a type of dignified edge.
"Hmmm. I like this, Sue, dear. You've done good." He patted her head like a dog and jumped off of the pedestal. Sauntering into the changing rooms, he got out of the suit and Sue wrapped it up for sale. Luckily, Draco had some money in his pockets.
When they got outside, Bill started towards the Leaky Cauldron, only to be drug to a stop by a pouty young Malfoy. He gave the older boy a sweet innocent smile that made Bill's heart flutter, and said, "We're done *already*?"
Bill, not able to resist the charm of the younger boy, sighed and let himself be dragged down the cobblestone street. This boy is worse than Ginny! he thought to himself.
~*~
Ron looked up from the book and saw Bill and Malfoy waltz in through the front door, arms bulging with packages. They didn't see him, so he set down the book and sat back to watch. This was the moment of truth. He tensed, but they passed him without a glance. Not that they could look at him anyway, seeing as how they carried towers of boxes in their arms.
As Bill stumbled under the weight of the merchandise into the kitchen, Malfoy gliding in behind him with no trouble, Ron heard Mrs. Weasly greet them cheerily and levitate the packages upstairs to Ron's room. And the owner of that room was leaning so far over in his chair to see, that when his mother called for him, he toppled from his precariously balanced seat and onto the floor in an ungraceful heap, startled.
Flushed with embarrassment, he reluctantly slumped into the kitchen, eyes down, hands shoved into his pockets. Without looking up, he could *sense* Malfoy's smug smirk that he had grown so accustomed to over the years. He knew Bill was probably hiding a smile and his mother looking stern. So he raised his eyes.
They instantly locked with the cold steely eyes of Draco Malfoy. He froze and both boys regarded each other warily. Malfoy's eyes darted over Ron's figure as Ron himself slowly took in the sight of his enemy.
Well, they thought in unison, he's changed.
Malfoy had not grown taller, and still looked like a delicate silver nymph. The changes in him that *had* occurred were subtle, but noticeable enough. Like the ever so slight broadening of his graceful shoulders and the shrinking of his already slim waist. Ron's eyes again rose and met the piercing gaze of even colder eyes, which had turned a darker, stormier gray, framed by thick lashes and a small, delicately pointed face. His platinum blonde hair shone pure white in the dim yellow kitchen lights and Ron almost gasped at the permanent pout on his lucious lips.
Ron let his breath out slowly, measuredly, as he saw, with shy self consciousness, the silver eyes roam over him calculatingly, studying him down to the last tiny freckle and shaking detail. The air caught in his throat and his eyes slipped shut. I hate this, he hissed inwardly. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!
Weasly's grown even more, Draco noticed with slight envy. Not to mention he filled out somewhat in his gawky form. Finally. Though even as lanky as he was, Weasly always remained somehow smooth moving and light on his feet. His skin, dotted with endearing freckles, looked like snow speckled with flecks of bronze. Which only went to set off his blazing brown eyes that opened and burned into Draco's cool glare.
Bill and Mrs. Weasly had left silently as the boys sized each other up. But Mrs. Weasly had not forgotten to leave a reminder above their heads in sparkly pink letters.
"De-gnome the garden and don't kill each other!"
Ron glared at the message scornfully as Malfoy looked on impassively. With an angry huff, he slammed out of the kitchen and into the back garden, overrun with weeds of every shape, size, and color. Malfoy followed him lazily, rolling his eyes. Won't this be fun?
The second Ron's feet touched the long wispy blades of deep green grass, there was a loud sound of little tiny feet scurrying over the ground in a panic. Instinctually, Ron lunged onto one of the little moving masses that Draco had just noticed were there. Ron's long fingers clamped down on the struggling thing's feet and with one mighty swing, he launched the lumpy garden Gnome over the fence. He climbed to his feet and dusted off. The fiery red hair on his head stood up on end and he had taken on the look of a complete maniac.
Malfoy arched a well groomed eyebrow and snorted, unimpressed. Ron glared at him, face reddening. He did NOT need this right now.
Angrily, he stomped away from the slimy blonde git and grabbed another stumpy Gnome, who viciously flipped both boys off when sailing over the fence in mid air with both hands. Purely satisfied, Ron turned back to his unwilling companion.
Suddenly, Malfoy appeared right beside him, same emotionless look on his elegant face. Ron jumped slightly, eliciting a small chuckle from the playful upturned mouth, "I did nothing to rile you up, Weasel. You just need to control your childish temper." Ignoring Ron's livid sputtering, he continued smugly, "Let me show you how it is done."
