This Isn't Me
By
Natalie Elizabeth
Chapter 16
Buffy walked into her shared room with Spike and saw him folding his clothes and putting them away in a drawer. All he was wearing was a pair of boxers and Buffy couldn't help but look. Spike felt her presence and turned around.
"Oh hey luv the wanker alright then"
"Umm yeah" she said walking over to a drawer and pulling hers, or rather Spikes pyjamas. Buffy looked nervously over at Spike and it took him a few moments to realise that she had to change.
"Oh sorry" he said turning around and climbing into bed practically clinging to the edge.
Buffy quickly changed into her pyjamas and went to turn the light off. On the way back Buffy stubbed her toe and winced slightly before climbing into bed making sure to stay close to the edge just like Spike. Spike rolled over on to his back and looked at Buffy through the darkness.
"Are you alright luv"
"What oh yeah just hit my toe it will be fine in minute"
Spike chuckled. "Umm I actually meant with me"
Buffy twisted her head in his direction. "Yeah why wouldn't I be"
"Cause Angels here, I know you didn't want to go there cause it would be awkward, your not shitty that hes here"
"No everything's fine"
"Ok well look why don't you share the bed with him I don't mind sleeping on the couch" Spike pulled back the covers and almost had his foot on the floor when he felt Buffys hand on his arm.
"No, I don't want to, stay"
"Are you sure"
"Yeah"
Spike pulled the covers back up and snuggled into the bed. "I just thought you might want him close"
"Yeah you would think that wouldn't you"
"What?" Spike asked shocked.
"Nothing" she mumbled.
"I didn't say what because I didn't hear you I said what cause I was shocked. Is this anything to do with the hug he gave you, how you didn't let him hug you"
Buffy rolled over on her side so she could at least see Spikes outline "How did you know that"
Spike was embarrassed. "I heard Angel yelling at you, the wanker"
"Its not that I didn't want to hug Angel its just he reminds me of Riley"
Spike scoffed. "I can understand that, they're both wankers"
Buffy didn't respond and Spike knew that something was really bothering her.
"Come on luv what is it"
Buffy sighed. "Its just they are both big you know, when he hugged me it felt like it was Riley, I felt trapped again"
Spike began to worry here he was lying in the same bed as her and she was telling her that she felt trapped. "I don't make you feel that way do I"
Buffy reached out and touched his arm "No, never, don't take this the wrong way but your small"
"I am not," he said angrily slightly raising his voice.
"I told you not to take this the wrong way, your big compared to me but not big enough to feel threatening, I don't feel trapped when you hug me"
"I am so threatening I could make you feel threatened if I wanted to"
Buffy stared to slid backwards on the bed and almost feel off. "You want me to feel that way," she asked trembling.
"Oh go no Buffy," he said when he realised she had moved away. Spike started to move over to her. "Come here luv I promise" he said opening his arms to her.
Buffys heart lifted and she moved over snuggling into Spikes embrace. "I am really glad you rescued me, and did I just sound like one of those damsels in distress in an old western movie"
"Yeah you did" Spike said running his hand over her hair. "But don't tell any one I did though got a reputation to keep you know" Spike turned his slightly and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Ok I wont, my hero" she said turning to look at him. She could just make out his lips in the dark room, how soft they looked and felt when he had kissed her head. Buffy reached up and placed her lips on Spikes, she was going to pull away when she felt Spikes lips react and deepen the kiss. Buffy pulled away when she realised how bad her actions were. She was still technically a married women and only been away from Riley for a couple of days.
"I. Umm. Err" Buffy stammered.
"Its ok luv shush" Spike said pulling her into a tighter hold. "It's alright" Spike kissed Buffy on the head again.
"What the hell is going on here," Angel yelled turning on the light.
Buffy and Spike sat up in bed shocked.
"You filthy bastard" Angel yelled.
"Angel, Angel I am alright" Buffy said trying to calm him down.
"Keep your parts away from her" Angel said advancing on Spike.
