Disclaimer: Until someone breaks Ranma 1/2 doesn't belong to me, but when I steal it I will have the power. And if you ever want it back you will have to pay me . . . ONE HANDRED DOLLARS! Muwah-Muwahahahahahah! Then Austin Powers, you are mine!

Not A Dirty Word

Chapter Seven - The Calm within the Storm

By Michael Fetter

"What are we doing again?"

Pull, pull.

"This isn't, I dunno, dangerous'n stuff, is it?"

Pull, pull.

"Cause I'm not afraid a danger or nuthin. Danger's my middle name."

Pull, pull.

"And I trust you completely. Someone who has never trained hard until about a year ago."

"Look, shut up, little Ranma, or I'll drop this boulder early and cave your head in."

"Gotcha."

Pull, pull.

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Beginning the Bakusai Tenketsu training was a little rocky, but after the first few concussions, Ranma and Kasumi had a groove going.

"You know," Kasumi's voice slurred slightly as she hung upside down in her harness. "I'm not so sure this is safe."

". . ." the unconscious Ranma stated so eloquently that she would never forget. Then she passed out for a few hours.

The fire was crackling when Kasumi opened her eyes again. They'd only been at this for about a day and she was really starting to wonder about the sanity of the Amazon who must have designed this technique. Did the crazy, big-breasted man-hater think to herself, hey, I'd like to smash myself against a few boulders. Just for kicks.

Then, one day, years later, another amazon bimbo decides she doesn't like the hassle of throwing herself, why not make the boulder come to her! What a stupendous idea! And then, I'll get all the other simple-minded, no-clue, psychotic dips to call it an Amazon technique that way anyone who learns it will have to die because WE'RE ANAL LIKE THAT!!!

"Jeez. Are you all right, Kasumi." Ranma was holding Kasumi by the shoulders and it looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or be concerned. "People back home must heard ya. I bet."

"Huh?" Kasumi looked about the campsite they were sitting in, a number of birds fluttering around, still spooked by her screaming. "Did I actually say all of that," she wondered with a bit of awe.

"Yeah, but you kept saying ding and dang instead of any curse words."

"Dang."

Ranma cleared his throat and sat back down across from Kasumi and held out some of the camp food he cooked. "So about this training we're doing."

"Hmm?"

"You didn't tell me this was an Amazon technique."

She swallowed a little water from her canteen to wash down the salty food. "So?"

"Uh, well, I was wonderin how you knew about the Amazons."

Kasumi cursed, which ended up sounding like a name from the Bible. "Listen, little Ranma, we aren't supposed to know these techniques so you have to call them by some other name."

"If you say so." Ranma finished off his dinner with his usual gusto while Kasumi took her time. He decided to clean things himself since it took her so long to recover unlike him. Kasumi's aura was helping, but she needed conscious control to make it work. Ranma sat back down and stirred the fire. "So what do we call it?"

"Oh, something English so they'll think it came from North America. How about . . . Shatter Storm."

"Shitter Store?"

Kasumi eyed the pigtailed boy then rolled her eyes. "Still working on that English, huh?"

Ranma blushed, but didn't deny it.

"I'll think of something later. Just learn the technique for now."

He nodded and set down on his sleeping bag. A couple of days after their first date, Kasumi had decided they should train together more and he didn't mind. She wasn't a tomboy like Akane and it was easy to get along with her. It was strange though. Kasumi seemed to know things that he thought she shouldn't. Ranma supposed it didn't matter since they were going to learn it anyway.

When she came up with the idea to go out on a training trip the fathers were more than ready to let them go, alone, unsupervised, and with the idea they'd be married by the time they returned. It got Ranma thinking since he and Kasumi didn't talk much during the first couple of weeks and then suddenly here they were. Maybe the date really did break the ice. Ranma thought he understood Kasumi better anyway.

On the other side of the dying fire, Kasumi wondered for the hundredth time if she'd ever see her kitchen again. "Akane better have stayed away from my beautiful oven."

Maybe they weren't as connected as Ranma thought, but they were getting there.