With lighting quick speed, he whipped out his left hand and in the blink of an eye, held a lump of wriggling warty flesh tight in his grasp. Ron leapt away in surprise with a cry. Malfoy did not even bat an eyelash as he effortlessly tossed the small creature over the fence where it landed with a dull thud in the long grass of the field.
This boy was stronger than he looked.
Openmouthed, Ron watched as Malfoy wiped his hands on his pants and smirked. Then, narrowing his glittering eyes maliciously, he challenged, "Beat that, Weasel."
And so it began. With withering glares, both boys grimaced and shot like rockets around the garden, de-gnoming like they had never de-gnomed before! All dignity, shame, maturity, and sense fled them as their boyish school rivalry blew full swing over them.
An hour later found both of them dirt covered, mud spattered, sweat soaked, and still growling competitively, leaning back to back against each other, legs splayed out over the disturbed ground.
The garden was a wreck and no one had bothered to keep score. But heck, all the gnomes were gone! ^_____^
Needless to say, Mrs. Weasly wasn't too happy when she found them fifteen minutes after they had stopped, slumping back against each other, head resting comfortably on each other's shoulders in exhausted sleep.
But she couldn't bring herself to yell at them. This was probably the only time they would stand to be near each other- touching each other- peacefully. Why not let them stay that way. So, smiling warmly and shaking her head, she went back inside, muttering a spell under her breath. Silently, both boys rose into the air, still in the same position and floated into the house, up the stairs, and into Ron's room and under the covers of his bed.
And there they slept for well over three hours until they woke up and screamed bloody murder at being in bed in each other's arms.
Heh heh heh.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Malfoy!"
"What the bloody hell do I think *I'm* doing? What about you!"
"This is my bed! Bugger!"
"I can see that perfectly fine, you ungodly lump of worthless skin!"
"Tosser!"
"Wanker!"
"Git!"
"Prat!"
"Weasel!"
"Ferret!"
"Carrot head!"
"Feminine boy!"
Now, do you think they noticed that they still had their arms around each other? No.
"Potty's invisible sidekick!"
"Midget!!"
All sound had come to a sudden and shocking stop. Malfoy had froze. Ron looked a touch triumphant, which faded as Malfoy's face contorted into something horrid and wrong.
"I AM NOT A BLOODY MIDGET YOU WEIRD GIANT........ THINGAMABOB!!" Draco leapt on top of Ron, pinning the taller boy under him and flailing his fists wildly. Ron caught a hand in his mouth and bit down. Draco yowled like wounded cat and spit in Ron's eye. Blinded, Ron flipped Draco over and both boys went pitching over the side of the bed and onto the floor in an ungainly heap of thrashing arms and legs.
Bill, Mrs. Weasly, and Mr. Weasly walked in and froze on the spot. Then, rolling her eyes in exasperation, Mrs. Weasly threw up her arms in defeat and marched out of the room. Mr. Weasly scratched his head thoughtfully and shrugged, "This is all yours, Bill. Have fun." And he left after his wife.
The oldest Weasly crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow critically. Boys will be boys, he reasoned. Then, he peeled a raging midget Malfoy off of his brother and held them apart with his hands. At first, they fought him, snarling and foaming at the mouth, but gradually calmed down. He let them go and Malfoy sniffed his bloodied nose and with the last of his remaining dignity, brushed himself off with a small hand and gave Ron an icy glare. The second to youngest Weasly glared right back, itching to get his hands around that slender throat.....
"Come on you guys! Act reasonably! You're going to be practically brothers for a while, so I suggest you get used to each other," he said, fixing them with a stern look. "Or I'll have to go to extremes."
Draco snorted, still glowering darkly at his taller opponent. Ron sneered right back. Bill sighed, "I'm sorry guys, but I see this isn't going anywhere. Damn, I really didn't want to have to do this." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at them. Then he muttered something unintelligible and the two boys snapped together like magnets. Their mouths fell open and their eyes widened up at Bill. Frantically, they tried to pull themselves apart, but with no luck.
They were stuck fast.
Satisfied, Bill gave them a last sorrowful look and walked out of the room. The boys gawked at the space he had just vacated with complete disbelief written all over their faces.
"This is NOT happening," Ron moaned. "This is inhuman!"
Without looking at him, Draco groaned, "Weasly, I have to go to the bathroom."