Spike slid back until he hit the headboard. "I was just comforting her about the divorce you idiot" Spike was thankful his brain was working. "I told her that why you were here she just got a little upset, god you can be an ass"
Angel looked over at Buffy for confirmation, she noticed she was rubbing her face a little embarrassed.
"I'm such an idiot" she said "The last couple of days I forgot about Riley, its just all so real now you know"
Angel softened. "Oh ok are you sure"
"Yeah Angel I am sure, did you want something, or just walking past"
Angel looked confused for second then realised there was a reason he was walking past the door. "Oh umm doesn't matter now, ill see you guys tomorrow"
"Ok Angel" Buffy said snuggling into the bed having now moved away from Spike.
"If you wanna talk Buffy, I'll be up for a few hours yet"
"Nah, that's ok" she said turning over on her side away from Angel "When you leave can you shut the door, I don't want the T.V to keep me up its been a long day"
Angel looked shocked and Spike tried to hide his smile.
"Umm ok night Buffy" Angel said as he walked out the door turning off the light giving Spike one last glare before he regrettably shut the door.
Spike layed back down in the bed and sighed. That could have been a lot worse.
"Spike" Buffy whispered. "Will you hold me please, like last night, just for a little while".
"Umm sure luv" he replied shocked.
Buffy scooted back a little and Spike met her in the middle.
"You ok"
"Yeah, so that's why Angels here to talk about the divorce"
"Yeah I didn't want to get him involved but he knows some people who can help you, I didn't tell him much though"
"Is that why you asked me to put on a longer shirt to hide the scars"
Spike became embarrassed. "Yeah I didn't think you wanted him to see that"
"Thank you" she said squeezing the hand that was around her waist. "I am going to go to sleep now ok"
"Sure, I think you need it"
Spike made himself comfortable. He didn't think it was possible to sleep with Buffys body pressed against him. It had happened the night before but that was because he had initiated it. Spike tightened his grip on Buffy before snuggling his head into the back of her neck and finally falling asleep.
~TBC~
Chapter 16
Buffy walked into her shared room with Spike and saw him folding his clothes and putting them away in a drawer. All he was wearing was a pair of boxers and Buffy couldn't help but look. Spike felt her presence and turned around.
"Oh hey luv the wanker alright then"
"Umm yeah" she said walking over to a drawer and pulling hers, or rather Spikes pyjamas. Buffy looked nervously over at Spike and it took him a few moments to realise that she had to change.
"Oh sorry" he said turning around and climbing into bed practically clinging to the edge.
Buffy quickly changed into her pyjamas and went to turn the light off. On the way back Buffy stubbed her toe and winced slightly before climbing into bed making sure to stay close to the edge just like Spike. Spike rolled over on to his back and looked at Buffy through the darkness.
"Are you alright luv"
"What oh yeah just hit my toe it will be fine in minute"
Spike chuckled. "Umm I actually meant with me"
Buffy twisted her head in his direction. "Yeah why wouldn't I be"
"Cause Angels here, I know you didn't want to go there cause it would be awkward, your not shitty that hes here"
"No everything's fine"
"Ok well look why don't you share the bed with him I don't mind sleeping on the couch" Spike pulled back the covers and almost had his foot on the floor when he felt Buffys hand on his arm.
"No, I don't want to, stay"
"Are you sure"
"Yeah"
Spike pulled the covers back up and snuggled into the bed. "I just thought you might want him close"
"Yeah you would think that wouldn't you"
"What?" Spike asked shocked.
"Nothing" she mumbled.
"I didn't say what because I didn't hear you I said what cause I was shocked. Is this anything to do with the hug he gave you, how you didn't let him hug you"
Buffy rolled over on her side so she could at least see Spikes outline "How did you know that"
Spike was embarrassed. "I heard Angel yelling at you, the wanker"
"Its not that I didn't want to hug Angel its just he reminds me of Riley"
Spike scoffed. "I can understand that, they're both wankers"
Buffy didn't respond and Spike knew that something was really bothering her.