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Things were coming along nicely.

There was nothing like massive blunt trauma to get the blood flowing.

Kasumi hung upside down in her harness with a pile of rubble that used to be a boulder on the ground beneath her. She tried to work up the strength to smile, but it just hurt too much. It took her three days longer to finish the training than it did Ranma. Kasumi didn't feel too bad about that. Ranma had an awesome learning curve when it came to the martial arts and being a few days behind was something she could live with.

Smiling, Ranma took a hold of her harness line and set her on the ground gently. "How ya feel?"

"Did I lose any teeth?"

He shook his head.

"Then it only feels worse than it is."

"Well," Ranma continued to undo the straps and then toss them aside when Kasumi was free. "Should we rest for today and head home tomorrow. I've missed like a week of school already."

"It's all right. I can help you catch up," said Kasumi with her eyes closed. She was just relaxing and planned to continue to do so for at least a few more hours. "Did you have fun?"

Ranma grinned.

Shaking her head, Kasumi chortled. She liked Ranma much better this way. At home he was always so nervous or quiet because he didn't know how to act around her. She was a real girl where Akane was a tomboy and Nabiki was a bitch, though he'd never say that. It was like having a little brother the way he started paling around with her. Kasumi also got some satisfaction about giving Ranma some early training to deal with what is to come. It would at least shock the hell out of that old ghoul whenever she and her great granddaughter showed up.

There was also the fact that Kasumi was playing a more active roll in Ranma's life now. More than likely she would be drawn into the chaos and she'd rather be prepared herself instead of relying on Ranma. That wasn't like Michael or Kasumi.

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Ranma had a brilliant idea.

Kasumi would at least call it that to make him feel better while he was recovering from being turned into a pancake.

Remember that remark about the Amazon that created the Bakusai Tenketsu training? Imagine an advanced version of such training in which the trainee is struck by not one, but two boulders at the same time. Except this time it is a dull-witted Japanese boy and not a big-breasted ditz.

"You're talking out loud again," Ranma groaned. He really shouldn't have tried to make up ridiculous training ideas on his own.

"I know. I meant for you to hear it, you dingbat." Kasumi frowned at him from where she was stirring a pot of their spare rations. "You should probably see Dr. Tofu when we get back. Your head looks a little thinner than it was."

"Nah, I'm fine." He tried to sit up and fell onto his back with a painful groan. "Just need a little rest."

Kasumi rolled her eyes and walked over with a bowl of food. He wasn't going to be able to eat in this position. Thinking a moment, she sat down behind the boy and pulled him up so his head was resting against her chest. "Silly boy. Now open up."

"I can feed myself," Ranma protested though he couldn't move to release himself.

"Come on, little Ranma." Kasumi held up the spoon and circled it around his head. "Here comes the airplane to land in the hangar."

He grumbled, but obligingly opened his mouth. "This is humiliatin."

"You'll simply have to endure this grave injustice for one night, surrounded by no one, who will mock and incriminate you for the rest of your life."

He tensed.

Kasumi bopped him on the head. "I said you don't have anyone to worry about since there is no one around who will even care."

"Oh."

The bowl was finished with less fuss. Setting it aside, Kasumi remained seated with Ranma resting against her chest. She started thinking about all the other techniques that she could teach him, but worried about how soon others were likely to arrive.

As she sat there, Kasumi concentrated on her aura and wrapping it about Ranma's body. Where Ranma's confident aura has helped him in the manga and likely accelerated his healing, Kasumi was almost certain that her tranquility was even stronger with curative powers. There was no hostility in her spirit that would interfere with the healing process. Without telling Ranma, Kasumi decided to see if she was right.

"Do you want to marry me?" Ranma asked out of the blue.

Kasumi fumbled for a response for a moment. "What?"

"I'm not askin or nuthin, but I was just wonderin since we're engaged an all."

Sighing, Kasumi wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Ranma was starting to look better already, some cuts on his arms were healing as she watched. "Don't worry about that right now. There's plenty of time."

