Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.
Only A Memory Away
By: Lirial Raito
Chapter 12: I Want A Normal Life
[Last time]
"Then when the world went into it's long cold sleep, we awoke. Our mission then became to ensure that Earth was protected from attack while you slept, and we did well for a while. Then Kit decided to play one of her jokes on all of the Queen's court, altering the memories people had of the Queen being Usagi-san. When the world awoke only Serenity remembered that the Senshi were real, and her beloved friends. Only she remembered that Mamoru- san and Chibi-Usa were her family."
"Everything seems to have turned out fine, here in the end, but who knows? Serenity, you still…."
Usagi fell further into sleep instead of waking, and in her dreams Perurru watched over her.
[Now, one month later]
Usagi sat quietly, listening to another dull meeting with one of the secretaries of science that had come to the Queen, insisting that he be granted permission to Terra Form the moon. Serenity was trying to diplomatically tell him no, but the annoying weasel wasn't listening.
"But your majesty! We must terra form and colonize the moon, the earth will soon be over filled with people, and unable to support new life!"
Serenity sighed, placing her hands in her lap. "No."
"But your Majesty!!!" His voice rose to a whining scream of a three year old denied his way, eyes bulging slightly from his blood red face.
::How disgusting:: thought Usagi, wanting desperately out of this meeting. She remembered now, with all her Senshi gathered to her, remembered her childhood and her destiny, and battles that never happened. This meeting was a clincher in her decision that being royal wasn't the life she wanted, no matter how long she had yearned for her mother's presence. A month had passed since she had touched the floating broach and became Sailor Moon, a month since she had recovered the memories of her love, Helios, and her status of the Neo Moon Princess.
And now she detested the thought.
Why couldn't she have been introduced gradually, instead of her Senshi coming to her all at once? Why hadn't fate allowed her to regain some sense of closeness to the Queen before confirming their familial ties? She held firm to the belief that this wasn't right. Things shouldn't have happened this way. Too cruel…
Serenity stood to smile icily at the man, shaking Usagi from her thoughts.
"I said 'no', Dr. Stratic, and I meant no. For now. Perhaps when my daughter comes into her full powers as the Moon Princess you may ask *her* permission to terra form the Moon, but not at the moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a previous engagement to attend."
With that Serenity walked out of the room, leaving Dr. Stratic gaping in her wake. Usagi repressed her laughter, bowed to the annoying man, and followed after the Queen. And there again she was having a hard time… even though the Queen was her mother, Usagi couldn't bring herself to call her mother. The graceful creature her mother was seemed to far beyond Usagi's reach, and ruling the planet left the Queen little time to close that distance. But she was trying, when she could. Like now… Usagi was her 'previous engagement,' and they would be having lunch together.
As she followed Serenity down the crystalline hallway she allowed her mind to wonder away again, and admire the beauty of the palace. From the outside the palace looked like clear quartz, though no one could see into the palace. But the sights within were quite another story. The current hall they passed through lent to the sunlight a pale green hue, gently reenergizing Usagi after that meeting.
There were several different colors, presumably one for each of her mother's Senshi. Clear, blue, red, green, yellow, aqua, purple-grey, dark purple, gold and blue… Each different color of light seemed to have a purpose, but she had yet to figure them all out. She had been told that if she were injured, to come here, to the green hallway, so she assumed that the green light could heal wounds.
Not even Ami could clearly explain the purposes of the lights, or why some, like those associated with the outers, could be two toned. But she accepted that this was just the way things were, perhaps done long ago to amuse Usagi-san, before she ascended to Neo Queen Serenity. She knew that her mom had been very childish… she remembered fighting with her, even after finding out that she and Mamoru were her parents. She hadn't been very much like a queen should be.
A shift in the color of light informed Usagi that Serenity had reached the garden where she planned on having lunch with Usagi. She shielded her eyes to the sudden color shift, the bright sunshine harsher than anything inside of the Palace.
This garden had only one entrance, if you discounted the lack of a roof that would allow a Senshi to jump onto the roof, and was circular. A fountain was located in the middle, the figure that of a woman Usagi had never seen before, but resembling Serenity. Small pink flowers with a soft fragrance comprised all of the foliage here. A green blanket was laid out in front of the fountain, with two cushy pillows and a lunch that only Makoto could have made. Serenity placed herself on one of the cushions and looked up expectantly at Usagi.
With a sigh she lowered herself onto the other pillow, avoiding the Queen's eyes.
