author: Lucinda
Series: #3 in 'Lingering Spirits'
rating: pg 13
disclaimer: not mine. Nobody from Marvel is mine.
distribution: please ask first.
Nate trusts me now. He thinks I'm here to help him, to make it easier for him to live in this world, so different from his own. In most ways, this one sounds so much better than his own world. But in that one, at least the lines between the heroes and the villains were normally drawn a bit thicker. And the heroes were in such desperate straights that they didn't have time for cruel emotional games with the people around them.
I think I'm a bit bitter over Scott... well, I know I'm bitter over it. Scott and Jean and Sinister... even the X-Men. I feel as if they have all either used me or failed me somehow. Except Jean, she just got everything instead of me... but not because she needed to try for it. Scott was hers to begin with... I was never more than a substitute for HER, not in his mind. I could see into it at the end, during the Inferno. I could see into all of their minds, see how they really felt.
Perhaps that helped me to go mad. Perhaps the knowledge that I was never intended to be more than a breeder to carry on a certain set of genes helped a bit. The knowledge that all the memories of my life were a lie, that I had been created in a laboratory scant months before I had awakened... It was easy to let everything overwhelm me, to stop trying to act in a rational and reasonable manner.
But this isn't much more real. I'm here, I have a body, I can walk around, touch people, interact, but this isn't quite real either. Only my thoughts are truly real. My body... it's not truly real. It's somehow a physically manifested construct, created and sustained by Nate. I have a body because of his power.
He doesn't know. He knows that this isn't his world, that people he knew before don't know him here, might be dead here, or live on different sides of the line between 'heroes' and 'villains'. But he doesn't know that I'm not quite real.
I discovered it by accident. I got a bit to far away one night, and I felt my body... waver, I guess. My stomach felt queasy, and I felt light-headed. I could almost see though my hand. I hurried back to where Nate was, and everything was solid and right again.
I hate it. I wasn't real to people before. Now, my 'reality' is dependant on Nate, his proximity, his belief in me.
Nate's gone. He was going to look at something, check some detail or other, and now he's vanished. I can't find him, can't fell the pattern of his mind anywhere. He's a decent kid, i don't want anything to ruin that. More personally, if he perishes, I do. Again. I have no idea how long I have, how long it will take before this created body starts to fall apart on me, unraveling to nothing.
Tonight, I went out for a drink at a local bar. Normally, I'm not much for drinking, but... I might unravel out of existence at any moment. That's the sort of thing that I'd rather not face completely sober. I wanted to try to think about this, try to figure out how this works.
Try to find a way to exist on my own, without Nate sustaining me.
There was a man watching me. Not ogling my body in this tight black leather, or mentally undressing me. No, this man was watching me, studying my actions, analyzing my behavior. He was the only one to notice my little trick with the darts. Now, he's following me on my way out, and I can feel the questions burning in his mind, along with an image, a dark haired woman, also dressed, barely, in black leather. I know her face, her name is Selene. The X-Men fought against her, she was, at least once upon a time, the Black Queen of the Hellfire club.
"I know what you did in there. Making everyone see the darts where they weren't. Quite the waste of potential." The man's voice was smug, holding arrogance like a shield. As if I couldn't know what sort of potential I had, couldn't have done something more... impressive in that bar.
"So? What makes you think I care what you think you know?" He was an annoyance. He seemed to want me to feel intimidated by him, and I wasn't about to let it happen. Besides, I had faced far more frightening things than this little man.
"What if I were to say I knew someone that could help you develop your..." the man paused, glancing over my body, lust tingeing his thoughts. "your potential. There are far more things that you could do with your abilities than win drinks in a smoke filled bar."
"So there are. But if I ask someone to teach me, I'll just go directly to the top. I don't believe in messing with middle-men anymore." I had lost her patience with the man. He had started to look at me the same way the others in the bar had, a commodity to use. I hated that, hate the idea of being used and discarded. I turned, intending to walk away, towards the last place that I thought Nate had been.
Frustrated, seeing his chance about to walk away, the man reached out, grabbing my arm, jerking me around to face him. Anger seared through my body, and I reached out, seizing him, and somehow 'squeezed' and 'pulled' at the same time. Heat flood through my body, almost as hot as my anger, and the man's mouth opened in a soundless scream, but I still heard it, echoing inside of my mind. He dropped to the ground, unmoving.
