Disclaimer: No letters in the alphabet used in this story are owned by me. Except the silent ones that raise bile each time they are pronounced. No sentence structures were harmed in the making of this story.
Not A Dirty Word
Chapter Six - Tofu's Revenge!
By Michael Fetter
"Do you see this?"
"Never knew she had it in her."
"What a woman."
"Hey! That's Kasumi Tendou you're talkin' about. Best to keep those thoughts clean, buddy!"
Kasumi smirked as she lined up her next shot. The bar was one of the basement deals built beneath a restaurant so the only light came from the door up the stairs or the lamps hanging over the pool tables.
She didn't come out to these places often, but she felt it necessary to unwind sometimes. The bartender knew her well enough to accept her presence. Still, a girl in a housedress stuck out like a sore thumb and didn't quite fit with the number of toughs in the joint.
"Eight ball in the side pocket, Masano-san." The man grimaced as he followed Kasumi's posture against the table. He hadn't expected a 'simple' girl like her to beat him so badly.
The ball fell with ease and Kasumi pocketed the wad of cash left lying on the table. The man put up his stick and smiled at her as he left. Kasumi lifted her drink in return.
The other men who had been watching laughed at the man's bad luck or applauded Kasumi's skill. It was a strange crowd for a young woman to hang out with, but they helped her relax after a stressful couple of days of taking care of her family.
"Pretty good hustle you've got going here, girl."
Quirking an eyebrow, Kasumi turned to the new man at the table. He had a leather case for carrying a personal cue and a scar down the left side of his face. She smiled warmly, "Hello, my name is Kasumi Tendou. Would you like to play a round?"
He chuckled and started assembling his stick. "Sure. How much would you like to bet?"
"Oh, I don't like betting. It's very wasteful, but how about ten thousand for the game?"
The man groaned and picked himself off of the table while giving her a strange look. "Call me Guro and make it fifty."
"Fifty?" Kasumi thought over how much money she had in her pocket and came up fifteen thousand short. "Okay, Guro-san."
The new man went around the table and started racking the balls himself. Kasumi took the time to glance about the room out of the corners of her eyes. A number of the regular people had moved off as Guro approached the table. There was also a pair of large men in dark suits and concealed handguns watching.
Finishing her beer, Michael wanted a Pinser, but the Kasumi part of him wouldn't go past a Coor's Light, she signaled for the waitress to bring another.
Guro dropped the triangle beneath the table. "Why don't you take the first shot, Kasumi?"
Nodding with a smile, Kasumi rubbed some chalk over her cue tip. Kei, the young purple-haired waitress, chose that moment to appear with a new glass. "Be careful, Kasumi-san," she whispered airily, "Guro can get mad if when he loses and you don't want to mess with him."
Kasumi took a drink and set it on a nearby table. "Thank you, Kei-chan."
The girl smiled nervously and wiggled back to the bar counter.
When the game started, Kasumi kept a close eye on Guro and his bodyguards. Part of the reason she came out was to get a drink and shoot a little pool; the other part was to find a fight. With her skill in the Art growing, Kasumi was constantly looking for ways to test herself. While she wasn't up to Ranma's level she would get there eventually.
Guro's face was starting to turn a little red near the end of the game. He restrained himself on several occasions and tried to bump the table during her shots. Kasumi just smiled and kept going.
"Well," Guro's left eye was twitching over his scar, "looks like this is it."
"Oh my, so soon?" Kasumi put a hand to her cheek as she found herself left with only the eight ball, four ahead of Guro. "I must be very lucky."
The crowd of watchers chuckled until Guro glared at them. "Please, continue."
"Corner pocket, Guro-san."
Plunk.
Snarling, Guro snapped his expensive pool stick over his knee. He yelled while limping around the table. "You filthy hustler! Grab her boys."
"Now, now," Kasumi began in an admonishing tone, "there's no need to throw a hissy fit."
"What did you say?!" Guro glared at the smiling girl and reared his hand back.
Kasumi tapped her cue against her shoulder in annoyance then noticed a piece of chalk on the ground and picked it up. Guro most have noticed also as he was staring at his feet, groaning. "Don't want anyone tripping on this," Kasumi said, holding the little cube.
Guro's head snapped back as she stood up.
The crowd blinked in unison as they watched. Kasumi stared at them blankly and then at Guro with his bloody nose. "Oh my, are you alright, Guro-san?"
"Kasumi-san?" Kei called out in a worrying tone.
