Disclaimer: Same as the chapter before
Authors note: This is a new writing style for me, so please tell me what you think about it! Again some season 8&9 spoilers
As I'm sitting here, drinking my coffee, I'm wondering about Susan and Abby. I love Susan, last night, well, last night I found love, not a good time. Abby, she's fun to be with, and she's happy when she's with me. I don't know if I can deal with her past. Her alcoholism, her abortion, Luka. Does she fear my demons? The drugs, the guilt about Lucy and last night, if she ever finds out? We both are on the edge, one pill or one drink can send the both of us down, down to the point of desperation, Susan has always been my angel, and last night she became my fallen angel, the one who blessed me with her kiss and gave her angelic-ness up for me. I want to be with her but, Abby, she needs me. She needs me to keep her stable and together. To leave her, and go to Susan would tear her up. And I'm back to the question of Susan or Abby.
I am an adulteress. Slap that scarlet letter on me right now. Last night, I lost what ground I thought I had. I loved him since he was just a med student, trying to prove himself as a surgeon. He is the better half of me, the me who could never be. Great, now I'm getting poetic. He showed me his scars, along with the soul, and I leave him alone in his bed. He told me to get some of my own, and I did, but on my soul. He loves one of my best friends, and last night, well I can't change it so I have to deal with it all. I knew that if I went into that brownstone house, this would happen, but I did anyway. So here I am, sitting on my bed waiting for his call, bare feet getting colder with each passing moment, and asking myself the question: do I choose my happiness or Abby's?
I know that this is short, but I promise that the next one will be longer. Please R&R!