Serenity frowned slightly, reaching out gently and brushing a strand of hair from Usagi's eyes, "Darling, what's wrong? I though you'd like a picnic." Her blue eyes shadowed with concern as Usagi raised her head to look up at her.
"I'm sorry Serenity, but I still don't feel very comfortable around you… I know you're my mother, but I don't feel… right, being a princess. I've always wanted my mother back, but I also want a nice, normal life."
Her eyes held a guilty look at the pain that flashed across Serenity's face, though that pain was quickly hidden.
"I see."
She stared down at the picnic she had arranged, wondering what it would take to get her daughter back. "well…" she continued, not looking up, "I can't accommodate you in everything. You may leave here, and live the life you choose. I won't force you into being the princess as I was."
She stood and walked back to the hallway entrance, glancing back at her daughter with tears in her eyes, "Goodbye Chiba Usagi. I shouldn't have been so selfish as to force you to be the princess. Please forgive me."
= = =
Usagi watched silently, her face alit in shock, as the Queen bid her farewell after granting her a normal life, and walked away. She sat there, unable to bring herself to move, one thought echoing through her mind.
::What have I done?::
= = =
Mamoru paced around the Palace, looking for his daughter. ::Now where did she go? Surely lunch with Serenity couldn't have lasted so long.:: He passed from the blue hall into the green and stopped to stare out through the crystal. So clear, no matter what color… like her. His thoughts were turning towards Serenity more and more often, now that he was able to see her on a day-to-day basis. Those wonderful blue eyes, her golden and silver hair, regal and kind manner, her generosity and grace… everything about her was perfect. Far more perfect than Usagi-san had been.
He shook his head to clear that thought. He had loved Usagi-san, or at least, he believed that he did. Yet the more he was around Serenity, the more different the two seemed. Serenity is as she was before, his beloved moon princess, and not the clumsy, lazy, and jealous odango ata…
::Kuso! There I go again, comparing who she was to who she is… did I only love her for who she was before she was reborn? Am I only falling in love with her again, because she had become her princess self again, now queen?::
He sighed, upset with himself again. He had loved Princess Serenity more than he had ever cared for Usagi-san, and deep down he knew that he cared for the Queen because she had resumed being his Serenity… had he ever really loved Usagi-san?
He wasn't sure anymore.
= = =
Usagi wondered slowly to her bedroom, passing silently by Mamoru without saying anything. Her face was burnt from staying out in the sun all day, but as she made her way down the green hallway, the gently light soothed away, and then healed, her skin. She was so confused… what did she really want? Was having a normal life more important to her than having her mother? And what about her friends? They all had positions here at the Palace, and had decided to resume their Senshi training. Could she leave them behind? Specifically, could she leave Hotaru behind?
She sighed, knowing the answer already. No matter how normal she wanted her life to be, she couldn't have that life without her friends, they were too important to her. And now she had to apologize to her mother, and try to work things out. At least she could be certain that Serenity would accept her apology and give her a second chance. Could she make the most of it?
She had meant to go to her room and write a letter of apology, but her feet found their way to Serenity's door. The hallway began to spin around her, and she leaned against the door. ::I don't understand… the green hallway.. I should be fine… ::
As things went black, she wondered is Serenity was in her room.
= = =
Serenity pushed the strands of hair out of Usagi's eyes, wondering when she would awaken. The window in Usagi's room was open, letting in a gentle night breeze that made the Queen's effort to get Usagi's hair in place nearly impossible. She didn't really mind though, content in being by her daughter's side after so long.
A small sigh escaped from her lips as the moonlight broke through the clouds that had appeared three nights ago, after Usagi had passed out. The silvery light rested gently upon the Princess, making her look like a little child again. Her little angel… she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss upon her brow before standing to leave.
She took a lingering look at Usagi, wondering sadly if she could regain her daughter's trust. Perhaps she did have a chance… what had she wanted to say to Serenity, before passing out? Why had she gone to the Queen's room? Her hope was for yet another chance to be with her daughter again, to have her family whole. Would she get that chance?
As the door to the Princess's room clicked shut, Usagi rolled over onto her side with a soft whimper, curling into a ball. Her dreams were filled with her memories of being Sailor Mini Moon, her times in the past, and her previous dreams for the future. When her dreams turned violent or sad, there was always a boy with shiny wings who soothed them away, assuring her of a better dream, and a better tomorrow.
