A.N: Yeah, I know it's been a while. I've just been waiting for inspiration to come back to this fic, and with A.O.T.D.C.B. (Attack of the Dark Cherry Blossom) finished, I can come back. I'm sorry you all had to wait so long, but I also had to really think hard about Dan's mysterious job. Thank you all for the suggestions on his career, but it's something that's really going to be humiliating. This chapter will also reveal a little bit more of the main plot that I have. Without further ado, enjoy!
After going through a week of school, Chun Li decided that her and Ryu should spend the weekend at the amusement park. She also invited Blanka to join in on the fun.
Chun Li: If those women ever lay a finger on you again, I swear that I will kill them!
Ryu: Don't do that, Chun Li, or I might never graduate...
Chun Li: I just don't want those women trying to take what's mine!
Ryu: I'm not the only one they were after. They were also after Blanka...
Chun Li: Blanka is cute, in a beastly sort of way.
Blanka: Thank you, Chun Li.
Chun Li: *eyes wide* Blanka! You can talk!
Blanka: I've always been able to talk. It's just that nobody except Dan has been able to understand me.
Chun Li: I'm really proud of you, Blanka!
Blanka: Thanks.
Chun Li: How come Dan didn't come with us?
Blanka: He said he had to work.
Chun Li: I'm going to find out what his secret job is if it kills me!
*****
Meanwhile, in Madison Square Gardens...
J.R: Welcome to WWF Raw Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight's main event is going to be a slobber knocker!
Lawler: I just hope that I get to see some puppies or HLA!
J.R: Is that all you ever think about?
Lawler: Yep!
J.R: Anyway, our main event is for the InterGender tag-team championship! (A.N: I know that it doesn't exist, but I made it up)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is one-fall, and it is for the InterGender tag-team championship. Our challengers, weighing a total of over 300 pounds, Zangief and R.Mika!
*Zangief and R.Mika enter the arena. *
Announcer: And our other challengers, also weighing a total of over 300 pounds, Darun Mister and Pullum!
J.R: This is going to be a good match, folks! Zangief and Darun have a rivalry that goes way back to the EX days...
Lawler: I just wanna see some puppies!
Ding!
J.R: And the bell signals the start of the match. Zangief and Darun have entered the ring first, those two being the more experienced of their respective teams. Darun starts things off with a beautiful closeline. Zangief gets right back up however, and counters with a green glove! Ohh, that had to hurt!
Lawler: Maybe the ladies ought to stay with me where it's safe...
J.R: Zangief picks Darun up now, and whips him against the ropes! Zangief tries to finish Darun off with a closeline, but Darun is thinking the same thing! Both men are knocked out!
Referee: One! Two! Three!
J.R: And the referee has begun the countdown! Neither man looks like they are about to get up!
Lawler: If they don't do something fast, both of them are going to lose!
J.R: Right you are, King! Wait a minute! Both men have gotten up! They both need to tag!
Lawler: Yes! It's time for some HLA!
J.R: Darun makes it to his corner and tags Pullum in! Can Zangief get to R.Mika before it is too late?
Lawler: Come on Zangief! Tag her in!
J.R: And Zangief manages to tag his partner! R.Mika is in the ring!
Lawler: Yes!
J.R: Pullum takes R.Mika down with a drill kick! As R.Mika starts to get up, Pullum delivers a somersault kick! This isn't looking good for R.Mika folks!
Lawler: But I'm happy! HLA! HLA!
Audience: HLA! HLA!
J.R: Now look at what you've started! Anyway, Pullum is about to use another drill kick, but R.Mika steps out of the way. As Pullum turns around, she gets hit by a flying butt attack!
Lawler: Yes! Come on Ladies!
J.R: R.Mika goes to the top of the ropes now. She's going to end this! Wait a second! Darun just hit her from behind with a chair! The ref didn't see that!
Lawler: The ref is so blind!
J.R: But Zangief did, and now him and Darun are fighting outside, which gives Pullum just enough time to wake up and hold R.Mika for the pin. The ref starts the count!
Audience: One! Two! Three!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Announcer: Your winner, and the new InterGender Tag-team champions, Darun and Pullum!
J.R: It's a shame, folks. Zangief and R.Mika had this match won, but they were screwed!
Lawler: At least we got some nice HLA!
J.R: The match may be over, but the fight sure isn't! Zangief just tossed Darun back into the ring! Oh no! Zangief is setting Darun up for his signature move! The spinning pile driver! He connects!
Lawler: I'd hate to be Darun right about now...
J.R: Couldn't agree with you more, King. Zangief just gave a message to Darun that they will meet again!
*****
Back at the amusement park...
Ryu: How about some cotton candy?
Chun Li: Sure! I would love some!
Ryu: Okay, I'll be right back.
(Ryu leaves)
Blanka: What do you see in Ryu?
