Thoughts of a Soldier



Disclaimer: I don't own the GW boys but I want to!! They are just so sexy!!

Anyway I got the idea for this fic after two girl cosplayers dressed as Heero and Duo kissed and I mean Kissed at Yaoi-con last weekend. I know it is a strange place for inspiration but it came. Please Review and tell me if it is any good ^_^

Thank you to Dee-chan my RP Goddess and Sky-chan the Writing Demi-Goddess for helping me with the title! I couldn't have done it with out your help!! ::glomps::

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I went into this thing a soldier without feelings, an emotionless project created for the soul purpose of destroying anything that stood in my way. Coming out of all this, I don't know what I am. I have been changed by someone I thought was the bain of my existence. I take that back, I never thought of him as a pain. If anything when we first met I was speechless, at this beautiful creature that was trying to shoot me. People always seem to wonder why I didn't shoot him, it was because I didn't want the world to be without anyone this inciting and exquisite.

After that I never thought I'd see him again. I tried to forget about him but he kept showing up and I kept loosing my heart to him every time. But I couldn't let him see it. Then there was that bitch that just wouldn't let me alone, always hanging on me. She couldn't catch the clue that I couldn't stand her. She thought because we danced that once that we were engaged. I guess she just had to much wishful thinking to even see that I wasn't interested.

But the one who softened my heart hasn't known it. How could I say anything with all the hurt and war going on and forget the mission. Always with the damn mission. I think I used it as an excuse to ignore the feelings he could arouse with just his presence. And that braid, could anything be more sexy. The want to just take it down and run my hand through his chestnut locks became overwhelming at times.

But can I change? Become a person with emotions and capable of love? I want to be for him. To be near him, to hold him in his hours of need, to kiss those beautiful lips I have wanted to kiss for so long. . .to be his. To see his face in sadness, happiness, . . in passion. The need to tell him grows and grows every time we meet, but every time I try to tell him something inside stops me freezing my heart again. Then there is him and how he feels. I can't tell him to like me, order him to feel things about me. I wonder how he feels though. If he thinks about me like I do about him. But then again it is all wishful thinking. He couldn't love me though, I have treated him so harsh for so long. How can he love someone how has done that to him?

Love is a strange thing. It takes your feelings and turns them inside out and upside down. It confuses you to no end, that s what it did to me. One minute I hated him the next I loved him. Love does strange things, even make me fall in love with Duo Maxwell.

the end ?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all have to review and tell me if it was any good and if you guys wanted to see a sequel or something. Thanks!

Ja ne.

Sukino