- - -
To Be Continued:
Only A Memory Away
By: Lirial Raito
Chapter 12: I Want A Normal Life
[Last time]
"Then when the world went into it's long cold sleep, we awoke. Our mission then became to ensure that Earth was protected from attack while you slept, and we did well for a while. Then Kit decided to play one of her jokes on all of the Queen's court, altering the memories people had of the Queen being Usagi-san. When the world awoke only Serenity remembered that the Senshi were real, and her beloved friends. Only she remembered that Mamoru- san and Chibi-Usa were her family."
"Everything seems to have turned out fine, here in the end, but who knows? Serenity, you still…."
Usagi fell further into sleep instead of waking, and in her dreams Perurru watched over her.
[Now, one month later]
Usagi sat quietly, listening to another dull meeting with one of the secretaries of science that had come to the Queen, insisting that he be granted permission to Terra Form the moon. Serenity was trying to diplomatically tell him no, but the annoying weasel wasn't listening.
"But your majesty! We must terra form and colonize the moon, the earth will soon be over filled with people, and unable to support new life!"
Serenity sighed, placing her hands in her lap. "No."
"But your Majesty!!!" His voice rose to a whining scream of a three year old denied his way, eyes bulging slightly from his blood red face.
::How disgusting:: thought Usagi, wanting desperately out of this meeting. She remembered now, with all her Senshi gathered to her, remembered her childhood and her destiny, and battles that never happened. This meeting was a clincher in her decision that being royal wasn't the life she wanted, no matter how long she had yearned for her mother's presence. A month had passed since she had touched the floating broach and became Sailor Moon, a month since she had recovered the memories of her love, Helios, and her status of the Neo Moon Princess.
And now she detested the thought.
Why couldn't she have been introduced gradually, instead of her Senshi coming to her all at once? Why hadn't fate allowed her to regain some sense of closeness to the Queen before confirming their familial ties? She held firm to the belief that this wasn't right. Things shouldn't have happened this way. Too cruel…
Serenity stood to smile icily at the man, shaking Usagi from her thoughts.
"I said 'no', Dr. Stratic, and I meant no. For now. Perhaps when my daughter comes into her full powers as the Moon Princess you may ask *her* permission to terra form the Moon, but not at the moment. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a previous engagement to attend."
With that Serenity walked out of the room, leaving Dr. Stratic gaping in her wake. Usagi repressed her laughter, bowed to the annoying man, and followed after the Queen. And there again she was having a hard time… even though the Queen was her mother, Usagi couldn't bring herself to call her mother. The graceful creature her mother was seemed to far beyond Usagi's reach, and ruling the planet left the Queen little time to close that distance. But she was trying, when she could. Like now… Usagi was her 'previous engagement,' and they would be having lunch together.
As she followed Serenity down the crystalline hallway she allowed her mind to wonder away again, and admire the beauty of the palace. From the outside the palace looked like clear quartz, though no one could see into the palace. But the sights within were quite another story. The current hall they passed through lent to the sunlight a pale green hue, gently reenergizing Usagi after that meeting.
There were several different colors, presumably one for each of her mother's Senshi. Clear, blue, red, green, yellow, aqua, purple-grey, dark purple, gold and blue… Each different color of light seemed to have a purpose, but she had yet to figure them all out. She had been told that if she were injured, to come here, to the green hallway, so she assumed that the green light could heal wounds.
Not even Ami could clearly explain the purposes of the lights, or why some, like those associated with the outers, could be two toned. But she accepted that this was just the way things were, perhaps done long ago to amuse Usagi-san, before she ascended to Neo Queen Serenity. She knew that her mom had been very childish… she remembered fighting with her, even after finding out that she and Mamoru were her parents. She hadn't been very much like a queen should be.
A shift in the color of light informed Usagi that Serenity had reached the garden where she planned on having lunch with Usagi. She shielded her eyes to the sudden color shift, the bright sunshine harsher than anything inside of the Palace.
This garden had only one entrance, if you discounted the lack of a roof that would allow a Senshi to jump onto the roof, and was circular. A fountain was located in the middle, the figure that of a woman Usagi had never seen before, but resembling Serenity. Small pink flowers with a soft fragrance comprised all of the foliage here. A green blanket was laid out in front of the fountain, with two cushy pillows and a lunch that only Makoto could have made. Serenity placed herself on one of the cushions and looked up expectantly at Usagi.
With a sigh she lowered herself onto the other pillow, avoiding the Queen's eyes.
