Disclaimer: I don't own them, it or whoever else appears in the fic.

A/N: This was written as a present to my sis who was having a hard week at college. It was her challenge (which I will reveal at the very end of this fic) that inspired it so blame her for the resulting wackiness!!

Got Candy?

"Bwahahahahaha!!"

Magneto chuckled evilly to himself as he set his plan into motion. "Oh yes, be afraid world, because, I, Magneto have just unleashed the plan that will bring about the demise of the X-men! Wahahahahaha!"

Outside a bird chirped, and the man known as Magnus glared at it. "What? You don't believe me? Well this time it'll work, because I have the perfect plan."

The bluebird hopped on it's branch a little closer ruffling it's feathers. "Cheep?"

"Well, it all starts with a little gift..."

Mystique and Sabretooth watched as the older man revealed his plan, in detail, to the bird. Finally, after laughing maniacally for a total of thirteen times, he sprinted out the door leaving the two mutants looking at each other dubiously.

"Did you remember his medication?"

Sabretooth shrugged. "Yeah."

"I think it may be time for another appointment with Dr. James." Mystique picked up the phone and started dialing a number automatically.

"Hell yeah."

-in-

Just three days later (in an ideal postal system)

Hundreds of miles away, the mail had just arrived with the usual flurry of Gen X members scrambling to get a look at the mail first. Sean who had the unfortunate luck of arriving first, was busy fending off five teenagers peering over his shoulder at the several envelopes and packages.

"Children!" Six heads turned to look at Emma who had just entered. "Sean is not a machine and I'd prefer not to have him damaged, thank you very much."

Sean blushed a beet red, while the teenagers backed off. Jubilee grinned. "Always knew you had a thing for the Irish, Frost."

Emma sighed. "Oh yes, for years I've been yearning for the hot Irish loving that only Sean can dish out." She quickly handed out the various items to their respective owners and watched them leave with a small smile tugging at her lips.

Once they had gone, and Sean managed to breathe again, he burst out. "Emma! Have ye lost leave of yer senses?"

Emma raised an eyebrow and patted his beet red cheek. "It was that or fight them for the mail. This was at least more interesting."

"Glad that I'm providing amusement for ye, Frost." Sean muttered under his breathe as he walked out the room.

Upstairs Jubilee had excitedly examined her package and envelope. The box was about the size of a ...

"What did you get?" Angelo asked, poking his head in the door. Jubilee's room, contrary to it's usual mess, had actually been transformed into a presentable space due to threats from the co-principals of the school. If Emma and Sean had chosen to look any closer than their cursory glance around the room, they would have found a closet stuffed to bursting point and a space under the bed that had more layers of dirt than any archeological site on earth.

"Dunno." Ripping the envelope open, Jubilee's eye grew wider and wider as she read the enclosed letter. "Holy...."

Angelo plopped down on the bed next to her and peered over her shoulder, quickly skimming over the words till his eyes fell on a thin plastic gold card. "Dios, is that what I think it is?"

Jubilee reverently held up the card to the light. "If this is some kind of joke...."

Meanwhile, Angelo had opened the box to reveal several pounds of candy, chocolate and sugar. "It ain't no joke. You have the card. The card of all cards. You have..."

"The card." Jubilee whispered.

-in-

Time: Much, much later

Later that evening Sean had finally managed to get over being called...called a...Irish....even his mind had trouble saying it. It seemed like that less than two years ago his world had been orderly, calm, and while not that pleasant, was certainly more predictable than living with a person like Emma Frost. Sighing heavily, he sank into his armchair and flipped on the television. At least he could just sit and relax...

"Good evening viewers, if you've just tuned in we have breaking news on the story that has just erupted from the downtown streets of Salem Massachusetts..."

The TV clicked off, he did not want to know, there was no way that he was going to get involved, no way in hell.

*click*

"...eye witnesses are reporting that a young girl running is running amock through the streets. The girl in question is about five feet tall, with black hair and is of Asian descent. Police have tried to contain the girl but all attempts to communicate have failed...."

"Can't we just ignore it?" Sean's desperate plea was aimed at the dark corner where Emma was standing. "It may not be Jubilee."

There was a soft sigh. "How many other teenage Asian girls do you know that could be running insanely downtown?"

