I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. These words seemed so inadiquate for the deapth of sorrow I feel. But they are all I can manage to form. You look at me and smile. "It's okay. I understand." I want to scream! Hoow can you understand! I don't understand it!
But you just run your hand through my hair and turn back to watching him. The blond boy runs happily. You smile and it hurts me to see it. Why did you never smile like that about me? Logicaly I know that you didn't know me at that age. And I know that once we overcame our issues you did often smile at me like that. You still do now that I think on it. But the childs hurt and insecurities still linger. Maybe that's why I did it. You always wanted him more. You missed him. And as much as you said there was no one you loved more I knew it wasn't true. I could see it in your eyes. Every year at the same time. I wish you would have talked to me. I could have helped! But you didn't. You buried it just like you do everything.
Force, Master! Sometimes you seem so cold! Even know after everything that has happend you seem distant. I know you love me. But I get the feeling it might never be enought. And as I think that you turn. "Come Ani. I think that Luke will be fine. You and I need to spend sometime together. Tell me have you seem Amidala?" And like that I knew I was wrong. You do love me. I was just to blind to see it. You are walking away. "Ani?" I look at him. "Just a sec." You smile and nod. And send my last message. Thank you Luke for giving me this chance with Obi-wan. Then I turn back to you and we walk away. You sling an arm around my shoulder and I think that I might burst with joy.
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That's yet another plot bunny. Hope you keep enjoying them!
~Meri