Stumbling Towards Contentment 13/14
See part one for notes and stuff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They just sat there for a while, the silence broken by Josh's occasional
yawning and the sound of his fidgeting while he tried to get comfortable.
Finally Donna scooted into the corner and pulled him back against her. She
pressed a cool hand against his warm cheek. He sighed a little and leaned in
to her touch.
"Nice and cool." he muttered. "Feels good."
"You're still pretty warm. Can I get you anything? You hungry, you didn't
finish the macaroni."
"Something to drink." he answered as Donna started to get up. "In a minute,
just stay here for minute, please" he asked quietly.
Donna nodded as she felt tears spring to her eyes again as she looked down at
him. With her cool hand she brushed back his hair and caressed his face. A
couple of minutes later Josh fell asleep. Donna held him for a while longer
and then slipped off the couch. She pulled the afghan up over his legs and
turned out the light.
Donna grabbed the portable phone and stepped out the back door to get some
air. She walked to the swing set and took a seat on the swing. The memory
of Josh, Sam and Toby trying to put together the swing set years ago brought
a smile and eventually a laugh or two. The laughter eventually dissolved
into a few tears as she recalled the events of the last few days as well as
the upcoming anniversary. The ringing of the phone made her jump as she
wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"Hello." she answered, sniffing just a little.
"Donna, it's Sam."
"Hi."
"What's wrong?"
"Uh let's see, where should I even start?" she laughed bitterly.
"How's Josh?"
"He's got a nasty kidney infection; spent some time yesterday in the ER for
fluids and antibiotics. Still running a fever. He's asleep on the couch."
"And you?"
"Just great. Spent sometime kicking my husband while he was down this
afternoon."
"What happened?" sighed Sam as he stretched out on a lounge chair on his
deck.
"We had a fight and I said some things that were, uh.. pretty bad."
"Such as?"
"Well, I basically accused him of driving himself into an early grave and
then told him to do it in May so all my horrible memories are in the same
month, makes it easier to remember them that way." she explained while trying
not to sob too loudly.
"Wow." was all Sam could mutter for a moment.
"Yeah, Josh pretty much had the same reaction. Sam, I have never regretted
saying anything more in my entire life."
"What happened after that?"
"Not much. We both yelled a little. Then we both realized we weren't
exactly acting like adults about the whole situation. I told him the bottom
line is that I'm scared to death of losing him."
"I know." he said softly, "And he's terrified at the thought of leaving you
alone."
"I know. So he's promised to take care of himself and he's planning on going
back to work on Monday."
"And you're ok with that?"
"I don't know...I have to be I guess. Sam, I can't wait for these next 6
months to be over. I don't know how much more I can take."
"Donna, do you ever talk to someone about all this?"
"I talk to you, I talk to Jed and Abbey..."
"That's not what I meant." he said, cutting her off.
"I know."
"I think you need to talk to someone."
"I've thought about it. I suppose I should."
"Promise me you'll look into it."
"I will." said Donna as she looked up to find Josh standing against the metal
frame of the sliding glass door. He looked rumpled, feverish, tired and more
adorable than she could remember. With a dimpled smile he crossed the yard
to sit on the other swing. "Hold on, Josh just came outside." she said. She
held her hand over the phone, "It's Sam, you want to talk to him?"
Josh nodded.
"Sam, Josh wants to talk. I'll talk to you later in the week. Bye."
"Bye."
Donna handed Josh the phone, kissed the top of his head and went inside to
get a coat for him. A minute later she came back out, set his jacket over
his shoulders and set a bottle of iced tea on the slide platform. He reached
out to squeeze her hand as she went back in to find something to make for
dinner.
Josh talked to Sam for a good half hour; giving his version of the fight,
which pretty much matched up with the version Donna had told Sam. After he
hung up Josh stayed outside, letting the cool evening air clear his head a
little.
Donna went out to check on him a while later. He was swinging slowly, his
hair pretty much standing straight up thanks to the breeze and the fact that
he had been running his fingers through it for the last 10 minutes. It was a
nervous habit Donna had always found endearing.