"I think I'll talk to Selene. She might be just the person to teach me how to survive on my own. After all, she's been surviving far longer than any normal woman should." Madelyne walked away, headed towards the address of Selene's mansion, something that she had pulled from the man's mind as he had tried to scream. He wasn't moving as she left, and she didn't look back.
She hesitated a bit at the doors, looking up at the vast gothicness of the building. It was old, and beautiful, but it was a dark and intimidating beauty. This was not a place that people were intended to feel comfortable in. It was intended to convey a sense of money, and power, and authority. She knew that it had to be deliberate, and also that Selene was older still, had already been ancient when this house was still no more than plans sketched out on paper.
Gathering her courage, and checking once more how solid her corporal form was, she rang the bell, hearing the echo of the sound fill the house. The woman inside would know of her presence, of that there could be no doubt.
The door was opened by a pretty blond woman in a maid's uniform. The blonde showed Madelyne to a lushly appointed waiting room, decorated in lush velvets in deep red, almost the color of blood.
"Mi'lady will be in to speak with you shortly." The woman's voice was quiet, subdued.
It wasn't long before Selene came into the room. Madelyne could feel herself smiling slightly as she looked at the dark haired woman-predator. Selene was in a close fitting dress of a clinging purple black fabric, her lips painted almost the same shade. Her appearance hinted at shadows, mystery, and decadence, and there was a faint whisper around her, one that suggested foul secrets and corruption.
"Welcome to my home, Madelyne. What brings you here? A falling out with Xavier and his people?" Selene had a faint smile as she spoke, one that made Madelyne wonder how much Selene knew.
"I find myself in need of... shall we say hospitality and guidance?" Madelyne couldn't let Selene know how much she needed this.
"Of course, my dear. I shall be delighted to let you stay at my home. I shall only ask that you not enter my private chambers. Everything that you need will be provided. Don't worry, dear, sweet Madelyne. I will take very good care of you." Selene's words sounded almost tender and she brushed her fingers over Madelyne's cheek as she spoke.
Madelyne had the unusual feeling of knowing that she had just been given what she had asked for. Selene would take her in, would even teach her what she so desperately needed to know, to survive. Selene would take care of her.
But what would it cost her? Every 'gift' had a price, this would certainly be no exception. A small part of Madelyne wondered just what this would cost her. What portion of her heart, or soul had she just signed away to this woman?
end A Spirit's Corruption.
Series: #3 in 'Lingering Spirits'
rating: pg 13
disclaimer: not mine. Nobody from Marvel is mine.
distribution: please ask first.
Nate trusts me now. He thinks I'm here to help him, to make it easier for him to live in this world, so different from his own. In most ways, this one sounds so much better than his own world. But in that one, at least the lines between the heroes and the villains were normally drawn a bit thicker. And the heroes were in such desperate straights that they didn't have time for cruel emotional games with the people around them.
I think I'm a bit bitter over Scott... well, I know I'm bitter over it. Scott and Jean and Sinister... even the X-Men. I feel as if they have all either used me or failed me somehow. Except Jean, she just got everything instead of me... but not because she needed to try for it. Scott was hers to begin with... I was never more than a substitute for HER, not in his mind. I could see into it at the end, during the Inferno. I could see into all of their minds, see how they really felt.
Perhaps that helped me to go mad. Perhaps the knowledge that I was never intended to be more than a breeder to carry on a certain set of genes helped a bit. The knowledge that all the memories of my life were a lie, that I had been created in a laboratory scant months before I had awakened... It was easy to let everything overwhelm me, to stop trying to act in a rational and reasonable manner.
But this isn't much more real. I'm here, I have a body, I can walk around, touch people, interact, but this isn't quite real either. Only my thoughts are truly real. My body... it's not truly real. It's somehow a physically manifested construct, created and sustained by Nate. I have a body because of his power.
He doesn't know. He knows that this isn't his world, that people he knew before don't know him here, might be dead here, or live on different sides of the line between 'heroes' and 'villains'. But he doesn't know that I'm not quite real.
I discovered it by accident. I got a bit to far away one night, and I felt my body... waver, I guess. My stomach felt queasy, and I felt light-headed. I could almost see though my hand. I hurried back to where Nate was, and everything was solid and right again.
I hate it. I wasn't real to people before. Now, my 'reality' is dependant on Nate, his proximity, his belief in me.
Nate's gone. He was going to look at something, check some detail or other, and now he's vanished. I can't find him, can't fell the pattern of his mind anywhere. He's a decent kid, i don't want anything to ruin that. More personally, if he perishes, I do. Again. I have no idea how long I have, how long it will take before this created body starts to fall apart on me, unraveling to nothing.