"I was just sayin," Ranma started again, "cause I could ask to be engaged to Nabiki or Akane if ya want. I mean, there's that Tofu guy and he loves you already."

Kasumi didn't say anything and Ranma decided to drop it. He didn't really want an answer to that yet anyway.

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Coming back home felt like returning from a long journey. There were still questions running through Kasumi's mind, but she preferred to hold those off for later. Maybe they'd just go away given time. For now, she wanted a bath, a good meal, and to go over every inch of the house with a toothbrush.

Hey, you have your way to relax and Kasumi has hers.

"Home sweet home," Kasumi sighed as she held the door open for Ranma. They flipped off their shoes and dropped their packs with heavy thumps and the tension was released. "I get the first bath."

Ranma nodded.

Nabiki met them as they made it around the corner. She and the father's were looking a little pale and a light stream of smoke wafted out of the kitchen. "We-Welcome back you two," she stuttered.

The father's looked up slowly like two men resigned to their fates. Glassy eyes went clear as they recognized Kasumi and instantly both men were kneeling on either side of her, holding her hands and crying.

"Oh, Kasumi!" her father wailed, "I'm so happy to see you again!"

"I don't know how we made it without you!" Genma cried heavily though he seemed to stare out into space. Ranma waved his hand in front of his face and the man did not even blink.

Ranma pulled away, startled. "Uh, what happened to them?"

"Lunch!"

Kasumi and Ranma turned to the kitchen as everyone else in the room ducked behind the couch, shivering with fear. Akane stepped into the living room with a large bowl of something. Something, in this case, was a general term for something that looked like a two foot long living bugger, speckled with black spots that erupted with a brown gas.

Akane's progress stopped when she found Kasumi waiting for her. Glaring angrily, Akane slammed the bowl onto the table and stared her older sister in the eyes. "That victory was a fluke. I'm the best martial artist in Nerima and I want a rematch. No way is a prissy homemaker better than me!"

Kasumi blinked and then tilted her head slightly with an innocent smile. "So no grudges, huh?"

"Don't try it. It's not going to work this time, Kasumi." Akane jabbed her finger into Kasumi's chest and was only slightly surprised when she had to cradle it afterwards. "I challenge you. We'll see who the real heir to the Tendou School of Anything Goes is."

"You mean again," Kasumi corrected. "I've already earned that title. So you're going to try and challenge me for it again."

Akane's face burned red and took a moment to make sure she didn't explode. "Tomorrow in the dojo," she growled through clenched teeth. With that, Akane turned on her heel and stomped up the stairs to her room.

Kasumi waited for her little sister to slam her door before releasing her breath. She turned to the fathers with a stern look. "If you take care of this garbage quickly," she pointed at the bowl on the table, "I will make lunch."

Even half-blind, Genma was surprisingly quick to pick up on this task with Soun. There was a small explosion from where they must have tried to dump the 'food'.

Kasumi sighed and looked at Ranma. "You take the first bath. I'll get something made when you're done."

Still stunned, Ranma nodded and left for the furo.

"Oh, thank you!" Nabiki held Kasumi about the waist tightly. "I know what I said before, but I take it all back. I don't want you to leave ever again. Never ever. You are my favorite, safest cook in the world. Please don't leave me alone with Akane again!"

The girl had strength, Kasumi thought as her face turned a little blue. She must be delirious if she's pleading. Kasumi pulled the girl's arm away and led her towards the kitchen. Looking oblivious once again, Kasumi smiled cheerily. "So, has everything been okay while little Ranma and I were away?"

Nabiki sweatdropped. "No one died if that's what you mean."

Without looking, Kasumi reached beneath the sink for a flame-thrower and torched the stove. Bestial screams slowly tapered off after five minutes. Nabiki didn't flinch; must have been used to it by now.

"You should be careful tomorrow, sis," Nabiki warned as she sat down at the small kitchen table. "Akane's become obsessed with beating you. She's been training even into the night and I swear I saw her glowing a few times. She even skipped out on some Gymnastics Martial Arts challenge to continue her training."