Josh looked up when he saw Donna come out. He put his left foot down to stop
the swing as she moved to stand in front of him. With a sigh he leaned
forward a little, resting his head against the soft worn cotton of the
sweatshirt she wore. Inhaling the scent of her perfume he relaxed a little
more. His arms came up around her waist and he reached his hands up under
the sweatshirt, pressing them against the small of her back.
Bending down, Donna kissed the top of his head. Her one hand came around him
to rub small circles over his back. The other hand came to rest on the back
of his neck, a cooling presence against his hot skin. She felt him shiver a
little from a combination of the fever and the light breeze.
"Come on inside, it's getting chilly out here." she said as she tipped his
chin up and kissed his forehead.
"OK"
Donna took his hand, pulled him up and handed him the cane. He had gotten
stiff while sitting out there on the swing so he followed her in slowly. They
ate dinner and she sent him to take a cool shower to try and get his
temperature down. She was just about to go check on him when the phone rang.
"Hello."
"Hi, Donna, it's Jill Connors. Just checking to see how Josh is doing."
"OK, I guess. He doesn't seem to be in as much pain but we can't get the
fever below 100."
"How high has it been running?"
"Anywhere from just over 100 to almost 102."
"Not what I wanted to hear. I'll give him another day and if it's not
staying down by Monday morning I want to do some blood work, maybe run a
couple of other tests."
"OK. I'll let him know."
"How are things going otherwise?"
"Well, apart from the big fight we had, he's been pretty quiet. The
anniversary of Rosslyn is tomorrow so I'm not holding out any great hope that
tomorrow will be a good day."
"I don't imagine it will be. Give me a call if you need anything, you have
my home number right?"
"I do, thanks."
"Take care and call me with an update."
"OK, bye."
"Bye."
As soon as she hung up the phone she realized she should have asked Jill for
the recommendation of someone she could talk to. She made a mental note to
remember to do it when she talked to her on Monday. She heard the shower
turn off as she headed down the hall to the bedroom. There was a trail of
clothes from the bedroom door to the bathroom and she shook her head as she
leaned over to pick them up. She knocked lightly on the bathroom door and
Josh told her to come in. With a snort in his direction she made a big
production of showing him the dirty clothes being tossed in the hamper.
"Oh, leave me alone, I'm sick." he smirked as he looked in the mirror and ran
his hand over his chin. "God, I really do look like crap, don't I?" he asked
as he put his glasses back on.
"Yeah, and you need to shave." Donna pointed out as she hopped up on the
counter.
"I will." he said as he pulled his electric razor out of the charger. He
shivered a little as he was only wearing a towel around his waist. "Can you
grab me a pair of boxers?" he asked as he pulled his robe off the back of the
door and put it on.
Donna tossed a pair in to him and then went to move over a load of laundry to
the dryer. As she came back down the hall she heard the hum of his razor.
She peeked her head in the bathroom her eyes met his in the mirror. He
smiled a little and motioned for her to come in. Resuming her position on
the counter she kept him company while he finished.
"Jill called. If we can't get the fever to stay below 100 by Monday she
wants to do some blood work."
"Great." he muttered as he pressed his palm against his cheek, trying to see
if he was still feverish.
Donna just laughed at him for a second before pulling him close so she could
press her lips against his forehead.
"Yeah, you're warm." she said as she glanced at the clock. She slid off the
counter to grab some Tylenol from the kitchen. When she got back Josh was
holding the ear thermometer. She laughed as she watched her mechanically
inept husband struggle with something the boys knew how to use.
"You could stop laughing and give me a hand." he teased as she held out the
thermometer.
Donna gave one last laugh, took it from him and gently put the probe in his
ear. She pressed the button and 3 seconds later held it up for Josh to read.
"101.6, damn." he muttered as he turned on the faucet to get a drink of water
to take the pills.
With the help of a sleeping pill Josh managed to sleep for about 5 straight
hours before waking from a nightmare. Given the date and the fact that Josh
was still running a fever the nightmare certainly wasn't a surprise. In fact
when Josh woke up from it he just crept out of bed, splashed some water on
his face and settled down on the couch in his study, watching CNN. Donna
found him there about 7 the next morning when she got up. He was sound
asleep with his glasses on. She carefully took them off, flicked off the
television and pulled the blanket around him. His temperature was still up
so she got a cool, damp cloth for his forehead and closed the door so he
could get some more sleep.