~~~~~~~~
A/N: *snerk!* I completely understand Draccie's pain!! I'm only five foot one and fourteen years old! Half of the damned six graders tower over me. *pouts* Eeyashka.
Anyway, those two, I tell ya. That's just too rich! Hahahahahahaha! Lalalalalalala! Review, review, review! And more will come I assure you! Oh yeah, and don't forget to tell your friends, too! Eep!
THANX TO MamaLaz: I don't know, love, I may be all the crueler for having them meet! *cackles evilly* Lady Victoria: Oh, milady, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying yourself! Kal: Yup, it surely will be! Promise. LillianaNoelia: *squeals* Oh, you know I just cannot resist pleading eyes! Oy! Thank you ever so much, doll! fangrlwlotsofideas: Oy, I know, I'm such a slow poke! Eep! Kimagure: Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!! Belldandy: Heeeerrreee yooouuu ggggooooo, ddeeaarreesstt! Pandora's Aquarium: *eyes grow huge* I love your stories!! OMG! EEEEEE! Anyhoosies- I'm honored, truly! Thank you! Spoop: *hangs head* geez, that's why I failed spelling! ^_^ snow-fox: *falls overwhelmed out of chair* Oy vey! What manners! ^_^ Hope you liked! Lothlorien: Oh, but it can get better, my dear! When they're sleeping in Ron's bed.... TOGETHER! Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaa*breath*aaaaaaaaa!
~*Villain*~
A/N: Okay, this chap's extremely crappy and boring at the start, but it gets really good and funny, I swear!! Thanx are at the end after my rambling author notes which I beg you to read!!
Chapter Three: Midget Tosser
Bill and Draco had arrived in an alleyway. After climbing out of a garbage can and picking bits of rotten fish off himself, Draco glared at the older boy. But his glare turned instantly into a grin as Bill rose out of a dumpster, a used condom hanging off his nose.
The Weasly had to cross his eyes to properly see the object which stuck to his face, smelling oddly. When it dawned on him that this was a muggle safe sex instrument, he squawked and flicked it away with his wand.
Unfortunately, he had flung it straight at Draco, whom it hit right in the face. Reeling backwards, the former Slytherin plopped back into the smelly garbage can. He pulled off the condom and gagged.
When they had finally made it out of the alleyway safely, Bill performed a quick spell that cleaned everything and left them smelling like mint. Then he pulled out list from his pocket and began to read off what was on it.
"Alright, we need to stop by the Leaky Cauldron and pick up some pig's wart. Then we need to-"
Charming, thought Draco, watching the tall red head reading the list. So far, Bill had been a pretty fair guy. Actually, over the years, Draco found his hatred for the poor family dwindling into a petty dislike of his school enemy, Ron. Mrs. Weasly was an enchanting woman and a master cook, and what Draco knew of Mr. Weasly was that he was a kind soul always bending over backwards to do good for others. Even if they were lowly muggles.
"Draco?" Bill tapped him on the shoulder, snapping him back into the real world. Draco gave him an easy smile and Bill smiled back. Any uneasiness between the two was fading quickly and was almost gone by the time they had gone through everything on the list.
They both had received quite a few looks from other wizards. Obviously, it was rather strange to see a Weasly and a Malfoy together and unharmed.
Bill sent the groceries back to his mother with a causal spell and turned back to the blonde.
"Want to go get some ice cream? Then afterwards we can just cruise awhile."
Cruise? Draco smirked, "Sure."
Sitting at an old rickety wire table outside a small ice cream shop, Bill discreetly studied his charge over a mound of rocky road. Draco noticed the red head's eyes on him, but didn't mind. He was used to being stared at, gawked at, ogled at, admired even. And Bill could look at him as long as he dang well pleased.
Purposefully getting a small spot of strawberry on his nose, Draco looked up at Bill. Instantly, the older boy rubbed his own nose. Draco ignored it.
"Draco?"
"Yes?"
"You have a bit of cream on your nose."
Draco wiped at it, completely missing. Bill pointed and he tried again, missing. Finally, wondering why in Merlin's name he was doing this, he asked Bill to get it for him.
Blushing ever so slightly, Bill leaned over the round table and wiped the ice cream off of Draco's nose. The blonde smiled, a little disappointed that it hadn't been licked off, and continued to eat.
Then he froze.
Wait a darn tootin' second! Was he, Draco Malfoy, *flirting*? Wanting Bill to LICK the ice cream off his nose? A WEASLY?? His eyes dropped and he mentally scolded himself.