Kasumi tried to frown at that. She gave up when her smile just brightened. Chiseling the excrement from the counter tops was a lot easier after the training with Ranma. Flipping a blackened piece into the garbage, Kasumi rinsed her hands with hot water and surgeon's soap. "I always thought Akane was spirited."

"Spirited isn't the word for it," Nabiki muttered. "So how was the trip with Ranma? Tell him you were gay yet?"

Kasumi stared at the rice bag she'd dropped.

Nabiki grinned. "It doesn't matter to me, oneechan. Whatever makes you happy, and who knows? Maybe Ranma would be into that kind of thing."

"That kind of thing?" Kasumi cocked her head to one side in thought.

Rolling her eyes, Nabiki nodded. "He is a girl half of the time. I certainly don't buy into that manly crap he and his father have been spouting since they got here. Ranma's overcompensating a wee bit methinks."

A brief fantasy of a sweaty, sexually satisfied Ranma-chan entered Kasumi's mind. "I wouldn't force little Ranma to do something unnatural."

"You're blushing," Nabiki grinned. "Hey, Ranma could handle a little it and you could probably do a little in return."

Kasumi nodded. "It would be fair," but it's still not going to happen, she added silently. Sex with a man? Him sticking that in there? Kasumi would sooner declare herself celibate and burn off her erogenous zones with a hot poker.

"So what sort of training were you two doing anyway?"

Smiling, Kasumi started preparing and edible lunch. "Oh, you know, the usual."

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A few months later, Ranma met up with Herb, prince of the Musk. The two came to blows and it ended with Ranma being splashed by the Closed Water Ladle. Kasumi made all the appropriate soothing remarks while cheering internally. After that she began to teach Ranma the many uses of her new permanent form. She made the redhead scream with pleasure for hours. Scream and scream and

-BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEP!

"Huh? Wha?" The alarm clock met a swift end as Kasumi smashed it easily upon awakening.

Staring blankly at her Spartan room, Kasumi slowly sat up and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes. "Damn, Nabiki," she cursed with Ned Flander like flare, "Now she's got me all hot and bothered thinking about it."

It was early morning the day after she and Ranma returned from their training trip. Kasumi usually got up early to start breakfast and get a head start on her chores. There would be plenty to do after more than a week of neglect. With a yawn, she untangled herself from her sheets. The bed was a mess and a slight stain in the center made her blush. Stupid dream.

Grabbing some clothes, Kasumi left for the furo, uncaring of her nudity. No one else would be awake now anyway.

"It's ridiculous," Kasumi told herself. "It would never work out. Ranma would expect to be a guy at least some of the time and I couldn't just trap him in his cursed form. Darn body would probably have me beating myself every night. Though it would have been nice." She sighed and opened the furo door and stepped into the changing room. "I'm an adult anyway so I can refuse and it's not like father would be upset with me. He'd just move the engagement to someone else. Although, I don't think Ranma wants to marry Nabiki or Akane. I suppose I could just hold off until Akane is eighteen also so no one has to go through with it."

Thinking that over for a moment, Kasumi set her clothes down and nodded to herself. It was a good plan. No one, even now, argued with Kasumi Tendou. "It's too bad though," Kasumi noted with a wry grin, "little Ranma-chan is a sexy little vixen."

She opened the door.

Ranma-chan sat frozen on one of the stools in the middle of splashing herself with one of the buckets of water. Her body was already a bright pink when Kasumi entered. As they stood there silently, Ranma had the time to look over Kasumi's body and let her blush increase a few more notches.

"This is awkward," said Kasumi.

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Akane was already in the dojo when she arrived. Her yellow gi was starting to fray around the cuffs and collar. While it looked like Akane was meditating, the angry red aura surrounding her suggested otherwise. Akane was focusing her anger and hatred into her battle aura and aiming it all at Kasumi.

Kasumi paused when her little sister's eyes opened and for a moment they looked like they burned with fire.

Ranma and the others took seats around the dojo to witness the battle. The boy blushed when he looked at Kasumi, but thankfully no one else had noticed yet.