"Yes?" Kasumi turned to the younger girl, her pool stick hanging over her shoulder. "Kei-chan, could you find a Kleenex for Guro-san?"
"Um," Kei blinked at the man knocked out cold over the pool table. Had Kasumi done that on purpose? "Just a minute, Kasumi-san."
Smiling, Kasumi returned to Guro to find him taking a nap. Well, she'll just let him rest and pick up her winnings. "Thank you for the game, Guro-san."
She turned straight into the two bodyguards. "Yes?"
The first, a tall gaijin with short, dark hair, cleared his throat. "Uh, Kasumi-san, we're supposed to do something for, y'know," he muttered embarrassed and nodded to his unconscious employer.
Cocking her head, Kasumi considered the man. "Blank-san, is that you? How did your wife like that teriyaki recipe?"
"Uh," the man blushed. "We both liked it very much." He stared at Guro for a moment and finally shrugged and steeped aside. "Have a nice night, Kasumi-san."
"And you, Blank-san." Smiling, Kasumi headed for the bar to take care of her bill.
"What are ya doin', man? We're gonna get inta trouble if we don't do something."
"Shut up, Koji. I'm not messing with that girl. My wife would kill me."
"What? Is she dangerous? Looks like a weak girl to me."
"That's Kasumi Tendou. No one messes with her. I think there's a law."
The bartender smirked and finished cleaning one of his glasses as Kasumi approached. "Glad your alright, Kasumi-chan."
"Oh yes, Guro-san was very generous, wasn't he?"
The bartender blinked and laughed out loud. "Whatever you say, Kasumi. Here."
Unfolding the piece of paper she'd been given, Kasumi read the address and time before smiling brightly. She bowed. "Thank you, Kudo-san."
"I don't know why you're interested in that sort of thing, Kasumi, but your old enough to take care of yourself."
Stuffing the slip of paper into the same pocket as her new wad of money, Kasumi headed for the door. The night air breezed over her and removed the smell of smoke from her nostrils. Michael grumbled internally at being denied a smoke by his body, but nothing kills quite like second-hand!
The walk home took nearly an hour, as Kasumi had to cut through park, pass the closed market-street, and walk around Furinkan High. It was too bad her father didn't have a car. She wondered briefly if he even had a driver's license.
She paused coming to an empty lot with a tent set up in the center. "Ryouga-kun?"
"Huh?" The fanged boy looked up from his campfire to stare blankly at Kasumi. "K-Kasumi-san."
She smirked knowingly at his sudden blush. "We haven't seen you for almost a week. Did you take a trip?"
A sweatdrop ran down Ryouga's head. "Uh, year . . . Say, what are you doing out so late, Kasumi-san?"
"I'm heading home. Would you like to come with me? Maybe you and little Ranma could have another sparring match."
Ryouga sputtered and his face burned worse than before. "Uh, be, uh, go to the dojo where, I mean, with Ranma, and uh . . ." A slight trickle of blood began to creep out of his nose. He struck himself hard in the face. "No thanks, Kasumi-san. I've still got to . . . train. Yeah, that's it! I've got to train before facing Ranma-chan, er, Ranma again. Ranma, that's what I meant to say. Why would I say Ranma-chan? I don't even like her-him! I said him! Th-The bastard! Ha!"
Giggling into her hand, Kasumi accepted this to the boy's relief. "Good luck training then, Ryouga-kun."
Heart still pounding in his chest, Ryouga slumped to the ground as the older girl left. "Damn you Ranma, this is all your fault." He sighed wistfully. . . then clocked himself again.
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"You got it, boy?"
Ranma stared stupidly at the money that had been shoved into his hands. For as long as he'd known him, Ranma's father had never offered his son money for any reason. Soun looked quite shocked over the ten-yen coin Ranma had received.
"Saotome," Soun gasped in awe.
Ranma blinked. "You want me ta take her out, like on a date?"
"Exactly, boy." Genma nodded sagely. "Girls need to be treated once in a while to make them feel important. After all, an unsatisfied woman only cooks half as well."
Both fathers nodded gravely at this. Ranma stared with a growing sweatdrop on the back of his head.
"Uh, well-"
"You're not thinking of weasingly out of this, are you son?" Soun demanded.
