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Not A Dirty Word

Chapter Four - Just A Dash of Seasoning

By Michael Fetter

It sizzled.

Kasumi took in the aroma wafting up from the cooking pan. For a year she had been eating nothing but fish and rice. Japanese food was just so boring. Where was the bacon and eggs? French toast and breakfast burritos? There wasn't even an IHOP around here. That was real food, not miso soup. There was only so much of that Kasumi could take.

Admittedly, this wasn't as radical a change as Kasumi was originally thinking of, but it was a start.

"What's that smell, oneechan?"

Kasumi smiled as Nabiki entered the kitchen. The girl was a horrible morning person, but a little change and she seemed completely awake. "I'm trying something knew for breakfast. Pancakes!"

Blinking, Nabiki looked at the odd round thing and shrugged. It wasn't like Akane was experimenting. Kasumi's creations always turned out good so she wouldn't say anything, not when they smelled that good.

"Could you take the syrup and butter to the table, please?"

Nodding with a yawn, Nabiki did as she was bade. "Sure thing, Kasumi."

Akane returned from her morning jog just as Kasumi was getting finished. Returning from a quick bath, she sat down beside Nabiki and her father for breakfast. It looked as if Akane had put her defeat behind her already.

"Probably blocked it from memory," Kasumi thought. She set down the plates and glasses of milk before heading to the backyard where Ranma and his father were exchanging blows over the koi pond. Waiting for just the right moment, Kasumi broke their concentration, "Breakfast is ready."
SPLASH!

The short redhead and panda sat up in the koi pond with looks of confusion on their face as they found Kasumi smiling at them from the door.

Kasumi had no intentions of going through with the engagement, but she also wasn't into aggressive tactics, so she tried to be subtle. Innocently ignoring situations, making just the right comments, and getting Ranma drenched ought to push him away. And in the meantime, Kasumi did like the way Ranma-chan's muscle-t clung to her breasts.

"Thanks, Kasumi," Ranma dried herself off with a towel and sat down at the table.

"Of course, Ranma-chan." The cursed boy winced at that and Kasumi pretended not to notice. Breakfast went slowly as people followed Kasumi's example to eating the western breakfast. Kasumi gave it no mind.

"Oh, Akane," Kasumi pointed at a book near the front door, "could you return that to Dr. Tofu for me?"

Akane blinked and nodded her head.

Wait, wasn't she supposed to decline? Kasumi grimaced internally. If things were already getting this far off the story line then Kasumi was going to have a harder time of predicting what was to come. She'll stop by the clinic anyway just to make sure.

With a smile on her face, Akane finished breakfast and picked up the medical book.

"That was great, Kasumi," Ranma complimented as he too finished up, "later."

Hmm, Ranma hardly reacted to Akane. Could it be loyalty or did he really not care for the girl. Kasumi was going to have to study the relationships of people around the house more carefully.

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It was time to train. Kasumi set herself solidly in the backyard and stared hard at the koi pond. Father and Saotome-san were seated by the porch watching her progress. She was still tired after the morning sparring, but she was determined to strengthen her aura.

"Take it slowly, Kasumi," her father advised. "Let the energy fill your senses and breathe it in with your heart."

"See it with your spirit," Genma added.

"Yes, sensei." Kasumi closed her eyes and took slow, deep breaths. She could hear the wind flowing through the trees, the fish breaking the surface of the pond, and her heart beat out a cadence alongside them.

"Such spirit the girl has, Tendou," Genma remarked.

Soun nodded with a smile. "I don't know what came over her, but Kasumi has become truly focused upon the Art recently."

"Then it must be fate," Genma cheered. "Kasumi and my boy were meant for each other!"

"Oh, I'm so happy!" Soun cried a river of tears. "My little girl is going to get married! WAHH!!"

Frowning, Kasumi tuned the two men out. She needed to focus. Maybe if she were to somehow become better than Ranma she could get out of this mess without any help at all. Not likely, but it would definitely turn Ranma off to have a fiancée stronger than him. Clenching down on her aura, Kasumi finally released what she had gathered.

The two celebrating men were suddenly knocked out of their seats as a great white light bathed the area.

Genma stared with wide eyes. He felt a tightening pressure around his heart when he looked at Kasumi's aura. "Tendou, she's . . ."

Soun stared dumbly. The shock wave caused by Kasumi's aura had nearly given him an aneurysm. This was just so . . .

Over in the yard, Kasumi smiled brilliantly as clouds suddenly parted and a bright golden ray of sun shown down on her. Everything seemed to sparkle and glow with new health. Dying flowers bloomed, the koi danced in their pond, and small woodland creatures appeared around the girl. A small songbird even landed on Kasumi's finger and began whistling "You Are My Sunshine". Kasumi was fairly certain she could pick up the scent of roses hanging in the air as well.