"Come on luv what is it"
Buffy sighed. "Its just they are both big you know, when he hugged me it felt like it was Riley, I felt trapped again"
Spike began to worry here he was lying in the same bed as her and she was telling her that she felt trapped. "I don't make you feel that way do I"
Buffy reached out and touched his arm "No, never, don't take this the wrong way but your small"
"I am not," he said angrily slightly raising his voice.
"I told you not to take this the wrong way, your big compared to me but not big enough to feel threatening, I don't feel trapped when you hug me"
"I am so threatening I could make you feel threatened if I wanted to"
Buffy stared to slid backwards on the bed and almost feel off. "You want me to feel that way," she asked trembling.
"Oh go no Buffy," he said when he realised she had moved away. Spike started to move over to her. "Come here luv I promise" he said opening his arms to her.
Buffys heart lifted and she moved over snuggling into Spikes embrace. "I am really glad you rescued me, and did I just sound like one of those damsels in distress in an old western movie"
"Yeah you did" Spike said running his hand over her hair. "But don't tell any one I did though got a reputation to keep you know" Spike turned his slightly and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Ok I wont, my hero" she said turning to look at him. She could just make out his lips in the dark room, how soft they looked and felt when he had kissed her head. Buffy reached up and placed her lips on Spikes, she was going to pull away when she felt Spikes lips react and deepen the kiss. Buffy pulled away when she realised how bad her actions were. She was still technically a married women and only been away from Riley for a couple of days.
"I. Umm. Err" Buffy stammered.
"Its ok luv shush" Spike said pulling her into a tighter hold. "It's alright" Spike kissed Buffy on the head again.
"What the hell is going on here," Angel yelled turning on the light.
Buffy and Spike sat up in bed shocked.
"You filthy bastard" Angel yelled.
"Angel, Angel I am alright" Buffy said trying to calm him down.
"Keep your parts away from her" Angel said advancing on Spike.
Spike slid back until he hit the headboard. "I was just comforting her about the divorce you idiot" Spike was thankful his brain was working. "I told her that why you were here she just got a little upset, god you can be an ass"
Angel looked over at Buffy for confirmation, she noticed she was rubbing her face a little embarrassed.
"I'm such an idiot" she said "The last couple of days I forgot about Riley, its just all so real now you know"
Angel softened. "Oh ok are you sure"
"Yeah Angel I am sure, did you want something, or just walking past"
Angel looked confused for second then realised there was a reason he was walking past the door. "Oh umm doesn't matter now, ill see you guys tomorrow"
"Ok Angel" Buffy said snuggling into the bed having now moved away from Spike.
"If you wanna talk Buffy, I'll be up for a few hours yet"
"Nah, that's ok" she said turning over on her side away from Angel "When you leave can you shut the door, I don't want the T.V to keep me up its been a long day"
Angel looked shocked and Spike tried to hide his smile.
"Umm ok night Buffy" Angel said as he walked out the door turning off the light giving Spike one last glare before he regrettably shut the door.
Spike layed back down in the bed and sighed. That could have been a lot worse.
"Spike" Buffy whispered. "Will you hold me please, like last night, just for a little while".
"Umm sure luv" he replied shocked.
Buffy scooted back a little and Spike met her in the middle.
"You ok"
"Yeah, so that's why Angels here to talk about the divorce"
"Yeah I didn't want to get him involved but he knows some people who can help you, I didn't tell him much though"
"Is that why you asked me to put on a longer shirt to hide the scars"
Spike became embarrassed. "Yeah I didn't think you wanted him to see that"
"Thank you" she said squeezing the hand that was around her waist. "I am going to go to sleep now ok"
"Sure, I think you need it"
Spike made himself comfortable. He didn't think it was possible to sleep with Buffys body pressed against him. It had happened the night before but that was because he had initiated it. Spike tightened his grip on Buffy before snuggling his head into the back of her neck and finally falling asleep.
~TBC~