Ranma tried to think of Kasumi in a romantic sense and was coming up blank. "Well, she's nice'n all, but-"
"Oh, the shame!" Genma wailed. "To think my worthless son is afraid to ask out a harmless girl! Even the most foolish of people could have their way with such a simple girl and my-"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Both Saotomes fell to the ground inside the dojo as Soun's demon head popped out. "MY KASUMI DESERVES ONLY THE FINEST JAPANESE MAN! SHE IS THE SWEETEST, MOST ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN IN THE WORLD!"
"Right! Right you are, Tendou!" Genma nodded quickly, jumping over to Soun's side. He pointed a finger at Ranma, "So you have no reason not to take your wonderful fiancée on a date!"
"I still think it'll cost more than ten yen," Ranma muttered.
Inside the house each of the daughters was watching the dojo.
Nabiki flipped through her manga again. "I wonder if father went out there for privacy?"
Kasumi shrugged. "I wonder if father caught his own Freudian slip?"
Her sisters' heads bounced off the ground before they turned to stare at her stunned.
"I almost feel dirty."
The doorbell rang.
"I'll get it," Kasumi called out cheerfully.
When she was gone, Nabiki and Akane stared at each other and then at the dojo. Nabiki shivered. "That makes a horrid sort of sense."
Akane remained silent.
The door opened and Kasumi met Dr. Tofu standing outside in a nice shirt and slacks. He'd obviously showered before coming over as the scent of shampoo was still evident. A bit of cologne, haircut, and a small bundle of flowers. She wondered if something was going on.
"Oh, Dr. Tofu, what a surprise. Won't you come in?" Kasumi stepped aside to let the older man in. He was ready to say something, but the usual stuttering had already set in. Kasumi took the man's elbow and guided him back into the living room where her father was going under intense scrutinization by her sister's. Ranma in his usual Chinese clothes and holding a flower fresh from the garden instantly focused on Tofu and narrowed his eyes. Tofu returned the glare with the same intensity.
"Akane," Kasumi called out sweetly. "Dr. Tofu came over to check up on your injury. Wasn't that nice of him?"
Both sisters looked at Tofu and his flowers to Kasumi and looked at her oddly.
"Well, actually," Tofu began.
Kasumi moved in closer. "Yes, Dr. Tofu?"
Glasses began to fog up quickly. He laughed, giggling like a little girl. "O-Of c-c-c-course I came to see-see-see, Akane! Come, Betty!" Tofu dragged his skeleton model out of nowhere. "Let's go check on little Akane-chan!"
The girl in question began to back up quickly. "W-Wait! I'm not hurt anymore! Real-ack!"
Ranma ignored the gratuitous violence being committed against Akane's person and strode determined towards Kasumi. Sure she was nice and pretty and all of that, but he also kind of thought of her like a mother figure. She was just so . . . motherly. However, he wasn't about to let some yahoo come over with flowers obviously meant for his fiancée!
"Kasumi-" Ranma began.
"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
The wall exploded to admit an angry Ryouga. There was an obvious green aura surrounding him as he glowered at the pigtailed martial artist.
"What's this about then?" Kasumi wondered. Oddly, Ryouga didn't look as dirty as when she saw him last. In fact he looked clean, new shirt and pants, and then there were the flowers.
Removing a canteen from his pack, he splashed Ranma with a bit of the water and held out the flowers. "Here."
Most people were staring at the badly blushing Lost Boy except for Dr. Tofu who was doing impressionist work on Akane's twitching body. Ranma-chan glanced at the flowers and shrugged. Tossing the pathetic flower in her hand into her father's face, she retrieved Ryouga's bouquet and passed them over to Kasumi. "Do ya wanta-"
"Damn you, Ranma!" Ryouga howled. "Accept your flowers like a man!" Ryouga removed his umbrella and swung at Ranma.
Akane was still being manhandled by Tofu.
Genma began to cry over how worthless his son was.
Soun cried because the schools would never be joined now.
"Oh my," Kasumi put a hand to her cheek and looked at Nabiki, who had crept to her side for protection. "What do you suppose that was about?"
Nabiki stared then shook her head. "Let's go to your room. I'll explain it to you there."
Kasumi followed cheerily.
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They say there is a thin line between love and hate. Still, Kasumi hadn't been expecting that.
After entering her room, Nabiki had started going through her wardrobe for something suitable for a date. Unfortunately, Kasumi didn't have that many outfits. She hadn't had time to go shopping with her pool money yet, not that she'd tell Nabiki about that.
"Hmm," Nabiki held up the little black dress she given Kasumi so long ago. "Too risqué. He'd probably die of blood loss. Better work up to it."