Sean leaned over to shut off the TV, and got up wearily. "I've got to meet more people."

-in-

Four hours earlier

It was power, pure and simple. Jubilee had it. Angelo had it by association. both of them were enjoying it. It had taken them less than ten minutes to get to shop, aided (and according to the police afterwards, abetted) by Angelo's driver's license and a willing disregard for any speed laws.

Jubilee strode into the store, her face set with a determined expression that the sales clerks at Bloomingdale would recognize on a sale day. Unfortunately the women here didn't have a chance.

The card was pure magic, one flash and it produced access to the best candy shop in the world. Unlimited, free, access to the best candy in the world.

To be fair the card was the rather odd invention of the candy company's president (who admittedly at the time was on heavy medication). The man's premise was that for an exorbitant fee, a card could be purchased that would allow the bearer to have access to as much candy as they liked in any of the candy stores around the world. A sort of 'golden ticket" for the masses. Luckily, the fee for the card had been too expensive to make the card worthwhile for anyone...with the exception of one Magneto who was of dubious sanity anyway. In the company's history there had only been one card purchased and it was now in the hands of a hyperactive teenager that even Logan feared after she had eaten large amounts of sugar.

Meanwhile, Jubilee was coaching Angelo on the delicate art of chugging straight from the Icee machine without getting a brain freeze. Her lips were starting to turn blue when she finally turned the machine off. "See, after the first few minutes you're numb from the cold and there isn't any pain."

Angelo had already shoved her aside and started inhaling the neon pink liquid. After watching his successful manipulation of the breathe-chug-breathe maneuver, Jubilee returned her attention to the rest of the store. The two store clerks shifted nervously as a glint began to burn maniacally in Jubilee's eyes.

Smiling angelically, Jubilee let her calculating gaze linger on their forms. "So," she mentioned casually. "I bet you can lift a good forty, fifty pounds huh?"

-in-

On the other side of town

"These are really good." Scott shoved another handful of cherries in his mouth, ignoring the looks of disgust from his wife and friends, as he spat the pits out haphazardly.

Hank heft the cherry tree he had been designated to carry, and tried to snag a red berry only to have Scott slap his hand. "Ow!"

"Mine. I picked 'em, I'm going to eat all of them. You all just watched." Scott remarked rather smugly as he popped one in.

Bobby rolled his eyes. "You picked them from the fruit vendor, man. All you had to do was dump them into a bag, Farmer Brown."

"I did the dumping."

"And I'm carrying the damn tree that you whined for us to get after you scarfed down a pound of those cherries. So hand over the goods." Hank held out a rather large hand, seemingly unaware of his talons waving centimeters away from Scott's face as he waited.

"I don't wanna."

"Scott." Jean's voice lowered with a note of warning. "I did not marry a three-year old. Give Hank some berries. Now."

Although Scott's lip trembled precariously, he handed over a small portion of the fruit to the larger man who popped them in his mouth with a smirk. "Actually, the cherry is not a berry per se but a member of the apple family and thus is a..."

"Hank, don't make me take the cherries back."

Hank shot a startled glance down to his stomach. "I already ate them."

"I know." Jean's eyes flashed for a moment before she smiled. "Now that we've got everything settled, why don't we go home and set up the grill for dinner?"

"Yum. Steaks a la Bobby." Bobby licked his lips appreciatively at the thought of his somewhat famous marinade sauce that had earned accolade in the mansion. A sharp trill from his phone made his smile falter slightly and he answered it. "'Lo?"

After several minutes of silence, Bobby shut off the phone with an expression of disbelief on his face.

"What is it?" Jean asked in concern.

"Magneto is attacking downtown Salem. I think. He's apparently stalking up and down the streets screaming that it's time for the final battle. The prof wants us to check it out." Bobby paused uncertainly for a second. "I thought he was on medication now."

"Well not enough apparently." Scott straightened his shoulders with what he assumed was a leadershiply and courageous attitude as he finished the last of the cherries. It probably would have worked if he hadn't had red stains all over his face and hands. "Let's go save the world!" He cried and promptly marched off to a conveniently located Port-a-Potty to change into his uniform.

A/N: I hope you liked this slightly insane fic because more is coming. Reviews are good, so be kind to your writer!