Spike Evil grinned broadly revealing a mouthful of wicked looking teeth. His evil associates around him grinned back, Frau Morgan, Number Dru, Mini Annointed Me. Well, everyone except Connor. There was just no pleasing some evil.

"I've developed a devious plan," he announced to his evil minions, "to take over the world. And just to make sure that Angel Danger Powers and his annoying Investigative team don't ruin my plans, I've hired another ruthless evil villian - Goldfanger - to kidnap his father from 1750."

"Goldfanger?" Frau Morgan enquired.

"Yes," said Spike, "a vampire who likes gold so much they say he even lost his fangs in an unfortunate smelting accident." He was suddenly distracted by a loud purring coming from Mini Annointed Me's lap.

"Mini Me!" he chided, "Don't pet it. Gnaw on your kitty!" He turned back to the others.

"As I was saying," he continued, "Angel will be so distracted in his chase to rescue his father, he won't notice my evil scheme which I've ingeniously named Project Hellmouth." Connor snorted in amusement.

"What? I said something you found funny?" Spike Evil demanded. He had to reign in the temptation to eat the boy. The slurping sounds of Mini Annointed Me gnawing on his kitty helped calm him.

"Yeah," Connor replied, "Project Hellmouth, that's original! No one's going to crack that code. You might has well have named it Project I'm Going To Try and Reopen The Hellmouth, Please Come And Stop Me." He sneered.

"Connor," Spike growled, "You just don't get it do you. Maybe if you were a little more evil… You're just not evil enough Connor, are you." Connor scowled and hated Spike Evil with an even greater fury. No matter what he did, it was that miniature peewee clone that always seemed to win out. Just to rub it in, Spike petted the Annoying One.

"Oh!" exclaimed Number Dru suddenly, drawing everyone's attention, "Keyring's lost a key. Slipped down the drain hole. Keyring's lost a key and murderer's lose in the house. So much death. It's so pretty." Spike smiled, leaned across and took Dru's hand in his own.

"That's right pet," he encouraged lovingly, "the keyring has lost a key… and we've got it! Frau Morgan…?"

Frau Morgan nodded calmly, and then suddenly screeched, "Bring in the girl!" Everyone rubbed their ears in an effort to regain their hearing. At the far end of Spike Evil's secret underground lair, several unnamed minions dragged a small struggling figure into the room.

"You'll never get away with this!" a feminine voice threatened before the underlings managed to subdue her.

"On the contrary," Spike replied, spinning his chair to face the girl, "There's no one who can stop me now," he turned back to his evil gang, "Allow me to introduce Dawn Summers. She may look like a mere girl, but she is in fact a magical key to a demon dimension and, using her, we can open a portal to that dimension and end the whole world! That is, unless, they pay us one million trillion dollars!"

Connor gagged.

"What is it now!?" Spike demanded angrily.

"Big Mr. Scaryfang," Connor taunted, "I thought you were a vampire, what do you want with a trillion dollars?"

"Hmmm," Spike pondered. For once the boy had a point, "Frau Morgan, how long will it take to prepare for the ritual?"

"We could be ready by midnight tonight." Frau Morgan smiled.

"Excellent," Spike rubbed his hands together, "All Goldfanger has to do is keep Angel busy until then. Frau, prepare the ritual. Number Dru, I want you to make sure everything goes as planned with Angel Powers. Mini me, come with me… Oh… and you, Connor, go… guard the sacrifice or something."

Connor snarled at their retreating backs. He was always left with the annoying jobs. Just wait! He wouldn't take this much longer. He looked across at the struggling key-girl as the evil unnamed henchmen dragged her back to her prison cell on a small island surrounded by a poolful of sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. He thought she looked kinda pretty, for a key-thing.