Kasumi blinked.
"I know!" Nabiki grinned and headed for the door. "Back in a sec."
Staring at the closed door, Kasumi sighed and sat down on her bed. She could hear the sounds of violence tapering off. Hopefully there wouldn't be too much destruction for her to clean up later. It was damned annoying feeling the 'Kasumi need to clean'. Michael had tried to ignore it once when he caught sight cinder block dust in the dojo. Akane had made it so she should clean it, but the Kasumi in her started getting more and more insistent. Damned religious, sadomasochistic, anal-retentive body.
"I wonder if I could get out of this. I've already got plans for tonight." Kasumi dropped back on her bed and stared at her ceiling. "It would serve them right if I let Akane cook dinner tonight."
She let the thought percolate for a moment.
The door opened and Nabiki stepped back in while staring at something over her shoulder. "Be ready by six, Ranma-kun."
"You seem to be okay with this now, Nabiki. Do you like, little Ranma?" Kasumi watched her sister closely while looking over the few selections Nabiki had taken out of her own wardrobe. Most of them would be too small since Kasumi was a head taller than Nabiki. Maybe the idea of Ranma dying from blood loss sounded good to her.
Nabiki brushed the question aside as she put one dress up against Kasumi's body then tossed it aside. "It's not about that, Kasumi. I just think you should get away from father, I mean, get away from the work. Have some fun."
Kasumi shrugged.
"So what do you think of your fiancé, Kasumi?"
"He seems . . . nice," she said.
"Just nice?" Nabiki smiled lecherously then quickly suppressed it and shook her head. "Well, how about our good doctor then?"
"Dr. Tofu? He's a very silly man," Kasumi answered in a cheery tone. "Why?"
Nabiki scowled as she rubbed her face after picking it up off of the floor. "No reason." She stared at Kasumi for a long moment before shaking her head and picking out a dress and handing it to Kasumi. "Akane has been working out a bit more than usual."
"Really?" Kasumi held up the dress and noticed it was one of Nabiki's longer one's so the hem came to just below Kasumi's knees. "Is father training her then?"
Nabiki shook her head. "I don't think her pride would let her. She's been getting better though. Akane is moving through the boys at school with less trouble lately. It only lasts a minute now." She clucked at Kasumi's plain underwear, but gave up when nothing better was found in her dresser. "I'm pretty sure she'll be looking for a rematch with you sometime soon."
"Oh?" That sounded interesting. "Has she learned anything new?"
"I don't think so," Nabiki sighed and sat on the bed. "She's not faster or anything. I don't know what it is. Maybe she's just stronger."
Both girls critiqued the dress once Kasumi had pushed herself into it. It was long enough, but Kasumi's breasts were threatening to burst its seems. With a shrug, Nabiki handed her the black dress again. Kasumi waited for her body to rebel, but for some reason it had no problem putting on the dress this time. It reached to mid thigh, showed off a bit of cleavage, and was strapless. How these things stayed on was still a mystery to Michael, but Kasumi accepted it.
Nabiki spent a little time working through the make up with her and setting her hair in a braid. At the end, Kasumi looked less motherly and more . . . attractive. Heck, Michael would have asked her out if that were possible.
"Kasumi, I was wondering," Nabiki bit her lip, considering how to continue.
"What is it, Nabiki?" Kasumi watched her sister give her a small smile through the mirror.
"It's not that I want you to leave," she began again. "I mean, you've been taking care of all of us for a long time and we all appreciate it, but you don't plan to stay here forever, do you? All this talk about continuing the school is noble and all, but it's not very practical."
"Someone like Ranma, he doesn't have many other choices, but you were top of your class graduating from high school. It's only been a year since you graduated. You could still go to college or something. There's plenty of opportunity out there for someone like you."
Kasumi stood up and embraced her sister. She wasn't just feeling up her little sister's body this time. It really was a nice thing of her to say.
What would she do? It was very possible that she was going to be stuck like this, in this universe for the rest of her life. Playing Kasumi and watching the Saotomes was amusing, but not much of a life. It wasn't like she intended to marry any man either.
Kasumi never answered because, honestly, she didn't know. She checked the time and then picked up her purse. "I'll see you later, Nabiki."
"Have fun," said Nabiki with less enthusiasm.
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Ranma was given an itinerary along with the loan from Nabiki. Kasumi pretended not to hear his grumbling and followed along as they walked towards the restaurant. It was a French restaurant, whatever the
French were doing in Japan.
