Preparing
Sydney hated to admit to herself that she felt the need to talk to the psychiatrist today. When she'd first been ordered to see her, Sydney had gone with great reluctance. She'd told the woman as little as possible, finding her to be prying. At times she asked the oddest questions!
Now, after the phone call her father had gotten following Emily's funeral, Sydney simply needed a completely objective person to talk to. She couldn't go to Vaughn, considering what her mother had done to his father. She wanted to go to him as she usually did, but decided it would be unfair, and selfish.
Sydney's own father was also out of the question. She'd seen the surprise and hurt stamped like black ink all over his features. He was dealing with enough of his own feelings without having to listen to Sydney's own concerns. There was no one else she liked that she could turn to. Therefore, Barnett was her final option.
The main problem she had going to Barnett was this: people who went to doctors like her were seen as weaklings. It didn't take a terribly observant person to pick up on that. People would never give her grief over going to a friend-- like Vaughn-- for advice. But as soon as it was an official doctor, the whole picture changed. That seemed unfair, and it angered Sydney that she had fallen in line with stereotypical thought herself. But there it was.
Despite all of that, Sydney decided that going back to talk to Barnett was better than burdening people she cared about. It was also better than keeping it inside... like her father did. She'd seen what that did to him. She was never the type to take comfort from a bottle. It certainly wouldn't help anything.
Still, as Sydney gathered herself before entering Barnett's office, she made a vow to herself. This would not become a habit, stopping in to see a shrink once a week. Soon enough, there would be plenty of work to focus on. And she would have Vaughn to talk to. He was a better listener anyway.
In spite of herself, Sydney felt an undercurrent of anger when she finally entered the doctor's office. She needed to talk, yes. But she didn't like being here. She kept her emotions in check in this office. She didn't need her feelings "analyzed." That was not why she came here. She came to talk things out, get past them, and be done with it.
At the moment, as she took a seat in front of Barnett's desk, it was difficult not to cry. Sydney simply drew on her stubborn nature, and felt better again. She was not going to cry in front of this woman. She wasn't feeling that vulnerable anymore, and she wouldn't share her emotions-- besides anger-- with someone like Barnett.
Sydney resolved to leave here ready to face her mother, and whatever her plans might be. Any tears Sydney felt the need to shed in the coming weeks and months, Vaughn alone would likely be the one to see them. That was exactly the way she wanted it. He never made her feel weak for expressing her feelings. He'd told her once that she was the strongest person he knew, and he'd meant it completely.
Venting her thoughts and feelings made her stronger, ready to move on to whatever needed to be tackled next. It was that simple. Sydney had always been that way, and always would be. Despite her reservations about speaking to Barnett, Sydney knew she wasn't really a codependent Barbie doll for needing someone to talk to. Her earlier thoughts had been erroneous.
She had a job to do. Find out what her mother was up to, and stop her if necessary. Talking to this annoying woman would help her be prepared to do that. Starting at this moment, as she told the doctor what had happened that morning, she felt herself becoming energized. Ridding herself of all the worry and fear over what might be in store. Sydney Bristow now felt ready to face whatever might come next. Heaven help anyone who gets in my way, she thought as she left.
Sydney hated to admit to herself that she felt the need to talk to the psychiatrist today. When she'd first been ordered to see her, Sydney had gone with great reluctance. She'd told the woman as little as possible, finding her to be prying. At times she asked the oddest questions!
Now, after the phone call her father had gotten following Emily's funeral, Sydney simply needed a completely objective person to talk to. She couldn't go to Vaughn, considering what her mother had done to his father. She wanted to go to him as she usually did, but decided it would be unfair, and selfish.
Sydney's own father was also out of the question. She'd seen the surprise and hurt stamped like black ink all over his features. He was dealing with enough of his own feelings without having to listen to Sydney's own concerns. There was no one else she liked that she could turn to. Therefore, Barnett was her final option.
The main problem she had going to Barnett was this: people who went to doctors like her were seen as weaklings. It didn't take a terribly observant person to pick up on that. People would never give her grief over going to a friend-- like Vaughn-- for advice. But as soon as it was an official doctor, the whole picture changed. That seemed unfair, and it angered Sydney that she had fallen in line with stereotypical thought herself. But there it was.
Despite all of that, Sydney decided that going back to talk to Barnett was better than burdening people she cared about. It was also better than keeping it inside... like her father did. She'd seen what that did to him. She was never the type to take comfort from a bottle. It certainly wouldn't help anything.
Still, as Sydney gathered herself before entering Barnett's office, she made a vow to herself. This would not become a habit, stopping in to see a shrink once a week. Soon enough, there would be plenty of work to focus on. And she would have Vaughn to talk to. He was a better listener anyway.
In spite of herself, Sydney felt an undercurrent of anger when she finally entered the doctor's office. She needed to talk, yes. But she didn't like being here. She kept her emotions in check in this office. She didn't need her feelings "analyzed." That was not why she came here. She came to talk things out, get past them, and be done with it.
At the moment, as she took a seat in front of Barnett's desk, it was difficult not to cry. Sydney simply drew on her stubborn nature, and felt better again. She was not going to cry in front of this woman. She wasn't feeling that vulnerable anymore, and she wouldn't share her emotions-- besides anger-- with someone like Barnett.
Sydney resolved to leave here ready to face her mother, and whatever her plans might be. Any tears Sydney felt the need to shed in the coming weeks and months, Vaughn alone would likely be the one to see them. That was exactly the way she wanted it. He never made her feel weak for expressing her feelings. He'd told her once that she was the strongest person he knew, and he'd meant it completely.
Venting her thoughts and feelings made her stronger, ready to move on to whatever needed to be tackled next. It was that simple. Sydney had always been that way, and always would be. Despite her reservations about speaking to Barnett, Sydney knew she wasn't really a codependent Barbie doll for needing someone to talk to. Her earlier thoughts had been erroneous.
She had a job to do. Find out what her mother was up to, and stop her if necessary. Talking to this annoying woman would help her be prepared to do that. Starting at this moment, as she told the doctor what had happened that morning, she felt herself becoming energized. Ridding herself of all the worry and fear over what might be in store. Sydney Bristow now felt ready to face whatever might come next. Heaven help anyone who gets in my way, she thought as she left.