~*~*~*~*~
My God seems so horrible to you
But why should that be so?
My God does not judge
Condemn
Punish
Abuse
Allow injustice or suffering
Maybe I should have given my poem the title
My God does not hate me
Because that is also true
~*~*~*~*~
But then
Would that make a difference in your minds?
You say that life would not be worth living
Without the love of my God
Why?
Why do I need the love of my God so badly?
It is enough that I am given life
This precious gift
This wondrous world to wander in
Hands
Feet
Arms
Lips
All this and more
Has my God given me
I do not require love from the creator
And certainly not unconditional love
~*~*~*~*~
Why are you so scared of simply existing?
To exist is an amazing thing
That beings should live
Grow
Touch hands
And return back to the earth that nourished them
Is this not miraculous in itself?
What need have I for heaven
When all this surrounds me?
You say that sorrow is human nature
Maybe it is
~*~*~*~*~
But I tell you now
Suffering is not human nature
Nor has it ever had to be
Man was not doomed from the start
We are not cursed beings
Nor are we unnatural
How can we be,
When we are part of nature itself
As sure as any chrysalis
Or deer
Or cherry blossom
Carefully crafted
With my God sparking the fire of life in each of us
With no classification in mind
Saying "you are to rule"
And "you are to serve"
My God says
To all of its creations
Live and be content
For the spark of life can last as long as a heartbeat
And you must choose wisely how you will spend that heartbeat
For I cannot choose for you
~*~*~*~*~
So
But just because my God does not love me
Does not mean that I live my life
In the absence of love
Rather I have found an overflowing fountain
Of the most tender of loves
And compassion
Which at times, I think, can be even greater then love
In those who I have touched
And who reach out to touch me
In this brief heartbeat we share
All the more precious for its fragility
~*~*~*~*~
And just because my God does not love me
Does not mean that my God does not love
If your interpretation of love
(if such a thing can be interpreted)
is anything like mine
The act of creation is an act of love
As any artist
Or writer
Sculptor
Master craftsman
Or poet will tell you
The miracle at making something wonderfully complex
And yet simple and clear as rainwater
Breathing life into what was once dead
Breathing life into that which has not been
Mathematically perfect system
With the cracks and flaws that show individuality
A weakness for those who require perfection
A blessing for those who treasure their rarity
~*~*~*~*~
My God's love is for creating
But not for its creations
And really I must copy
When I say that I love not each individual word
But the simple pleasure
Of combining them to form a pleasant sound
And quiet thought
And cool reflection
That is why I write
Not for the story
But the process and the joy I take from it
The act of love I am committing
By creating
~*~*~*~*~
You say that my God is false
And that one day I may see the truth
And I must shake my head politely
And commend you for your faith
Or stubbornness
Whichever it is it is of no matter to me
You may believe what you wish
My God cares not what religion
Its creations use to soothe and comfort them
When society has made them turn to such comforts
But I do not fear non-existence
Or existence for existence's sake
With no purpose or plan mapped out for me
To give meaning to my life
For I know that life has meaning
With or without religion
Because I am here now
One heartbeat melting into thousands
Imprinting myself into the earth
Like a depression of my body in grass
Imprinting myself into the minds of others
Who touched and were touched by me
Imprinting myself, my act of love, on paper
So that others can see my spark
Long after it has expired
~*~*~*~*~
You say I am not liberated
But I claim that I am more free then you
Who must earn the acceptance of your own God
Who cannot embrace you with the imperfections
He himself gave unto you
I do not require the acceptance of my God
My joy in living is enough
My God requires no love or allegiance from me
That I live is my God's joy
~*~*~*~*~
The world is not horrible
The world is not cruel
Or out to get us
Or something to be tamed
Conquered
Subdued
Civilized
It is our home and our womb
Our mother and our child
A delicately balanced system
Where we once fit happily
And can do so again
But it is not my God's job
To ensure that we uphold the balance
Correct us when we are wrong
Wage war for our souls
We must make ourselves work
For a better future
And not expect divine intervention
And an afterlife in which to repair our mistakes
Know what you are
But always strive for what you can become
That is the passion and beauty
of humanity