"I'll be back to take your order in a minute," the Japanese waiter said with a put on accent.
Ranma had a nervous smile as the man left and then he looked over the menu, avoiding eye contact with Kasumi. Other than putting on the blue silk shirt not much else seemed to have changed. "What the heck?" he muttered to himself. "It's all in some foreign language. Shimatta."
Kasumi was actually thinking the same thing and hoping just to identify something familiar. Damned French, too good to translate their menus even outside of their own country.
When the waiter returned they both just pointed at an item rather than look like idiots and trying to say the names.
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Skulking around outside of the restaurant, by luck, Ryouga peered through the window at the couple having a quiet dinner together. It wasn't fair, whatever it was. He was certain it was Ranma's fault though.
"You're that boy from before."
"Huh?" Ryouga whirled about to find himself facing the odd man with the glasses he saw at the Tendou house. Though he didn't look like much, Ryouga could tell the guy had training in some sort of martial arts. "What do you want?"
"Nothing." He looked towards the restaurant. "I have to get closer and make sure that little pervert doesn't try anything with my sweet Kasumi."
"Kasumi?" Ryouga muttered and looked back. "Hey! That's Ranma you're talking about, pal!"
Tofu looked at him oddly. "You . . . like Ranma?"
"Of course not!" Ryouga blushed heavily. "I want nothing to do with her! Because of Ranma I've seen hell!"
Tofu pondered this for a moment and then nodded. "Maybe we can work together to separate them."
"Why should I?" Ryouga demanded. "It's not like I care if the jerk dates some chick."
"Oh?" Tofu snorted. "I'm not the only one standing out here watching this travesty. And Kasumi is not some chick. She's the most wonderful, caring, and beautiful young woman in the world."
"Is not!" Ryouga glared then smacked himself in the face. "Whatever. Let's go."
Tofu grabbed Ryouga's shirt as the boy started walking off in the wrong direction. Ryouga glared, but didn't pull away. They made it to the entrance and Tofu nodded to the host. "Table for two."
The French-Japanese man stared at Tofu for a moment, stared at Ryouga, then stared some more. "Of course, sir. Right this way."
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The quiet descended into silence. Silence became boredom. Boredom settled into murderous agony.
As they waited for their meals, Kasumi watched Ranma pull out one of the breadsticks and study it. He tapped it against the table a few times and then his glass of water. Finding the sound interesting, he tapped the glass again. When seeds fell off, he studied the damaged area.
Tap, tap, tap.
Tap, tap, twirl.
Tap, twirl, toss, twirl, tap.
In any restaurant it was expected that the chef's would need some time to properly prepare the customer's meals. Gather the ingredients, prepare the utensils, start the burners, cook the meal. These things take time.
Tap, twirl, tap, toss, twirl, behind the back, tap, balance on nose, finger roll, tap, tap, twirl.
The French had turned dining into a fine art though. They understood this pause on a deeper level than any other food distributor. Where other chef's took their time to prepare the food, the French took their time to build up the anticipation. This was the secret to French dining.
Twirl, tap, basketball roll over shoulders, blind toss, catch in mouth, chew.
"This place isn't so bad," Ranma opined.
Kasumi's left eye twitched while she considered taking another breadstick shoving it through the pig-tailed boy's heart and screaming, "Damn the French! This is all their fault!"
But she controlled herself and tipped Ranma's glass accidentally. That was better.
Ranma-chan frowned as she felt the change. The waiter blinked twice when he noticed a redhead in the space he was certain a boy had been sitting a moment ago. He shrugged and set down their meals. "Bon appetite."
Kasumi groaned at the fried snails.
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"What the hell is he doing?" Tofu muttered with a frown. For over five minutes they had watched Ranma toss about his breadstick like an idiot. Kasumi's eye was twitching so bad he feared she'd suffered a stroke.
Ryouga glowered in their direction. "Showoff."
Tofu shook his head.
"Are you prepared to order?"
Taking a look at the menu as the waiter returned, Tofu swallowed nervously as he noted the prices. His companion also grimaced. "We'll have this," Tofu indicated with his finger.
Staring, "For . . . both of you?"
"Yes."
". . ." The waiter wrote the order down and took the menus.
"Why is everyone looking at us weird?" Ryouga whispered as he glanced at the retreating waiter.
Tofu shrugged. "Who knows? They're French."
