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"Captain's Log, December. 13. It's been about four days since Enterprise first came into contact with the Polak. They've been very gracious hosts, allowing the crew some well deserved shore leave. Trip tells me the night clubs down there are great. I was thinking I might go if I can ever find the time. I also hear that Malcolm and Travis have been doing some exploring. They're both very capable men, so I'm not too worried. T'Pol has decided to remain on board the ship, and Hoshi... Well, I hear she made some nice friends down there who she's been spending a lot of time with."

The Captain sighed as he pushed the pause button on the glowing screen he'd been talking to for the past few minutes. He tossed the water polo ball he'd been playing with next to Porthos, and fell lightly onto his bed. After days of negotiations, he still wasn't even close to signing an agreement with the Polak Government for the plasma Enterprise needed so badly. He'd tried to avoid the thought that maybe he wouldn't be so successful in his efforts, by keeping tabs on his officers down on the planet. Each one of them was heard to be having the time of their lives.

"So why am I so miserable?" he huffed in annoyance," Doesn't the captain deserve a little r n' r every now and then too?"

Jon began rubbing his face in frustration when he heard the door chime ring. "Come in."

"Captain, there's... Are you all right sir?" a curious T'Pol raised an eyebrow at the sight of her commanding officer peeking at her through two of his fingers.

"Fine, thanks," he replied sitting up," What's going on?"

"We have a problem on the surface that requires your presence sir. It involves one of our crewmen."

**********************

Twenty minutes earlier...

"And this is the alter where the sacred shroud of Lenevia was placed thousands of years ago, to mark the anniversary of our confederation," Ghala smiled happily at Ensign Sato.

"That's amazing," she replied in awe as she stared at the top of the small stone staircase. Her friends had decided that this small, worn down building on the outskirts of the city would be a perfect way to end the tour they had so kindly bestowed upon her. "Your people have such a rich and colourful history."

"Thank you Hoshi. It is not every day we meet an alien that shows such interest in our culture and religion. Being a Nyst like Ghala and myself is not one of the easiest jobs on our planet. We are often ridiculed because of the enormous amount of faith we place in our God and his creations."

"We have people like that back on Earth as well. We call them priests. They preach the word of God to his believers."

"You have an all mighty God also Hoshi?" inquired Khrasus.

"Sort of... There are many different religions on my world. You usually believe in the one you were raised to believe in, although people can convert to whichever faith they choose. Some believe in one God, and others believe in many."

"Amazing," Ghala breathed," Do your religions have Chenti's?"

"Chenti's?"

"Yes, a religious ceremony where you offer your God a living sacrifice to show him how much he means to you."

"Some can, but most of them don't anymore. Harming sentient beings is something that humans have learned they can live without. We've also managed to cure diseases and world hunger just by working together."

Khrasus smiled politely as he held an arm out under his robe, gesturing for Hoshi to have a seat at the bottom of the staircase. It often amazed her the lengths some people would go just to be hospitable. She'd first met Ghala and Khrasus when she accidentally stumbled into a church, something she later found out was a very sacred place to these people; a place where outsiders weren't welcome.

Ghala was the first to befriend the young ensign as the council decided whether or not Hoshi should be punished. Being the only female Nyst, Hoshi assumed that she must have been very glad to see another woman. From what she knew, no Nyst was allowed to leave the church until their training was complete; training that could last up to three or four years.

"Don't be frightened stranger. The council is always fair. My friend Khrasus and I will vote to keep you silenced by right of Pomera. It is an oath you must take to give yourself to the church, and not reveal to anyone what you've seen here this day."

Hoshi smiled as she remembered the kind words Ghala had spoken to her. She was right; the council had forced her to take an oath never to speak of the incident again. She could only imagine the look on Captain Archer's face if she had committed a political incident that caused Enterprise to lose its chance at obtaining that warp plasma.

"Tell me Hoshi," Khrasus' voice brought her back to the present," Why do you take such an interest in our beliefs?"

"I don't know... I'm just curious I guess. Isn't curiosity something found in every society?"

"You are right of course. I am very curious about certain issues. I often wonder what will happen to my spirit when I leave this place forever."

"Life after death," Hoshi mused.

"Yes. Ghala and I pray to be rewarded with love and prosperity after we pass. What do you pray for?"

"Actually, I like to think that... Wait a second. Where did Ghala go off to?" she asked, suddenly standing up and walking around to the other side of the staircase.

"To prepare of course."

Hoshi spun around. "Prepare for what?"

"For the Chenti Hoshi. What else?"

"The offering ceremony? Why didn't you tell me about this? I would've left so I wouldn't intrude."

Khrasus laughed. "Don't be silly. We want you to stay."

"You do?"

"Of course. An 'offering ceremony' as you put it, wouldn't be much of a ceremony without an offering."

Hoshi's heart leapt into her throat. "What are you talking about?"

"I would have thought you understood by now. We have, after all been explaining to you our religious ways for a long while now. You took the oath of Pomera. You gave yourself to our church. It was a perfectly understandable sign from God Hoshi. You are so innocent! We must offer you to him in penance for any sins we may have committed."

"Listen Khrasus," she laughed nervously," I don't know what you think is going to happen here, but I for one am not ready to leave my place in life just yet." She reached into her uniform and quickly pulled out her communicator. "Sato to Enterprise. Enterprise, please respond."

"Your device will not work in any of our sacred buildings Hoshi. We have dampening fields erected around anything remotely sacred to prevent them from being stolen or removed by... unconventional means."

"No one will ever even know I'm in here," she whispered to herself, as she backed away from Khrasus. He had began moving toward her; a gesture she didn't appreciate.

"No, they won't I'm afraid," a voice came from behind her.

She paused, looking back to see Ghala and other members of the church standing next to the exit. "Ghala, you said I wouldn't be harmed... You said the oath I took was just so I wouldn't tell anyone what I saw!"

"You will not be harmed Hoshi... if you cooperate with us. You will simply transcend into a higher plain of existence. In fact, you should be thankful. Not everyone is as innocent as you. I am sure that God will welcome you into his graces. Please put this on," she smiled as she handed the communications officer a long white dress, much like the one she herself was wearing.

"What's this?"

"You must wear it. Every female Nyst must wear a Janta gown at Chenti's."

"I'm not putting this on!" she shouted in disgust. Throwing the dress on the ground, Hoshi quickly scanned the room for any possible escape routes. Maybe if she could surprise them enough, she could slip past the group of men standing behind Ghala.

"You are not making this easy Hoshi," Khrasus stated from behind," Do not make us use force."

"I am not putting that stupid dress on for some... ridiculous ceremony!"

Hoshi felt her breath become short and uneven as she watched three of the five men standing near the door make their way in her direction. She tried to run, but was easily caught.

"Place her on the alter and hold her down," she heard Khrasus order.

The men did as they were told, dragging Hoshi up the stairs and placing her on the alter. She watched in horror as Ghala and Khrasus both made their way to where she was being held.

Ghala handed them the dress. "Place this on her and then make sure she doesn't move."

"You don't have to do this," Hoshi pleaded," There are so many other ways to show your God that you love him! Have a gathering, build a temple, anything but this! Please! I don't want to die..."

"Shhh," Khrasus bent down next to her tear stained face, stroking it softly," Do not worry Hoshi. You are the lucky one, not us. You will soon be in God's hands. Be grateful."

"No!!" she screamed as she struggled to get free. There had to be a way out of this! Her chance came when she realized that one of the men had briefly let go of her foot. She kicked him as hard as she could, sending him falling backward down the stairs. If there was ever a time to remember the karate lessons her grandfather had taught her when she was a girl, it was now. Swinging her only free limb, she managed to kick away the man who was pinning down her other leg.

"Stop her before she ruins everything!!" Khrasus shouted.

Flipping herself up, she somehow managed to slam the heads of the other two men into each other. She hastily climbed off the alter and started to make her way to the exit.

"No!!!" a voice screamed.

Hoshi's eyes widened at the site of Ghala running towards her with a dagger. "Stop!"

Everything became a blur as the two women collided. They both paused, looking into each others eyes as they finally realized what had happened. Glancing down, her worst fears had been confirmed. Before Ghala had managed to stab her, Hoshi twisted her hand backward to avoid the blow.

"Ghala..." her shaky voice whispered," I'm so sorry..."

A tiny laugh came from the other side of the room, slowly growing louder as the seconds passed. The limp and bloody body of her once dear friend fell to the ground.

"Shut up!" she screamed as her tear soaked eyes fell upon the cause of the evil laughter. Blood soaked her uniform and covered her hands.

"You did it Hoshi! Not exactly what I had planned, but it was good enough! Ghala may not have been as innocent as you, but she was innocent enough!" He walked over to where the fragile ensign was crying over the body of the person she had just murdered. "Thank you," he said quietly before walking out the door.

Screams echoed through the old building as Hoshi shook the body that lay in her lap. The once white gown had now been stained red with blood.

"What's going on in here?" an elderly man appeared in the door way," Oh my goodness... You're one of those alien freaks aren't you?! I knew you people had no place on this planet! Look what you've done! Help! Somebody help!"

**********************

Jon quickly jumped out of the shuttle pod that had just landed in the middle of the open field. He glanced around and saw a tiny commotion of people to his left. T'Pol had told him there was some sort of incident involving one of his crew, and he intended to find out what was going on as fast as possible. Making his way towards the building, he vaguely spotted Trip and Malcolm leaning against a wall.

"Cap'n!" Trip exclaimed as he watched his heavily breathing friend approach.

"What happened? What are you doing out here?"

"They wouldn't let us inside."

"Are you two all right?"

"We're fine sir," Malcolm replied.

"And Travis?"

"He's okay too."

"What about Hoshi?"

Both officers paused a moment, instinctively lowering their eyes to the ground. The look on their faces said everything. 'Something terrible must have happened... Oh my God,' thoughts rushed through the normally cool and collected Captain's brain.

Rushing past his two officers, Jon made a break for the door. He opened it with ease and rushed inside. What he saw was not pleasant. There were three armed aliens, accompanied by a man of obvious importance; a foreign affairs minister or something like that he figured. Walking passed them, his eyes fell upon the cause of his sudden concern. His communications officer was hunched over on the floor, crying next to the body of a dead alien woman.

"Hoshi," he breathed as he rushed over to where she was sitting. He bent down to meet her eye level. "What happened?"

A loud whimper escaped her mouth as she suddenly lunged towards him, enveloping him in a somewhat awkward hug. He could feel her hot tears against the side of his neck.

"What happened?" he repeated, taking in the sight of the body on the floor next to them.

"I did it Captain," she cried," I killed her... She was my friend, and I killed her."

"What? No... I know you Hoshi, you would never do something like that."

"But I did... I stabbed her right in the stomach and watched as she faded away in my arms. I did it..." her whispered voice replied. She held out her hands for him to examine. They were drenched in thick red blood; blood that he now noticed was covering most of her uniform.

"Listen, it's going to be all right, okay?" he reassured her as he pulled her in for a hug," Everything's going to turn out fine. We'll leave orbit after we get this mess sorted out, and then everything can go back to the way it was."

"No," she pulled away suddenly," Don't you get it? Things can never go back to being the same! Jon, I took someone's life! A living, breathing being... How can I ever forgive myself for that?"

"Hoshi, I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but we'll get through this... together."

He watched painfully as she tried to nod in agreement, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. In all the years he had known her, he would never have thought he'd live to see a day like this. Taking her arm, he gently pulled her in as she began to brake down once again. He began to rock her slowly in his arms, unaware as the soldiers from the other side of the room swiftly made their way towards them.

**********************

Hoshi awoke in a cold sweat. She reached over to her nightstand and grabbed the glass of water which she had placed there before she went to bed.

A bad dream. It was all just a bad dream; it had to be! Placing her feet on the cold floor, the reality hit her hard. It was no dream. It actually happened. She had murdered that woman, her friend, in cold blood.

She was lucky though. Once the truth came out about what almost happened in that church, Captain Archer managed to convince the senate that Hoshi had only acted in self defence; that she was just trying to survive. Half of her knew that that was the truth, but the other half would never let her believe it. She could have found another way, any other way of escaping couldn't she? Endless scenarios replayed in her mind as she revisited the day that changed her life forever.

What if she had just said no to that tour? What if she had never stumbled upon that church or took that oath? What if she had been the one to die?

She sighed in disgust as she fell back onto her bed. Living through these nightmares every night were almost as bad as facing the fact that she could never escape them.

'I need to get out of here; take a walk or something,' she thought miserably. Maybe there was a way to get past all this. Maybe there was a way to end her pain and suffering once and for all.

**********************

"Running around and kicking the shins... slipping past the door before anyone realizes... No no. Waiting till the last second... running down the other side and sideswiping- No no no!" he heard a whispered voice echoing from somewhere in the darkness of the newly constructed astronomy lab. Squinting his eyes, Jon could just make out the form of a short woman against the giant star chart in the background. He extended his arm and pushed a button next to the door, allowing light to flood the room.