Chun Li: He's sweet, loves nature, and has a great body!
Blanka: Chun Li!! I didn't think you would be that type of girl!
Chun Li: Shh... It's my secret. Don't tell Ryu that.
***
Ryu: One cotton candy, please.
(Ryu gives money to cashier)
Ryu: Thank you.
Ryu is about to go back to Chun Li and Blanka when he hears screams coming from the other direction.
Ryu: I wonder what is going on...
Ryu runs off in the direction of the screams and sees a bunch of kids beating up on a guy in a dinosaur costume.
Ryu: (laughing to himself) Ha! Ha! Ha! I feel sorry for the guy in that costume!
Kid 1: You suck!
Kid 2: Yeah! You aren't funny!
Man in dinosaur costume: Stop! What did I ever do to you?
The kids continue beating up on the man in the costume until he falls down and waves a white flag as a sign of retreat. The kids decide to leave him alone and walk away, but not before one kid comes back and kicks him in the nuts.
Man in dinosaur costume: Ow!! That hurt!
Ryu: Poor man...
Man in dinosaur costume: That's it! I quit! No amount of torture is worth this!
(Man takes off dinosaur head)
Ryu: Dan???
Dan: Ryu?! No! Nobody was supposed to find out! I'm ruined!
Ryu: Relax Dan, I won't tell anybody, but why did you keep this job a secret?
Dan: It should be obvious! I get no respect! I get tortured by kids every day, babies spit on me, women hit me with their purses, and even the old people are getting in on the act!
Ryu: I feel sorry for you Dan...
Dan: I wouldn't be in this predicament if "he" didn't mess everything up!
Ryu: Yes...you are right..."he" messed up all of our lives. Don't worry. We'll make him pay!
Dan: Thanks. Oh no! Someone's coming!
(Dan puts back on his dinosaur head)
Chun Li and Blanka finally meet up with Ryu.
Chun Li: Ryu! Where have you been? I've been waiting for ten minutes!
Ryu: Sorry, Chun. Something came up. Here is your cotton candy.
Chun Li: Thank you!
Blanka: It's a shame that Dan couldn't be here today. This was a great day.
Ryu: I'm sure that Dan would be here if he could, but he has to make ends meet. Come on; let's go on one more ride before we head for home...
(Ryu, Chun Li, and Blanka walk off in another direction leaving behind the man in the dinosaur costume who unknown to all except Ryu, is really Dan)
Dan: I will make you pay...for ruining my life! Just you wait...I will have my revenge!
(A kid comes out of no where and kicks Dan in the nuts)
Dan: Ow! You stupid kid! Come back here!
Dan chases the kid away...
After going through a week of school, Chun Li decided that her and Ryu should spend the weekend at the amusement park. She also invited Blanka to join in on the fun.
Chun Li: If those women ever lay a finger on you again, I swear that I will kill them!
Ryu: Don't do that, Chun Li, or I might never graduate...
Chun Li: I just don't want those women trying to take what's mine!
Ryu: I'm not the only one they were after. They were also after Blanka...
Chun Li: Blanka is cute, in a beastly sort of way.
Blanka: Thank you, Chun Li.
Chun Li: *eyes wide* Blanka! You can talk!
Blanka: I've always been able to talk. It's just that nobody except Dan has been able to understand me.
Chun Li: I'm really proud of you, Blanka!
Blanka: Thanks.
Chun Li: How come Dan didn't come with us?
Blanka: He said he had to work.
Chun Li: I'm going to find out what his secret job is if it kills me!
*****
Meanwhile, in Madison Square Gardens...
J.R: Welcome to WWF Raw Ladies and Gentlemen! Tonight's main event is going to be a slobber knocker!
Lawler: I just hope that I get to see some puppies or HLA!
J.R: Is that all you ever think about?
Lawler: Yep!
J.R: Anyway, our main event is for the InterGender tag-team championship! (A.N: I know that it doesn't exist, but I made it up)
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is one-fall, and it is for the InterGender tag-team championship. Our challengers, weighing a total of over 300 pounds, Zangief and R.Mika!
*Zangief and R.Mika enter the arena. *
Announcer: And our other challengers, also weighing a total of over 300 pounds, Darun Mister and Pullum!
J.R: This is going to be a good match, folks! Zangief and Darun have a rivalry that goes way back to the EX days...
Lawler: I just wanna see some puppies!
Ding!
J.R: And the bell signals the start of the match. Zangief and Darun have entered the ring first, those two being the more experienced of their respective teams. Darun starts things off with a beautiful closeline. Zangief gets right back up however, and counters with a green glove! Ohh, that had to hurt!
Lawler: Maybe the ladies ought to stay with me where it's safe...
J.R: Zangief picks Darun up now, and whips him against the ropes! Zangief tries to finish Darun off with a closeline, but Darun is thinking the same thing! Both men are knocked out!