Ryouga nodded in understanding and returned to watching Ranma, who had been changed into a girl by now.
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Putting the dinner disaster behind them, Ranma and Kasumi headed for the theater. Nothing had been said, but occasionally Ranma would make an attempt to suck something out of his teeth.
"So, uh," Ranma fished around his pockets and came up with some more money. "I'll go get us some tickets, huh?"
"All right."
Ranma left, sucking on his teeth.
Sighing, Kasumi looked about for something interesting. Michael had been out on dates before, not from this perspective though. He hoped he'd never acted like such an ass before.
Somewhere out there she was certain someone was following them. Ranma had never gone out on date in the manga without someone stalking him. Maybe Nabiki was watching. Of course, if she saw dinner then she likely went home figuring nothing would happen. Akane didn't seem interested so that wasn't likely. Maybe their fathers were around.
"Hey, baby."
Kasumi glanced to her left and found a boy about Ranma's age smiling at her. Her eyebrow twitched.
He glanced back at a friend of his and gave a thumbs up before turning back to her. "What's a pretty thing like you doing here all alone?"
"Seeing a movie," she answered evenly.
The boy paused and looked at the Movie Theater and blushed. He tried to play it off. "I'm Hiroshi. What's your name?"
This wouldn't have been half as bad if the boy weren't as tall as her breasts and openly staring at them. She turned away. "Not interested."
"Oh, give a guy a br-"
Give a guy a what? Kasumi turned back and blinked when she found no one there.
"Ready, Kasumi?" Ranma asked, holding out a ticket for her.
Nodding, Kasumi followed her 'date' into the theater and forgot about the pervert entirely.
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"Damned perverts," Tofu growled as he finished off the boy who had been hitting on Kasumi.
Ryouga eyed the older man nervously. "Are you on some sort of medication or something? You're starting to drool."
"Not touch sweet Kasumi," Tofu answered.
". . ." Ryouga shrugged and headed for the theater. He needed to find a bathroom after eating those snails if nothing else. "Whatever."
Snagging the boy by the shirt, Tofu led them in the right direction and slapped some money on the counter. "Two."
The ticket lady stared at him, Ryouga, then back to Tofu. "Enjoy, I guess."
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Inside the theater, Ranma had bought two hotdogs and two sodas to help them ease their stomachs. The seats were already filling up quickly except for a few rows in the back. Ranma lead them that way and sat towards the center.
"So, what are we watching?"
"Some crappy chick-fli-" Ranma cut himself off and grimaced. "I mean, a romantic comedy that Nabiki suggested."
Sighing, Kasumi leaned back in her chair and got ready to sleep.
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"Damn pervert."
Ryouga frowned as he noticed more people were watching them since they entered the theater. "Knock it off. People are staring. They probably think you're some sort of freak the way you keep gurgling like that."
Tofu didn't listen. Instead he was just glaring up at the couple near the top of the seating area. The only reason people went up there was to make out during the movie. "Little hentai."
Ryouga was seriously considering decking the older man.
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Ranma shifted uneasily in his seat after the movie started. With the lights out it was almost like he was alone with Kasumi. The movie started and it was as bad as he thought it would be so didn't pay too much attention.
He glanced over at Kasumi. It looked like she was staring right at the screen, but he couldn't tell with the way her bangs covered her eyes.
What was he supposed to do? He supposed things were going okay since Kasumi didn't say anything bad about the restaurant though it made him want to throw up. What oddball country ate snails?
Looking around, he noticed people were laughing at whatever was happening. Ranma was pretty sure that Kasumi wasn't laughing though. Maybe things weren't going so well after all? Maybe she was just a quiet laugher? Maybe she just didn't find it funny.
God he wished he knew what he was supposed to do. This whole night had been terrible for him. Did girls actually like doing things like this? It would be a snowy day in hell the next time he gets dragged out on a date, Ranma decided.
A few rows down a couple was laughing and the guy had his arm around the girl's shoulders. A little further some retard was drooling on another guy's shoulder.
Ranma was pretty sure the second couple was . . . special, but the first . . . Should he put his arm around Kasumi? Would she like that? He wished he knew, but there was no one to help him out. It was just he, Kasumi, and the couple making out in the seat beside him.
"Ack!"
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Narrowing his eyes, Tofu wiped his mouth with sleeve and stood up after Ranma-chan left the theater. "I'm going."
"Huh?" Ryouga caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye as Ranma-chan left. Obviously the pervert had done something that he'd have to punish her for. Punish, not fantasize.