"Are you ready?" It sounded more like a demand rather than a question. Akane stood up and stepped right into a fighting stance.

Kasumi could say something corny about fighting angry, but she decided to hold it back. Akane was angry and it might be better to let her just get it out a little. "I am, little sister," Kasumi answered, standing loosely with her arms raised.

Rather than the gi Akane wore, Kasumi had settled for some loose pants and blouse. Her hair was tied back with a blue ribbon and her feet were bare. As Akane's aura was already flaring, Kasumi built up her own though she kept it out of sight.

Swallowing, Ranma stepped between the two and raised one hand. "To knockout or forfeit. Winner is the heir to the Tendou School of Anything Goes." When both girls nodded Ranma dropped his hand and jumped back to the sides. "Fight!"

Kasumi quickly discovered what Nabiki had been talking about. Akane's attacks were still straightforward and simple, her speed the same, but her focus was greater. Akane had cut down on the wasted motion and was no longer swinging blindly like she would for a mob of boys. This put more power behind her punches and gave her greater accuracy.

Blocking one punch, Kasumi wasn't ready for the snap kick that caught her in the stomach and sent her flying across the dojo and through the wall.

"Kasumi!" Ranma called out. His father held him back for the moment.

The dust settled and everyone saw the eldest Tendou daughter walking back through the wall and smiling gently. "You seem angry, little sister. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Akane growled and rushed forward.

Rather than stay in one place, Kasumi began to bob around the room like Ranma would in their sparring matches. Finishing the fight with fists wasn't going to settle whatever Akane's problem was. Kasumi would draw the fight out and try to get through to her sister.

Ducking a kick and back flipping over the next, Kasumi extended a finger that touched a point on Akane's left elbow. "You know there are other ways to become the heir to the Tendou School, Akane. All you have to do is train a little."

"And what do you think I've been doing, Kasumi," the girl growled back. Her left hand went limp so she just jabbed out with her elbow instead.

Taking a hold of the arm, Kasumi pulled Akane through and dropped her to the ground on her back. "I'm not sure, Akane. You break a lot of bricks and beat up some boys, but I don't think that's training."

Sweeping her feet out, Akane rolled off of the floor. "I've been training since I was six. You stopped. I had to learn on my own how to fight."

"Yes, I stopped," Kasumi agreed. "But all I had to do was ask father to train me again when I was ready. You could have done the same."

"He wouldn't train me. Daddy was happy to just forget about us and cry over mom!" Tears started to well up in Akane's eyes, but she pushed them away with another burst of her aura and attacked again. "He didn't care what we needed. So I wasn't going to ask. He gave up on us so why should I give a shit about him!"

Caught off guard, Kasumi took a hit to the chin that through her onto her back. Continuing to roll backwards and onto her feet, Kasumi dodged the axe kick that would have caught her knee. Akane was raising the stakes the longer this match played out. Rushing forward, Kasumi flowed around an uppercut and thrust her knee into Akane's stomach and picked up a quick turning kick to her sister's head to put some distance between them.

"We all missed mother, Akane. It was going to take some time for any of us to get over her death, but that doesn't mean father stopped caring." Kasumi watched her sister work out her neck and take a new stance. "He was always worried about you when you got into fights at school. Father was always there when you needed him. But that has nothing to do with this fight, does it?"

Akane remained where she was silently. She still scowled, but Akane's eyes had looked away from Kasumi. Maybe from shame? Her aura picked up again and she glared at her sister. "I don't care. I'm the heir, not you. I've been training on my own for ten years. It may not be Anything Goes, but I'm still the best martial artist in Nerima!"

Sighing, Kasumi tilted her head out of the way of the first punch. Falling into a handstand, Kasumi thrust both of her heels into Akane's chin.

The younger sister took the hit full on and bounced off of the ceiling. Akane wasn't unconscious when she landed, but she very wobbly on her feet.

Closing her eyes, Kasumi concentrated on her aura again and brought it out to let it float like feathery clouds about her body. Calmly and quietly she strode right up to her little sister and placed both hands on her shoulders. Kasumi kissed her younger sister and allowed a part of her aura to flow through the connection. Akane's red battle aura died out in a few moments and the girl was left sobbing silently.