Referee: One! Two! Three!
J.R: And the referee has begun the countdown! Neither man looks like they are about to get up!
Lawler: If they don't do something fast, both of them are going to lose!
J.R: Right you are, King! Wait a minute! Both men have gotten up! They both need to tag!
Lawler: Yes! It's time for some HLA!
J.R: Darun makes it to his corner and tags Pullum in! Can Zangief get to R.Mika before it is too late?
Lawler: Come on Zangief! Tag her in!
J.R: And Zangief manages to tag his partner! R.Mika is in the ring!
Lawler: Yes!
J.R: Pullum takes R.Mika down with a drill kick! As R.Mika starts to get up, Pullum delivers a somersault kick! This isn't looking good for R.Mika folks!
Lawler: But I'm happy! HLA! HLA!
Audience: HLA! HLA!
J.R: Now look at what you've started! Anyway, Pullum is about to use another drill kick, but R.Mika steps out of the way. As Pullum turns around, she gets hit by a flying butt attack!
Lawler: Yes! Come on Ladies!
J.R: R.Mika goes to the top of the ropes now. She's going to end this! Wait a second! Darun just hit her from behind with a chair! The ref didn't see that!
Lawler: The ref is so blind!
J.R: But Zangief did, and now him and Darun are fighting outside, which gives Pullum just enough time to wake up and hold R.Mika for the pin. The ref starts the count!
Audience: One! Two! Three!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Announcer: Your winner, and the new InterGender Tag-team champions, Darun and Pullum!
J.R: It's a shame, folks. Zangief and R.Mika had this match won, but they were screwed!
Lawler: At least we got some nice HLA!
J.R: The match may be over, but the fight sure isn't! Zangief just tossed Darun back into the ring! Oh no! Zangief is setting Darun up for his signature move! The spinning pile driver! He connects!
Lawler: I'd hate to be Darun right about now...
J.R: Couldn't agree with you more, King. Zangief just gave a message to Darun that they will meet again!
*****
Back at the amusement park...
Ryu: How about some cotton candy?
Chun Li: Sure! I would love some!
Ryu: Okay, I'll be right back.
(Ryu leaves)
Blanka: What do you see in Ryu?
Chun Li: He's sweet, loves nature, and has a great body!
Blanka: Chun Li!! I didn't think you would be that type of girl!
Chun Li: Shh... It's my secret. Don't tell Ryu that.
***
Ryu: One cotton candy, please.
(Ryu gives money to cashier)
Ryu: Thank you.
Ryu is about to go back to Chun Li and Blanka when he hears screams coming from the other direction.
Ryu: I wonder what is going on...
Ryu runs off in the direction of the screams and sees a bunch of kids beating up on a guy in a dinosaur costume.
Ryu: (laughing to himself) Ha! Ha! Ha! I feel sorry for the guy in that costume!
Kid 1: You suck!
Kid 2: Yeah! You aren't funny!
Man in dinosaur costume: Stop! What did I ever do to you?
The kids continue beating up on the man in the costume until he falls down and waves a white flag as a sign of retreat. The kids decide to leave him alone and walk away, but not before one kid comes back and kicks him in the nuts.
Man in dinosaur costume: Ow!! That hurt!
Ryu: Poor man...
Man in dinosaur costume: That's it! I quit! No amount of torture is worth this!
(Man takes off dinosaur head)
Ryu: Dan???
Dan: Ryu?! No! Nobody was supposed to find out! I'm ruined!
Ryu: Relax Dan, I won't tell anybody, but why did you keep this job a secret?
Dan: It should be obvious! I get no respect! I get tortured by kids every day, babies spit on me, women hit me with their purses, and even the old people are getting in on the act!
Ryu: I feel sorry for you Dan...
Dan: I wouldn't be in this predicament if "he" didn't mess everything up!
Ryu: Yes...you are right..."he" messed up all of our lives. Don't worry. We'll make him pay!
Dan: Thanks. Oh no! Someone's coming!
(Dan puts back on his dinosaur head)
Chun Li and Blanka finally meet up with Ryu.
Chun Li: Ryu! Where have you been? I've been waiting for ten minutes!
Ryu: Sorry, Chun. Something came up. Here is your cotton candy.
Chun Li: Thank you!
Blanka: It's a shame that Dan couldn't be here today. This was a great day.
Ryu: I'm sure that Dan would be here if he could, but he has to make ends meet. Come on; let's go on one more ride before we head for home...
(Ryu, Chun Li, and Blanka walk off in another direction leaving behind the man in the dinosaur costume who unknown to all except Ryu, is really Dan)
Dan: I will make you pay...for ruining my life! Just you wait...I will have my revenge!
(A kid comes out of no where and kicks Dan in the nuts)
Dan: Ow! You stupid kid! Come back here!
Dan chases the kid away...