"Right." Ryouga stood up after Tofu and headed for the doors. People complained as he crossed the isle the wrong way.
Forgetting about his companion, Tofu headed straight up the stairs to the row Kasumi was sitting in. She didn't notice his approach or when he sat down in Ranma's seat. It was for the best as his glasses were already starting to fog up. "H-H-Hello, K-Kasumi."
Breathe. He had to stay focused.
"I saw Ranma leave the theater and I wanted to tell you you did the right thing. That pervert was all wrong for you."
Someone tried to shush him, but Tofu ignored it. "I hope this isn't too awkward, but I wanted to tell you-"
"Hey, shut up," someone hissed.
Tofu ground his teeth. "I wanted to tell you I've been watching you for some time now and-"
"Hey, jerk off! Shut the hell up!"
Eyebrow twitched. "-and I think you're the most perfect woman in the world-"
"Whatever, Romeo!"
"-and I-"
"Loser!"
"-and I lo-"
"Looooser!"
"DIE! DIE! DIE! I KILL YOU ALL!" Tofu threw himself at a man three rows down, snarling and drooling like a beast.
"Ah, help me!" the man screamed. "He bit off my finger! I think he's got rabies!"
SNARL!
"He's punching me in the kneecap! Why is he punching me in the kneecap?!"
RIP!
"Oh no! I'm starting to foam at the mouth! Dear god, someone put him down!"
Up near the top row, Kasumi began to snore. Stupid chick flicks are so dull!
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Standing in the men's bathroom, Ranma sighed in disgust. She'd accidentally spilled her coke over her pants and it was making her feel sticky. Standing in only her boxers, Ranma tried to wash as much of the soda out as she could.
The bathroom cabinet suddenly opened and Ryouga's head popped out. "Where am I now?" he wondered while staring straight at Ranma's crotch in confusion.
"What the hell?" Ranma took a step back and stared at Ryouga. "What are you doing here?"
"Ranma, I found you!" Ryouga grinned and quickly changed it into an angry glare. "How dare you go out with Kasumi!"
"It's not like I wanted to, y'know. It wasn't my idea!"
"Don't try to fool me, Saotome," Ryouga growled. "I saw the way you two were sitting at the same table. The same table. And right across from each other. Yeah, don't deny it!"
"What the hell are you talking about?! Of course I sat at the same table! It's where the waiter seated us!"
Ryouga scoffed. "Don't give me that. Just now you were sitting with Kasumi in the same theater too! You think I don't know what's going on? Two people, sitting together, in the dark? You playboy!"
"What are you talking about?!" Ranma smacked herself in the head several times to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. She reached over and splashed some of the hot water on his face, but Ryouga was still there. "What do you care what I do with Kasumi anyway?!"
"What do I care? What do I care?!" Ryouga reached out and grabbed Ranma by his shirt. "Sh-he-I . . . You stole her from her boyfriend, that's what! So what if he's a slobbering, pathetic moron and you took my virginity?! I will make your life hell!"
Ryouga suddenly blushed, but Ranma missed it as he focused on the first part of the lost boy's ranting. "That idiot had his chance! He'll just have to find someone else!"
"Ahem."
Ranma and Ryouga stopped and looked at the man who had stepped out of one of the stalls.
The man tried not to stare and finally decided he didn't need to wash his hands that badly.
"What's with him?" Ryouga wondered, still kneeling in front of Ranma who wasn't wearing his pants.
Ranma blinked and then left Ryouga lying face down in a pile of cracked floor tiles. "Pervert."
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Kasumi stretched and yawned as they left the theater. She felt better after her short nap and wondered if the date could be considered over yet. She got her answer when Ranma put away his itinerary and steered them towards one of the nearby parks.
"What did you think of the movie, little Ranma?" Kasumi actually wondered if he hadn't slept through it also.
"Uh, it was . . . fine," Ranma finished lamely. "What did you think?"
"It was fine."
The park was quiet, not even a breeze to shake the trees. Kasumi smiled as they came across a landmark she knew. It was the same place her would-be attacker was dropkicked into the sidewalk.
"Cold?"
Kasumi shook her head.
It was quiet, peaceful. The moon hung silently over the couple, its glow shimmering off of the lake in the middle of the park. With the comfortable weather and bright stars some might consider this the perfect situation for a romantic moment.
Thank god something interrupted before it could happen.
"DIE, RANMA!"