Such sweetness! Soun and Genma staggered away from the scene with a need to brush their teeth before they rotted and fell out of their mouths.

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It was close to the end of the school day when Kasumi stepped out of the house with a plate of cookies. "I'll be back in a bit, father."

"All right, Kasumi."

It wasn't far to the clinic and it was on the way to Akane's high school. Not finding the girl on the way, Kasumi assumed that meant she was with Ranma at the clinic. All she would have to do is walk in and-

"K-K-Kasumi! Fancy meeting you here!"

Kasumi smiled innocently at the sound of fleeing patients and a terrible cracking sound. "You're so silly, Dr. Tofu. I came over to thank you for lending me your book with some cookies."

The man was a few inches taller than Kasumi herself. Wearing a black gi and glasses, he looked like a beginning martial artist rather than a chiropractor. As his glasses began to fog up his body started moving on it's own. "How nice!"

She rolled her eyes as the man took the plate of cookies and began biting into the plate itself. "Oh, Dr. Tofu, you're so funny."

Kasumi watched in amusement as the good doctor made an ass out of himself by dancing around the room with his skeleton, Betty. Now Akane should notice the way Tofu was around her and start trying to change the engagement to Ranma for her and-

"How come ya asked Akane to come to the clinic if ya were just gonna come yerself, Kasumi?"

The girl blinked. That didn't sound like Akane at all. Kasumi turned to face Ranma-kun, who was a few inches shorter than her, and blinked again. "If you're here, then where-"

"Ite."

Both Ranma and Kasumi looked over at Akane sitting on the patient's table and winced.

Tofu must have heard also because his glasses cleared up and he stared at Akane. "You're neck was hurt too, Akane? How did that happen?"

"Oh my," Kasumi put a hand over her smile and tilted her head slightly to look at Akane. "Is she broken?"

"Ha!" Tofu grabbed Akane's head and cranked it to the other side. "Nothing I can't fix, right Betty?! Hahaha!"

"What happened to Akane, little Ranma?" Kasumi asked innocently, as if a raving lunatic wasn't sticking acupuncture needles in his head and dancing out into the street. She'd seen Hellraiser enough times to not get concerned about it.

"Uh," Ranma glanced from the insane doctor to the crooked Akane and grew a massive sweat drop. "The clumsy gorilla sort of got in the way of a fly ball during gym."

"I didn't get in the way," Akane growled. "Your fiancé hit me."

"Hey, you're a martial artist! Why didn't you dodge?!"

Akane growled as an angry aura appeared around her. She would have retorted but a hand suddenly flung her from the table and she landed on her head dazed, but it was on straight now!

"FIANCE!"

Kasumi blinked at Dr. Tofu's sudden reappearance. "Oh my. Our father's arranged it before little Ranma was born in order to unite the schools."

"Do you have to call me 'little Ranma'," the pigtailed boy whined. He took a step back when Tofu put his face less than an inch from his nose. "Doc?"

"You're engaged to Kasumi?"

Did he sound angry, Kasumi wondered to herself.

"Uh," Ranma swallowed and nodded slowly. "Yeah."

The darkness receded and everything was calm again as Tofu Ono stood up straight and smiled thinly at everyone. "Well then," he patted Ranma on the back, "congratulations."

"Thank you, Dr. Tofu," Kasumi answered. She noted his glasses still fogged up, but he hadn't started running around like an idiot. Taking Ranma's arm, Kasumi glanced over her shoulder and led them both out of the clinic.

"Doctor Tofu?" Akane asked weakly. The man hadn't even noticed her still on the floor, but she could see his face turning red and his hands clenching. "Doctor?"

"RANMA SAOTOME!" the man screamed at his ceiling fan, "For stealing the sweet, innocent Kasumi from me, I will destroy you!"

Akane crawled out of the clinic silently.

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Ranma shuddered on the way home.

"Something wrong, little Ranma?"

The boy sighed. "Could you please not call me that?" He noted her vacant smile and sighed again. "It's nothing, I'm sure."

"Okay." Kasumi started counting down in her head after checking her watch. When she reached zero Ranma suddenly collapsed onto the ground. "Oh my. Are you all right, little Ranma?"

Eyes wide, Ranma flopped on the ground. "I can't move my legs!"

Feigning concern, "Should I go get Dr. Tofu?"

"Nononono!" Ranma shook his head violently. "I'm sure it's nothing. Uh, let's just go home, huh?"

Kasumi shrugged and started lifting the boy up.

"Wait a minute. I can't be seen being carried on a girl's back! It's not manly!"

Swinging the boy onto her back despite his protests, Kasumi shushed him and started walking. "I'm sure no one will mind, little Ranma. It's just ten blocks."

Ranma moaned pitifully while Kasumi smiled.

End Chapter Four

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Short, but hey, it happens to all guys eventually.

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Ja ne.