TBC
See part one for notes and stuff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They just sat there for a while, the silence broken by Josh's occasional
yawning and the sound of his fidgeting while he tried to get comfortable.
Finally Donna scooted into the corner and pulled him back against her. She
pressed a cool hand against his warm cheek. He sighed a little and leaned in
to her touch.
"Nice and cool." he muttered. "Feels good."
"You're still pretty warm. Can I get you anything? You hungry, you didn't
finish the macaroni."
"Something to drink." he answered as Donna started to get up. "In a minute,
just stay here for minute, please" he asked quietly.
Donna nodded as she felt tears spring to her eyes again as she looked down at
him. With her cool hand she brushed back his hair and caressed his face. A
couple of minutes later Josh fell asleep. Donna held him for a while longer
and then slipped off the couch. She pulled the afghan up over his legs and
turned out the light.
Donna grabbed the portable phone and stepped out the back door to get some
air. She walked to the swing set and took a seat on the swing. The memory
of Josh, Sam and Toby trying to put together the swing set years ago brought
a smile and eventually a laugh or two. The laughter eventually dissolved
into a few tears as she recalled the events of the last few days as well as
the upcoming anniversary. The ringing of the phone made her jump as she
wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"Hello." she answered, sniffing just a little.
"Donna, it's Sam."
"Hi."
"What's wrong?"
"Uh let's see, where should I even start?" she laughed bitterly.
"How's Josh?"
"He's got a nasty kidney infection; spent some time yesterday in the ER for
fluids and antibiotics. Still running a fever. He's asleep on the couch."
"And you?"
"Just great. Spent sometime kicking my husband while he was down this
afternoon."
"What happened?" sighed Sam as he stretched out on a lounge chair on his
deck.
"We had a fight and I said some things that were, uh.. pretty bad."
"Such as?"
"Well, I basically accused him of driving himself into an early grave and
then told him to do it in May so all my horrible memories are in the same
month, makes it easier to remember them that way." she explained while trying
not to sob too loudly.
"Wow." was all Sam could mutter for a moment.
"Yeah, Josh pretty much had the same reaction. Sam, I have never regretted
saying anything more in my entire life."
"What happened after that?"
"Not much. We both yelled a little. Then we both realized we weren't
exactly acting like adults about the whole situation. I told him the bottom
line is that I'm scared to death of losing him."
"I know." he said softly, "And he's terrified at the thought of leaving you
alone."
"I know. So he's promised to take care of himself and he's planning on going
back to work on Monday."
"And you're ok with that?"
"I don't know...I have to be I guess. Sam, I can't wait for these next 6
months to be over. I don't know how much more I can take."
"Donna, do you ever talk to someone about all this?"
"I talk to you, I talk to Jed and Abbey..."
"That's not what I meant." he said, cutting her off.
"I know."
"I think you need to talk to someone."
"I've thought about it. I suppose I should."
"Promise me you'll look into it."
"I will." said Donna as she looked up to find Josh standing against the metal
frame of the sliding glass door. He looked rumpled, feverish, tired and more
adorable than she could remember. With a dimpled smile he crossed the yard
to sit on the other swing. "Hold on, Josh just came outside." she said. She
held her hand over the phone, "It's Sam, you want to talk to him?"
Josh nodded.
"Sam, Josh wants to talk. I'll talk to you later in the week. Bye."
"Bye."
Donna handed Josh the phone, kissed the top of his head and went inside to
get a coat for him. A minute later she came back out, set his jacket over
his shoulders and set a bottle of iced tea on the slide platform. He reached
out to squeeze her hand as she went back in to find something to make for
dinner.
Josh talked to Sam for a good half hour; giving his version of the fight,
which pretty much matched up with the version Donna had told Sam. After he
hung up Josh stayed outside, letting the cool evening air clear his head a
little.
Donna went out to check on him a while later. He was swinging slowly, his
hair pretty much standing straight up thanks to the breeze and the fact that
he had been running his fingers through it for the last 10 minutes. It was a
nervous habit Donna had always found endearing.