A snarling, monstrous beast with nothing but hate and loathing in its eyes jumped out of the bushes beside them and went into a flurry of homicidal attacks.
"Dr. Tofu?" Kasumi stared blankly.
The man stood and adjusted his glasses to sit on his nose properly. "Evening, Kasumi. Fancy meeting you here."
"Psycho," Ranma muttered under his breath.
"Forgive me, but I must deal with this young upstart now." Tofu turned on Ranma and removed several needles from a bracelet on his wrist.
Kasumi stepped aside. "If you say so."
Smirking, Ranma cracked his knuckles. "Bring it on, doc."
Both men jumped at each other at the same time. Tofu was actually a decent fighter, very light on his feet. He didn't possess a lot of power in his kicks or punches, but he was able to toss Ranma around several times.
"What the-?" Ranma rolled out of a shoulder throw and his right arm went completely numb. Tofu was grinning at him, a few of his acupuncture needles missing from his hands.
"Ready to give up? Renounce your claim on Kasumi and you may walk away from this alive!"
Ranma blinked and then scowled at the older man. "Forget it, old man! Kasumi's my fiancée!"
It was just his pride talking, Kasumi told herself. There's no need to kill him. Shaking it off, Kasumi waited patiently while Ranma and Tofu fought over . . . whatever. A quick spin back kick caught Tofu off guard and he was launched into the air by his chin.
Ranma winced as a new needle found its target in the small of his back. His legs had given out, but he was determined to stay up, at least balance long enough to be the one who didn't fall first. Unfortunately a stiff breeze sent him to the ground on his face.
"Hmm," Kasumi regarded the two men. "Looks like a tie. I didn't know Dr. Tofu was that good."
Tofu groaned as he opened his eyes again. "Damn." He reached up and reset his chipped glasses and tapped a few points on his body. He smacked himself on the shoulder twice. "Tut, tut. You had your chance." Tofu stood up and lumbered over to where Ranma was sitting on the ground without the use of his legs. "Now just lie still while I take care you."
"Huh?" Ranma stared dumbly at the man. "Weren't you just trying to kill me?"
"Well, yes," Tofu chortled and removed a few needles. "But I couldn't actually hurt you. I took an oath after all."
"Uh . . . okay."
When Tofu finished he bid them a goodnight and left for the clinic. Kasumi considered the fight for a moment. "That was pointless." She helped Ranma back onto his feet and glanced around for any other surprises.
"Guess this wasn't a very good date, huh?" Ranma smirked a little, but it was easy to tell he felt bad about how terrible the night was.
Shrugging, Kasumi pulled out a piece of paper that she got at the bar last night. "We could still end it on a high note."
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Ranma and Kasumi returned home late that night with smiles on their faces. Like the kids cutting curfew they were, they shambled as quietly as they could towards the house. His arm over her shoulder and her arm resting on top of his, the two martial artists looked like walking accident victims.
"Getting home late, are we?"
Lights flipped on and suddenly Ranma and Kasumi were staring at Nabiki and their parents in shock, a feeling that was equally returned.
Changing speeds quickly, Nabiki glared at Ranma. "What the hell did you do to my sister? That's not a cheap dress she's got rips in."
"My poor, little girl! Ranma, how dare you attack your fiancée! I'll kill you for harming Kasumi!"
Kasumi whapped Soun with her purse when he came within reach. "Bad father. Bad."
Ranma snickered. "Here, Nabiki. I didn't need it. Thanks."
The look on her sister's face when she got back her money made Kasumi giggle.
Nabiki may have been stunned, but she still stashed the money away quickly. She stared at the two martial artists oddly. "You . . . You had fun then, oneechan."
Kasumi smiled.
Ranma's shoulders were shaking with laughter though he tried to hold it in.
"We-We should get to bed, Nabiki," Kasumi giggled. "Rather tired after our date, you know. Very tired."
Ranma collapsed with laughter.
Getting a better hold of Ranma, Kasumi started dragging him towards the stairs. The underground arena fighting had worn them out after all.
End Chapter Six
* * *
I'm thinking of setting up a few crossovers in this story. Hard to say which ones since they usually just happen on accident, but I've got ideas.
Relationships are a little blurry right now. What does Ranma feel? What about Ryouga? Kasumi at least is not interested in any man in a romantic sense. That'd be icky.
Send C&C to jehtek@hotmail.com
Or visit my website at www.geocities.com/jehtek
Ja ne.