Serenity frowned slightly, reaching out gently and brushing a strand of hair from Usagi's eyes, "Darling, what's wrong? I though you'd like a picnic." Her blue eyes shadowed with concern as Usagi raised her head to look up at her.
"I'm sorry Serenity, but I still don't feel very comfortable around you… I know you're my mother, but I don't feel… right, being a princess. I've always wanted my mother back, but I also want a nice, normal life."
Her eyes held a guilty look at the pain that flashed across Serenity's face, though that pain was quickly hidden.
"I see."
She stared down at the picnic she had arranged, wondering what it would take to get her daughter back. "well…" she continued, not looking up, "I can't accommodate you in everything. You may leave here, and live the life you choose. I won't force you into being the princess as I was."
She stood and walked back to the hallway entrance, glancing back at her daughter with tears in her eyes, "Goodbye Chiba Usagi. I shouldn't have been so selfish as to force you to be the princess. Please forgive me."
= = =
Usagi watched silently, her face alit in shock, as the Queen bid her farewell after granting her a normal life, and walked away. She sat there, unable to bring herself to move, one thought echoing through her mind.
::What have I done?::
= = =
Mamoru paced around the Palace, looking for his daughter. ::Now where did she go? Surely lunch with Serenity couldn't have lasted so long.:: He passed from the blue hall into the green and stopped to stare out through the crystal. So clear, no matter what color… like her. His thoughts were turning towards Serenity more and more often, now that he was able to see her on a day-to-day basis. Those wonderful blue eyes, her golden and silver hair, regal and kind manner, her generosity and grace… everything about her was perfect. Far more perfect than Usagi-san had been.
He shook his head to clear that thought. He had loved Usagi-san, or at least, he believed that he did. Yet the more he was around Serenity, the more different the two seemed. Serenity is as she was before, his beloved moon princess, and not the clumsy, lazy, and jealous odango ata…
::Kuso! There I go again, comparing who she was to who she is… did I only love her for who she was before she was reborn? Am I only falling in love with her again, because she had become her princess self again, now queen?::
He sighed, upset with himself again. He had loved Princess Serenity more than he had ever cared for Usagi-san, and deep down he knew that he cared for the Queen because she had resumed being his Serenity… had he ever really loved Usagi-san?
He wasn't sure anymore.
= = =
Usagi wondered slowly to her bedroom, passing silently by Mamoru without saying anything. Her face was burnt from staying out in the sun all day, but as she made her way down the green hallway, the gently light soothed away, and then healed, her skin. She was so confused… what did she really want? Was having a normal life more important to her than having her mother? And what about her friends? They all had positions here at the Palace, and had decided to resume their Senshi training. Could she leave them behind? Specifically, could she leave Hotaru behind?
She sighed, knowing the answer already. No matter how normal she wanted her life to be, she couldn't have that life without her friends, they were too important to her. And now she had to apologize to her mother, and try to work things out. At least she could be certain that Serenity would accept her apology and give her a second chance. Could she make the most of it?
She had meant to go to her room and write a letter of apology, but her feet found their way to Serenity's door. The hallway began to spin around her, and she leaned against the door. ::I don't understand… the green hallway.. I should be fine… ::
As things went black, she wondered is Serenity was in her room.
= = =
Serenity pushed the strands of hair out of Usagi's eyes, wondering when she would awaken. The window in Usagi's room was open, letting in a gentle night breeze that made the Queen's effort to get Usagi's hair in place nearly impossible. She didn't really mind though, content in being by her daughter's side after so long.
A small sigh escaped from her lips as the moonlight broke through the clouds that had appeared three nights ago, after Usagi had passed out. The silvery light rested gently upon the Princess, making her look like a little child again. Her little angel… she leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss upon her brow before standing to leave.
She took a lingering look at Usagi, wondering sadly if she could regain her daughter's trust. Perhaps she did have a chance… what had she wanted to say to Serenity, before passing out? Why had she gone to the Queen's room? Her hope was for yet another chance to be with her daughter again, to have her family whole. Would she get that chance?
As the door to the Princess's room clicked shut, Usagi rolled over onto her side with a soft whimper, curling into a ball. Her dreams were filled with her memories of being Sailor Mini Moon, her times in the past, and her previous dreams for the future. When her dreams turned violent or sad, there was always a boy with shiny wings who soothed them away, assuring her of a better dream, and a better tomorrow.
- - -
To Be Continued: