Chapter/Episode 5
Seymour Eats Pavement!
The scene opens in the coffee house.
Tidus: Can I see my dad yet?
Auron: Soon Tidus soon. He is closer then you may think.
Jecht puts his hands over Tidus's eyes.
Jecht: Guess who!
Tidus: Wakka!
Jecht: no!
Tidus: Ohh its you Dad!
Jecht: Yeah boy!
Jecht: You grew tall, but you're all bones. You eatin' right boy?
Tidus: Your still bigger Dad.
Jecht: I am Sin after all haha.
Tidus: That's not funny.
Auron: Your not sin either Jecht!
Jecht: Ohh yeah this is a fic in the REAL world. Not Spira.
Outside you see Shiva and Ifrut go by, and a giant airship.
Tidus: So anyway Dad where have you been?
Jecht: In Canada, I got some bad news son.
Tidus: What is it? Is Yuna pregnant?
Jecht: You don't have the manpower to do that.
Jecht: Your Canadian Tidus!
Auron gasps in horror.
Jecht: I'm Canadian to!
Auron: Ohh god is there a cure yet?
Tidus: I'm not Canadian! I don't like hockey!
Jecht: Amazingly you don't have to like hockey to be Canadian!
Tidus: What a plot twist? Ehh!
Jecht slaps Tidus
Jecht: I know its hard, but don't say ehh!
Tidus: Okay Dad.
Jecht: So what are you guys doing today?
Auron: I'm going to watch TV.
Tidus: What do you want to do Dad?
Jecht: I don't know. "Hang" in your crib hommie.
Tidus: Only people who aren't hip say that know!
Jecht: Anyway lets go
Jecht and Tidus walk outside.
Kamirhi: Hello Tidus!
Tidus: Hey I'm Canadian!
Kamirhi: No way me to!
The 3 Canadians go shopping!
Tidus: I need some Canadian clothes!
Jecht: Umm we don't really wear anything-different Tidus.
Tidus: Is that so?
Jecht: yeah
Tidus: I hate you dad!
Jecht: I hate you to son.
The 2 walk out, leaving Kamirhi.
Rikku: Yunie! Seymour is on TV!
Yuna: Ohh so he is.
Seymour: I will jump I tell you!
Yuna: Sounds like Seymour.
Rikku: Shouldn't you get down there?
Yuna: Sure why not. That's Auron's office.
Tidus: Where to next dad?
Jecht: Lets go see Auron.
Suddenly everyone appears in Auron's office.
Auron: hey everyone!
Yuna: You do realize there is a jumper on your roof.
Auron: We call them Mondays!
Yuna: Its Seymour
Auron: I can't say I'm surprised. After you left him he was a wreak! And when his evil plan failed I guess this was the way out.
Yuna: We have to save his life!
Jecht: Who is Seymour?
Tidus: Yuna's ex.
Jecht: Next question who Is Yuna?
Wakka: I believe its whom ya?
Jecht: Shut up you extra!
Yuna runs up to the roof.
Yuna: Seymour doesn't jump!
Seymour: Yuna!
The two run a hug like in the romance movies.
Seymour: I love you! Lets get married!
Yuna: No way (Yuna punches him lightly)
Seymour: No!
Seymour slips off the building and falls.
Tidus: There's a mess no one wants to clean up!
-----Later at the apartment ------
Yuna: I can't believe I killed someone.
Auron: I've killed hundreds of people don't worry! After about a decade of drinkin' you cant remember who you killed!
Wakka: Again its whom ya?
Jecht: Does anyone really like this guy at all?
Everyone: Nope!
Wakka: I know when I'm not wanted.
Auron: No you don't! Your still here!
Yuna: I wonder if Seymour will be missed?
Auron: His family was turned into Aeons, and he double-crossed all of his friends! No one likes him!
Jecht: Maybe Yuna did us a favor. Bye everyone I'm going drinkin'.
Tidus: You said you quit.
Jecht: Who said I didn't, I quit for a day. I didn't say how long!
Tidus tries to drag Jecht back in, but Jecht throws him across the room.
Jecht: Anyone else commin?
Yuna: I could use a drink.
Jecht: Fine no one. Wait Auron you're a heavy drinker!
Auron: Sure why not. The two leave
Wakka: I'm going to go home.
Yuna: There's a 1st time for everything Wakka!
Everyone leaves except Tidus and Yuna.
Tidus: Man if my dad quit drinkin he would be a wuss, like all recovering alcoholics!
Yuna: Tidus! What have I told you about stereotyping!
Tidus: Sorry.
The End
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The scene opens in the coffee house.
Tidus: Can I see my dad yet?
Auron: Soon Tidus soon. He is closer then you may think.
Jecht puts his hands over Tidus's eyes.
Jecht: Guess who!
Tidus: Wakka!
Jecht: no!
Tidus: Ohh its you Dad!
Jecht: Yeah boy!
Jecht: You grew tall, but you're all bones. You eatin' right boy?
Tidus: Your still bigger Dad.
Jecht: I am Sin after all haha.
Tidus: That's not funny.
Auron: Your not sin either Jecht!
Jecht: Ohh yeah this is a fic in the REAL world. Not Spira.
Outside you see Shiva and Ifrut go by, and a giant airship.
Tidus: So anyway Dad where have you been?
Jecht: In Canada, I got some bad news son.
Tidus: What is it? Is Yuna pregnant?
Jecht: You don't have the manpower to do that.
Jecht: Your Canadian Tidus!
Auron gasps in horror.
Jecht: I'm Canadian to!
Auron: Ohh god is there a cure yet?
Tidus: I'm not Canadian! I don't like hockey!
Jecht: Amazingly you don't have to like hockey to be Canadian!
Tidus: What a plot twist? Ehh!
Jecht slaps Tidus
Jecht: I know its hard, but don't say ehh!
Tidus: Okay Dad.
Jecht: So what are you guys doing today?
Auron: I'm going to watch TV.
Tidus: What do you want to do Dad?
Jecht: I don't know. "Hang" in your crib hommie.
Tidus: Only people who aren't hip say that know!
Jecht: Anyway lets go
Jecht and Tidus walk outside.
Kamirhi: Hello Tidus!
Tidus: Hey I'm Canadian!
Kamirhi: No way me to!
The 3 Canadians go shopping!
Tidus: I need some Canadian clothes!
Jecht: Umm we don't really wear anything-different Tidus.
Tidus: Is that so?
Jecht: yeah
Tidus: I hate you dad!
Jecht: I hate you to son.
The 2 walk out, leaving Kamirhi.
Rikku: Yunie! Seymour is on TV!
Yuna: Ohh so he is.
Seymour: I will jump I tell you!
Yuna: Sounds like Seymour.
Rikku: Shouldn't you get down there?
Yuna: Sure why not. That's Auron's office.
Tidus: Where to next dad?
Jecht: Lets go see Auron.
Suddenly everyone appears in Auron's office.
Auron: hey everyone!
Yuna: You do realize there is a jumper on your roof.
Auron: We call them Mondays!
Yuna: Its Seymour
Auron: I can't say I'm surprised. After you left him he was a wreak! And when his evil plan failed I guess this was the way out.
Yuna: We have to save his life!
Jecht: Who is Seymour?
Tidus: Yuna's ex.
Jecht: Next question who Is Yuna?
Wakka: I believe its whom ya?
Jecht: Shut up you extra!
Yuna runs up to the roof.
Yuna: Seymour doesn't jump!
Seymour: Yuna!
The two run a hug like in the romance movies.
Seymour: I love you! Lets get married!
Yuna: No way (Yuna punches him lightly)
Seymour: No!
Seymour slips off the building and falls.
Tidus: There's a mess no one wants to clean up!
-----Later at the apartment ------
Yuna: I can't believe I killed someone.
Auron: I've killed hundreds of people don't worry! After about a decade of drinkin' you cant remember who you killed!
Wakka: Again its whom ya?
Jecht: Does anyone really like this guy at all?
Everyone: Nope!
Wakka: I know when I'm not wanted.
Auron: No you don't! Your still here!
Yuna: I wonder if Seymour will be missed?
Auron: His family was turned into Aeons, and he double-crossed all of his friends! No one likes him!
Jecht: Maybe Yuna did us a favor. Bye everyone I'm going drinkin'.
Tidus: You said you quit.
Jecht: Who said I didn't, I quit for a day. I didn't say how long!
Tidus tries to drag Jecht back in, but Jecht throws him across the room.
Jecht: Anyone else commin?
Yuna: I could use a drink.
Jecht: Fine no one. Wait Auron you're a heavy drinker!
Auron: Sure why not. The two leave
Wakka: I'm going to go home.
Yuna: There's a 1st time for everything Wakka!
Everyone leaves except Tidus and Yuna.
Tidus: Man if my dad quit drinkin he would be a wuss, like all recovering alcoholics!
Yuna: Tidus! What have I told you about stereotyping!
Tidus: Sorry.
The End
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