"It's . . it's just not fair," Akane whimpered and hugged her older sister tightly. "I try so hard to be like mom, but I can't do it. I know I can't cook very well, but I thought that was okay so long as I was a martial artist like she was."

So the truth came out. Kasumi stared at the girl sadly and let her cry against her chest. Akane was upset that she couldn't be like their mother. The woman raised three children and helped father in the dojo. Those were the standards Akane had set herself to. Those were the standards only Kasumi had met and Akane never would.

Kasumi cooed her sister for a moment and sat her down on the floor where Akane continued to cling to her. "It's all right, Akane. Mother was a special person, but so are you. Mother had many talents, but so do you. Those are the things that make you special."

Tears streaming down her face, Akane looked at her sister in confusion.

"Mother was the best person she could be, but there was only one of her. No one else can be mother, not even me."

Akane shook her head. "But- . . ."

Smiling sadly, Kasumi strung her fingers through Akane's long, blue hair. "To truly honor mother we must be the best we can be, not replace her."

"I miss her."

"I know, little sister, but you don't have to worry." Kasumi pulled at the small gold cross hanging around her neck. With practiced ease she undid the clasp. "Mother is in heaven now, but she is also with us."

Akane stared at the cross sitting in her sister's hand. It used to be mother's, but she left it to Kasumi as a gift.

"I have my faith," Kasumi smiled and placed the necklace on Akane. "Maybe this will help you find yours."

Tears spilling over her cheeks, Akane touched the little cross resting against her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and buried her head in Kasumi's bosom. "I love you, oneechan. I'm sorry I was bad."

"I love you too, little sister." Kasumi and Akane sat there on the dojo floor. They didn't care about the people watching or that the fight had been forgotten. There was never a reason to fight in the first place.

"Real Kodak moment, eh Ranma?"

Ranma stared at Nabiki a moment. Despite her uncaring attitude, he could see the strain in her eyes as they tried to hold back tears. He gave her a little nudge towards her sisters and then pulled his father out of the dojo to give them some privacy.

Soun remained where he was for a long time, a sad and happy smile on his face.

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"Kasumi?"

"I'm up here, little Ranma," she called back. Kasumi had been sitting up on the roof since dinner was finished. Akane seemed much better now, calmer if nothing else. The fight hadn't settled everything for Akane except as far as Kasumi and their mother was concerned. Hopefully from here on out things would continue to get better.

Kasumi did feel a little loss without the cross around her neck, but she didn't need it anymore. Since Michael had arrived she didn't have those doubts Akane was suffering from anymore. A little outside perspective had set her straight.

A shadow crossed the moon as Ranma leapt onto the roof and smirked at her. "Heh, thought I was the only one who went up here." He strolled over calmly and sat down next her, more comfortable after the time they started spending around each other. "Are you an Akane alright now?"

"She'll get there eventually." Opening her eyes, Kasumi stared at Ranma with a little twinkle in her eyes. "So what did you think?"

"About what?" he looked at her confused.

"Why, my devastating ki attack of course."

"Huh?"

"I'm thinking of calling it," Kasumi twirled once and bent over slightly with a hand at her mouth like she was blowing a kiss, "the SUGAR HEART KISS ATTACK!" When she caught Ranma's incredulous look she shrugged and sat back down. "That or Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss, but that sounds cheesy."

Laughing heartily, Ranma leaned over and placed a kiss on Kasumi's lips. He smiled, "Only you, Kasumi."

Kasumi blinked

A moment later, Kasumi left the boy with his face embedded in the roof as she stormed off. "Pervert."

End Chapter Seven

* * *

Gag me with a spoon. That was a little touchy-feelly at the end there. Stuff like that won't happen too often, but then again this is Kasumi's life. The Ranma 1/2 story line is going to start falling apart even faster now with the changes the new Kasumi has started.

Next on 'Not a Dirty Word': Ryouga Returns!

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Ja ne.