Tonight, I went out for a drink at a local bar. Normally, I'm not much for drinking, but... I might unravel out of existence at any moment. That's the sort of thing that I'd rather not face completely sober. I wanted to try to think about this, try to figure out how this works.
Try to find a way to exist on my own, without Nate sustaining me.
There was a man watching me. Not ogling my body in this tight black leather, or mentally undressing me. No, this man was watching me, studying my actions, analyzing my behavior. He was the only one to notice my little trick with the darts. Now, he's following me on my way out, and I can feel the questions burning in his mind, along with an image, a dark haired woman, also dressed, barely, in black leather. I know her face, her name is Selene. The X-Men fought against her, she was, at least once upon a time, the Black Queen of the Hellfire club.
"I know what you did in there. Making everyone see the darts where they weren't. Quite the waste of potential." The man's voice was smug, holding arrogance like a shield. As if I couldn't know what sort of potential I had, couldn't have done something more... impressive in that bar.
"So? What makes you think I care what you think you know?" He was an annoyance. He seemed to want me to feel intimidated by him, and I wasn't about to let it happen. Besides, I had faced far more frightening things than this little man.
"What if I were to say I knew someone that could help you develop your..." the man paused, glancing over my body, lust tingeing his thoughts. "your potential. There are far more things that you could do with your abilities than win drinks in a smoke filled bar."
"So there are. But if I ask someone to teach me, I'll just go directly to the top. I don't believe in messing with middle-men anymore." I had lost her patience with the man. He had started to look at me the same way the others in the bar had, a commodity to use. I hated that, hate the idea of being used and discarded. I turned, intending to walk away, towards the last place that I thought Nate had been.
Frustrated, seeing his chance about to walk away, the man reached out, grabbing my arm, jerking me around to face him. Anger seared through my body, and I reached out, seizing him, and somehow 'squeezed' and 'pulled' at the same time. Heat flood through my body, almost as hot as my anger, and the man's mouth opened in a soundless scream, but I still heard it, echoing inside of my mind. He dropped to the ground, unmoving.
"I think I'll talk to Selene. She might be just the person to teach me how to survive on my own. After all, she's been surviving far longer than any normal woman should." Madelyne walked away, headed towards the address of Selene's mansion, something that she had pulled from the man's mind as he had tried to scream. He wasn't moving as she left, and she didn't look back.
She hesitated a bit at the doors, looking up at the vast gothicness of the building. It was old, and beautiful, but it was a dark and intimidating beauty. This was not a place that people were intended to feel comfortable in. It was intended to convey a sense of money, and power, and authority. She knew that it had to be deliberate, and also that Selene was older still, had already been ancient when this house was still no more than plans sketched out on paper.
Gathering her courage, and checking once more how solid her corporal form was, she rang the bell, hearing the echo of the sound fill the house. The woman inside would know of her presence, of that there could be no doubt.
The door was opened by a pretty blond woman in a maid's uniform. The blonde showed Madelyne to a lushly appointed waiting room, decorated in lush velvets in deep red, almost the color of blood.
"Mi'lady will be in to speak with you shortly." The woman's voice was quiet, subdued.
It wasn't long before Selene came into the room. Madelyne could feel herself smiling slightly as she looked at the dark haired woman-predator. Selene was in a close fitting dress of a clinging purple black fabric, her lips painted almost the same shade. Her appearance hinted at shadows, mystery, and decadence, and there was a faint whisper around her, one that suggested foul secrets and corruption.
"Welcome to my home, Madelyne. What brings you here? A falling out with Xavier and his people?" Selene had a faint smile as she spoke, one that made Madelyne wonder how much Selene knew.
"I find myself in need of... shall we say hospitality and guidance?" Madelyne couldn't let Selene know how much she needed this.
"Of course, my dear. I shall be delighted to let you stay at my home. I shall only ask that you not enter my private chambers. Everything that you need will be provided. Don't worry, dear, sweet Madelyne. I will take very good care of you." Selene's words sounded almost tender and she brushed her fingers over Madelyne's cheek as she spoke.
Madelyne had the unusual feeling of knowing that she had just been given what she had asked for. Selene would take her in, would even teach her what she so desperately needed to know, to survive. Selene would take care of her.
But what would it cost her? Every 'gift' had a price, this would certainly be no exception. A small part of Madelyne wondered just what this would cost her. What portion of her heart, or soul had she just signed away to this woman?
end A Spirit's Corruption.