After 3 weeks Scarlett was nearly bursting with boredom. Though Column and
Bridie did their best to keep her occupied, she still wanted something hard
to put her mind to. She had gotten used to being smart, and needed to
exercise her mind. Scarlett missed Atlanta dreadfully, but stayed strong
by reminding herself about the old boys of the county, and what they
deserved.
Stuart and Brent! The names flashed in front of her. Those men look like Stu and Brent. I swear! But, nah, they can't be. Besides, I have already had a look alike on this trip. They can't be them.
At that the boys looked behind her. They looked alike, but hardly like the boys she had known in the county. These looked older, and hardened. Like all the men who had gone through the war. The cold, empty look in their eyes. The look of men who knew what death looked like. They were death themselves. Scarlett shivered in spite of herself. Those men reminded her too much of old times. She turned quickly, and fled to her cabin.
"All for Italy, off now! All for Italy off!" Scarlett panicked. She couldn't go to Italy. She just couldn't. She needed Ireland! She knew, from Pa, about the cool green hills, the soft misting rains. Italy would seem boring and hard. And England! Well, wasn't she Irish, and like all good Irish, hate the English? Scarlett really didn't, but felt that she should. The Grand Tour? Well, that was all bosh, anyway. Who needed England, or Italy? She would go directly to Ireland. The boat was going, and she had paid enough for her stateroom (cabin) that she certainly would have no problem securing quarters enough for a passage to Ireland. Scarlett looked around hurriedly, where was that girl of hers? Pansy would never stay long enough to be of use! And she needed her, for her pregnancy was beginning to show.
Scarlett had thought she was pregnant when she left Atlanta, but refused to believe it. Maybe she was just getting stout. She couldn't have a baby, especially without a father. What would folks say? Well, she would lie, if need be. And it would definitely be.
Scarlett sighed as she thought of the mourning she must go through, yet again. If she couldn't be a great lady, then her child certainly would. A divorced mother was a tragedy, but a widowed one was a tragedy, too, but at least respectable. So back to mourning. It was as if she had only left off mourning Melanie- Scarlett choked, as she always did at Melanie. She couldn't think now. And she was in mourning for Melanie deeper than anyone else, perhaps even Ashley. Ashley hadn't even been there, through Scarlett's and Melanie's trials. He was off fighting a fool war, for a cause that he didn't believe in. he was acting as a coward would! Yes, a durn fool coward who couldn't even have the sense to try to not get killed.
Scarlett sighed. Ashley was part of the old guard, he didn't belong to the new times. He really couldn't change.
"Scarlett darling, o Katie Scarlett!" that was Column's voice.
"Come in, Column. I was just getting ready for a breath of air."
As Column walked in, he could see the change in Scarlett's countenance. When she saw his face, Scarlett quickly arranged her features in a more demure look, but he could see that something was wrong.
"Scarlett darling, what is the matter?" Column knew about the divorce, Scarlett had confided in him as soon as she knew he was kin and a priest. But how could she tell him that she was angry with a man whom she shouldn't be angry at, for events that happened years ago and were not his fault? The man that broke up her marriage.
Scarlett lifted her chin in a proud way. She was going to be a lady about this, no matter what. And she would have a great baby. The baby Rhett would want but couldn't have. That would show him. She would love this baby more than it could ever be loved by Rhett. And then, when Rhett was an old man, in 30 years, she would bring her grandchildren to him and show him that he had missed the greatest family that ever was. And Scarlett would have a girl. A sweet girl, just like herself. She needed to have a little Katie. Rhett would never be able to understand a little girl the way Scarlett would understand her daughter.
After another 2 weeks had passed, Scarlett was ready to scream at everything. She needed to get off the boat and be on land. O'Hara land would be best. Scarlett knew that there wasn't any real O'Hara land with O'Hara's, but she might be able to fix that. Rhett hadn't been a fool, he had known what would keep Scarlett away and quiet. He had payed her one million dollars, in gold. At first it had been only half a million, which was still enough for Scarlett and her whole family to live on for the rest of their lives. But then, when Scarlett proposed to go to Savannah and visit there, Rhett had hurriedly doubled the sum. If Scarlett would leave, then she could have any life she chose. Scarlett knew that life wouldn't include Rhett, but it could include the County Meath.
"Oh, Bridie! Is that Ireland? That green hilly place?"
