What The Ladies Want
Disclaimer: MWHAHAHA! I have returned with the second chapter! I do not own Escaflowne or Van's ass lines.
Note: Actually, I thought Dilandau had the BEST ASS OF THEM ALL! This is just poking fun of the drawings on Van's ass.
This is for my friend, Holly! ^_^
CHAPTER TWO
5 YEARS LATER. . .
Folken was staring in the mirror, combing his mullet. He had once again shoved down the anger. He knew the anger all too well. Van, his 10 year old brother, and his stupid Ass Lines.
I should have gotten them. He snapped to himself, combing harder, making sure his mullet looked all pretty.
He could hear Van being surrounded by all the other twenty year old women.
The women who are SUPPOSE to be falling over ME. He hissed in his brain.
He had put up for this for way to long. No matter. Soon the oracle would chose who to pick to be king and no doubt it would be him.
It had to be.
1 WEEK LATER
Everyone sat in the seats. Van and Folken were crouching down in front of the oracle, waiting for it to pick the best king. Van was naked of course, he always was. Folken tried to relax, but all the girls wouldn't shut up about how cute Van's ass lines were.
Morons. All of them! He thought to himself when the oracle spoke.
The "Oracle Reader" some old dude who could understand what the oracle could say, nodded and turned to the crowd.
"The new king of Adom is. . .VAN!"
Everyone cheered and Van was soon swamped with people. Folken felt more anger than ever before. He stood up and marched to his bedroom.
It was time for Adom to burn.
3 YEARS LATER *We sure skip time, don't we?!*
ON EARTH. . .
A young schoolgirl with brownish hair was running around, giggling with her other friend.Then she stopped quickly.
"Hitomi?" asked the girl, "Is something wrong?"
"Can you hear it?"
"Hear what?"
"The Ass Lines calling me. . .?" Hitomi whispered.
The other girl sighed, "Geez, Hitomi, did you smoke up in the bathroom again?"
Hitomi's eyes slanted, "Um . . .No, Yukari."
The girl, now known as Yukari, sighed, "Yes you did. Now you're hearing voices!"
"Sorry!" Hitomi shook her head, "Hey, I'm starved. Let's go eat."
"Muuunchies. . ." Yukari taunted and they ran off giggling, Hitomi harder than Yukari.
ON GAEA
Van ran quickly from Adom. It was set on fire, all burning to the ground. Van fell to the ground, naked.
"Adom . . .brother, why? Why did you burn it?!" He cried to no one.
He had seen Folken there . . .And the author just remembered his name was "Dune" not "Folken" but whatever! Folken had set the village of Adom to the ground.
Van stood up and raised his hands up high, "I VAN WILL KILL MY BROTHER FOR I AM THE SECRET CARRIER OF ASSFLOWNE!"
Oh god, how did I come up with THAT?
Folken looked straight ahead at the singing girl.
"Sora, has the Ass Goddess fallen yet?"
Sora shook her head, "No Dune - er, Folken. See, I tried, but she was high and didn't think twice of it."
Folken said, "Damn weed. No matter, I still have a plan. I found someone who might have some ass lines."
"Two pairs of ass lines?!"
"Yes." Folken spoked and snapped his fingers.
A naked boy with silver like hair was dragged in.
"Who is he?"
"I dunno. While I was searching for some mullet shampoo, I found him out with wild dogs."
"And you think he has the ass lines?"
"Yes. We shall call him. . .Dilandau!" Folken said and laughed an evil laugh.
The boy, now known as Dilandau raised his head and barked. Folken did that force grip thingy.
"Yeah, no barking. It's annoying." Folken snapped.
Dilandau fell silent.
Sora turned to Folken, "Well, what now?"
"What now you ask? Why we skip 2 years in the future!"
Sora nods, "OK!" She starts to dance, "Let's do the time warp againnnnnn!"
Folken funks and then we go forward in time, because the author cannot believe how unreal this story is.
2 YEARS LATER. . .AFTER THE TIME WARP. . .
ON EARTH. . .
Hitomi is chilling on top of the roof, thinking about how depressed she is. Her shoes are off, too. Yukari comes tripping out and stops, covering her nose.
"What's that stink?"
"Huh? Oh, it's my shoes."
"Gross, get the back on."
Hitomi does, thankfully, and stares up at the sky, as two birds fly over here. She jumps up.
"Oh gross!"
"What?!" Yukari cried.
"That bird shit on me!"
Yukari pointed and laughed, "Hahahahahahahaha-"
Another bird crapped on Yukari.
"Ok, you know what, this is stupid!" Yukari cried.
Hitomi rubbed her eyes, "I feel different."
"Perhaps it is because you have crap on your shoulder?" Yukari pointed out, helpfully.
"No. It is because I feel like something major is going to happen."
"Like another bird will crap on you?"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE BIRD CRAPPING?!" Hitomi cried.
"Sorry."
Hitomi looked up at the sun, "I wonder what will happen. . ."
TBC
Geez. . . I am very scared of myself right now. LEAVE A REVIEW! Thanks!