Yeah, so what if he's nice to you? You can't go around flirting with every nice guy you meet. For Merlin's sakes, he SAVED you!! And here you are, flirting!
Finished with ice cream, the two wizards walked around until they came upon an expensive clothing store. Immediately feeling playful, Draco grabbed Bill's arm and tugged him inside.
"Ooh! We just have to go in here!!" He squealed and would've shot full speed into the store, had not Bill stopped him.
"What's gotten into you, Draco?" Bill wondered if these mood swings were normal. Maybe it was the ice cream.....
"Sugar. And you're being such a nice guy." Now why did I say that? How incredibly dwonky. God, now he thinks I'm some kind of ditzy boy toy.
Now, was that a bad thing?
Bill laughed, "Then we'll just have to keep you chocked full of that sweet stuff then, eh?"
Draco couldn't help but grin. He felt good with Bill. In fact, the whole time they had been together, he had not thought once of his father. And, if he could do anything about it, he would like very much to keep it that way. So he took Bill's hand tightly in his own, their fingers lacing together as if by habit, and pulled him through the store until they reached a section where they had full body mirrors and a young woman with a measuring tape around her neck.
"May I help you?" she asked, eyeing them appraisingly. But when she noticed their hands clasped together, she smile faded slightly.
Draco held back a giggle and looked around. He felt especially obnoxious today. And this girl looked like a right snob. He felt the Malfoy trait of heartless mischief shoot through his veins and grinned quite evilly. The girl's smile disappeared and she sighed inwardly.
God, not another one. And they're always blonde pretty boys! Yeesh.
She grudgingly motioned to the pedestal and Draco stifled a giggle, straightening his face. "That pedestal is rather high, don't you think?" And grimacing, the girl helped him up. Bill hid a smile behind his hand and sat down in one of the chairs.
Now *this*, was the Draco Malfoy he remembered.
~*~
Ron entered his bedroom and gasped. The bed had been slept in and a robe- lime green- lay discarded on the ground.
Malfoy!
He gagged, then noticed the picture of himself with Harry and Hermione slightly crooked on the night stand. He picked it up and sighed. Harry and Hermione would be there soon. Maybe all this wouldn't be so terribly, despicably, horribly, painfully..... bad with them around.
Or not. Draco Malfoy had slept in his bed. In nothing but a thick, full bodied robe on. Okay, so maybe just his feet and his head touch the sheets. But still! It was Malfoy. A slimy gittish Malfoy that he had to garden with.
With a groan, the slim teen fell back on the bed. Then he noticed a book sticking half way out of Malfoy's bag. Curious, he walked over and snatched it from the suitcase, reading the title.
"Evil is as Evil Does", by Attila the Hun.
Wowzers, deep stuff. He went downstairs, flopping into an easy chair, and began to read.
~*~
After about a half an hour, the poor girl looked about forty years older.
Draco was modeling a drop dead dress suit that fit his body perfectly. Even Bill was taken aback by the shape. It was a deep gray flecked with black and under it was a creamy white silk shirt part way up buttoned. Draco's hair hung down in his eyes, and the whole outfit gave him a type of dignified edge.
"Hmmm. I like this, Sue, dear. You've done good." He patted her head like a dog and jumped off of the pedestal. Sauntering into the changing rooms, he got out of the suit and Sue wrapped it up for sale. Luckily, Draco had some money in his pockets.
When they got outside, Bill started towards the Leaky Cauldron, only to be drug to a stop by a pouty young Malfoy. He gave the older boy a sweet innocent smile that made Bill's heart flutter, and said, "We're done *already*?"
Bill, not able to resist the charm of the younger boy, sighed and let himself be dragged down the cobblestone street. This boy is worse than Ginny! he thought to himself.
~*~
Ron looked up from the book and saw Bill and Malfoy waltz in through the front door, arms bulging with packages. They didn't see him, so he set down the book and sat back to watch. This was the moment of truth. He tensed, but they passed him without a glance. Not that they could look at him anyway, seeing as how they carried towers of boxes in their arms.
As Bill stumbled under the weight of the merchandise into the kitchen, Malfoy gliding in behind him with no trouble, Ron heard Mrs. Weasly greet them cheerily and levitate the packages upstairs to Ron's room. And the owner of that room was leaning so far over in his chair to see, that when his mother called for him, he toppled from his precariously balanced seat and onto the floor in an ungraceful heap, startled.