Josh looked up when he saw Donna come out. He put his left foot down to stop
the swing as she moved to stand in front of him. With a sigh he leaned
forward a little, resting his head against the soft worn cotton of the
sweatshirt she wore. Inhaling the scent of her perfume he relaxed a little
more. His arms came up around her waist and he reached his hands up under
the sweatshirt, pressing them against the small of her back.
Bending down, Donna kissed the top of his head. Her one hand came around him
to rub small circles over his back. The other hand came to rest on the back
of his neck, a cooling presence against his hot skin. She felt him shiver a
little from a combination of the fever and the light breeze.
"Come on inside, it's getting chilly out here." she said as she tipped his
chin up and kissed his forehead.
"OK"
Donna took his hand, pulled him up and handed him the cane. He had gotten
stiff while sitting out there on the swing so he followed her in slowly. They
ate dinner and she sent him to take a cool shower to try and get his
temperature down. She was just about to go check on him when the phone rang.
"Hello."
"Hi, Donna, it's Jill Connors. Just checking to see how Josh is doing."
"OK, I guess. He doesn't seem to be in as much pain but we can't get the
fever below 100."
"How high has it been running?"
"Anywhere from just over 100 to almost 102."
"Not what I wanted to hear. I'll give him another day and if it's not
staying down by Monday morning I want to do some blood work, maybe run a
couple of other tests."
"OK. I'll let him know."
"How are things going otherwise?"
"Well, apart from the big fight we had, he's been pretty quiet. The
anniversary of Rosslyn is tomorrow so I'm not holding out any great hope that
tomorrow will be a good day."
"I don't imagine it will be. Give me a call if you need anything, you have
my home number right?"
"I do, thanks."
"Take care and call me with an update."
"OK, bye."
"Bye."
As soon as she hung up the phone she realized she should have asked Jill for
the recommendation of someone she could talk to. She made a mental note to
remember to do it when she talked to her on Monday. She heard the shower
turn off as she headed down the hall to the bedroom. There was a trail of
clothes from the bedroom door to the bathroom and she shook her head as she
leaned over to pick them up. She knocked lightly on the bathroom door and
Josh told her to come in. With a snort in his direction she made a big
production of showing him the dirty clothes being tossed in the hamper.
"Oh, leave me alone, I'm sick." he smirked as he looked in the mirror and ran
his hand over his chin. "God, I really do look like crap, don't I?" he asked
as he put his glasses back on.
"Yeah, and you need to shave." Donna pointed out as she hopped up on the
counter.
"I will." he said as he pulled his electric razor out of the charger. He
shivered a little as he was only wearing a towel around his waist. "Can you
grab me a pair of boxers?" he asked as he pulled his robe off the back of the
door and put it on.
Donna tossed a pair in to him and then went to move over a load of laundry to
the dryer. As she came back down the hall she heard the hum of his razor.
She peeked her head in the bathroom her eyes met his in the mirror. He
smiled a little and motioned for her to come in. Resuming her position on
the counter she kept him company while he finished.
"Jill called. If we can't get the fever to stay below 100 by Monday she
wants to do some blood work."
"Great." he muttered as he pressed his palm against his cheek, trying to see
if he was still feverish.
Donna just laughed at him for a second before pulling him close so she could
press her lips against his forehead.
"Yeah, you're warm." she said as she glanced at the clock. She slid off the
counter to grab some Tylenol from the kitchen. When she got back Josh was
holding the ear thermometer. She laughed as she watched her mechanically
inept husband struggle with something the boys knew how to use.
"You could stop laughing and give me a hand." he teased as she held out the
thermometer.
Donna gave one last laugh, took it from him and gently put the probe in his
ear. She pressed the button and 3 seconds later held it up for Josh to read.
"101.6, damn." he muttered as he turned on the faucet to get a drink of water
to take the pills.
With the help of a sleeping pill Josh managed to sleep for about 5 straight
hours before waking from a nightmare. Given the date and the fact that Josh
was still running a fever the nightmare certainly wasn't a surprise. In fact
when Josh woke up from it he just crept out of bed, splashed some water on
his face and settled down on the couch in his study, watching CNN. Donna
found him there about 7 the next morning when she got up. He was sound
asleep with his glasses on. She carefully took them off, flicked off the
television and pulled the blanket around him. His temperature was still up
so she got a cool, damp cloth for his forehead and closed the door so he
could get some more sleep.
TBC