"Hoshi? What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing," she whispered, still facing away from him," Go away."

"Not until you tell me what's going on. How are you doing?"

"Oh, just peachy, thanks for asking."

"Listen, I know this must still be hard for you-"

"Hard?!" she spun around," You have no idea."

Jon took a deep breath as he spied the shiny dagger his friend was twirling dangerously in her hands. "What are you doing with that?"

"What? This silly old thing? Actually, I haven't really decided yet."

"Hoshi... Give me the knife."

"Why? Are you afraid I'm going to stab you with it? I don't blame you Captain."

"That's not why-"

"Have you ever stabbed anyone before Jon? Have you ever felt the blade break through a person's skin, causing the carefully coursing blood inside to come spilling out?" she paused, "No, I didn't think so."

"Listen here ensign. I can only imagine what you must be going through, but I have had enough of you hiding away in your quarters like you're unfit for human contact. I have had more than enough of this lousy attitude of yours, and I want it to stop. Now. This is going to be a long journey and I'm going to need my comm. officer at her best."

"Well in that case, yes sir! Don't be stupid Jon. You can't just order me to turn off my feelings."

"You've changed," he shook his head sadly.

"Yeah, well that's kind of a given now, isn't it? I'm not the sweet, innocent little ensign you coerced into coming aboard all those months ago. I took a life... that's something that takes more than a few weeks to get over."

"I don't think you're ever supposed to really get over it Hoshi," he stated calmly as he began to move over to where she was standing," You can't begin to heal until you accept what you've done."

"I know what I've done Jon. You don't have to remind me. I murdered. I killed someone. I accept that."

"Do you really? Why can't you see that what you did was a must? You would have been killed had it not been for your fast thinking. Hell, I would've done the same thing! It's called self-defence. It was either her or you. You made the right choice."

"Then why do I feel so guilty?" she whispered.

Jon slowly made his way next to the young ensign. "Because it's the only natural feeling there is in a situation like this. Hoshi, down on that planet... I promised you we'd get through this together. You have to trust me. Please, let us... let me be here for you."

"I wish... I wish we had never stopped at that planet. I wish none of this had ever happened," she began to cry.

Taking the dagger from her hand and placing it lightly on the floor, Jon lovingly wrapped his arms around his friend. "Me too," he whispered.

Muffled sobs enveloped the room. "I'm sorry," she whimpered as she slowly fell to the floor," I'm so sorry..."

**********************

"Captain's log, January .15. T'Pol tells me that the Vulcan High Command wants Enterprise to negotiate a treaty with the Rotan for a small chain of moons orbiting one of the planets in their solar system. Although it sounds like fun, I've sadly had to inform them that we're still currently in the process of searching for new plasma. Trip tells me that his reserves are quickly running out, so we've set a course for an asteroid belt about a light year from our current position.

I'm also happy to report that Ensign Sato has returned to duty. After what happened on the Polak home world, you have to give her a lot of credit for coming to grips with what happened. It was touch and go there for awhile, but I think she's finally beginning to forgive herself for what happened. She's a very brave woman.

End log."

A sudden tug of his blanket caught Jon's attention. "Porthos, up," he commanded. He smiled happily as the tiny beagle jumped next to his owner. A puzzled look suddenly etched his companions face when a loud beeping noise became evident.

"Come in," Jon shouted.

The door to his quarters slid open to reveal a smiling Hoshi holding a data PADD. "I have the crew roster for the plasma extract sir."

"Thank you Hoshi," he replied, taking it from her hand.

"Also... There's something I have to tell you."

"Oh? About what?"

Walking over to the bed where her Captain was sitting, Hoshi quickly settled in next to him.

"I know it wasn't easy, doing what you did for me. You helped through a really tough time sir, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. Really."

"It was no problem. Besides, what are friends for?" he smiled.

"Friends..." she absently repeated.

"Of course. What else would we be?"

Hoshi paused, catching Jon's gaze in the process. "Nothing of course. Just friends. Anyway, I better be going."

She hastily stood up only to find a hand holding her back. "Wait."

"Yes?" she asked eagerly.

"Are you sure that's all you wanted to tell me? Nothing else?"

She shook her head. "No sir. Nothing else."

"All right then. I'll see you later?"

"Sure," Hoshi replied as she stepped into the corridor, allowing the door to slide shut behind her. 'Friends,' she thought,' You're one hell of a friend Jonathan Archer. I hope you know that.'