Flushed with embarrassment, he reluctantly slumped into the kitchen, eyes down, hands shoved into his pockets. Without looking up, he could *sense* Malfoy's smug smirk that he had grown so accustomed to over the years. He knew Bill was probably hiding a smile and his mother looking stern. So he raised his eyes.
They instantly locked with the cold steely eyes of Draco Malfoy. He froze and both boys regarded each other warily. Malfoy's eyes darted over Ron's figure as Ron himself slowly took in the sight of his enemy.
Well, they thought in unison, he's changed.
Malfoy had not grown taller, and still looked like a delicate silver nymph. The changes in him that *had* occurred were subtle, but noticeable enough. Like the ever so slight broadening of his graceful shoulders and the shrinking of his already slim waist. Ron's eyes again rose and met the piercing gaze of even colder eyes, which had turned a darker, stormier gray, framed by thick lashes and a small, delicately pointed face. His platinum blonde hair shone pure white in the dim yellow kitchen lights and Ron almost gasped at the permanent pout on his lucious lips.
Ron let his breath out slowly, measuredly, as he saw, with shy self consciousness, the silver eyes roam over him calculatingly, studying him down to the last tiny freckle and shaking detail. The air caught in his throat and his eyes slipped shut. I hate this, he hissed inwardly. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!
Weasly's grown even more, Draco noticed with slight envy. Not to mention he filled out somewhat in his gawky form. Finally. Though even as lanky as he was, Weasly always remained somehow smooth moving and light on his feet. His skin, dotted with endearing freckles, looked like snow speckled with flecks of bronze. Which only went to set off his blazing brown eyes that opened and burned into Draco's cool glare.
Bill and Mrs. Weasly had left silently as the boys sized each other up. But Mrs. Weasly had not forgotten to leave a reminder above their heads in sparkly pink letters.
"De-gnome the garden and don't kill each other!"
Ron glared at the message scornfully as Malfoy looked on impassively. With an angry huff, he slammed out of the kitchen and into the back garden, overrun with weeds of every shape, size, and color. Malfoy followed him lazily, rolling his eyes. Won't this be fun?
The second Ron's feet touched the long wispy blades of deep green grass, there was a loud sound of little tiny feet scurrying over the ground in a panic. Instinctually, Ron lunged onto one of the little moving masses that Draco had just noticed were there. Ron's long fingers clamped down on the struggling thing's feet and with one mighty swing, he launched the lumpy garden Gnome over the fence. He climbed to his feet and dusted off. The fiery red hair on his head stood up on end and he had taken on the look of a complete maniac.
Malfoy arched a well groomed eyebrow and snorted, unimpressed. Ron glared at him, face reddening. He did NOT need this right now.
Angrily, he stomped away from the slimy blonde git and grabbed another stumpy Gnome, who viciously flipped both boys off when sailing over the fence in mid air with both hands. Purely satisfied, Ron turned back to his unwilling companion.
Suddenly, Malfoy appeared right beside him, same emotionless look on his elegant face. Ron jumped slightly, eliciting a small chuckle from the playful upturned mouth, "I did nothing to rile you up, Weasel. You just need to control your childish temper." Ignoring Ron's livid sputtering, he continued smugly, "Let me show you how it is done."
With lighting quick speed, he whipped out his left hand and in the blink of an eye, held a lump of wriggling warty flesh tight in his grasp. Ron leapt away in surprise with a cry. Malfoy did not even bat an eyelash as he effortlessly tossed the small creature over the fence where it landed with a dull thud in the long grass of the field.
This boy was stronger than he looked.
Openmouthed, Ron watched as Malfoy wiped his hands on his pants and smirked. Then, narrowing his glittering eyes maliciously, he challenged, "Beat that, Weasel."
And so it began. With withering glares, both boys grimaced and shot like rockets around the garden, de-gnoming like they had never de-gnomed before! All dignity, shame, maturity, and sense fled them as their boyish school rivalry blew full swing over them.
An hour later found both of them dirt covered, mud spattered, sweat soaked, and still growling competitively, leaning back to back against each other, legs splayed out over the disturbed ground.
The garden was a wreck and no one had bothered to keep score. But heck, all the gnomes were gone! ^_____^
Needless to say, Mrs. Weasly wasn't too happy when she found them fifteen minutes after they had stopped, slumping back against each other, head resting comfortably on each other's shoulders in exhausted sleep.
But she couldn't bring herself to yell at them. This was probably the only time they would stand to be near each other- touching each other- peacefully. Why not let them stay that way. So, smiling warmly and shaking her head, she went back inside, muttering a spell under her breath. Silently, both boys rose into the air, still in the same position and floated into the house, up the stairs, and into Ron's room and under the covers of his bed.
And there they slept for well over three hours until they woke up and screamed bloody murder at being in bed in each other's arms.
Heh heh heh.
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Malfoy!"
"What the bloody hell do I think *I'm* doing? What about you!"
"This is my bed! Bugger!"
"I can see that perfectly fine, you ungodly lump of worthless skin!"
"Tosser!"
"Wanker!"
"Git!"
"Prat!"
"Weasel!"
"Ferret!"
"Carrot head!"
"Feminine boy!"
Now, do you think they noticed that they still had their arms around each other? No.
"Potty's invisible sidekick!"
"Midget!!"
All sound had come to a sudden and shocking stop. Malfoy had froze. Ron looked a touch triumphant, which faded as Malfoy's face contorted into something horrid and wrong.
"I AM NOT A BLOODY MIDGET YOU WEIRD GIANT........ THINGAMABOB!!" Draco leapt on top of Ron, pinning the taller boy under him and flailing his fists wildly. Ron caught a hand in his mouth and bit down. Draco yowled like wounded cat and spit in Ron's eye. Blinded, Ron flipped Draco over and both boys went pitching over the side of the bed and onto the floor in an ungainly heap of thrashing arms and legs.
Bill, Mrs. Weasly, and Mr. Weasly walked in and froze on the spot. Then, rolling her eyes in exasperation, Mrs. Weasly threw up her arms in defeat and marched out of the room. Mr. Weasly scratched his head thoughtfully and shrugged, "This is all yours, Bill. Have fun." And he left after his wife.
The oldest Weasly crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow critically. Boys will be boys, he reasoned. Then, he peeled a raging midget Malfoy off of his brother and held them apart with his hands. At first, they fought him, snarling and foaming at the mouth, but gradually calmed down. He let them go and Malfoy sniffed his bloodied nose and with the last of his remaining dignity, brushed himself off with a small hand and gave Ron an icy glare. The second to youngest Weasly glared right back, itching to get his hands around that slender throat.....
"Come on you guys! Act reasonably! You're going to be practically brothers for a while, so I suggest you get used to each other," he said, fixing them with a stern look. "Or I'll have to go to extremes."
Draco snorted, still glowering darkly at his taller opponent. Ron sneered right back. Bill sighed, "I'm sorry guys, but I see this isn't going anywhere. Damn, I really didn't want to have to do this." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at them. Then he muttered something unintelligible and the two boys snapped together like magnets. Their mouths fell open and their eyes widened up at Bill. Frantically, they tried to pull themselves apart, but with no luck.
They were stuck fast.
Satisfied, Bill gave them a last sorrowful look and walked out of the room. The boys gawked at the space he had just vacated with complete disbelief written all over their faces.
"This is NOT happening," Ron moaned. "This is inhuman!"
Without looking at him, Draco groaned, "Weasly, I have to go to the bathroom."
~~~~~~~~
A/N: *snerk!* I completely understand Draccie's pain!! I'm only five foot one and fourteen years old! Half of the damned six graders tower over me. *pouts* Eeyashka.
Anyway, those two, I tell ya. That's just too rich! Hahahahahahaha! Lalalalalalala! Review, review, review! And more will come I assure you! Oh yeah, and don't forget to tell your friends, too! Eep!
THANX TO MamaLaz: I don't know, love, I may be all the crueler for having them meet! *cackles evilly* Lady Victoria: Oh, milady, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying yourself! Kal: Yup, it surely will be! Promise. LillianaNoelia: *squeals* Oh, you know I just cannot resist pleading eyes! Oy! Thank you ever so much, doll! fangrlwlotsofideas: Oy, I know, I'm such a slow poke! Eep! Kimagure: Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!! Belldandy: Heeeerrreee yooouuu ggggooooo, ddeeaarreesstt! Pandora's Aquarium: *eyes grow huge* I love your stories!! OMG! EEEEEE! Anyhoosies- I'm honored, truly! Thank you! Spoop: *hangs head* geez, that's why I failed spelling! ^_^ snow-fox: *falls overwhelmed out of chair* Oy vey! What manners! ^_^ Hope you liked! Lothlorien: Oh, but it can get better, my dear! When they're sleeping in Ron's bed.... TOGETHER! Bwahahahahaaaaaaaaaa*breath*aaaaaaaaa!
~*Villain*~