By the way, the Time Warp thing was for my other friend *You know who you are!*
Disclaimer: MWHAHAHA! I have returned with the second chapter! I do not own Escaflowne or Van's ass lines.
Note: Actually, I thought Dilandau had the BEST ASS OF THEM ALL! This is just poking fun of the drawings on Van's ass.
This is for my friend, Holly! ^_^
CHAPTER TWO
5 YEARS LATER. . .
Folken was staring in the mirror, combing his mullet. He had once again shoved down the anger. He knew the anger all too well. Van, his 10 year old brother, and his stupid Ass Lines.
I should have gotten them. He snapped to himself, combing harder, making sure his mullet looked all pretty.
He could hear Van being surrounded by all the other twenty year old women.
The women who are SUPPOSE to be falling over ME. He hissed in his brain.
He had put up for this for way to long. No matter. Soon the oracle would chose who to pick to be king and no doubt it would be him.
It had to be.
1 WEEK LATER
Everyone sat in the seats. Van and Folken were crouching down in front of the oracle, waiting for it to pick the best king. Van was naked of course, he always was. Folken tried to relax, but all the girls wouldn't shut up about how cute Van's ass lines were.
Morons. All of them! He thought to himself when the oracle spoke.
The "Oracle Reader" some old dude who could understand what the oracle could say, nodded and turned to the crowd.
"The new king of Adom is. . .VAN!"
Everyone cheered and Van was soon swamped with people. Folken felt more anger than ever before. He stood up and marched to his bedroom.
It was time for Adom to burn.
3 YEARS LATER *We sure skip time, don't we?!*
ON EARTH. . .
A young schoolgirl with brownish hair was running around, giggling with her other friend.Then she stopped quickly.
"Hitomi?" asked the girl, "Is something wrong?"
"Can you hear it?"
"Hear what?"
"The Ass Lines calling me. . .?" Hitomi whispered.
The other girl sighed, "Geez, Hitomi, did you smoke up in the bathroom again?"
Hitomi's eyes slanted, "Um . . .No, Yukari."
The girl, now known as Yukari, sighed, "Yes you did. Now you're hearing voices!"
"Sorry!" Hitomi shook her head, "Hey, I'm starved. Let's go eat."
"Muuunchies. . ." Yukari taunted and they ran off giggling, Hitomi harder than Yukari.
ON GAEA
Van ran quickly from Adom. It was set on fire, all burning to the ground. Van fell to the ground, naked.
"Adom . . .brother, why? Why did you burn it?!" He cried to no one.
He had seen Folken there . . .And the author just remembered his name was "Dune" not "Folken" but whatever! Folken had set the village of Adom to the ground.
Van stood up and raised his hands up high, "I VAN WILL KILL MY BROTHER FOR I AM THE SECRET CARRIER OF ASSFLOWNE!"
Oh god, how did I come up with THAT?
Folken looked straight ahead at the singing girl.
"Sora, has the Ass Goddess fallen yet?"
Sora shook her head, "No Dune - er, Folken. See, I tried, but she was high and didn't think twice of it."
Folken said, "Damn weed. No matter, I still have a plan. I found someone who might have some ass lines."
"Two pairs of ass lines?!"
"Yes." Folken spoked and snapped his fingers.
A naked boy with silver like hair was dragged in.
"Who is he?"
"I dunno. While I was searching for some mullet shampoo, I found him out with wild dogs."
"And you think he has the ass lines?"
"Yes. We shall call him. . .Dilandau!" Folken said and laughed an evil laugh.
The boy, now known as Dilandau raised his head and barked. Folken did that force grip thingy.
"Yeah, no barking. It's annoying." Folken snapped.
Dilandau fell silent.
Sora turned to Folken, "Well, what now?"
"What now you ask? Why we skip 2 years in the future!"
Sora nods, "OK!" She starts to dance, "Let's do the time warp againnnnnn!"
Folken funks and then we go forward in time, because the author cannot believe how unreal this story is.
2 YEARS LATER. . .AFTER THE TIME WARP. . .
ON EARTH. . .
Hitomi is chilling on top of the roof, thinking about how depressed she is. Her shoes are off, too. Yukari comes tripping out and stops, covering her nose.
"What's that stink?"
"Huh? Oh, it's my shoes."
"Gross, get the back on."
Hitomi does, thankfully, and stares up at the sky, as two birds fly over here. She jumps up.
"Oh gross!"
"What?!" Yukari cried.
"That bird shit on me!"
Yukari pointed and laughed, "Hahahahahahahaha-"
Another bird crapped on Yukari.
"Ok, you know what, this is stupid!" Yukari cried.
Hitomi rubbed her eyes, "I feel different."
"Perhaps it is because you have crap on your shoulder?" Yukari pointed out, helpfully.
"No. It is because I feel like something major is going to happen."
"Like another bird will crap on you?"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE BIRD CRAPPING?!" Hitomi cried.
"Sorry."
Hitomi looked up at the sun, "I wonder what will happen. . ."
TBC
Geez. . . I am very scared of myself right now. LEAVE A REVIEW! Thanks!
By the way, the Time Warp thing was for my other friend *You know who you are!*