"Aye." Bridie answered. "That is the home of the O'Hara's. Our home.
Scarlett started crying, she knew where she was. She was home, like Bridie had said.
Stuart and Brent! The names flashed in front of her. Those men look like Stu and Brent. I swear! But, nah, they can't be. Besides, I have already had a look alike on this trip. They can't be them.
At that the boys looked behind her. They looked alike, but hardly like the boys she had known in the county. These looked older, and hardened. Like all the men who had gone through the war. The cold, empty look in their eyes. The look of men who knew what death looked like. They were death themselves. Scarlett shivered in spite of herself. Those men reminded her too much of old times. She turned quickly, and fled to her cabin.
"All for Italy, off now! All for Italy off!" Scarlett panicked. She couldn't go to Italy. She just couldn't. She needed Ireland! She knew, from Pa, about the cool green hills, the soft misting rains. Italy would seem boring and hard. And England! Well, wasn't she Irish, and like all good Irish, hate the English? Scarlett really didn't, but felt that she should. The Grand Tour? Well, that was all bosh, anyway. Who needed England, or Italy? She would go directly to Ireland. The boat was going, and she had paid enough for her stateroom (cabin) that she certainly would have no problem securing quarters enough for a passage to Ireland. Scarlett looked around hurriedly, where was that girl of hers? Pansy would never stay long enough to be of use! And she needed her, for her pregnancy was beginning to show.
Scarlett had thought she was pregnant when she left Atlanta, but refused to believe it. Maybe she was just getting stout. She couldn't have a baby, especially without a father. What would folks say? Well, she would lie, if need be. And it would definitely be.
Scarlett sighed as she thought of the mourning she must go through, yet again. If she couldn't be a great lady, then her child certainly would. A divorced mother was a tragedy, but a widowed one was a tragedy, too, but at least respectable. So back to mourning. It was as if she had only left off mourning Melanie- Scarlett choked, as she always did at Melanie. She couldn't think now. And she was in mourning for Melanie deeper than anyone else, perhaps even Ashley. Ashley hadn't even been there, through Scarlett's and Melanie's trials. He was off fighting a fool war, for a cause that he didn't believe in. he was acting as a coward would! Yes, a durn fool coward who couldn't even have the sense to try to not get killed.
Scarlett sighed. Ashley was part of the old guard, he didn't belong to the new times. He really couldn't change.
"Scarlett darling, o Katie Scarlett!" that was Column's voice.
"Come in, Column. I was just getting ready for a breath of air."
As Column walked in, he could see the change in Scarlett's countenance. When she saw his face, Scarlett quickly arranged her features in a more demure look, but he could see that something was wrong.
"Scarlett darling, what is the matter?" Column knew about the divorce, Scarlett had confided in him as soon as she knew he was kin and a priest. But how could she tell him that she was angry with a man whom she shouldn't be angry at, for events that happened years ago and were not his fault? The man that broke up her marriage.
Scarlett lifted her chin in a proud way. She was going to be a lady about this, no matter what. And she would have a great baby. The baby Rhett would want but couldn't have. That would show him. She would love this baby more than it could ever be loved by Rhett. And then, when Rhett was an old man, in 30 years, she would bring her grandchildren to him and show him that he had missed the greatest family that ever was. And Scarlett would have a girl. A sweet girl, just like herself. She needed to have a little Katie. Rhett would never be able to understand a little girl the way Scarlett would understand her daughter.
After another 2 weeks had passed, Scarlett was ready to scream at everything. She needed to get off the boat and be on land. O'Hara land would be best. Scarlett knew that there wasn't any real O'Hara land with O'Hara's, but she might be able to fix that. Rhett hadn't been a fool, he had known what would keep Scarlett away and quiet. He had payed her one million dollars, in gold. At first it had been only half a million, which was still enough for Scarlett and her whole family to live on for the rest of their lives. But then, when Scarlett proposed to go to Savannah and visit there, Rhett had hurriedly doubled the sum. If Scarlett would leave, then she could have any life she chose. Scarlett knew that life wouldn't include Rhett, but it could include the County Meath.
"Oh, Bridie! Is that Ireland? That green hilly place?"
"Aye." Bridie answered. "That is the home of the O'Hara's. Our home.
Scarlett started crying, she knew where she was. She was home, like Bridie had said.